23 yr old having hyst May 12 need support

Hello everyone! I am new to this forum and was directed here from a supporter from the other support group I am in through the Endometreosis Research Center. She suggested this site and I am glad that she did.

I am writing to get support. Here is a little background info for you so that you can understand what I am requesting...

I am 23 years old (24 in August) and am about to face a hysterectomy on May 12th. I married when I was 18 years old and being with my husband in that certain way started causing more problems but my pain started when I was 13 years old (basically when I started my period). I didn't know what was going on at the time and I just dealt with the horrific cramps and pain till I found out I had endo at 19 years old and had it for a while. I have had a total of 11 laps (last one this past December) and am so tired of the pain. Sad to say it does put a damper on a relationship as well.

My husband and I struggled with fertility for a while. I was told that my chances of having kids was very little. When I had a lap in Sept. 2000, I gave up even trying. I just figured it wasn't meant to be and accepted it. Well, I was blessed 9 months after by the news that I was having a baby and I now have a 1 month old. I am only saying this for I truly was blessed for you see 3 months after I had my daughter, I was having horrible pains and I let it continue until December (I used all my leave on maternity so had to rebuild). When I had my lap in December, I found out that my endo had spread everywhere. I was faced with the decision to either decided to try for another baby (chances were even worse for me at this point) or to have a hysterectomy. After all of the pain, my husband and I decided a hyst was the way to go.

The reason I have prolonged it is because I am a college student going to school on grants and scholarships and I didn't want to lose free money to go to school. So to help the pain until May 12th I have been receiving Lupron shots once a month. They help but we are not doing one this month because I am fixing to have my surgery and there was no need for it. Anyways, I am already experiencing the pain again.

I am doubting myself about my decision and need support from someone beccuse my husband doesn't understand. He is supportive in everything but as a guy he just doesn't get it. I am young and scared. My mother had her hysterectomy when she was 33 with similiar problems but her experience is dated so her support is limited as far as information. If anyone could lend me some supportive words I would be truly grateful.
Thanks a bunch.

Welcome =) I suspect a few months from now you will be thrilled you had the surgery and your quality of life will be much better!
I am scheduled for my surgery the same day you are. I go back and forth as well, but I just keep thinking about the next months being pain free....that is well worth it to me.
I am only 28 so I have the sad feelings about not being able to have children again as well.
We can count down the next month together =)

Hi LaDawn and Bethany

I cried for you after reading your posts. Have either or both of you explored the Aching Hearts board? As I understand, this board is for ladies who are greiving the loss of potential families.

This is a wonderful site for any lady looking to solve their gyno problems. If it hadn't been for this site, I would have lost my mind.

Stop in the chatroom, their are lots of princesses in there who are helpful, caring and funny too.

Dear LaDawn,
I wish I could give you a big motherly Though I have a 22 year old (adopted)daughter, some of what you said touched a chord in me.
I had severe mentrual problems since I was 11 years old. The birth control pills that they gave in those years were not helpful and the doctors hoped that once I was married and sexually active a pregnancy would help.
Unfortunately, that never happened and I have existed to the ripe old age of 53, still having non specific problems. My hyst was, for me, a good thing in that the darn stuff never worked properly in the first place.
Honey, the fact that you have that lovely baby is truly a blessing. You will get through all the rest of this and have a wonderful life with that lovely child.
If you read some of the posts here, you will see that many of the sisters have less than wholly supportive husbands. Build a support system of those people who love and care for you. Your husband is only one of them. You know you will receive love and support here.
Reach out to others through Aching Hearts and you will see that you are not alone in your pain. Since coming here, I realize that no matter what my problems have been, there are so many others who cope daily with more on their shoulders.
I will continue to that all goes well for you in your surgery.

Just wanted to let you know...this is the place to be.
I had endo as well and it was awful. I am single and 44. I didn't have the chance to have any children.
I can say that since my hysterectomy (Jan31) I can say that the pain is gone, occasionaly I get a hurt or two. But mostly the only pain I have is from the healing from the surgery.
I know that I made the best decision in having the surgery. My pain is gone and I have alot of energy.
It feels so much better now.
I am happy that you where blessed with a beautiful baby.
I wish you the best in your recovery, it will be tough at first, but think of all the painfree time you will be able to spend with your family!
Peace
Vicki

Doubletrouble,

I'm 26, never had any children and had my hyst in August 2002.

I, too, did the Lupron and BCP's and had two laps before my hyst. I know how hard it can be when you're so young.

It sounds as though DH is pretty supportive, but you're right, they are men and can't completely understand.

I hope your hyst goes well - please keep us informed

Phoebe

I am 39 and had lavh on 4/5. I have been dealing with endo since I was 17. I've had multiple laps, lupron shots, different birth control pills, hormone pills, etc. I tried everything and went to multiple doctors.
When I was 23, I was told I would never have children so I started to deal with it then.
My current doc wanted to wait until I was close to 40 to do the hyst. I am 10 days post and wondering why I waited so long!
You will start to feel good and have your life back after the surgery. This website is the most wonderful place to vent, ask questions, etc. We've all been through it and everyone has experiences and thoughts to share -
Your baby is a blessing, your dh is a blessing (even if he doesn't get it) and the surgery is a blessing too -
we're here for you - keep us posted -
do something nice for you today!
Bella

Dear doubletrouble
looks like we're in the same boat! I too have suffered from endo for the last...18 years (since startin my periods) I am now 34. I feel too young to be having this op done, but again like yourself I have been blessed with 3 beautiful (but lairy) boys...although the dr's recommended a hyst after my first son, as they said I would be unable to have any more children...they did'nt know as much about endo back then, y'no. I really feed so sorry for all us women who have suffered for so long with this awful pain. I grew up thinking that sex was always gonna be painful! My hubby is also very caring and loving, but men don't really understand how us women feel, the emotions involved. You're gonna be fine ms double! Believe me, i am real scared bout this op, my kids, my hubby, how will they cope etc..? But this one has got to be for us women who don't want to suffer anymore...you deserve to be freed from the pain and stress of it all. Go for it, from what I have learned on this site it's gonna be worth it...and pain free sex? whats that? I can't wait.
Good luck, and I hope this letter helped just a little.
Sylvi
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I had my tvh 17 days ago. I just turned 28 last month and I wish I would have done this 5 years ago!! I too married at 18 and was lucky to get pregnant very easily, but a big problem staying pregnant. Out of 5, I miscarried 3 times because my body would go into complete labor. My mom had the same thing so I was a preemie and so were my children. My grandmother and mother also had their surgeries in their twenties and never have regreted it. There is such relief in knowing I may have some sort of normal life after this surgery. Hugs to you.
Kim

I am so happy that you found this site. I joined the sisters only last week, and I have to say, I love it here. I have never seen such support on a website in my life. I am also young (25), and having my Hystorectomy 3 days after you, May 15th. I am suprised to see so many women my age that are going through this, but pleased at the same time to know that I am not the only one, and that I have found a place full of women who know what I am going through.

Good luck to you, and I will be thinking about you on the 12th.

April