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I'm Lost...... 01-14-2005 - 08:50 AM
Well, a day of thinking, and trying to figure out life, and I still dont know where I am or what I should do....I am just lost....

I love HysterSisters. I really do. I get so much support and caring when i really need it. And that is great. Before anyone freaks please hear me out....Where I need the support, I find it lacking. I am having so many libido issues, and maybe it is just because there is not a whole lot of info out there, but I dont seem to get the answers I need and want.

I am depressed, I take effexor, lowest dose. Doc put me on Vagifem which did help but still not bring me back to where I was. So Doc puts me on Testosterone, and the only difference is I am dizzy and unsure....So last night i decided to decrease my Effexor to the lowest dose every two days. And yes that is doc approved.

I want my life back. I am sick and tired of not being able to have what I used to have. I am happy that i feel better, but unhappy that I have lost such a huge part of me. To get rid of three days of pain, I have given up so much more. I lost my job, my thoughts, my brain power, and my libido! Today I regret every inch of this decision to have a hyst. I really really do. It wasnt like I was so bad off I couldnt have lived.

I just dont know where i belong anymore. I have posted onto the Sexual Dysfunction board, and they moved me to the Hormone Jungle. I dont find the answers there helpful but like i stated before, maybe it is cuz there are no answers. I have had a hard time the last few days reading about employment issues, and women talking about pregnancy and kids, and all the other stuff. I just dont know anymore....

Then I start to question if I am even helping anyone. I dont know anymore, because it seems like when you answer one question, someone else asks another question that is equally as difficult as the first. It is wearing on me, and I dont feel helpful or useful. I cant even feel it at home anymore, and just dont know what is going on, or even beginning to understand these things flying through my brain.

One dear friend told me I was welcome on all the boards here, and I know I am. I just feel as lost on here as I do in my life. I dont feel like a wife anymore, because I dont have a libido. My mommy days are at an end, my kid doesnt seem to want to play around with me like I used to. He is growing up and growing away. My whole life is swirling around me and I just feel lost, and alone even with my DH by my side.

Someone please tell me that this is all ok, it will pass, and my life will come back....PLEASE!! I need to hear it right now, lie or not....
I am so lost......

Aurora said at 01-14-2005 - 09:42 AM
Hi Kat, s. I think we've all felt like you feel at some point, and things can go up and down.
I've had stretches where I've had very little libido at all, sometimes because the emotional connection isn't there, but early on it's not unusual to have problems. I'm not sure if you lost your ovaries, or what medications you're on - it never hurts to make an appointment to talk with this about your Dr. who knows your medical history and background.

Just wanted to let you know, that no, you're not alone with those feelings. Take care,

s, Anne


jeanette said at 01-14-2005 - 10:21 AM
Please know that you are not alone in that deep, dark pit. There are a lot of us there with you but we sometimes hate to face it ourselves.

I, too, face lost libido issues but mine were there before my hyst. My surgeon hoped the hyst would improve the libido, but no it didn't. I'm facing an empty house with both my kids out and a DH that chooses to work than be with me. I'm analyzing my life, my marriage, my choices. If I divorced, who would want me without a libido? Would I even want to be bothered with a man? I think not. Do I want to be alone?

I, too, find comfort and solace here but.....I want more. I want a lot of the friends I've made here to be here in person at times. I want more information on hormones and why my libido exited and never came back. Why can't anyone tell me?

So no you aren't alone, you aren't crazy, you aren't feeling things no one else is feeling. And I'm not lying either.

Hopefully, it will pass and we'll gain strength and find our answers and support from each other and doctors who care. All we can do is hang in there and keep venting in our journals and searching our tireless search for the lost libido and our sexuality.



t1gger said at 01-14-2005 - 10:34 AM
I agree with the ladies. We all have had our moments. We all have had our struggles. We do, however, manage to overcome. Everything will work out. You should talk with your doctor to see what else is available to you. And you know you will always have support here!!!


Kim M said at 01-15-2005 - 03:44 PM
Kat Yes, things can get better, but it can take some time. To be honest, it took me over a year until I found some semblance of my old self. Actually, I like the me I am now, better than the one I was before. I am a much calmer person than I was before.

I'm sorry you're having a difficult time, but the hormone issues can take some time to work out. I think one of the keys is finding a doctor to listen and to help you work these issues out.





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