DH stay in the room, DH stay in a hotel?

trying to decide which I really want here.

PRO: hospitals have nursing shortages and having him there to do things that take the load of the nurses would be nice. Hospital will provide a cot for DH

PRO: I can send DH out for food, drinks, magazines etc

PRO: DH can keep me company and run interference for me

CON: Dh is a restless sleeper. If a nurse is waking me up every 20 minutes to take my vitals, DH is going to be one grumpy, hard-to-get-along with hubby after a few days.

We live 2.5 hours from the hospital, so it is either the cot or a hotel room. I suppose there is the cell phone if I really need to summon him. Need to decide soon so imput appreciated.

If you don't mind the $ for the hotel room, it would be my vote. You're not going to feel like take out food, carbonated drinks or magazines.

Hubby needs to be there as eyes and ears and of course to hear the doctor and run interference for you. But...he also needs his sleep and can catch 5 or 6 hours in peace, once you are comfortable and once things seem to be under control. You could always call him if needed.

Speaking as the roomy...I would not feel great about my hospital roomate's husband sleeping/snoring on a cot within an ear shot. What if I had to pass gas or was vomiting or needed to pass by him inorder to get to the bathroom? I wouldn't like it.

I vote for a hotel room

with both the gyn and urologist speaking up for me and surgery on a Monday, good chance I will get one.

I vote for the hotel too but it is going to be lonely

Hi there! You are right about interuptions druing the night with nurses coming in and out. If your husband is a light sleeper, he wont get much sleep. My hubby didnt stay with me. Anything I wanted or needed, I could have just buzzed for. Fortunately the first night, you are kinda in the zone, so you really arent aware of what is going on. You will have a cathatur, so there will be no need to get up in the night to use the bathroom. I did fine with out my husband with me. I figured he needed his rest to deal with me after I got home. Of course, your situation is a little different with you not being at home.... I guess I would ask him what he felt more comfortable doing and to let him know that he probably wont get much sleep with all the comotion going on. He can stay probably as late as he wants to at the hospital and then can go to the motel and come back the next morning. You will be taken good care of. My hospital had a nursing shortage too, but I would have never known it. Everyone was wonderful.
Take care and good luck to you!

And I LOVED it. I had some very chatty times during the first night, and was glad to have some company. I was in a private room.

But Moms and Dhs can be different. I'm not sure mine would have been as good a caretaker as my mom. So I might vote for the hotel, too.

But he shouldn't go to the hotel until you're good and asleep (or 11:00, whichever comes first), and he should come back nice and early. Especially since most docs make their rounds between 7:00 and 8:00 am.

How about the first night he sleeps in the hotel and the other night or nights he sleeps at the hospital? My dh stayed overnight the first night, (he slept in the other hospital bed -- I didn't have a roommate) but since I was still on the morphine drip, I wasn't uncomfortable and didn't really need him. I really didn't need him the second night either, come to think of it, but I sure would have liked him to be in the room with me until I went to sleep. However, he needed to come home and check on our daughter.

The second day was when they made me walk and that first time was really hard. He left just after that and I was feeling pretty upset. I would have liked him there for emotional support. It sounds like your husband is going to stay with you in the hospital while you're there, though, so at bedtime you should be fine to have him leave.

Good luck. The waiting is the worst part. I'm 5 weeks post op today and feeling great.

This is s tough call. Don't worry about the nursing shortage. Call the hospital administration and voice your fears and concerns. You are a "paying costomer". Request a private room if possible. Remeber....This is ABOUT YOU. You are getting operated on not DH. I think you can have it all. Get the hotel room for DH. Have him stay with you as long as YOU need him. When you settle in for the night he can go to the hotel room. If you neeed him you can call him. If not he can get maybe 5-8hours of sleep.Its a win win situation. I came out of recovery at 4pm. My DH stayed untill 11pm. He went home then came back at 8am the next morning. I
had a private room. I did not pay extra either BUT I did let the adminstraion know in advance if they gave me the roomate from hell. I would be the patient from hell.My other advantage is I am an RN. I know what is up!!!Good luck. angela

Well I appreciate your dilema.... but I would vote for the hotel... let DH spend as much time as he can with you thru out the day with you but I think you both will need your rest during the night....especially DH as he will be looking after you when you get home. Yu will be on meds and "in and out" thru out the day....he can spend time with you then but it will be nice for both of you to get some rest at night! Good luck...sister.... we are hyster twins as I am having my surgery on oct 28th as well!!! Cheers

I was told at pre op appointment that EVERY room on the women's pavillian of my hospital is a private room (YEA!!!) and that the hospital would be glad to provide a cot or fold out couch for someone to spend the night. I guess the spending the night option is pretty standard for most hospitals. I told the nurse I would much prefer to be alone, and she told me that having seen it done both ways hundreds of times, everybody gets more rest if the DH, friend, whomever leaves late and sleeps somewhere else. That way they can be more rested for the after castle care. Also, if anyone is considering the hotel. I have had family members have to spend extended time in far away hospitals. As this can get pricey, the hospitals had a list of nearby hotels that gave special discount rates to guests with family in the hospital. Be sure to check with the hospital if they have such a relationship with hotels, as I know many do.

Just my thought.......
he's a phone call/snap of the finger away