Recovery Time???

Hi everybody. It has been a while since I have been online with you. Only because my surgery date was so far away at the time. I have a little over a month to go now. I am scheduled for the 10th of Sept. A friend of mine has just passed her 6 weeks, but I haven't talked to her about my question, because she is just one person.

My question is, how long is the recovery time for the majority of people. In other words how long before you don't need anyone to help watch the kids or the running around that goes with that. My dh has taken the 4 days off after my surgery then he goes back to work. He says he can take up to 2 weeks but will only do it if I really need the help. My mil is ready willing and able to help but then she leaves for holidays around the middle of the month (I'm not exactly sure when). My girlfriend told me the first week she spent in bed, the second, she was out of bed for an hour or so at a time. I spoke to her in her 4th week and she was still really sore but they were going camping.

HELP. How do I convince my dh that I will need his help. I like the fact tha he thinks I am a strong person but... This is major surgery. I know what it is like because I saw and helped my mother after she gave a kidney to my sister. My mother was a strong person, but she cried like a baby when I found her with no help at all. (she lives in B.C. and I live in Alberta). No matter what I say my dh still thinks I am superwoman. So if you have any answers I would appreaciate any advice you can give. Thanks.

Linda

Please ask your husband to take the 2 weeks off and stay home to take care of the kids, the house, the meals and you! Also get some part time help for atleast 2 weeks after that. More if you can.
This is major surgery. It is not a matter of how strong you are or mind over matter. Your body is about to undergo an invasive, serious procedure with removal of some of your organs. The first few weeks are very critical to your long term and overall recovery. You will need lot's of rest and lot's of down time to allow the dozens of internal stitches to heal and the rest of you to recover.
I don't see how anyone could care for children while recovering without overdoing it. I have heard of women trying to do too much and ending up hemoraging and in the ER after hysterectomy. Just not worth it.
There are different degree's of post op pain that women experience. If you are one that will require alot of pain med's for awhile that will impact your ability to do much else too.
When you read here that 6-8 weeks is needed we are not kidding. And that is just to return to some semblance of normal life. I am 5 months post op and feel great but I can still feel healing going on inside. This is a big deal.
I had an excellent recovery. I had no one I had to take care of and my mom was taking care of me. I had no complications and very little post op pain. But I still needed alot of rest and alot of down time. And I could really tell if I did something those first few weeks that I wasn't supposed to.
Maybe you should let DH spend some time reading on the Post Op board or on the Road Less Travelled.
You only have one chance to heal right so please do what you need to do for yourself and for your family.
Good luck to you.

s Linda, and welcome back!

You'll get lots of information here! The first thing that I recommend is that you print out the FAQ for Family of HysterSisters (click on the Princess at the top of this page, scroll down the page to the menu under "Ladies in Waiting"). There's a lot of good information there.

I didn't see what kind of surgery you are having, but the first two weeks are CRITICAL to your healing! You need to be very careful not to do too much because you may think you're fine (the anesthesia is still in your system). You should receive post op directions from your doctor which will include no lifting over 10 lbs., no driving for 2 weeks (you'll be on pain meds), nothing in the vagina for 4-6 weeks (depends on your doc).

Here's also a list of do's and don't that I stole from Toonces (don't think she'll mind!):

Toonces Do's and Don't's List for Post Op

-Picking up pillows and repositioning them…..allowed
-Turning on dishwasher AFTER SOMEONE ELSE HAS LOADED IT…..allowed
-Changing roll of toilet paper…..allowed
-Flipping on lightswitch…..allowed
-Folding laundry…..allowed
-Taking short, easy walks and gentle stretching…..allowed
-Lifting the remote control…..allowed
-Asking others for help...allowed and encouraged

X – Vacuuming…..NOT ALLOWED
X – Sweeping or Mopping…..NOT ALLOWED
X – Carrying laundry across house to washer…..NOT ALLOWED
X – Lifting, Bending, Reaching, Driving…..NOT ALLOWED
X – Lying around the house all day doing nothing…..NOT ALLOWED (see above)
X - Bending to access oven or empty litterboxes....NOT ALLOWED
X - Going to Wal-Mart for some bargain shopping....NOT RECOMMENDED
X – Pushing a shopping cart….NOT ALLOWED
X – Sitting for prolonged periods of time i.e. at computer….NOT ALLOWED
X – Opening windows, particularly the hard-to-open ones….NOT ALLOWED
X – Making other people’s problems your own…..NOT ALLOWED
X - Picking Tomatoes, Weeding, and other such nonsense...NOT ALLOWED

Speaking from personal experience, I took pain meds the first week along with Motrin, then Motrin alone the second week. I obeyed this list, and yesterday was released with no restrictions.

It's not easy to be good, but it's worth it!

s

Hey Linda, I am two weeks post-op and very independent all day long. My 7 year old carries anything heavy for me. I am no longer on any pain meds, and can drive with no problem. In fact, I have been driving since week 1 1/2. Obviously everyone heals at a different rate, and much depends on any complications which might arise. My husband comes home from work at 6 and cooks, washes dishes, and helps out with any other chores needed. I have overlooked the mess during the week, and on the weekend he does the vacuuming etc. One suggestion which might be helpful: Have your husband begin his days off after your hospital release. You will have plenty of nurses looking after you in the castle, and will be drifting in and out of sleep. It would be a shame for your DH to use of his days sitting there watching you watch Oprah. Good luck, and try to keep from worrying too much. Sometimes I think that our imaginations are our worst enemy.

