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Dealing With Family That Doesn't Understand Dealing With Family That Doesn't Understand

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  #1  
Unread 04-15-2002, 05:14 PM
Dealing With Family That Doesn't Understand

Help!
I am scheduled for a TAH on 4/30. I have been in awful pain for 2 years and my own mother can't support me. She thinks I should be used to the pain by now! It hurts my feelings even though I try not to let it. My hubby says ignore her but that's hard. She's my mom and she has been great through everything else and it's hard not to have her support in this of all things. Has anyone else had to deal with non-supportive family? How? And I love!! this web site. IT has been a godsend! All of you women are wonderful!!

TaraLee

TAH 4/30 for endo, fibroids and possible adenomyosis
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  #2  
Unread 04-15-2002, 05:49 PM
Dealing With Family That Doesn't Understand

{{{{TARALEE}}}}

I'm so sorry that your mom isn't supporting you. Maybe she's really frightened for you for some reason and she's covering it up this way....who knows.

The important thing is that YOU know that no one has to suffer for years...why should we have to get USED to pain???!?!?!?! That might have been the fate of women in the past, but thank heavens today we have the technology to be able to live happy, healthy and productive lives, free from pain. That sort of thinking is medieval....don't you buy into it! I know it hurts, but you and your doctor have made this decision and once your mom sees you back to your healthy self, she may change her tune.

Just keep yourself focused on what's right for YOU, and follow your instincts. You deserve to be healthy.

Sending HUGE s to you!

Karen
  #3  
Unread 04-15-2002, 05:52 PM
Dealing With Family That Doesn't Understand

TaraLee,

So glad you found us

It is just so disappointing when family is not supportive of your decision to have a hyst. It must be awful to have your mother being so negative about it. Unfortunately, many of us had friends or family who could not understand how or why we would decide to have a hyst.

Most likely, you won't be able to convince your mom that what you are doing is right for you. Moms have a way of thinking they know what is right for you, no matter your age. You may have to stop seeking her approval on this one. But don't torture yourself over it. Deciding to have a hyst is so difficult, not a decision anyone takes lightly. Just know in your heart that what you are doing is right for you, no matter what mom says. Please don't let her feelings cause you to second guess yourself or cast a negative light on your decision. Your job right now is to keep a positive attitude about how great you will feel after your hyst. Your attitude will influence how you recover, so do your best to confide in supportive friends and family.

I know this is hard. One of my best friends was horrified that I decided to have a hyst. I finally just quit talking to her about it. She was not helping me and it hurt every time she questioned whether or not I really needed to do this. (At four months post op, I can tell you most definitely that I needed this surgery and I'm doing great!)

Hang in there. Believe in yourself. We're here for you.

Beth
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  #4  
Unread 04-15-2002, 06:55 PM
Keep on Smiling

TaraLee,
I'm sure when the time comes that your mom will support and help your every need during and after your surgery. I am sure that you mom is so worried that she doesn't know how to cover up her worry. I am sure after you give her a little time she will come around. I couldn't imagine not having the support of my mom. I hope all goes well with you. One other thing try talking to your mom and explain to her how you feel about the situation.
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