the waiting game

I have this repetetive dream, that the DR I found on my prolonged net searches, will do something different to me, than the subtotal lap. hyst. I decided on, freaky! My dearest Daddy was a specialist and I have been around too many 'oops's' in his carreer to feel very surrendered to any surgeon. Just hope mine will have a good day on Wednesday. I have not had my pre op yet, have not met the Dr and his nurse told me I could eat breakfast the day of surgery. Somehow the ground feels more and more slippery under my feet. Unfortunately I have run out of incomplete projects and have far too much time to think. I updated my will, completed the taxes, the pantry is stacked up, there is nothing left to clean or do anywhere on our 5 acres... oh how I hate waiting. See why I am so nervous that the DR can not deal with my adhesions laparoscopically after all and changes to an abdominal is that I very likely end up paralysed from the waist down, if they cut through my abdominal muscles because of an orthopaedic problem in my back. The pride and arrogance of most DR's also does not help me one bit with this. They want to be the ones to decide what should happen to MY BODY even if they do not have to live with the consequences and they are not interested in all the circumstances, especially outside their own field. Maybe I should get confirmation in writing that he will not do an abdominal??? Oh sh... I better change tune otherwise I will whimp out and not show up for my appointment, drive my family totally nuts (even more than usual). Well, this too shall pass. Funny what time does when we want it to pass...

Well, maybe you should schedule a meeting with this DR. Personally, I would not let anyone I hadn't met first operate on me...just one of those quirky things.

Especially in light of your apprehension and the doubts you are having, I'd get in there and meet the doctor. It sounds like you have the details of your life in good order, but you have alot of doubts and reservations about the surgery and the surgeon.

I think if I felt that way, I'd either meet the doctor and have a frank discussion about all this, or I'd postpone the surgery until I felt more comfortable with the whole thing. It's possible that a sitdown meeting would help you feel better about what's ahead, what the surgical plan is, and what the real risks are as opposed to the ones you're imagining.

It's normal to be fearful, but maybe you can get it more under control by talking with your doctor. I sure hope so.

s

Karen

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing! My sister-in-law is an ob nurse and felt compelled to "share" with me the horror stories! I can't relate to not having confidence in my dr. Mine is great and I surely CANNOT imagine being told to have b'fast the morning OF! Hoepfully you will be able to sit down and have a good long talk before. Make sure you have the utmost confidence going in or it may play a part in recovery. Is your cottage all stocked up for your recovery? Lots of drinks, snacks, books, movie and those all important thank you cards?? Just remember....lots of rest....lots of and as hard as it is....just trying to Stay onlilne with the other sisters as much as you can. It will help! I am 2 weeks post op and wish to goodness I had found this site BEFORE!
Good luck!