Surrogate after Hysterectomy??

Hi. I'm not sure if this is the proper category for this question. But...I am 8 weeks post op. I have 1 ovary left. She's holding down the fort!! I've been having a very hard time recently about not being able to have another child.

My husband and I have started to talk about the possibility of doing a gestational (my egg and his sperm) with a surrogate. My research shows that it is extremely expensive. Does anyone have any knowledge in this area? Am I just dreaming?? JillSue

Hi JillSue,

I have to admit up front that I have virtually no knowledge about surrogacy! However, I did notice on the "Friends without Faces" boards that there was some conversation about adoption. Perhaps there are also women there who went through with surrogacy. Just a thought. Best of luck to you, JillSue, this has been a hard road for you, but I'm thinking of you and hoping the best for you!

Beth

(((((((JillSue)))))))),
I have heard of the surrogate & invetro... I'm not really sure how much it costs. But I would guess it would be very expensive... I think don't quote me, but it's around $10,000 to do the in vetro fertilizations. That is per invetro... & sometimes it may take a few times. Then you would also have to fully pay for the surrogate mothers pregnancy & the legal fees... By then I'm not sure??? I'm not totally positive. BUT IF THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY RIGHT?? I would try to do some more research on it and talk with your doctor, maybe they know of the right channels to follow. And prices may very also state to state, etc. GOOD LUCK!!!!!
Jamie

Thanks for your replies Beth and Jamie. I was doing fine physically and mentally for the first 6 weeks. Then the loss of fertility hit me like a brick wall!! I think it was because I've always been able to control things in my life....then cancer came and took away my choices. I just keep remembering how scared I was on Christmas Eve when I had my Cat scan. I was so relieved when it was negative. I didn't realize that after the fright went away that all sorts of emotions would spring up.

I read about everyone's stories and courage and it is comforting. Thanks! JillSue

Hi Jill Sue,

I really want to have another child via a surrogate but my DH has not embraced the idea of a third child at all. I think that you pay the surrogate about $25-30 thousand a year plus the invitro expenses. I am sure that you can find out information about this on the internet. As for the fertility issue. It has gotten a bit easier over the past 18 months but I still have my moments (or hours) of grief. This is all normal.

Hi Denise,

I was somewhat suprised that my hubby has agreed to "keep our options open" while we think about it. We are very practical people and the idea of a surrogate seems like a pipe dream. Maybe if you keep working on your hubby he'll change his mind.

I have researched this quite a bit. If we use an agency or an attorney (both of which I'm more comfortable with than just answering an ad and doing it privately) the fees can run as high as 65,000.00 OUCH!! But, I have found some agencies in the northeast which seem reputable. (That could help you...I'm from Florida). Thanks so much for your reply. It still hurts badly even though we were lucky enough to have kids. JillSue

(((((((jill))))))),
That is definately understandable! I'm sure many women have also experienced this! It comes & goes with different situations that arise.... I think that you still have tons of possibilities too! You have already learned about the invetro process, and there is adoption too! There are many sisters on here that have adopted and I'm sure would love to share their experiences with you! I hope that you will be able to find the information that you are looking for!

Jamie