Sex life has changed for the worse.

I had a TAH on July 31 for preventative reasons. I had a sister die of breast cancer at the age of 42, another sister die at the age of 46 with ovarian cancer and my mother also had breast cancer. After having elevated CA125 tests and a mass on my right ovary, it was decided to do a TAH removing everything.

I have recovered with no problems except for my sex life. My DH and I had a wonderful very active sex life before the TAH and since that time I could care less if we have sex or not. And my DH says that it feels different -- there are no vaginal walls. Before I go to my doctor, I wanted to know if any else had these problems. I am only 53 years old and we both miss the great sex that we used to have.

Before surgery the doctor said that AFTER it everything would have been the very same. But I feel it is not.
it is close to three months now, I feel pain an what it is worse I do not feel plausure at all.
I reported to the Doctor and he said I should go on trying as it would be better with the passing of the time. He assured me that it was partly just a psychological problem
I'm tring but I feel pain anyway at the end I just feel the need of crying...

This could be a result of the sudden hormonal withdrawal after the TAH BSO. I presume you are not taking HRT because of the family history that caused you to need the operation? It might be worth visiting the no-hormone desert section of this site, where other sisters might have suggestions or ways around this issue.

Good luck,

Dear Newgma,

I'm sorry for what you're going through. You are not on any kind of HRT or ERT? AS the other person suggested, that could make a difference (estrogen and/or testosterone, perhaps even just applied locally as a cream or gel)? It sounds as if you're saying you have no desire, which is likely hormonal, but I'm a little puzzled by the vaginal walls comment. You had no repair work done in addition to the hysterectomy? Maybe an estrogen or testosterone cream would help there too, but another possible would be to exercise your pelvic floor muscles and learn to contract your vagina. Kegels are good, and there is also biofeedback therapy to help you learn to improve muscle tone. You should ask your doctor about whether something like this might help you.

don't settle for the status quo! If your gyn can't help you, maybe you have a GP you can see?

I hope you can see some improvement!