To shy to talk to the DR re:

I wanted to ask for your advice. I am extremely shy about asking my DR about my non- existant libido. I don't even know how to bring up the subject. I take .5mg of estrogene and don't have any problems with it. I've already had my six week check up but was told to wait another 2 weeks before we were intimate. Now what do I say? Do I call and make an appointment just to talk about my lack of desire? I would feel so silly. My DH has been so understanding but it's really disappointing to me! Please pass on some advice. Thanks, Josie

Don't feel silly, and don't feel alone. Talk to your doctor. Some women need a little progesterone supplementation to help with this. Some need progesterone and DHEA to help. Some need time. Was your libido "missing" before your surgery? Mine had been for years. When I talked to my dr about it, she said to give it time after the surgery to see what happened. I supplement with natural progesterone and DHEA, and it is returning--finally! I had just about given up on it. I don't feel like I'm 16 or anything, but a little "tingle" on occasion sure beats the absolute NOTHING I'd had for so long.

Please don't be afraid to talk to your doctor--or perhaps his/her nurse. You have nothing to lose.

Best wishes and I hope your libido comes home soon!!

I too was embarrassed about this. But I finally called the docs office and spoke with a nurse, who assured me that this was very common. She talked with the doctor and they changed my rx from Estrace to Estratest hs...instead of just estrogen it is now estrogen with testosterone(very small dose)...guess what! within several days, I noticed a big difference!!
The moral is...don't be embarrassed, the doctor has heard and seen it all....you are not alone or unusual....all it might take is a phone call.....hugs to you and good luck!

I'm almost 8 weeks & have not had the interest I had before. It does seem like a little testosterone can make a big difference, I have heard that quite a few times & will probably ask my Dr. about that. I'm on Climara 1mg & prog. cream, but it's not doing the trick. Vodka helps & my trusty (external) vibrator is great too.My Dh is concerned & wants to do what he can, but he can't replace the parts that are gone that contributed to the pleasure. I will be sooooo bummed if it never gets any better!! So, we are all in this journey together & that is the beauty of this site!!!Hope we all start having more fun real soon!!

Hi,

Interestingly enough, what works for one woman doesn't work for another. I've got a friend who had the exact same problem, but her issue was too MUCH testosterone! (go figure!)

Don't feel shy about bringing this up with your --- that's why s/he's your doc! Please call and ask about this!

s

Gustogal, thanks for your feedback. I DID call the Dr. & asked her nurse if anyone else ever said that sex wasn't the same without a cervix & she confirmed what I unfortunately already know-it sure isn't!! All you sisters who don't miss your cervix, I envy you.That is my main complaint, more than the hormone thing.I will still try some test., but that won't replace what's gone .

I am about 3 1/2 months post op now, and I still don't have much desire. I never had a strong desire, but I do like to keep my dh satisfied and a little pleasure along the way never hurt either. I was sort of disapointed after my surgery. I guess I was hoping it was the cyst growing for years that make me dream of a warm cuddly housecoat more than my man.

However, I would like to say that sometimes, once we get started, things do warm up considerably! So give it some time. I had to get over the feeling that something was going to get hurt if I let myself go. I am still slightly on guard, watching that my dh doesn't "bump" my incision, or grab somewhere that is still tender. So that cools things a little too.

I am taking 2mg of estrace a day. I have changed to that from Premarin, and even though it is not working the best (still some hot flashes, insomnia etc) I don't want to fool around with it again. I don't really want to take more medication either. I'm going to give it at least a year. At my 1 year check up, I will reconsider, but for now, dh just tries harder! LOL

Thank you all for your thoughts. I'm really glad to know that this is happening to others. I hope that a bit of time will help. If not I just might have to call the doctor. I'll be red faced, but that won't hurt me.

Thanks again for the help. I am so glad that I found this website!

