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Finding my way 10-01-2011 - 11:21 PM
I took it easy the last 24hrs. I really needed it. I slept like sleeping was going out of style. Today I even laid around a bit, actually until after 5pm and then I got dressed and tackled Wally World with my DH. I must say the trip went well and he continued to forget I couldn't push the buggy. It was kinda cute watching him run through the store without a list...lol. Bless his heart. Closer towards the way out my godsister was there (the one who never showed up surgery week but comes around when she wants something) and tried to talk to us...I wasn't interested.

My younger 2 boys spent the night with a friend last night and came home this evening so that meant my 15 year old was home with hubby and I. It was like he wasnt home. My mom called to see when the kids were out of school she wanted them for a few days so this coming weekend they will be gone to visit her and my granny. Hubby went back to work this last week and I kinda wish I had someone here at home with me. It gets lonely around here and I can think of everything I dont need to do when no one is here and can't think of a thing when someone is. I don't like being by myself. I can't stand it! But I am gonna put on my big girl panties and stop the pouting.

My belly button and 2 abdomen incisions are looking awesome! Hard to believe that I had a procedure almost 2 weeks ago! That is what caused my minor setback (and I wouldn't call it that because after I slept a bit I was fine) thinking that I am superwoman and running up and down the stairs at home (makes getting that house built more of a reality now). I love my bed but I am much more familiar with it now than I was in mid-August when I had my kidneystone removed laproscopically (that's an entirely different journal entry for another day). But anyway, I love to lay down but this is RIDICULOUS! I mean I know we are suppose to rest but good grief!

Reading the recovery forum on the post-op board gives me view of the different issues that one can go through during a hysterectomy. Some elect to have the procedure. For others it's a medical necessity and it's bitter sweet for some, a good thing for others and a loss for a few. I for one knew EVENTUALLY I would need one after my 3rd son, it became a reality sooner rather than later. Right now I'm not hormonal nor am I mourning the loss of child bearing (had a tubal after my baby boy almost 7 years ago), but I do feel like a part of me is missing. The day we decided to say "let's do it", I went to the doctor alone and when I got to the car I cried like a newborn, calling my husband sobbing between words. I felt like what made me a woman was about to be taken from me. I later found out this wasn't true. No one can take your womanhood away. True your childbearing organs are gone, but that doesn't define your womanhood/femininity. Grace, poise, class, humor, intelligence, supportiveness, mannerisms....among others make you a lady, a woman! If God decided today to take my breasts away, I would still be a woman, because he created me that way.

So all in all, I'm back on track. I'm doing much better and thank God for the help I do have (even though I give them hell). They make my days brighter and eliminate the negative. My family...I'm grateful for them!


barren said at 10-02-2011 - 10:08 AM
After your insomnia the other day, I'm so glad to read that you got some rest. Your words regarding what defines womanhood/femininity are inspiring. I shall keep that in mind when I have my procedure.


divastar1874 said at 10-02-2011 - 11:33 PM
That insomina was HORRIBLE! But its alright, I know the trick until I see my doctor! Tylenol PM! LOL

I am glad it inspired you because someone told me those words...and it made me feel sooo much better! I am glad it touched you Barren!





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