Starting to freak out now (surgery on 1/22) - long

I was dealing pretty well until the last couple of days. Now I'm having trouble sleeping, concentrating at work (which I really need to do so I can be off for so long guilt-free), and I find that my surgery/recovery is the ONLY thing on my mind.

Not only that, but I'm starting to wonder why I'm having it at all. (You know, "Gee, it hasn't been THAT bad!") I'm not in constant pain, just during PMS and my actual periods. I'll be 40 next month and my periods have gotten much more erratic and very painful the first couple of days. The bleeding has become so heavy that I can't go to work the first day because I'm soaking through tampons and pads so quickly I would never make it to the restroom. I was also passing pretty large clots. But compared to what so many of my Hyster Sisters have gone/are going through, I feel like a cry-baby and not even deserving of a hysterectomy.

My OB/GYN diagnosed me with fibroids, cysts in addition to endometriosis AND/OR adenomyosis (sp). The HMO (Healthnet, if anyone wants to know) vetoed his initial request for hysterectomy and said I should take hormones. Which I did - for 3 days before I started bleeding again. Dr. said stop taking them immediately and come in. So he did a uterine biopsy (negative, thank goodness) and submitted another request.

For almost 5 weeks after surgery ***GRAPHIC GROSSNESS TO FOLLOW***I bled. But not normally. Small amounts of that brownish stuff that I used to get at the very end of my periods. Then 2 non-consecutive days of "regular" bleeding. During this whole time I had HORRIBLE mood swings (ready to kill DH just for breathing in the same room), no sex drive, and food cravings I could NOT ignore. My fear: that after surgery I will feel like that all the time!

Thanks for letting me vent, and thank you to everyone who's advice I've been reading voraciosly (sp?) for days!!!

Can anyone tell me if the meds will help me with the pain (I'm terrified of the pain!)? And why can't we wear makeup the day of surgery (does that mean ANY?) - I'm very pale and look like I should be in "Night of the Living Dead" unless I have a little blush and mascara.

Chris

Hi Chris! I can tell you that I felt exactly as you've described in your first 2 paragraphs - the last week before surgery I think most ladies start thinking 'do I really want to do this', and can't concentrate on anything else. I couldn't keep still - had to clean house from top to bottom, tidy cupboards etc!!!.... and totally lost my appetite. Dont worry, your date will soon be here and you'll be so glad you had it done.
Makeup must be left off so drs can check your colour is good, (no nail varnish as they check colour there, too).
The pain afterwards will be well-controlled, and if you need more relief you just ask. The staff want you to be comfortable. Be prepared for some gas pains once you begin eating - short walks inside or out help with these, as does peppermint tea and other things the nurses have. They only lasted 48 hours with me, sometimes can last longer.
I know it's almost impossible but try to relax, pamper yourself this week; your feelings couldn't be more normal.

Love and best wishes
Lizzie

Hi Chris,

Just wanted to let you know, my surgery is the same day as yours so I'm right there with ya.


I have not been in constant pain either. I have a dermoid and a fibroid. I only have really heavy periods which were being kept under control with bcp. My periods haven't been painful either. Still there is something wrong that needs to be taken care of. You are not a crybaby, and the doctor feels you need surgery, so hang in there.

I have been off the pill since Friday and now the cramps and backache are getting nasty. I am also spotting, but the doc said to expect that. I feel like I've got a really bad period, but I'm not bleeding heavy, thank goodness! I want to try to avoid taking anything since surgery is only about a week away. Getting up and moving around is helping. I am also keeping busy with appointments, visiting friends and last minute shopping. I go for my pre-op tests on Thurs.

Hang in there!
Lynn

Hi Chris ~

I too am having surgery on Jan. 22...a TAH/BSO plus an Incisional Hernia repair ( from having my girls C-Section) done at the same time. Yesterday I caught myself saying "What are you doing this for, it hasn't been all that bad".. Then I looked into my eyes in the mirror and said "Oh yes it has". That's why I went into the Dr. after 21 years of sidestepping health issues....I have had a total
lack of confidence in physicians since the birth of my last child.

