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Intimacy after Hysterectomy | Hesitant Husband

From the Intimacy After Hysterectomy Articles List

Intimacy after hysterectomyAt my six-week post-op exam, my doctor released me to resume intercourse, but my husband is not interested. There is no reason that I can think of except that maybe he thinks that my surgical scar is gross. I've done everything possible to make myself look pretty. I don't know what's wrong.

Even though you got your physician's release to resume intercourse, a sensitive and caring partner may be afraid of hurting you after a major abdominal surgery like a hysterectomy. If this is the case, it is important to discuss your concerns and insecurities with your partner in a frank, but courteous manner. After all, he might be waiting for you to “open the door” and create an opportunity to discuss this with you. In situations like this, it is probably best to begin the conversation by focusing on the word “I” rather than concentrating on the word “you.” For example, “I am feeling sad because I miss the closeness and the good feelings I enjoyed from having sex with you,” instead of “What’s wrong with you? Why don’t you want to have sex?”

The last thing you should do when you're recovering from a hysterectomy is feel bad about yourself for what you suspect are flaws or inadequacies in your appearance. Solid, healthy, long-term relationships do not hinge on each partner’s physical perfection. Ask yourself, “If my husband had a surgical scar on his body, would I still desire him?” If the answer is yes, then it’s likely your spouse feels the same way about you.

There is no blanket answer that works for everyone. Sex is a very private matter, and only you and your partner can really determine how to overcome this obstacle. With time and with communication, however, intimate relations will most likely resume naturally.

This content was written by a member of HysterSisters.com as a non-medical professionals based on discussions, resources and input from other patients for the purpose of patient-to-patient support.

08-21-2007 - 02:27 PM


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