Finally coming to terms

Hello: I'm still fairly new here but I've been coming here every day for the last 3 or 4 days. I've finally come to terms with why I waited so long to come to the decision to have a partial hysterectomy. I believe it to be because I connect my uterus with my femininity and if I have it removed, I'll lose part of my femininity. Does that sound stupid?

Also, I've heard such horor stories from women who've had such a bad experience after having a hysterectomy. Sometimes after hearing about the not so pleasant experiences then I think well maybe this pain is not so bad compared to what a lot of women go through. I know that their experiences doesn't have to be my experience but those are some of the things that go through my mind.

I've thought on this for a long, long time.

Hi there!!
Just wanted to say hello and welcome you to the most wonderful website on Earth. I found this a while before I had surgery and it was a lifesaver...I have made some wonderful friends all over the US....and all the ladies here are so supportive and comforting...Each time I had a question or problem or just needed to vent, I posted and got lots of replies and help.....
As for not feeling feminine after surgery...think about not having to worry about spotting, bleeding or having a period...ever....you can wear what you like and have sex without planning it around your period....go on vacation without pads and tampons...my last vacation was my first trip to Myrtle Beach, SC.....armed with super maxi pads and super plus tampons....I was flooding and clotting like crazy...I became allergic to my menstral flow and was burning from it....I could not get to the OR fast enough.....Believe me when we all say the waiting is the hardest...I knew in June that I needed surgery and waited until November.....
You will feel so much better after your recovery....Good luck and email me some time.....

Lilly

You're in the right place to express your concerns, many have shared the same feelings as you , and no one should even consider them 'stupid'.
I'm only 6 weeks out and the lack of the 2 periods I would have had still amazes me and I am looking forward to a much better quality of life. I have no horror stories to share, pretty much straight forward recovery so far (fingers crossed)

I go along with Lilly - you could see this as an opportunity to be, in the longer term, a much stronger woman, still very bit as feminine as you were before, no longer weighed down by the nightmare known as periods...and that is just a start.

Keep reading the forums - I, like many others, practically lived here pre-op!

Best wishes

Gill

Hi

Welcome to the family!! Glad you found us!!

One thing to keep in mind, not every sister who has her hyst is in dire pain afterwards. Yes, we all have some pain, that vairies depending on what you had done, but that is 'short term'. Its all part of the healing process. What makes this pain different than your period is that you know this one is eventually going to go away. Most sisters who had a relatively 'easy, pain free' recovery do not come back and post as much after their surgery. I have noticed that myself while searching these boards. My own recovery so far, I'm 6 weeks post, has been wonderful. I have missed two periods (and I constantly smile about that!) have had no infections, no major pains, etc. I also followed my Princess Rules. (Some of the pillow police on this site move pretty fast. Gotta watch out for them!!)

As for being less of a woman? Well, I understand what you are thinking, but I don't actually agree with it. Why? Because of the freedom this surgery has given me. I can wear what I want, I don't have to schedule intimate time with my DH, no pain, cramps, just general feeling of 'yukky'. I can dress to feel good about myself, instead of getting dressed thinking, wear dark clothes, I'm bloated, wear a baggy top, etc. I remember reading a post on this while I was still a LIW. One of the sisters made a statement, that loosing the uterus does not make you any less a woman, just like loosing a hand/arm, does not make you any less a person. Putting that into perspective...she was right. I feel more of a woman now than I have in years.

Best of luck to you with everything! keep posting here. We are here for you for whatever you need!