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Helping Hubby Understand your Hysterectomy

From the Pre-Op Hysterectomy Articles List

Helping Husband understand hysterectomyMy husband doesn’t seem to understand! Can you suggest some ideas so that I can communicate my needs to him as I prepare for this hysterectomy?

Some nervous pre-op women sense that as their surgery date draws nearer, their spouse appears to “emotionally check out.” Unsupportive, nonchalant, disinterested, unconcerned—all these terms have been used to describe the demeanor of some husbands during their wife’s pre-op weeks. It can make the hysterectomy patient feel lonely as well as disappointed in the behavior of her spouse.

It is important to understand that individuals react differently to stress and fear. If your husband appears to have distanced himself from you during this time, it is probably his coping mechanism in reaction to the fear and worry he is experiencing. He may feel helpless and afraid himself, but he doesn’t want to reveal those feelings, so he withdraws. Men typically like to “fix” things, and if they can’t fix it, they don’t know what to do about it; a hysterectomy definitely falls into that category.

One HysterSister member got her withdrawn husband more involved by having him help get the house ready for her recovery. This way, her husband felt like he was doing something to “fix” the problem.

Another woman, whose husband didn’t want to talk about the surgery, printed information from Hystersisters.com, and left the papers lying around in places he would see them. Apparently, he read them and realized how much support and help she needed.

Hystersisters.com can also help your husband to cope with “the hysterectomy experience.” There is a special section of the site that was developed just for husbands, Mister HysterSisters. Being educated on the topic can make him feel more in control and more confident in helping you face the challenges ahead. The more he knows about your upcoming procedure, the more comfortable he may feel in sharing his thoughts and emotions with you. Consider doing yourselves a favor by purchasing the Mister Hyster Sisters Guide (electronic book) for him—it can help to ease the emotional burden for him during this stressful time and trigger healthy communication between the two of you.

This content was written by staff of HysterSisters.com by non-medical professionals based on discussions, resources and input from other patients for the purpose of patient-to-patient support.

03-28-2005 - 04:14 PM


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