Supporting my sister

One of my oldest and dearest friends is going to have a hysterectomy in mid-January. She's had several operations to remove fibroid tumors in the hopes of staving this off. She's 38, never been married, but still hoping and looking. She's said several times that she wanted this surgery because she's tired of the other ones. She's said several times that she's old enough now to have really given up on having kids anyway. She's said several times that it will be a relief. I hear what she's said; I also hear the softening in her voice when she says it.

I want to do something. I don't know what -- a small get together of the women who are the closest to her? I just don't think we should leave this passage unmarked. Does anyone know of anyone else who has done something like this? For those of you who have undergone the surgery -- would this be a good thing or a terrible thing, for you? I know each woman is different, each situation unique. But I'm reaching here. Thank you for sharing with me.

Boy... It depends...

First, it's really good of you to think of doing something like that for her.

IMHO, you should ask her what she'd like. I never wanted kids, never questioned my surgery (thank goodness, finally!), and had a post-op party and "bonfire" with some local Hyster Sisters. I was happy and relieved to finally put my troubles behind me. Some women are mortified at the idea of even discussing their surgery, and heartbroken about not having children. Throwing a bonfire party for them would be a bad move.

Ask her - maybe she'll even come up with an idea (or some guests) that you hadn't thought of. And at the least, even if she doesn't want to do anything, she'll be touched that you thought of her, and glad that you asked.

One idea - if she doesn't have any post-hyst roll models, see if you can find her some. There's nothing like seeing happy, healthy women, enjoying their post-hyst lives, to reassure one that this can be a new beginning.

You could also get her a small gift to mark the occasion - something artistic, or maybe even a princess crown for her to wear at the "castle", so she'll feel especially special.

She's lucky to have such a good friend!

I would like to suggest that you first read some of the posts in our Aching Hearts forum. http://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/for...p?s=&forumid=8

Here you will find many woman of all ages that have never had children. Most try to hide their real pain from those around them and this forum gives them a place to voice their deepest feelings. You said you heard a "softening" in her voice. This may be that pain she is not giving a voice. This surgery, although provides some major health benifits, also brings emotional issues to the surface. I wouldn't spring a party on her. The best thing you can all do is be there for her pre and post hyst. She will need her home cleaned, shopping done, and food prepared. Most importantly , she is going to need your unending friendship.
I love your heart felt approach to wanting to help. You are a good friend. Have you visited the Hyster Sisters store? There is a Princess Package there that is awesome! I think all of would agree it makes a great gift. You might also encourage her to register here. The support here is unending. We love to give 's. Thankyou for taking care of your friend. Woman helping woman is one of our greatest attributes!

Thanks so much for your insight. I really appreciate it.

I agree -- asking is smart. Thanks so much for your help!

What a wonderful friend. No matter how little or how much she may be dreading this surgery, the fact is she is having it.
When I was having my surgery my husband brought me pre-surgery gifts.
He brought...
very loose warm nighties because I was having the surgery in the winter and I needed something loose and comfy for around the house.
Books. Lots of them.
New slippers.
He also...
stocked up the freezer with light cuisine frozen lunches
brought me videos during recovery
brought my sister over from England to keep me company one of the weeks

You could probably do some of the above and the thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Make sure she has the gasx and the stool softener too. She is going to need your help.
Pam

Ok, ok, a gift basket! I like that! Thank you so much!

I would go with encouraging her to register at HysterSisters! I have given the link to a good friend of mine who is having an LAVH/BSO & Bladder Tack done in December. Told her how supportive this site is and that there is a wealth of information here to answer questions and support her along her journey. She also gets great info from her Dad whom is a

You are a great friend for wanting to help and support your friend as she makes the transition from being a to status.

We can always count on our sisters!

s
Amy

I'm definitely going to send her here. You're one incredible group of women -- she'll fit right in!