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I need advice... I need advice...

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Unread 04-14-2002, 07:40 PM
I need advice...

Has anyone chosen not to tell your employer about your surgery? I didn't want to and when I told them I wanted time off, she said okay. Technically I'm not an employee, I'm an independant contractor. But I got a message on my machine today asking if I can work just one day a week in July(I'm having surgery in June). I honestly didn't want to discuss this with anyone that I work with, but now my husband is telling me I need to tell atleast the person that owns the business. I don't feel like I should have to tell her, but I don't want to lie. What should I do?
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Unread 04-14-2002, 07:50 PM
I need advice...

You can choose exactly how much to tell your employer without lying.

You can tell them that you're having a medical condition taken care of. You can tell them that you're having surgery that will prevent you from being able to work until X date. You can tell them exactly what you're having done if you like. Or you can simply say, "I'm sorry, but I will be completely unavailable from X till Y. I might be available part-time starting <this date>, but I won't know till at least <that date>." To soothe any of their concerns, you could tell them that you aren't working for anyone else, that this is a personal situation, and that you will make every effort to make yourself available for work ASAP.

If you heal quickly, and the July work-dates come a few weeks after surgery, it might actually feel good to get out & do something. At 4+ weeks, I am going totally stir crazy, though I know I'm not recovered enough to work full-time.

Just remember -- you aren't obliged to disclose anything about your health. If pressed for information, you can simply say that you would prefer not to discuss it. You're not lying; you're just maintaining your privacy.

Good luck!

Unread 04-14-2002, 07:52 PM
Just my 2 cents

If you don't tell her she will probably constantly call and ask can you work. Also I am sure if you tell her it will bring you more peace in the long run. If you don't want to get into detail with the surgery just tell her you are having surgery that requires whatever amount of weeks recovery.
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Unread 04-14-2002, 07:57 PM
I need advice...

Hi, Pasdechat,

I have mixed feelings about your question.

On one hand, I think your medical status is your own business. Women who talk about their plans to have a hysterectomy often end up dealing with unwanted opinions and advice. Everyone seems to have an opinion about someone else's hyst.

On the other hand, I believe that honesty is the best policy. I don't know your reasons for not wanting to discuss this with your employer, but please consider whether hiding your surgery could damage your relationship with your employer, in the future.

How about a compromise? How about saying that you're having surgery, and won't be available to work again until a set date? If your employer asks about the surgery, I think you'd have every right to say, politely, that it's personal, and you'd prefer not to discuss the details.

Good luck with your decision about this.

Best wishes,
Unread 04-14-2002, 08:26 PM
I need advice...

One additional thought, although it is certainly only your business what kind of surgery your having done, don't forget people love to gossip, if you try to keep it hush hush before you know it rumor will be that you have some dreaded incurable diease or that you had a nose job or a tummy tuck. If you tell them it's surgery, be honest, a hysterectomy isn't anything to hide.

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