I wish I could think if a generic way to respond to this and at the same time "assure" others that the "changes" brought on by the surgery do not make a difference to most or the majority of women, (cause these sexual excitement or "working parts" usually are not "removed" by the surgery, traumatized or temporyily stunned yes and for sure) and a large number of women, find themselves "able to let go" and enjoy sex more, due to no worries about conception. I can't find the "delicate" or non porno way to describe what occurs to a woman when properly "excited" but I do know sex is ninety percent in the brain and ten percent in "the right buttons, being pushed, stroked or touched and that TIMING is everything. I do know that "libido, and or the post opt abilities to enjoy sex" were my biggest worry regarding my debating the pro's and con's of the surgery. I was just getting to really enjoy sex in the later years of my 25 year marriage when I found I had to have this surgery. I will say this. If you are "shy" about this before or after surgery, then you are probably "shy" about talking to your husband about what "does it for you" or too shy in finding out for yourself what "does the trick". Finding out will help you better "position" yourself for this to occur WITH your husband or bf. Consider two blind people trying to find a needle in a haystack and you have described what REALLY happens to most women as they seek "excitement and enjoyment" with their also "blind" husbands. I say this as a women with much pre married "activities" and as a married women of 25 years with FOUR children. I really didn't know how my own "sex equiptment" worked so how could I possibly relay this to my "large ego", clueless husband? My advice to those still "in the dark" to find a really good book that described EVERY facet of how women are built to HAVE sexual satisfaction. It is a complicated "process" to say the least involving the body and the brain, and unfortunately cannot be WILLED to happen, nor does it happen as "easily as it does in a man". Surgery won't change your ability to communicate this to your husband for the better or worse. YOU have to learn this "info" and somehow manage to convey this to your husband without damaging his ego. This "ego" was the next biggest stepping stone to conqueor, as such "ego" had reared it's head in the past, and he was "aging" himself making all this a bit more difficult to relay THIS LATE IN OUR MARRIAGE. Some men "resent" us telling them ANYTHING and see it all as "putdowns", suprise? Many women do not talk to hubby about this for fear of "hurting his ego" (this can apply to our doctors who are men too, who leave us feeling as if the problem was us, not uneducated about REAL women men) hurting egos is a very real and valid concern as many men just "don't know about the mechanics involved in bringing a woman to her peak", and release and feel insulted or faulted if you TRY and tell them or let it know when they say "how was that dear? Many men do not want, nor can their ego's handle the the TRUTH. IN reality alot of men don't CARE how it was for us or mistakenly assume cause they "did" we "did". Every woman is different making this "knowledge" difficult to obtain for both. Also after this type surgery it is easier to blame it on the surgery rather than a lack of knowledge, and admittedly a SMALL portion of women do have "more difficulty", and some find this goes away sooner or later than others, and for A VERY SMALL few things may actually change forever but not because the necessary "parts" are gone. All I know is that in reality the surgery doesn't remove any necessary to satisfaction body "parts" . When we do "get around" to sex, it is MUCH MUCH better than before. I had previously had a few deep and lasting "wows" prior, and I mistakenly thought this was my cervix being involved. I also was too "touchy" in the area needing "stimulation" NECESSARY to becomming "excited". I realize I am being "vague" here as I cannot bring myself to speak in clinical terms or in crude ones which makes a discussion on this subject "difficult" to say the least. Anyway here are my suggestions 1. Find a really good book on the stages of a womans "excitement" a DETAILED explanition. You will read that the surgery in reality affects NONE of the parts necessary for "sexual enjoyment". (realizing after surgery it takes TIME for you to feel comfortible about ANYTHING sexual as you recover, again each woman is different on this "timing" after surgery aspect. I am talking about outer and inner "sex buttons" EVERY woman has and keeps after surgery. Many women continue to blame "the surgery" as a way to avoid or fear sex, or because sex isn't any good due to "not having the right knowledge" or practice BEFORE or after surgery, and so no wonder the brain and body would rather just sleep, or read a book. In fact I would have never experienced the "wows" I have without first educating myself and embarrassingly a little "plug in" or battery operated Practice and use AFTER we both "figured it out". (you can order this "stuff" over the net, so you don't have to go to the "seedy" part of town to do it. Blue Medina is very professional, pleasant and discrete company on the net). That being said I think MOST women are not even aware of how they operate, and so I found with the help of vibrators and "toys" previous to my surgery by several years, what it was that made me tick and also trained myself to respond quicker. It took me almost forty years to realize that I was my own worst enemy in this respect, and second that my husband has always "assummed" that what worked for him also worked for me. NOT. Of course the hormones, and other "uglies" like post opt pain, and or previously always being "that time of the month", pregnancy and a whole host of stuff in reality has LIMITED the times when we are "ready" to really enjoy this. Look at the surgery as an end to the "interference" of those pre surgery realities, and give it time. In the meantime DO educate yourself, and learn to "let go" and take it like a man does, SELFISHLY at times. Wine, and other things if used wisely can help do away with the "shy's". Hope this helps. Ps Have your hormone levels check correctly to discover if in fact you are missing the right hormonal balance for optimum health and sexual interest.

I had the same problem as you. One problem I had never had until now was low libido. On this wonderful site, someone wrote about a web site called surviving surgical menopause. I read it and did my homework so to speak. It explains in layman terms about each and every HRT. When I went for my 6 week check up
I knew exactly what I felt I needed (especially with the low libido) and I told the doctor. He agreed and ever since, I've been on Estratest. It worked. I now am back to my happy sex life.



Good luck