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Today's my birthday, mixed emotions 11-13-2004 - 01:48 PM
Today is my 49th birthday. Usually the number of years is irrelevant to me, but this year is different. My Dad died 30 years and 4 weeks ago. He was 49 years old. That's what I'm having a problem with - I am now the same age he was when he died. He had a heart attack, no warning at all. The ultimate irony is that he gave up smoking just 10 days before.

Other than just missing him I think of all he missed out on - he never saw any of his kids get married, never knew any of his grandchildren, and his grandchildren never knew him. To them he's just a picture, or a name on a plaque on the fire station. They don't understand who he was and what he meant to us all.

Even after all this time it still hurts, some days, like today, worse than others.



 
Aurora said at 11-13-2004 - 02:27 PM
First of all ! I just turned 49 (ugghh!) on Monday, and Moonchime (Marilyn) just turned 49 on Wednesday. Wigenout's (Heather) birthday was the 5th, but she just turned 29 I believe.

I'm sorry you are feeling so sad on your birthday, there are those special dates that roll around that really bring the memories and feelings of loss back. I am so sorry for your loss, you lost your Dad at such a young age.

I do understand what you mean about those dates, a friend of mine lost her Dad when she was only 16 and she went through those same feelings when she turned the same age he was when he died. I think it is one of those benchmarks that one must dread.

I hope that you are able to have some fun today, you live in such a special place. We had the pleasure of visiting Maine this summer (camping), near Bar Harbor, Camden, and upstate Maine near the Canadian border. It is really gorgeous there, what a beautiful place to live.

Take care,

s, Anne

 


Moonchime said at 11-13-2004 - 03:25 PM
MaryLou. I just celebrated my 49th birthday on Wednesday the 10th.

I understand how much you still miss your Dad. Today would have been my dear Mom's 67th birthday--she died on April 22, 2000. It hurts so deeply today to know that she is no longer here on the earth so that I can wish her a Happy Birthday.

I hope your birthday is truly wonderful and blessed. S~Moonchime

 


Kim M said at 11-13-2004 - 04:12 PM
(((Mary Lou))) My father has been gone almost 32 years now. I do know how you feel. While it gets better with time, I don't think the hurt ever truly heals. I have my father's picture hanging in my study and often look up and think "what if?". But you can't change the past.
I too realize that I am now the age my father was when he passed away. It's pretty scarey! Hold on to the good memories and know that your daddy is probably looking down on you and is mighty proud of the daughter he raised! Many hugs, Kim

 


solana2 said at 11-13-2004 - 04:19 PM

As we get older, our birthdays seem to take on new significance, and we tend to think of things that are sentimental.

I wish I were 49 again ! (I am 51 now).

I believe you are thinking of your father, because he wants to wish you Happy Birthday ! Enjoy that thought, and your special day.

And again, Happy Birthday to you !

 


Dany said at 11-13-2004 - 05:39 PM
To you ((((MaryLou)))) I turned 48 in September, so I'm not very far behind you

I know how you feel about your dad: while mine passed away only 6 1/2 years ago (March 1997), he was 48 when he had his first heart attack That's one of the reasons why I'm being so careful with this uncoming menopause and with controlling my weight, and what I eat: I don't want my kids' quality of life to be affected the same way mine was. And DH will be 52, next year, and he's been dreading fretfully because that's how old his dad was when he passed away from breast cancer.

Hang in there ((((sweetie)))): hopefully, your lifestyle and the advancements in medical technology is such that you will not go through the same thing your dad went through

 


Julia S said at 11-14-2004 - 03:43 AM
Mary Lou,

! I know how those bdays at times can be bittersweet with memories of ones we love who are not here to share them with us in person - but I am positive your father is with you in spirit.

Many warm s to you on this special day - and may the memories of your father bring happiness and not sorrow.


Julia

 


 

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