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Got the green light and it should just as well stayed red!! 03-07-2005 - 11:25 PM
I am six weeks post op today and alot of my restrictions were to end today. Yeah, I can now take a bubble bath, which I love!!
My DH and I were intimate tonight, but it was no better than before my posterior repair surgery. I am so terribly disappointed. Before my surgery(hyst) I had started losing sensations down there.I figured it was from my bladder pushing down on my uterus and cervix. I just knew it would improve after surgery. It didn't. As a matter of fact it just continues to get worse day by day. Tonight was just like the weeks leading up to my posterior repairs. I have no lubrication still, get all swollen up inside still. My DH cannot fit inside anymore until we use KY Gel. otherwise there is no way!!Then just as before I don't have much sensation in there. I feel some pressure and discomfort, but can't feel the rest that comes. I can't reach that big "O" if it killed me. That has been a good year and a half.
We will keep being gentle and compassionate and understanding, but what else can I do? Is there any help out there?
I have a small cystocele according to my gyn, but will not get repaired unless it really grows. I am having a tvt in April for a urethrea that doesn't seal properly. I have noticed alot of bulging material from the top when I looked with a mirror. I have no idea what that is.

Oh well, we will give it time and see what happens. I have no idea where to turn for help. I really miss this special part of my marriage. I love my DH sooooo much.

frustrated Peggy


 
cow32323 said at 03-08-2005 - 03:00 AM
Peggy there is more to a marriage then sex . I feel that is .Does it mean when one is old and bedridden and unable to have sex that the marriage is over ?

There are other ways to get intimate . This is when you should get creative . I too suffer from a dry vagina now and sex when we tried has been painful .

MOst days Im too tired anyhow but I dont love Dh any less .

I hope that he too remembers its for better or for worse. If the marriage ever falls apart because of this then he doesnt deserve me i feel . I guess if you feel comfortable enough to share it with him I dont mind you letting him read this

After so many years together ( for us ) My love has not lessened . If he can love me still despite the lack of sex then hesmore of a treasure to keep at all costs


(((HUGS)))) ...

mei

 


jmberg said at 03-08-2005 - 05:31 AM
There are other ways to be intimate. I peronally found that the further out from surgery I get, the better it gets. Don't give up on it entirely. Just because the doctor said it is a go does not mean your body says it is a go. Take it slow and easy and give it some time.

For me it has gotten better. Just not as often as in the past and I am good for a long time.

Remind hubby you do love him and you think this is something that is going to take some time. If it does not, hopefully you wil both have come to terms by then

Hugs
Jane

 


Blue Skyes said at 03-08-2005 - 06:00 AM
Peggy, I'm sorry that the green light didn't turn out like you planned. I agree with the sisters that it is still early in recovery.
there could be some real hormonal issues here too! lubrication is part of hormones!! wish I'd known that all those years ago!

Stephanie

 


millet4261 said at 03-08-2005 - 08:43 AM
Peggy,
Don't give up and try not to focus too hard on the sex thing. In time, when the pressure is off regarding your expectations, maybe it will be better. Take your time, and remember the things we forget when you try again, like how good he smells, taking time to just rub eachother's back, how good he feels next to you, stuff like that. In spite of it all, you can still have great sex!
Good luck,
Debbie

 


janelarson said at 03-08-2005 - 09:13 AM
Peggy -

It took me over three months before it was comfortable having sex again after a similar surgery, but we didn't try often because I was so nervous. I found it helped to have a glass of wine beforehand to relax myself. Make sure you're really in the mood and use LOTS of lubricant. Personally I thought six weeks was far too early for me, and I told DH there was NO WAY he was getting any for weeks to come.

On the bright side, it all seems to work again now and DH says I feel "new" again. He's very pleased with the results. Just give yourself time.

 


Julia S said at 03-08-2005 - 09:42 AM
Peggy.
I had my OP in sept 2004 - and I am still trying to find my lost libido. And not just that - but I have NO IDEA what the big O is - it has been so long. I like you still have some pain, and also some loss of sensation.

I am with the others - it takes time. Sadly but true - and there are other ways to show and share love. And I am not talking just the sexual creativity - more than that

I also agree with Mei 100%. Mei, you took the words right out of my mouth!

s Peggy for you to feel better soon - and for Dh to keep being wonderful and understanding - it is harder for them to release the frustration than it is for us -I keep telling myself that... a new mantra.


Julia

 


fran.k said at 03-08-2005 - 04:36 PM
Peggy, please be patient, 6 weeks after surgery isn't very long, and I know I was swollen down below for around 3 months. It will get better, just relax and heal.

 


mtdewpeg said at 03-08-2005 - 08:54 PM
thanks sisters. I was just so tired and a little disappointed when I wrote the entry last night. I know things will get better with time. It has been a very long road for both of us.We both know there is a heck of alot more to a marriage than sex. If that was the case we would have went seperate ways a long time ago. LOL He has always been there for me during good and bad times. I have the tvt surgery in less than 4 weeks and I know it will be a no go again anyway. I love my DH dearly and I know he feels the same way about me. Our 22nd anniversary is coming up before long.I think the stress of the last 10 months has really worn on me. Thank God I have such a wonderful DH.
I know just because I hit the six week mark, it doesn't mean I am 100%. My body has told me alot lately that it needs more time.

 


 

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