A REAL change of life -- this is long!

Hi all:

The Berman and Berman taping is tomorrow. I had to go get make-up (which I haven't worn in almost a year) and went to get my hair cut for the first time in 3 months today . I also worked today (it's my first week back), got the haircut, did the shopping for my DD's 7th birthday tomorrow . I guess, in my family, my 8 weeks of allotted recovery are up. DH is being good about things still, but he forgot to take the brownies out of the oven for the birthday party and now we'll have to make another batch tomorrow .

Returning to work has made me realize that, although I've done this sort of work for over 20 years, and medicine for 30, at least one of my jobs really isn't healthy for me any more. I injured my neck on this job last year, and I may not be able to keep the job for much longer. OTOH, our car was stolen last month; we bought a new one, and adopted car payments for the first time in 15 years! So DH is kind of on me to work even more.

I would like to try to begin writing, health articles, etc. Maybe it's time to change my life more than just biochemically. What I love more than anything else is educating people about their bodies and their health, working with them to help make sense of all the choices and news out there so they can make the best choices for themselves. I can't begin to tell all of you what participating in this site has meant for me. Not only have I learned about myself and my choices by reading of others' experience, I have re-tapped a well inside me that I thought was gone years ago. Participating here has made me want to write again, and has helped me feel that I might have something worth saying.

Sorry this is so long. I always get a little emotional around my DD's birthday; we both nearly died when she was born (thanks to pre-eclampsia, another one of my interests) and given that her odds were 50% when she had her first surgery at 2 days old, herbirthday is a little post-traumatic every year.

Maybe this year, along with the change of life, I can birth a new way of life for myself, one that is healthier and happier. As I read of others' experiences, it seems that a number of us realize that our surgeries seem to be a catalyst for much bigger changes than the biochemical ones (not that they're insignificant!).

My DH thinks that when I had my surgery, they also did a personality transplant. Actually, I hope so. I've never had the courage to make a life change like this, and I can only pray that it's actually possible (and work my tail off to "make it so").

You know, at first I couldn't think of the appropriate forum to post this. But it occurred to me that this is such a time of reflection for so many of us. It's certainly the first time in my life that I've been down for so long, other than my pregnancy, and then I had this sick baby in the NICU to contend with. That was my life change that time.

This time, it's for me . I want a healthier lifestyle, one that is making pro-active choices and one that isn't at the whims of mentally ill co-workers. Now, this isn't an issue on a par with incisions, and overdoing, and pain-killers, but in a way, it's this kind of reflection that, for me at least, will have made it all worthwhile.

Those of you who've made it this far through my rambling, thank you. I'll post after the Berman and Berman show, but probably not until Sunday (maybe Linda "Surferbabe" will post before then). Tomorrow belongs to my family; they've earned it!

Thank you all, for responding to me in the past. Your kind words have always meant more than you can ever know.

Audrey

hi Audrey, just thought I would add that i have read many of your responses and explanations on heaps of threads and I think you will do this next step in your career brilliantly. I especially feel for the people who do not have the fingertip access of internet use, and if you can put your ideas in print, on tv, radio or magazines or papers, then great! Being in the dark and unsure is the most crippling of feelings and I reckon you will not only turn on a light to guide, you'll put on a laser show of brilliance.

I'm in nz so not sure what the Berman show is, is it a talk show or health show? Best of luck with the taping and only break a fictional leg! Linda

Audrey,

You are my hero;

gutsy and self assured


Sorry that you had to go through so much to get where you are, but I guess if you didn't, you wouldn't be there either!



I only hope I will be sure of myself and stronger when I put my 'ordeal' behind, and move on with life.

Congratulations Audrey,

sincerely,
Dasha

Dear Audrey,

I'm so proud of you! I'm impressed that you've recognized the need for some changes and desire them enough to make them happen. I have no doubt you can do it! You go girl!

I've seen reflections like this....women that have surgery, are allowed the time to recover and with the time they have off, their bodies aren't the only thing that begin to heal. Time to consider the possibilities....And having the time to imagine what *could* be and figuring our how to make it happen is provided with recovery.

