Wow... you know.. you would think it would get easier the more times you have done it.. it doesn't.
I had gallbladder surgery in 7/01, TAH 5/02, jaw surgery 7/02, knee surgery 10/02... so... one would assume I am pretty good at this surgery thing. At least everyone I know seems to think I am good with it. &quot;Wow.. another surgery?&quot; LOL.. if I hear it one more time I will scream.
I was getting my bags ready for the castle.. checking off my list.. I bought new jammies and robe.. make myself feel good about being there.. ya know. And I am just not doing well... I think I am losing it.. I'm scared.. I'm pretending like I am not so that my kids don't worry. DH and I had a fight last night because I want someone to talk to about hormones &amp; getting ready for the surgery and he feels that if he ignores the whole thing it will go away. He cried and said this will never be easy for him and that he just doesn't want to lose me... then I felt bad about being mad at him and about putting him through this.
Seems like I just can't get ahold of my own feelings. I have a couple of friends at work that I can talk to and they are willing to listen.. but one of them just found out yesterday that she needs knee surgery (the same one I had) so I feel like I can't really talk to her because now she has her own surgery to freak out about.
I am glad to have this outlet... I have 9 days until the castle. 1 week until Dr. pre-op and I can ask all my last minute questions. I just want it to be a month from now.. I know it will be better then... but then I'm also afraid of the future... and the hormone issues... I just want to be one of those women who can stick on their patch and be good to go. =) Here's to wishing.
I guess I should get back to work... don't have much time before I have to hand the reins over to someone else. Thank you ladies... it's good to be here... it really is.