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DH is worried about my TAH DH is worried about my TAH

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  #1  
Unread 04-19-2002, 07:20 AM
DH is worried about my TAH

I'm new and have been very comforted by reading everyones stories, but my DH is very worried about me having this surgery. I'm 28 and have had chronic back pain for 2years and have finally found out the reason was an enlarged uterus (size of 14 week pregnancy). My Dr. suggested the TAH and I agreed once I had done some research. I'm pretty okay with it but have some worries but am not sure how to reassure my DH that this is the right thing. Also, how do explain to my kids? Girl age 9, boys ages 8, 6 and 4 1/2.
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  #2  
Unread 04-19-2002, 07:33 AM
DH is worried about my TAH

Hello and welcome Mkb, My husband is really worried to, he tries not to show it but he never sits still since i told him, he is always trying to stay busy now. I wonder what he is going to be like in the or waiting room! I suppose the only thing you could do is sit your husband down tell him yes your scared to but this is going to make both of your lives better. I think if he feels your in this together and feels that he is a part of it too, that he will probably handle it better. I am 30 by the way not much older than you. I also think that you could tell the oldest child that you need to go get the pain in your back fixed so you can run and play with them all like you have wanted to for so long.My children are pretty nervous to(they are 8, 12 ,14), i know i had them young.I just tell them that i am going to go get all better so i can do the fun mommy stuff i use to do with them before all this started. I hope i helped and good luck.
  #3  
Unread 04-19-2002, 09:34 AM
DH is worried about my TAH

Had a TAH/BSO this past Monday, April 15th, home on the 17th. My dh was making me a nervous wreck. I knew he was so scared, happen to overhear him talking to a friend, but he just kept reassuring me and telling me everything was going to be fine. He couldn't sit still and was always into something. I am much older than you, have a 23 year old daughter who was handling things much better than I. What helped both dh and dd was printing information from this site. I printed everything from what to take to the hospital, what to do when I got home, even some of the messages. I would put them next to his chair and ask him to read when he got a chance. He never read them in front of me, but I knew he had read them. Afterwards he told me it made all the difference in the world. I suggest doing the same for your kids. You may want to go on the post op site and print some of the great messages as to how well we are all feeling!!! I personally think it is important to keep everything open and truthful with your children. That's what we did with our grandchildren and as young as they are, the fear was there. They heard the whispering and I think that made it worse for them. Don't want to be to graphic, but at least letting them think they are a part will help them.

My doctor was great with my husband and daughter. Take dh to the doctor with you and ask questions so he can hear the answer first hand.

Best wishes to you - as they say over and over - waiting is the worst and I am hear to tell you they are absolutely right !!!!
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