I had an endometrial biopsy that showed pre-cancerous abnormal cells OR the beginnings of cancer. I don't have an option, I have to do this.

I was/am bleeding just as bad as you were/are, and would feel as though I was trapped in the house ~ irregular periods also,
never knowing when they were gonna hit...and the clotting, good grief, let's not get started there...what a mess.

I think that if we want our "quality of life back" we need to do this for ourselves. Yes it's darn scary. Yes it's gonna hurt. Yes we have to trust doctors and nurses and lab techs and pathologists.
But we're strong women and we can do anything.

If you need to talk, I'm here...and that goes for anyone else out there. Take good care Chris and best of luck to both of us!


xxx ~ Bookie ~ xxx

Hi!

Just wanted to let you know I totally understand what you are going through. I am actually scheduled for a LAVH/BSO + cervix on Jan. 21/03. I am terrified. Each day is getting worse, I am having anxiety attacks, have lost my appetite and getting a lot of headaches.

My emotions and moods are out of control. I can be fine one moment and bawling the next.

My house is spotless and I have absolutely no energy left to do any cleaning.

I am working more hours as well, to get as much work done as possible, so I don't feel guilty being off. I am only part-time but have been putting in full time hours. I have two little ones, and I feel terrible and guilty having to put my dh and children through this to. I hate having to get help from people and turning everyone else's life upside down.

This site has helped me so much. I do keep trying to think positively and I try to think of how good I will feel after this surgery.

Good luck with your surgery and if you ever need to vent, give me an e-mail.

Good luck!

Ladies in waiting. I am the biggest anxiety sniveling baby on earth, to begin with

I just had my surgery on January 9th so things are fresh in my mind (and on the bod).

First, it is so normal to be going thru these thoughts - I felt better by reading as much hyster sisters as I could, whenever I could, in the weeks leading up to surgery and then doing what I they said.

Made a gift basket for nurses
- this was soooo therapeutic somehow. Spoke to friends and family which meant that they supported me and called and sent food and helped just by being around.
I made lists of questions for doc. I especially found great comfort in reading the punctured princess stories. I got loads of pillows, back scratcher, eye cover, etc. setting up was kind of fun.

Once you get to the part where you are being prepped for surgery, you have made it! The relief when you come to and realize that you have done it. You are done..... it will knock your socks of (which is cool since they let me wear socks during surgery).


I am so glad I did this now. It is so worth it. Try to take care of yourself NOW. You are already a punctured princess. God bless all!

Ugh, that waiting is sometimes unbearable.. But it will all be worth it !! I did not have many symptoms with my large fibroid & ovarian cyst. Periods just starting to get funny, along with PMS I had never had before. I could not believe I was a canidate for a hysterectomy. But, boy am I glad I did. Along with the above mentioned they found endo starting on everything. Now I can tell I didn't feel so great before, I had just become used to it !!
My surgery was a breeze, I did wear some makeup- there was no way I was leaving the house without any on!! No one said anything about it. You do have to leave the nail polish off.
My pain was so minimal, I call it mild discomfort, but if you do start to feel any, they give you meds immead. Take good care of yourselves these last few days ( eating right and getting exercise) and stay positive!! You are going thru the worst part right now. Just make it to the hospital and your home free !!!
All the best to you.... Becky

I am also scheduled for abdominal surgery on 1-22-03. I know what you mean about starting to wonder why I am having this. I have a fibroid tumor on my uterus and possible endometriosis. I am 35 years old. I have no plans to have any more children. Mine are almost grown 17 and 14. DH had a vasectomy 3 years ago so no thoughts of ever having anymore children. I do hurt pretty bad the first 2 days of my periods and my periods are starting to last longer. I do hurt a certain times each month but it's not severe pain. Ovarian cancer runs real strong on both sides of my family so I guess I am trying to look at this as a cure before something happens. Good luck to you my Hyster Sister. DH