cancelled scheduled TAH today

The reason for my hyst was menhorragia (excessive bleeding) that started suddenly about 1 1/2 years ago. Prior to that, I was the most regular person I knew with regard to my periods. The doc suggested and I tried a d&c, birth control pills, depo-provera (I loved this but I had an anaphactoid reaction to it and that was it for any more progesterone according to my doctor), balloon ablation and when the bleeding started again in March, she mentioned hysterectomy. At this point, I was ready to do ANYTHING to stop bleeding. I always got the feeling my doc wasn't really listening to me (female OBGYN). And we never really sat and talked about it--it was always some sort of exam, biopsy, etc and a "we'll talk about it next time" comment. I got a 2nd opinion from another female OBGYN who said yep, go ahead and get the hyst, no big deal. So it was scheduled for 8/6/02. I always felt that if I had enough time, whatever it was that started me bleeding would stop--I truly think it was stress (which I communicated with my doctor on several occasions but clearly she didn't listen). In any case, I had a normal cycle for June and July and called my doc to set up appt. to discuss maybe not doing the hyst and if she really felt it was necessary to give me solid reasons why. I received a voice mail from her saying that she couldn't FATHOM any other questions I might have because we had discussed it EXCESSIVELY. When I got to her office, she had an attitude with me and said that now SHE didn't want to do the procedure because I didn't have confidence in her or the "plan'.
She said I asked too many questions..... I'm definitely not the pain in the neck type of person and I find her actions reprehensible. I simply had taken up too much of her time and I was being dismissed. No compassion at all and I'm not the kind that needs to be coddled either--G-D help someone who does if this woman is treating them!!

Bottom line...
I need a good doctor in the greater NY area. I live in Westchester County about 25 miles from Manhattan.
I will NEVER go back to this doctor again.
Thanks for listening!
JoAnn Gala

Good for you! I'm sure some doctors aren't used to being thrown that many questions at them and find it rather annoying that you dare question their reasoning. You certainly don't need a doctor like that! After all, to her, it's all in a days work and she's onto the next patient.

I say stick to your guns. If there's any doubt whatsoever on having this surgery, you probably should give it more thought.

I can relate to the menhorragia. I have that myself and some months are worse than others but once my period is over..it's over. I don't have month-long cycles and my biopsies always have come back fine.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to make the decision to have the surgery unless there was a true medical reason for it. At this time, my doctor says there is no need to rush into it if I'm not sure. I'm 47 so I'm on the brink of menopause anyway and hoping that I can stick it out for those few days each month.

I live in the Buffalo area so I can't suggest a doctor for you. Perhaps you could check with friends to see who they would recommend.

Good luck to you and it's great to hear a woman who can stick up for herself and her uterus!

Hi, Diane;
Thanks for your kind words. I was pretty floored when my doctor told me straight out that she couldn't fathom how I would have any more questions. Ridiculous.
I'm just hoping that the awful bleeding doesn't start again and if it does, I will have a new doctor and a plan for how to proceed!

Isn't this a great place??
JoAnn

JoAnn,

I am amazed at your story. What was that doctor thinking? It's good to hear that you stuck up for yourself. I wish I could tell you of a good doctor in your area, but I live in Florida. I have been so thankful throughout this time in my life that my doctor's have shown such personal intrest in me. Hang in there and I'm sure you will find the right one. Take care.

((JoAnne)),
I'm glad you didnt go thru with the surgery exp with her as the Surgeon. Asked to many questions?? Isnt that what we have to do now. Be our own Advocates, educate ourselves?? Sounds like she is the one w/o the confidence! We have a right, when undergoing any procedure/surgery, exp something as major as a Hyst, to know what to expect and the reasons why they think this is the best option. Any good Gyn would want to try all other viable options 1st before resorting to a Hysterectomy. Even then they should want you to get more than just one opinion. Good Luck in your search for a new Dr It is wonderful that you stuck to your guns....keep it up

Good for you. I hope that somehow it will turn out that you actually *don't* need a hyst. Wouldn't that be cool? But if you do, I'm glad you will be finding a new doctor.

I can't make any generalizations, and I know lots of women who swear by their female gyns, but my own experience with several female gyns has been that they were condescending with me, dismissive of my symptoms and concerns, and gave me bad information and treatment. Maybe because they put up with their periods OK, they thing we should be able to tough it out too, I dunno.

Anyway, best of luck finding a good doctor, and stay healthy!

It must have been ESP because I was thinking about all my 'sisters' today. I was supposed to have this surgery yesterday, but as you know I cancelled it. Since then, I've gotten my period and the bleeding is pretty bad (started yesterday). I'm hoping to get through this week and have it over with. All my friends have heard my story and have given me their doctors names. So far, two doctors names have come up a number of times, so I will make it a point to contact them.

I am still so PO'd at this original doctor. I want to march in to her office and tell her exactly what I think of her as I pick up my records. But I guess it was a lesson I had to learn.

How are you all doing? I will confess that with the passing of the surgery date and the onset of the period, I wish it was over with sometimes. But who knows what lay around the corner. That's the cool thing about life--you just never know where it will take you!!
Love and hugs and write soon!
JoAnn

Gosh, Joanne ... your doctor sounds awful! So glad to hear that your friends have made recommendations and that you'll be seeing someone new.

I think you made a very smart decision. You need to find a doc who will listen to you. A hyst is major surgery and not something you do unless you feel certain it is the right choice for you.

I feel very lucky to have a found a gyn (male) who was willing to spend time answering all my questions. I thanked him several times for spending so much time with me and his reply was "you need it." It was really that simple. He said that's just the way they run their practice ... if you only need 10 minutes, you get 10. If you need 40 minutes, you get 40 minutes.

Best of luck finding just the right gyn for you. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

Beth

That there are caring doctors out there. One doesn't realize the value of compassion until it's needed. Any doctor can be great until something goes wrong. Then, the cream rises to the top and the others sink. I think this was a lesson well-learned.
Good luck!

Please stay in touch!
JoAnn

And ya know what makes it worse is that your doctors are WOMEN! If anyone could and should understand

Well, at least now with this last period you know things aren't stopping on there own. And the fact that two names from your friends popped up is good.

Oh, when you get your medical records make yourself a copy and keep it at home. And good luck with the self control that you will need in her office.

Best regards JoAnn,