Depression :(

Lately I have been sooooo tired. I have been falling asleep on the couch everyday by noon. All I have to do is stop and sit down for a minute and I'm out. My sister called me on Sunday(woke me up from a nap) and she asked me if I'm depressed because everytime she calls me, I'm tired. I said no because for one, I was too tired to even think about anything and for two, she caught me off gaurd. Then, the next day, my husband sat me down and told me he was thinking about me alot and that he thinks I am depressed. I have been thinking the same thing alot lately too.

A little background....I spent my whole childhood depressed just because of the way things were when I grew up(long story). I hit rock bottom in my late teens and I am happy to say that I survived. I married my husband when I was 20 and that was the first time ever that I felt unconditional love. My husband was the best thing to happen to me. Then I spent a few years in my 20's "recovering" from a lifetime of sadness. I started having babies at age 24 and having them only helped me even more. Now here I am at age 31, more confident than ever, I love my life, I love my family, but I feel depressed. It's all because of all my medical problems....interstitial cystitis and the 4 different meds I have take everyday for it.....cyclical pelvic pain that no one can tell me why I have it(maybe endo, maybe not), esophogeal problems. My eating has always been out of control. I used to have an eating disorder and I truly believe you can never fully recover from an eating disorder. My esophogeal problems are atleast keeping me from eating too much right now. I am not that much over weight...about 7 pounds over my maimum for my height, but I really want to get it under control and lose 15 pounds, I want to stop yo-yoing....up and down, up and down.

It's just so many things that are getting me down, BUT I am not going to let this depression get the best of me like it did so many years ago. I have so much in life to be thankful for and so much to look forward too. Besides my great family and a great career, I am excited to say I am going back to school and I'm changing careers....I'm going to become a nurse

So, there are so many great things going on in my life, but at the same time there's these other things that are trying to bring me down.

I just need a good cry and then I will go on with my day....because I have no choice! Someday, I have hopes that I will be pain free and healthy and my hormones won't be so wacky! But for now, I just need a shoulder to cry on

Thanks!

hey i know all about what you are talking about.I am going through depression also.I finally called my and he made me an appiontment to go see someone.Hang in there,brighter days are ahead.I also struggle to make myself get out of the bed.My fiance thinks he has done something wrong,but its me.Im still in shock of losing all my female parts.But hopefully talking to someone and alot of praying will get us on the road to happiness again......



Tj

Pasdechat, you've got a plan! With all you've been through it would be so easy to just wallow in pity, which is good to do for a little bit, but then we must get up and tackle life! Sounds like you know what you want and I think you're spunky enough to get it. Nurses are some of my favorite people. It takes special people to do the job right and you've got the compassion. Good luck with your new chosen career!

Hi Pasdechat,
I can so relate to how you are feeling! I am constantly tired-
hardly sleep at night. On weekends, when I'm done with household chores, I curl up on my love seat-pull an afghan over me/and take a 2-3 hour nap. That's the only way I can make it through the day. As for depression-Boy can I relate to that!
I've struggled with major depression and panic disorder for 4 years. I'm on meds for both conditions. They do help me,but
because I'm not oN HRT-my hormones are Whacko! So, I just
do the best I can!!! Congratulations on your decision to go back to school,and become a nurse. What a positive step!!! Good Luck
to you/and we have to hang in there.

Tina

Hi!

Oh, this depression stuff is something, isn't it?

Been there, done that!

I can tell you're trying to have a positive attitude, and that will help. You didn't say if you're on any antidepressants. Maybe you should call your about this if you haven't already done so.

Don't let the depression go on too long. Okay?

s

Michelle

Hi pasdechat,

I can also relate to what you said. And it does sound like you've got a plan that is working for you.

I wanted to tell you what I do that helps me now (after many years of off and on intense therapy and lots of 'personal growth'). For the most part I'm pretty OK. The moments of sadness pass - I'm not mired in it anymore. However, sometimes things happen that trigger off old feelings or give me an opportunity to sort something else out and I feel a little stuck or just want some input. I have two therapists I call on. One is somebody I go to if I want touchy-feely stuff and one is somebody I go to if I want practical input. I see each of these people anywhere from 2 to 6 times a year. It varies. I feel great knowing that they are there, they know my history, and they can pick up what's going on with very little preparation. It's something that works for me - kind of like having a little pain pill in my back pocket.

Joselle