mom called

I really didnt realize how much I missed my mom untill today, she called to ask about my pre op and when the surgery was, I have had two other surgerys in my life and everytime ive been alone, my family has always lived to far to come and see me, but at least I had friends, this time its different I have know one but my hubby and kids, and the kids drive me nuts, for once I just wish my mom could be near, I know im 42 and I shouldnt need her but I do, its been 3 years sense ive seen her and my hormons are amuk, when everyone is gone I just cry, I have know one local to talk to, I really dont know people at church well enough to talk to them, so other then my phone calls to Texas im friendless here, im a stay at home mom so I dont get out to meet people, im hoping that after my surgery that things will get better I want to get more involved in the motorcyle clubs, and im hoping that one day ill be able to get back on and ride, when my dh and I first got together we where both very active with the bike clubs I was meeting people and everything, but slowly ive pulled away some of the reasons is that I just really didnt feel well, and the other is I have to stay home with the kids, I just cant leave all four of them here alone, they will kill each other, I think what im needing is to go see my mom after im better but I dont get along with my father he hurt me years ago and I just cant forgive him, so thats what is stopping me, I cant be in the same house with him, I would love it if my mom would come here but I know that will never happen she is getting older and is having to take care of her mom, and health reasons she just would never do it, so I just dont know how its going to work, well im sorry for rambling Im just sad and a little nervouse, and needed to talk to someone, thanks for being here.

Bev

Hiya Bev,

Sorry you are feeling this way

First please know that you are not alone as long as you have this website we will always be there for you.

It sounds like you have made all the decisions for your mom why she wont come , but have you asked her? She might even enjoy the change and enjoy taking care of her baby for awile instead of her mom. I don't know that this is ture but you will never know what her answer truely is unless you ask the question. If she says no she can't make it then you have lost nothing,if you really want her to be there for you ( if you can swing it ) maybe sweeten the pot by offering to pay for her ticket. Then you know you will just get her and not Dad. Moms like to be needed by there kids no matter how old we are.

I would ask her ,you might be surprised by her answer.

like I said this is just my input but in some small way I hope it helps.
If you need anything just give us a chat.

Donna

Bev,

I don't think there's anything wrong with you wanting your mother at any age. My mother and I have a strained relationship at best yet in times of crisis she's always the one I turn to. She flew down to Florida for both of my surgeries and I was happy to have her.

Have you asked your mother to come for the surgery? I realize she has responsibilities to her own mother but you never know, she might really want to be with you. It certainly wouldn't hurt to ask.

I hope everything works out and here's a big for you.

Bev, I would ask her, because if my Mom were alive I know she would want to be there for me. I can understand how you feel because I've been thinking about my Mom lately and wishing she were here to talk to . There is something about a Mother's hug. I really wish I could have one. Talk to her and maybe you can work something out.

's to all of you...

I lost my Mom and best friend to cancer almost 2 years ago (Dec. 6th 2000)..., and she would always remind me to have my "female" problems taken care of and knew that one day I was faceing a hysterectomy... I am soon to be 41 years old and I sure "wanted my Mommy" on Oct. 1st and for the days after! I don't care how old we are there is nothing that can replace a mothers love for her children and the compfort they give... It was weird, on Oct. 1st. I prayed and asked if Mom could "come with me", actually somehow I convinced myself that she was. Prior to Oct. 1st I was a true LIW, driving those that love me crazy with my fears and concerns. The morning of Oct. 1st I knew what I had to do and did it with a smile, somehow knowing that I was going to be alright and I didn't have that "alone" feeling at all... Mom was with me all the way, I could feel her...
If you haven't already..., go and call your mother and ask if she can some and be with you..., if she can't I am sure she will be with you in thought. About your Dad..., I have no idea (and maybe no business) what he did to hurt you, but maybe you need to talk to him. Confront him with your feelings because with the hurt your feeling, it wouldn't hurt so much if you still didn't feel love. Maybe threw your recovery time, you can all "heal" as a family. Enough said... "Good Luck" to you sweetie... Let us know how you are and if Mom can come to you..., we will throw a little cyber party with and