I would definitely suggest that your husband take the 2 weeks off. My husband took one week off after I was released from the hospital to help, but I didn't have little ones running around. He got things ready for me before he left for work and would call periodically during the day before he returned.

Not only is that a critical time for healing, I was really in a fog the first two weeks. I'm not sure if it was from the anethestic or the pain meds. I'm not sure if that is what your husband wants to hear but then again, he doesn't want you to have to return to the hospital or take longer in healing.

Best of luck to you.

I am 5 weeks postop today and have some anwers for you. I was also worried about how my husband would realize that I needed lots of help post op. So what I did was print the list of do's and don'ts and the FAQ for family members and one or two posts about the subject for my DH and made him read them. This works like a charm and actually almost too well. He is now the strictest pillow policeman out there.
It took awhile before I felt comfortable taking care of the kids. I have two year old twins and three teenagers to help too so that makes a difference. I would say that I was over 3 weeks before I felt like i could take care of the kids even though by that point I felt like crap myself. It is so true that at two weeks you feel great and inevitably do too much and by week 3 or 4 it hits you like a ton of bricks. But now at 5 weeks I am up and doing more and don't have to rest the whole next day when I over do it.
I didn't see how old your kids were but that will make a difference. The older they are the more they can do for themselves. I would definately plan to have help with the kids for a minimum of two weeks. And then play it by ear.

Good luck with your surgery and try to keep busy until then. It will be here before you know it.

's

Pamela

First of all...make it very clear to DH that you are NOT superwoman....no matter how much he may think that he is complimenting you by thinking that. Explain to him that your surgery will entail having half your insides removed...which will require lots of stitching up. Doing too much too soon runs the risk of breaking sticithes..i'm sure he wouldn't want to see you back at the castle for repairs. God forbid!! That would mean even MORE recovery time. The first 2 weeks at least must be dedicated to you doing only what is necessary...that does not include lugging laundry baskets, vaccuuming, lifting anything over 15 lbs, scrubbing, mopping...in other words...those are now HIS chores for a while. You're lucky his mom wants to help. but in all reality there is no reason whyhe can't do everything he possibly can. I would guess that is what you've been doing for years..some men just seem to believe all that is beneath them. Believe me...I am speaking from experience. My DH swore up and down before my surgery that I will get lots of help. Apparently he was speaking for everyone else...because god knows he didn't exert himself. Washed a few dishes once or twice...which i had to wash over again i might add...and carried the laundry down a few times. I thanked God every day for my 2 DD's. ONe is away at college and would come home to help me. I guess what i 'm saying is don't make the same mistake i did. INSIST that he help...or else threaten to hire someone to help.
Good luck to you..in your surgery and your recovery.

Robin
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TAH,BSO for fibroids and heavy bleeding; adenomyosis; severe anemia

I had a TAH/BSO 10 wks ago. I am pretty strong and deal with pain well. I was fine and could have handled being on my own for 8 hr during the day after about day 4 or 5.

You would need to make sure that you have LOTs of prepared meals made up ahead of time and need to let your DH know that he will need to come home from work and do any of the work that needs to be done in the house, because you CAN'T do them for 4 to 6 wks. That means, dishes, laundry, vacumming etc. etc. etc. Have him set you up with a cooler with drinks and ice and snacks, so that all you have to do is get out of bed or off the couch to go to the bathroom.

If he is going to be too tired after working to come home and keep working to get things ready for the next day, you might suggest he take off the full two weeks.

Good luck.

Caren

Hi Linda,

I agree with Shelley and think she has given you some very good advice.

However, I was wondering how old your children are? If they are all of school age, then you may able to get by without your DH having to take 2 full weeks off from work. My reasoning is that if your children are in school, then a good part of the day you won't have to be caring for them. Also, they would be old enough to help out with chores around the house. I DO NOT mean to suggest that you won't need any help, so please don't misunderstand.

It will be a good couple of weeks at the minimum before you will be up to doing any chauffering back and forth. My Dr. wouldn't clear me to drive until 6 weeks post. You will need extra planning to prepare school lunches (if needed), your DH will need to get the kids off to school in the mornings, and arrangements will have to be made for after school if they need rides to places.

If anyone asks if they can do something, graciously accept and ask for meals. My children were teenagers when I had my surgery, but I'm the only cook in the house. We had dinners provided for over a week, and it was such a blessing. Even my coworkers at the time, who were from different parts of the country, called an Olive Garden restaurant near where I live and placed an order that my DH picked up. Plus, with all of the nice meals, there was always leftovers.

Now, if you have very young children, then I agree that your DH may need to take that full 2 weeks off or make other arrangements for the young ones to be watched.

Best wishes and s

The reason for my surgery is a prolapse. My uterus has fallen on top of my bladder and it has fallen. My doctor wants to remove my uterus and use a mesh to hold everything else up. I have hardly any musle control left. I want my ovaries removed as well because I am starting perimenopause and would just as soon get started on the menopause. I have heard both sides of the argument, to keep or not to keep. I just as soon not keep.

I have 2 children, a 3yr old dd and 6yr old ds soon to be 7 Sept. 19th. I am going to get the party arranged and my dh will be the host.

I am going to print off that list you suggested and maybe a few posts as well.

I will let you know how it goes. Thanks again.

Linda