Hard Time

Hi Ladies in waiting, My TAH is schedule for May 17 and I'm really have a hard time talking about this to family members. I guess I just shame to admit that I'm having a TAH because of all the myth that have been said. My husband is very supportive out of respect for my feelings he have agreed to not to tell anyone that I'm having a hysterectomy but that I'm having a cyst removed instead. I just feel like crying. Please assure me that when this is done I will be just fine. The only problems that I have is cramps really bad and alot of clotting on occassion I do have pressure. Please pray for me

and welcome to Hyster Sisters!

I know it's hard, I had to wait a while to tell my friends and family. We are here to support you. What myths are you talking about? Sounds like your hubby is very supportive of your wishes.

Have you read the pull-down menus on the main page? www.hystersisters.com There is a lot of imformation on this site and those menus helped me out, tons!

Please don't cry as you will get me started, okay? I'm the worst with that!



Sara

although my surgery was scheduled 6 weeks in advance, i waited until 2 weeks before the date to tell anyone in my family. i didn't want them to stress nearly as hard as i was about it. but i was glad i told them, because i was thankful for their support after the surgery. i went to webmd and printed out the type of surgery i was having so there would be no misunderstandings. then about a week before my surgery i emailed my fathers oldest sister and told her what i was having done. i did this to ensure that everyone on his side of the family would know what i had done. the last thing i want is to be asked when i'm going to have children at the next gathering. surprisingly my aunt was very supportive and understanding. i was not expecting that from a catholic family.i would encourage you to let your family know what your doing and why. you will need a lot of help after the surgery. you won't be able to lift anything over 5lbs for a few weeks. that usually eliminates, cooking,cleaning,shopping. i stocked up on things so we didn't need to do much shopping for the 2 weeks i couldn't do anything. we cooked meats and froze them, so everything just needed to be thawed and heated. when one of our neighbors found out, they brought an entire dinner over to us. the cleaning, well we're still working that one out. i'm able to a bit more each day. and the husband person knows he gets to do all the vaccuming for a while. let them know and don't expect anything from them. maybe they will surprise you. good luck and it really is better on the other side.

Hey Ladye! I was not prepared for some of the comments I got before sx. I am niave and feel that the world is full of nice, sweet, supportive people at all turns. So I told everyone I met to get their support. I originally went to see the urologist b/c of wetting myself when I pee and I wanted the pill they give you on tv to stop it. He took one look down there and said bladder, uterus and rectum were on their way out to see the world. I need a TAH (shocking to me ) and soon. I found out from a friend of mine that neighbors down the street were appalled at me for seeking out a dr to perform a hysterectomy for the attention I would get when all I needed was a pill for peeing. That was comment one in a long string of not so supportive comments. I guess I grew up a little in this experience (at 36 I needed to grow up some). So my advice to you is share with those you know will be supportive and pray for those who are mean. As a side note, when I got my path report back I took them down the street to this negative neighbor (who is a surgical nurse) to get her to explain the results to me (I already knew, just wanted her to see for herself). She was shocked at my results and said had I left things in tac I could have easily had uterine cancer in later years. She never appologized and I didn't say I told you so, but the subtl message got across! 's to you!

Ladye,
I got very angry for you when I read your post! You have nothing to be ashamed about and you should only have supportive, nurturing people around you at this or any other time in your life. If you needed heart surgery would people still be saying you are doing it for the attention??? PLEASE! You need to learn it is OK to stand up for yourself. If this is right for you, no one has the right to question your decison!!!
And you most certainly DO NOT have to explain yourself or your test results to anyone. <<<<GGGGRRRRRRR>>>>
You are in my thoughts and prayers. The only person you should be worrying about is YOU. Take care!

Thanks everyone for your reply. The myth that I'm referring to are that women who have hysterectomy can't fully satisfy their mate. Or she is not a total woman per say. Tell me will I still have PMS after the TAH, Will I be able to achieve a organism and satisfy my spouse. As of now our sex life is wonderfulllllllllllllllllll.

If you will be keeping your ovaries and they do not fail temporarily or permanently, then your PMS will likely not change as it is the fluctuation in the hormone levels (secreted by your ovaries) that causes PMS.

As for sexual satisfaction, from what I've read here, husbands rarely notice any difference. Many women have said that it is better, expecially if they were have severe menstrual problems, some say no difference, others say different, but not worse.

I found that my drive is decreased, but once we get started, there is no difference from before. ( do not have any ovaries left and am on HRT).

Those are the answers to your questions. But I agree with the others that you need to do what is right for your body. Forget what the others say.

Ladye,

I haven't noticed any difference in sex. If anything it's better!
I have noticed that I don't have PAIN or BLEEDING during sex or after.

Sara

Hi Ladye!

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time telling family members. I understand. Only tell who you're comfortable in telling. Half my brothers know about mine, but I have not told my mother. I will tell her after the fact.

Please take care of yourself and do what is best for you. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks. What does matter is what is in YOUR heart. Besides, I can't imagine a dr agreeing to give someone a hysterectomy for a frivolous reason.

Be who you are, and when you need us, we're here. We understand.

I'm like Ladye. My surgery is scheduled for May 29 and I'm beginning to feel nervous about it. My family doesn't know either, except my sister. I'm ok with that. I'll deal with them when this is over. My husband is very supportive.
I've put this off for so long.Now my uterus is enlarged, have lots of endometriosis. Also will have my bladder repaired and placed in a sling.
But today I am menstruating and wish this pain would go away. The days before surgery will probably be the hardest part. Prayers go out to all of you. In a month from now, we'll be saying this is the best thing we've ever done. Gotta stay positive girls!