Need advice on teens and live-in boyfriend

My two teenage daughters and I live with my boyfriend of 8 yrs. Since puberty started it has been so hard! The youngest is now 15 and the oldest 19. My boyfriend is constantly giving "advice" (more like critisim) on how to raise them. He is an only child and has an only child whom he has only seen every other weekend since she was 2. She is now 23. He always says he is trying to help, but it feels like constant critisim. With my TVH date drawing near,(Oct 15) I am about at my wits end! Iknow this man is not easy to get along with, but I love him and he has done so much to help me improve my life. My kid's dad is a real deadbeat who drug me down with him. With David's help I've crawled out of that hole. David is VERY money concious. It drives my kids crazy. He expects alot out of my kids including appreciation. Kids take alot forgranted when it come to their parents. They expect you to do things for them. He doesn't understand this. This morning he left in a huff because we were talking about their dad and how little he does and how they don't see it. He thinks I should point that out and say something to their family. I think it will just open up another can of worms. He is constantly on me about that.
Please help! Need advice!
Trudy

Your instincts are right on!!!!! I was raised by in a split family, and my parents never said a thing about how little my bio father did for me. I figured it out later--when I had kids of my own and realized the sacrifices that parents (bio or not) make. The last thing that we need to teach our children, especially teens, is to judge judge judge.

I also stand firm on the belief that we had children so we could love them, they don't truely know how to love us and appriciate us until they have sufferd some broken hearts and joy themselfs. The love I have for my parents changed drastically when I had children, and has continued to grow since then.

Just between you and I-- weekend parents have it pretty easy, I have a feeling there were a lot of things that went on in your boyfriends childs house that he wasn't exactly privy to.

Can you convince him to let things go for a while? Ask him to ignore some of his issues just until a set date - after your recovery. Explain to him all the crap that goes through our heads during this time and ask if some of the daily stuff can be put on hold. A small period of ignoring things won't change a lifetime. 10 weeks is really nothing in the scheem of things.

I wish you luck, it sounds like you really have a good boyfriend good kids. What blessings!!!

you are in my prayers
breezy

Thanks so much for your reply! It made me feel so much better. The thing I would like most for my family to see is that life is too short! Don't fret the small things! Enjoy life! Their dad made me soo miserable. Now I just want to live life!

Go on and live!!!! Lead by example. It is difficult, but I've learned that we can follow the partners and children or we can lead them. They WILL follow, it is amazing the power we have if we just allow our selfs.
You have an awsome attitude your family will pick it up to.
breezy