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What do I tell my friends, family and neighbors? What do I tell my friends, family and neighbors?

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Unread 04-12-2002, 11:03 AM
What do I tell my friends, family and neighbors?

Hi everyone! Just joined this week and this is my first post. Haven't found this subject yet in my browsing so here goes!

Who, what, when should I tell family, friends, neighbors I'm having major surgery (should I say hysterectomy)? :confuse: My boss knows; it was obvious I had to tell her I would be gone for at least 6-8 weeks or more. I don't know how much or if I should tell neighbors I see every once in a while. As for friends, I don't want them to worry overmuch but I'm sure they are going to want to know all the details and how they can help. That leads me to ask when I should tell them. I have my pre op 4/25 and should know a lot more then but how much should they know? Don't want to scare any of them with horror synopses.

As for family, I'm not very close with any but my sister and parents. Parents though are in the mid eighties and I certainly don't want them worry about this which really is the best thing I've done for myself in a long time. My sister I probably will tell closer to my date of 5/6.

Suggestions, your experiences, dos and don'ts please!
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Unread 04-12-2002, 11:32 AM
What do I tell my friends, family and neighbors?

I think tell them as much as you feel comfortable with. This is a pretty standard surgery, that most people are at least partially familiar. I think it's really only scary when it happens to you.. I know when both my sister-in-laws had it done (they lived out of town), I remember thinking, "Oh yeah, they do those all the time". Now that it's my turn, I've called them up wanting ALL the details. I can't believe, in retrospect, that I wasn't more concerned or interested. I'm feeling pretty guilty about it now...

I've got older parents too. However my Mom had a hyst in her 20's, and she just reassures me I'll be fine.

As for work, well I work with men almost exclusively. I've been slowing spreading the word as it seems appropriate. Some are telling others, etc... The other day, I was talking to 2 of them when I decided it was a good time to tell them. When I brought it up, one turned and walked away and got really squeamish, the other wanted to know the details, etc. I was afraid of what they might think is wrong, if I didn't tell them.

Guess everyone's different. The main thing is, do whatever YOU are comfortable with..

Unread 04-12-2002, 11:59 AM
What do I tell my friends, family and neighbors?

There's no rule here. Do what's comfortable for you. If you WANT to tell people, go ahead. If not, tell only those that you must and only as much as they need to know.

Since mine was possible ovarian cancer, I told only my boss and closest colleagues at work. (We all have medical backgrounds, so I was straight out with everyone.) My kids (11 and 13) didn't even know until I started prepping for surgery 2 nights before. I downplayed the importance so they wouldn't worry. The only reason my sisters and dad knew was because one of my sisters found out accidently and then promised to blab it around if I didn't tell. So I decided it was better to have me tell them, than for my sister to exagerate. I told one neighbor (so she could check in on the kids the day of my surgery since my husband wouldn't be home when they got home from school). Other than that, I just told people when I returned to work. Some asked, others didn't, or if they did, they didn't ask me. Some were very supportive and I found out about two that had them and I didn't know!

Do what makes sense and say what feels comfortable for you.
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Unread 04-12-2002, 01:15 PM
What do I tell my friends, family and neighbors?

I just say I had surgery. If they want to know anything else, they ask and I tell them. If you just say 'surgery', they assume it's like appendix or warts or something minor. Most times they won't press.
Unread 04-12-2002, 01:19 PM
What do I tell my friends, family and neighbors?

I told very few people ahead of time. Just on the need to know basis. After words if neighbors have asked why I am home all the time etc I just tell them I had a hyst and everything is healing well. I told my mom the day after. I knew if I told her ahead of time she would worry and that would get me all jacked up. She was glad that I waited to tell her. Good luck. Dosi

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