I think for me, when I had my surgery (over 4 years ago) I found that the things that were "hurry hurry" didn't quite matter anymore. The pressure was relieved while I was recovering and I began to find the things that excited me and I enjoyed the most. I began to write more, paint more, enjoy music more. I found that the fast lifestyle of our world around me, the material pot of gold, wasn't as fascinating as what I found in women around me on the net. I created HysterSisters during my recovery as an extention of a way to offer a friendship support to others....at a pace that didn't require sitting in traffic. Its a God thing for me.

I think this surgery, with all its negative icky things that it provides us...simply because it *is* surgery....gives us the opportunity to reflect on our lives, where its going and what we are doing with the precious minutes that we have.

(In fact, when I was recovering even at 3 months post op, I evaluated what was possible for me to do based on my energy level. I could go grocery shopping or to an art store...not both in the same afternoon.....Most of the time, I headed to the art store! I asked DH to help with the groceries )

Our time matters and we matter. The king sees us each as precious and important enough to allow us to slow down and see where it is we are really headed.....and adjust that direction if we can!

(((Audrey ))) I want to hear all about the Berman and Berman show. I can't wait to see the taping. Have a great time! Hug the other hystersisters for me....and tell those Berman sisters that the Hyster Sisters sent you.

I'm proud of you!

Hi,
thanks for writing, Audrey!
I too ended up using this recovery time to reflect on my life, my family, and my career. In many ways, I actually enjoyed this experience--certainly it wasn't at all what I had expected.

I am 47, and went back to grad school about 8 years ago and got my Ph.D. But since then I've been working at one-year teaching positions. There isn't really anything in my field within reasonable commuting distance of where I live. I just said no to another one-year appointment, and so I guess I'm now contemplating what to do next!

It would be interesting to know if this experience changed others' lives in ways they didn't expect--not just medically but spiritually.

Hey Audrey,

Good for you, for seeing what you really want, and going for it.

I think a hyst can be a real "wake up call" about what's important, and what's not, in our lives. A sort of month-long sabatical from daily pressure, combined with a kind of low-level near-death experience.

Have fun in your new adventures!

Brain fog must be clearing, Berman and Berman rang familiar. Now I remember that it's the two sisters, one's a urologist and the other specializes in women's sexual health???? Something like that. I saw a commercial. Way to go Audrey! I'm going to have to catch you on-air.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one reflecting on life and what I want to do. I've pretty much figured out that I want to make some major life changes myself. And the first one has been to quit smoking (4 weeks this Monday, yeah! : )

I'll be cheering for you! Take care and good luck!

You're absolutely right about this surgery changing more than our bodies. During the past weeks, I have really started thinking about what I wanted. I have spent the last 18 years as a paralegal and now I realize that I am no longer excited about the prospect of going back to work to listen to our business clients litigate the sillest claims. I no longer enjoy the nastiness that goes along with the job. I would much rather find a kinder, gentler career path, really helping people. I think social work or teaching would be a much more enjoyable career. I just need to find the time to do it. Best wishes to you.

Barbara

Hi,all. This past year has also shown me that some of the things that mattered to me,aren't as important,and that having my health back,even through the "miracle of modern medicine",is WAY more important than petty issues that irked me. For instance,as I went on vacation last year,we had too many people sharing one bathroom,and I was miserable,to begin with. How small that seems,now,1 year later!! Tomorrow,as i leave for vacation,I reflect on the health I have regained by having the hyst--I REALLY didn't want one. It is,in retrospect,the best decision I've made for myself!!!!! I already had been perimenopausal,from my early 30's,so not getting my period,anymore,EVER,sounded like a good deal to me!!!!! I am 42 now,and not missing hot flashes or night sweats right about now. I do have some nights where sleep just seems to avoid me,but thankfully,not very often,or for long spells. I kept my ovaries,although I have read here and on other sites that ovaries can,and do,fail,and may need to be removed,anyway. I feel it is too important to keep them,as with hypothyroidism,having to rely on HRT,alone,for menopause,is not only foolhardy,but can be dangerous!!!!! Audrey,best of luck with your appearance with Drs. Berman & Berman!! Ladies,best to all of you as you recover and reflect on your healing. My healing was at least 65% mental,as I had been very depressed,due to the cervical cancer scare. I had two LEEP's last year,followed by the hyst(my uterus was the size of a 22-week pregnancy).

Please find out for us when this show will air on the Discovery Health channel. I've been watching for the promo. I live in Florida and am on Central time. Can't wait to see it.

Break a leg!

Dawn