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Feeling Lost after Hysterectomy - Can I Have My Uterus Back?

From the Emotion Health - Grief - Depression Articles List

Feeling lost after hysterectomySince my hysterectomy I have been feeling lost and alone. I no longer feel like myself and I am regretting my decision to have the surgery. I just want my uterus back.


A hysterectomy is a very personal journey. As a unique woman, you'll have your own feelings about the what your uterus means to you and how you're affected by its removal. If you've had an unexpected hysterectomy, felt pressured into having the surgery, are left with post op complications, or have unresolved pain and symptoms, you may find yourself experiencing mixed emotions. If your pathology report came back normal, this may make you feel worse rather than relieved, adding to your emotions. You may find yourself feeling regret, grief, anger, and a strong desire to have your uterus back. Those feelings may be directed at your surgeon, family, or even yourself.

Acknowledgment is important.

First, acknowledge the importance of your uterus to you. You may have wanted to have another child, or you may have been trying to conceive for the first time. Your fertility may have made you feel womanly, desirable, and feminine. It may have contributed to your sexual pleasure, leaving you feeling disappointed with intimate relations.

It’s ok (and even healthy) to grieve the loss of your uterus, and you have a right to feel whatever emotions you have. Forgive yourself and know that you made the best decision you could at the time.

Remember, you are not alone, and there are other women working through the same feelings. Reach out for help: your doctor, a counselor, family member, or support group can be very helpful in moving through your grief. Consider ways of symbolically grieving the loss of your uterus, such as by planting a tree, sponsoring a child overseas or writing a letter to your unborn child.

Know that you are still you and very much a woman.

You may wonder if you're less of a woman after your hysterectomy. Have no fears, you are still very much a woman. You are much more than the sum of your parts. Your uterus did not define you and did not make you a woman. It is in your heart, in your soul, and right down to your DNA. You are the woman you have always been and always will be.

Work towards healing.

Regret can be a difficult emotion to get past, but it is counter-productive to moving forward. It’s hard to accept that you can’t undo what’s been done, no matter how badly you wish for it. But once you've forgive yourself, overcoming regret can be a bit easier. Talking out your feelings or writing in a journal can be beneficial, too. It can also be healing to write all your anger or resentment out on paper and then burn it. Or try writing your feelings on a balloon and then it go off into the sky.

Let others help.

Don’t shut out those who love you. Talk to them and allow them to pamper you as you heal emotionally and physically from your hysterectomy. Get out of the house. Go to the park or the movies. It’s ok to have fun. Returning to your regular life is key to moving on. Take care of yourself by eating and sleeping well, drinking lots of water and getting regular exercise. Time heals and it does get better.

You can also browse through the HysterSisters Grief & Depression Articles to learn more valuable information about your emotional healing post hysterectomy. You can also find support by posting in the HysterSisters forums.

This content was written by staff of HysterSisters.com by non-medical professionals based on discussions, resources and input from other patients for the purpose of patient-to-patient support.

08-28-2016 - 07:59 PM


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