18 reasons why I regret the surgery so tired.

This may seem more like a vent to you and I don't want any LIW to take it the wrong way either. This counts for me only and I am sure there is others out there that are maybe in my boots now or have been. I keep saying theres got to be a light at the end of the tunnel but my body just dosn't let me feel like it any more. For those of you that have gone threw it and and got to the light; just answer the question. When? :cry:

Reasons Why I regret this surgery:

1. Never ending pain
2. Constant sick feeling
3. Never ending tiredness
4. The lack that I will ever feel normal again
5. Feeling that I never want to eat
6. A fever whenever I try and do something
7. Infections
8. Hematoma
9. Looking like a constant ghost
10. Lack of bowel functions
11. A bladder that takes forever to empty
12. Medications: Painkillers, Anitbiotics, Stool softeners, Laxitives, Suppositives, Fleet enams and Creams
13. Never ending tests
14. Weakness
15. Being a princess who followed all the rules eat, drink, sleep and be pampered and it got me no further.
16. The lack of sex drive
17. Puking
18. Hospital

The Good that came out of this:
1. No periods
2. THe stronger bond that DH and I developed. We had to considering what he has had to do. He admistered the fleets.
3. I admit the pampering is nice.

Its 7 1/2 weeks for me now and I am getting depressed. It seems I am developing a bond with my gyn and his secretary and family doc in the last couple of weeks. I am tired of the bad news and I am ready for some good news now. Before the surgery I was pretty sick and I had such high hopes that this surgery would correct things. Esspecially when I spoke to people and they would say things like " its like having a new motor put in" or "its like starting a new life" well my life hasn't been any better. I don't think I ever want to hear those words again. It hurts so much when friends look at me and compare me and say well so and so was up and running at 4 to 6 weeks. It kills me when I read the posts that the sisters that were in my castle time are all getting their all clear and I am here stuck. Now I have the added fear that if I go back to my boss next week and say sorry I'm not cleared that I may not have a job. I just don't know how much more I can take both mentally and phycially. Sorry for venting or as some would say a self pity party but I had to get it all out. Just so fed up and tired.

Denise

Hi, I'm so sorry that you are having such a bad time of it....I'm having a TAH/LSO possible bowel resection and rectocele repair on March 12th and after reading your post I have to say I'm even more worried now.
I'm 45 and I realize this isn't going to be easy but I hope to recover fairly well and fairly quickly without complications along the way.
I know the closer my date gets the more I'll feel like running away from this. There is just to much to worry about and knowing that it will only get worse before it gets better...if it gets better - is very difficult to cope with.
Oh well.... I’m in this for the long haul so I better get used to it. I sure hope that you see the light at the end of the tunnel very soon and you start to feel good.
((((hugs)))))) This site is for everyone and sharing the good with the bad makes us understanding of what's ahead and if we are unfortunate to have complications.....we know that we aren't alone and have somewhere to turn.
Take care....I'll be praying for you.
Trish

Denise,

Has your doctor given you an explanation for the bad results you're feeling? Is there a particular thought he may be focusing on? Is it the infections that are slowing your recovery down? Did you have pre-existing situations that may be making your healing take a little longer?

I know I have alot of questions, but I'm just worried about you - What is your doctor planning to do to help you through this?

Please remember that everyone here supports you and we're always here for you. Maybe you'd enjoy chatting where you can receive support in real time?

So many s for you, Denise......Stay as strong as you can

HollyG

Denise, I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. Has your doctor diagnosed what the problem is? What was the reason that you had surgery? Do you have endo? Do you have any other health conditions? Was there an error in surgery that affected your bowels?

I am so sorry to hear you are having such a rough time of it. When I reread your post, you mentioned that you were a very sick Princess-to-be before your surgery. Could it be that your pre-existing problems could have slowed down your recovery?

I'd be interested to hear what your physicians thoughts are to help you get on the road (quickly) to being a healed Princess. As I am sure you know, in your head if not your heart right now, we each heal at different rates. At another website I recently saw this quote with regard to surgery: "Surgery is an event, recovery is a process". In the scheme of things, you are still pretty early in that process.

Best of luck to you as you continue to work with your physicians to solve the riddles which puzzle all of you. Give thanks for the supportive DH. He's a blessing (but you already knew that.) Keep us informed. Vent anytime.

Lynn

Hi tish and holly:

I am now suffering from a hematoma. that seems to have been there a while. I was complaining for a good while that I wasn't well and was been listened too. My bowel didn't work right from the day of the surgery and got put off as just your bowel is a sleep and it will wake up. I took sick sept 7 and had to have an exploritory lap Oct 28 and started having problems after that. Infections and incision busting open. I was never really right after that. I was basically in bed after that family doc and I had to fight tooth and nail to get my surgery date then. It was all the er visits and finally not being able to move from pain that got me the date. The gyn knew I needed the surgery but just getting the date quickly was the problem. Tish i tended not to visit this side of the site until after my surgery for obvious reasons. I don't want to scare any one. Most women have the surgery with flying colors. I am just the one of the few that am having problems. Read the KUdos stories they are gret support. Good luck on your surgery.

Denise

I am pre-op and I don't think what you are saying will scare anyone. We all need to know the good and bad. That is why we all came here. Vent if you need to vent. We are not fair weather sisters....we are here to listen. Feel better soon.

Hi Denise. So sorry about what you're going through. I think that some people just take longer to heal. My sister had her surgery on Jan.7th and had one complication after another also. She also till today still says she doesn't know if the surgery was worth the endless bleeding, anemia etc. Her incision also burst open. Also ongoing fever and excruciating doubled over gas pain. She is just starting to feel 80% she said. So Please give it time. I know it's completely different but after my 2 C sections it took me until the 4 month mark to start feeling normal. It can only get better.. GOOD LUCK to YOU SWEETIE

Denise I am so sorry that you have been going through all of this. And yes, you've been having alot of problems with the fever and hematoma going on. And I am sure you are tired of Dr's and hospitals and just feeling lousey. I have no advice, but lotsa ~ I wish that I could do more. I had a heck of a time after one of my previous surgeries recovering and kept having one problem after another until I never thought I'd be out of my house, let alone my bed, again. But I did and now it is just a faint blur. NOT to make light of your problems. You have been through alot, when we think going in for this sugery is going to take care of everything and we'll feel great. Just the initial recovery from a hysterectomy is 6-8 weeks, and then when there are problems it takes longer. But hopefully now that you found out what is causing the problems, it'll get taken care of and you'll be feeling normal again. You are in my prayers.
Have you ever looked through The Road Less Traveled boards? There are women there that have had post op problems. Maybe one has gone through the same as you and might be able to give you some understanding of what you are going through along with some light at the end of the tunnel.
You really are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you start to feel better very, very soon. And each day will get better.

((Denise)),
Please dont feel reluctant to post your feelings about this surgery, as a previous poster said- others need to know all the possibilities this surgery can bring on. I've had a rough recovery, I am 3 yrs post. It can take up to a full year to fully recover..we are all different, & recovery times will be too It will take time ((Denise)), you just had a major surgery, with lots of healing that will continue for months...
I know how hard it is to read of others feeling soo much better when your not As ((Kim)) suggested pls visit us on The Road Less Traveled. We understand dealing with pain, complications & the frustrations it can sometimes bring on Hope to see you there
(((hugs)))