I am soooo MAD

Dear Sisters,

Most of my post op pain pain has been on my left side but I've started having some on right side now also. I've mentioned it to a few ppl but am a little shy about complaining about it too much to the docs because they already think I'm neurotic and complaining too much. But, when I read my record last night, I found out that I have 2 lymphacysts instead of just one! There is one on my right side also that no one bothered to mention to me. The record also said that endometriosis was found. Could that be part of my ongoing pain also?? I still have my ovaries. That's just the beginning of what I read that made me really angry!

As I sat and read the reports, all I could do was cry. I'm in complete shock and disbelief...if I had known then what I know now, everything might be different. The hardest part for me of this whole hysterectomy experience was the loss of my ability to have babies. We had just started trying for #2 when I was diagnosed with the cancer and I desperately wanted another baby. I thought I had no choice but to have the surgery but that might not be the case. I read in my records that the second biopsy I had done just prior to my surgery showed NO cancer!! It was completely negative!! NO ONE EVER TOLD ME THAT! I don't remember ever asking for the results of that because I assumed it showed cancer just like everything else. If I had known that, I may have made a different choice. The pathology report from my hysterectomy did show residual adenocarcinoma in situ but no invasive cancer. To me, that means that maybe I could have waited. Yes, I would have had to have the surgery, but maybe I could have had a baby first??? I know...it does me NO good to sit and ponder the what if's because I can not change what is. But I am having a hard time not wondering and second guessing everything now. I was in such a state of shock and numbness during the time that I had surgery that I know I wasn't thinking straight. Everyone just pushed me toward the operating room but I never really had time or a chance to really think about it or explore other options. Everyone made me believe that it was a life or death decision that had to be made right away.

My husband keeps telling me to just get over it because I can't change it now. He's right....all the worrying in the world isn't going to change it now but how am I supposed to just "get over it" when my heart has been shredded into a million pieces???

wow sweetie i don't blame you at all i would be very anger as well. I found things as well on my path report that was not told to me things that i feel i should have been told. I'm just glad i found a new doctor when i did. take care sweetie warm and gentle hugs to you