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Why does it seem like when it rains- it pores!! Why does it seem like when it rains- it pores!!

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Unread 04-17-2002, 07:34 AM
Why does it seem like when it rains- it pores!!

Ok I just need to vent-
I am scheduled for surgery this Friday (19th). The entire time I thought I had my ducks in a row as far as who would be watching my son, ect. My mom calls and says my dad (which is a diabetic) has an infected toe and may possibly have to have surgery within the next few days to remove toe. I told her at the time I would get with my friends who has offered to help and have them take care of my son. My husbands plans on being at the hospital with me most of the time and I want my son to still go to his games, ect. I was still pretty calm about everything until this morning when she calls me CRYING concerning my dad. They will not know until later today if he has to have surgery or not. She is all upset and I know she should be but I really don't need that right now....Does that seem insencitive?
If they do his surgery it will be as an out-patient and she knows what to expect because he has had this done before. I hate I will not be there to help but I am going to be kinda busy myself.
She has me so confused and upset right now that I could scream!!! I told her I realized she was upset but that I really needed her to be stronge threw this and not go off the deep end on me.
Why does it seem like you have everything planned out and then life throws you a curve ball-
Well I am sure things will work out but I really wanted my mom to be there (in a stronge way) for me. During and After I just don't know if I can handle her crying and depressed.
Thanks for listening to me ramble-
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Unread 04-17-2002, 07:45 AM
Why does it seem like when it rains- it pores!!

I don't think that you are being insensitive at all...but I have a feeling that your Mom is feeling very torn right now because she probably wants to be there for the both of you!
Take a deep breath and relax
Know that we are here for you!
I will be saying prayers for you and your Family!
Unread 04-17-2002, 07:46 AM
Prayers for you


I'm so sorry that other circumstances are conflicting with your time in the castle. It seems like there are always other things going on when we need to focus on 'us.' Is that one of the many wonderful things about being a woman?

While I know you would love for your mother to be there for you, and you would love to be there for both of your parents, your surgery is #1 priority now.

So go ahead a cry--it always makes me feel better, but know that God will work things out for everyone in the end.

You are in my prayers.

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Unread 04-17-2002, 07:50 AM
Why does it seem like when it rains- it pores!!

i know just what you are going through, different problems but we probably are feeling the same. I keep telling myself "This too Shall Pass' Everything will turn out ok for you. I will be thinking of you and your family. Linda
Unread 04-17-2002, 08:05 AM
I'm praying for you!

Hi RunAbout - Just checked in and saw your post. I'm so sorry all this is happening right now. Just when you need your family, they're not truly there for you. That's not being selfish - it's being real!! You're in my prayers, dear - only a few more days, and the worst will be over!

Blessings - Lin
Unread 04-17-2002, 08:22 AM
Hi Lynne

I am so sorry about your Dad and the less than desirable timing of everything.
I don't know why everything happens all at once but sometimes it sure does. I rushed my mom into emergency right after my diagnosis. She was in the hospital for 8 days. I was with her the whole time up until my surgery which was about 5 weeks later. It was very difficult and although I love my mom alot I have to admit feeling a little resentful at times.
It is natural for us to be very focused on us at this time and want that from everyone else too. Unfortunately life just doesn't always work that way.
From what I have read here at HS it seems as if many women face challenges with their parents around their surgeries. It makes it very hard for everyone. I know.
All I can offer you are and good thoughts that all will work out for you and your family.
We are here for you. Hang in there. Soon this will be behind you.
Unread 04-17-2002, 08:39 AM
Why does it seem like when it rains- it pores!!

Hello Lynne,

Sorry you are having a tough time, and I'm sorry about your dad's troubles, too. You must, however, take care of yourself first and foremost right now. Mom's a big girl, and she's going thru heck herself. A husband and a daughter facing surgery. How's your dad faring through all this, by the way? It seems it's the women who take the brunt of life. Like you, I'm a basket case about my upcoming surgery, so your nerves must be more frazzled than mine.

Take care of yourself. Take good care of yourself. Take very good care of yourself. Set reasonable boundaries with your mother. Don't back down. You don't need to carry the world on your shoulders.

Take the time now to ask yourself what you need right now, what is good for you and what isn't. You'll know the answers if you listen to your heart. Don't try to rationalize yourself out of those answers. Unplug the phone if you have to, or whatever it takes. I want to hear from you that you are going to, at least just for today, do what is best for you all day long!

I'll be thinking of you, praying for you, and mentally sending you thoughts "Take care of yourself! . . ."

Hugs and love--


P.S. My mother would be doing the same thing to me right now if the circumstances allowed. Years of therapy have helped me!
Unread 04-17-2002, 11:14 AM
Why does it seem like when it rains- it pores!!

I know what your saying. My family isnt around here. My mother in law leaves 5 hrs away and sister in law 4 hrs away. Well we thought we had it all planned out. Mother in law come for the days I am in the hosp. Then leave that sunday. then Sister in law down the week after hubby goes back to work. NOPE, mother in law hasnt let us know for sure yet !! Sister in law says well I have a job interview its getting tough around here. SO Now I dont know what to do. I am hoping after recoving 1 week with hubby home I will be able to just sit around here and just stand long enough to make lunches. Its not gonna be easy 4 kids. 9,6,4 1/2 and 2 1/2. My kids dont go to school, I home school so they are home all day. My oldest will help alot. I will owe him big. They have N64 I usually put it way this time of hte year and they dont get it back till fall but I have decided that will be a helper ( I know so bad) but it will keep them where i can see them and not messing the house up.

Sorry to hear about your Fathers troubles I know that cant help to your stress you have now. I couldnt handle more than what I am dealing with now. How it must really hard for your mother. He daughter and hubby not well. As a mother I know when hubby and kids are sick my heart just aches I feel like I cant be spread enought around.

Hope all goes well

Tam Kas
Unread 04-18-2002, 05:21 AM

Thanks to all that replied to my post yesterday. My dad will be fine. He and my Mom went to his doctor and found out he does not have to have surgery....thank godness... that takes alot of stress off of me.
So now i am just cleaning my house and trying to get everything in order for the big day tomorrow.
Thanks again
Unread 04-18-2002, 05:28 AM


God answers prayers. I am so glad your father does not need surgery. I know you are happy in more ways than one.

Surely both of your parents want to be there for your support and now they can be.

I'm so glad you posted and had so many of the sisters here praying that things would work out for you.


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