One step forward, two steps back...

Hi Gals - just needed to share this rollercoaster I'm (we're??) on - One day I feel ready to face my TAH BSO/vertical incision, and then wake up that night with unbelievable anxiety/questions/fear.The I do more research, talk to more people and am reaffirmed that this is the best solution to my solid septated ovarian mass and uterine hyperplasia w/atypia problem... feel confident and then the anxiety starts all over again... Think it would be easier if I had been having problems before, but this is all so sudden that I'm reeling... and can't seem to stay focused on the positive benefits (like if it is cancer, then it is very early and treatable) and instead keep thinking about how angry I'm going to be (instead of thankful) if it turns out ok.
Intellectually I know that this is the best,safest way but can't seem to keep my emotions on that path. Thanks for letting me vent and hugs to you all. This site is allowing me to keep what little sanity I have left -- plus saves DH from hearing the same things 20 times a day - thanks to you all, I only repreat the same issue maybe 10 times! So glad you're all here!

It is quite a roller coaster ride, isn't it. The waiting is the worst part of all, because you have too much time to think, too much time for all of the "what if's" and "should I's". But just hang in there, you'll soon be on the "better" side.

Best wishes and lots of s and prayers,

Lisa

Hi , oh yes , I remember that emotional roller coaster ride. Waiting is sooo hard, it gives us time to worry and anticipate the worse! Like you, I had not been having a lot of problems - went for a routine pap and it came back abnormal. I had precancer, my pathology came back benign and I felt enormous relief! I did not feel anger , just joy about being cancer free.Please do try to think on the positive side , I think that helps. Come here as often as you like, we're always here for you!
s