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Am I Normal?? 01-23-2005 - 07:28 AM
Every day I read posts from women who are mourning the loss of their uterus. I don't get it. I don't understand mourning the loss of the uterus. I can understand if a woman had never been able to have children mourning the loss of any possibility of having a child, but when I read posts from women who are truly mourning the loss of the uterus itself, feeling less than womanly because they no longer have periods, or actually MISS having periods?? I JUST DON'T GET IT!!!!

I never appreciated having periods, it didn't make me feel like a woman. I remember very clearly the day my first period started, I mourned then - felt that my life was over. I sure wasn't thinking "ooooh I'm a woman now". For the ensuing 30 or so years I hated every single period - the mess, the pain, the odor, I felt gross and disgusting during each period.

I am the most sentimental person I know - I hold onto things because they have sentimental value - my grandmothers china, for a long time I had every school paper my kids ever brought home, baby toys my kids played with (they're 25 and 21 now), the list of what I have a hard time parting with goes on and on.

So why was it so easy to say bye bye to my uterus - a piece of my body, the place where my children spent the first 9 months of their lives? As far as I was concerned it was no more emotionally traumatic than getting a haircut. I had about 5 seconds of sentimentality about it when I was on my way to the hospital, but that was all.

I truly never felt there was anything special about having a period. And I sure haven't had one thought in the past three years that maybe I'd like to have another one for old times sake. I'm thrilled I never have to deal with that again - ever.

So what is normal? This is normal for me.

cow32323 said at 01-23-2005 - 08:47 AM
every lady is different . I mourn the losss of the chance of another child .. if that makes any s ense hmm *muses*

I for one do not miss having a period . Oh goodness all the pain floods and nausea .. no sireee



Aurora said at 01-23-2005 - 09:00 AM
Because I was mostly past my child bearing years, and I was fortunate enough to have the family I wanted, I would say no, I don't miss my uterus.

I think I went through a grieving process initially, and worried if my DH would not find me as feminine, but those fears have subsided now.

I can understand why younger women would mourn the loss more than I do.



gemsab said at 01-23-2005 - 09:51 AM
I agree with aurora!

Emily s


jeanette said at 01-23-2005 - 01:08 PM
You're normal in my book! Actually, I believe it just depends on the age of the woman and her mind set. Everyone's different, and I don't begrudge them their sorrow.

But, I agree with Anne/Aurora 100%.

I was 46 when I had my surgery. I had my children, thankfully, my family was complete. I maybe wished I'd had one more when I was in my 30's but that was for financial reasons not for being unable to.

I certainly had enough of the bleeding, the mess, the pain. I didn't have any attachments to my uterus as far as my feminity or womanhood. So I understand what you're thinking and why you're wondering some woman feel so unfeminine without this body part.

I say good riddance! I'm glad I had the surgery and I don't regret it for a minute!



Shireen said at 02-05-2005 - 09:49 PM
I had 3 kids and even one of my own would have been great to feel better. I am 4yrs post op and still have ovaries. Feel terrible every month I still ovulate and am in bed throwing up. Going to see if i should have them removed and finally feel better after 13 yrs!


heartbear said at 02-06-2005 - 11:29 AM
I found your post very funny. Thanks for your honesty. .
Having had an emergency hyst in my 30s, I would say, the feeling is very difficult to convey. I can't pretend to understand it myself. I suppose if a man in his 30s were to shave every day and not have a problem with it, or if he had light facial hair or had a problem growing a beard even, if one day all of his body hair was removed involuntarily by another in an operation due an accident and from thereon he was smooth as a baby's bottom but never had to shave again, and he was rendered infertile to boot as a surprise, he would mourn the sudden and involuntary loss of his fertility and he would mourn the loss of the daily ritual of shaving, even if he was normally clean shaven and found shaving a chore. Say after that point in addition to being rendered infertile, stripped of his facial hair, which other men have even though they shave it off, he had to take hormones or else he could not maintain an erection or ejaculate, all of the above which were not of his choosing. That might send him into a bit of shock. However, if he had too much hair, and he was thinking about lasering it off or at least some of it off, had a long time to think about it, and decided he had an abnormality with excessive hair, he would not miss the hair one minute - he would be glad he was empowered to make that choice and get rid of a problem that had been plaguing him for a large part of his life. Say at the same time he chose a vasectomy. Afterwards he might regret his decision, but less so because it was a decision he empowered himself to make. Just my one cents worth. I think what you are feeling is completely normal, and congrats on having strength in achieving a good recovery and on achieving wellness.





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