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gertie56's Blog
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I have a new Hystersister... 05-12-2012 - 10:22 PM
So this morning the DH and I picked up our female, Doberman puppy from the vet...she got "fixed", as they say...

As the vet is giving us the speech about what to expect, she says the incision will start to itch as it heals (I remember) and the anesthesia can make her nauseated (again, I remember) and she is not to run or jump or play for the next few weeks (and I am thinking "or vaccuum or lift anything over 5lbs, etc, I get it&quot.

Then on the drive home, I hear my DH say to her "now you and Mommy are Hystersisters!" It made me laugh!

I have to say, the past few months have been a little rough for me. Things have been going fine in my life but I have been ignoring something and it came to a head earlier in the week. I have been moody, having times where all I want to do is cry, tired, uninterested, numb, etc. I thought it was residual effects from the surgery, but I realized I was ignoring the true signs of depression. I have suffered from clinical depression before (it runs in the family) but I don't know why I ignored it, but I did. The important thing is that I went to the doc this week and I got some help and today was a better and more productive day than I have had in a long, long time. The DH took care of our little girl and I got busy with some cleaning therapy!

To my sisters, thank you for always being here! To those of you who are mothers (and pets count), Happy Mothers Day!
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TGIF 03-16-2012 - 08:15 PM
It's Friday night...my DH is at work and I am playing on the computer. Life is good, the weather is getting warmer and I got a raise today!

Just thought I would check in my sisters...I think about you often. It is wonderful to heal and move forward. I feel like so much has happened in the past year for me, and I has been a struggle but well worth it!

As always, my thoughts and prayers go out to all of those who are still suffering...please hang in there...you are not alone!

Have a great weekend!
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Been a long time... 02-17-2012 - 11:25 PM
Been a long time since I have been on the website and logged in...I think I was trying to go without thinking of my surgery for awhile. The endo was such a huge monkey on my back for so long, I actually got to the point where I just didn't want to think about it.

I am happy to be back though and I see why I checked in tonight. There are still so many women who are suffering. It makes me sad... and blessed at the same time. Sad for the women who are miserable because I understand it all. Blessed that I am no longer there.

Update on me...I am feeling great. My emotions get the best of me and I have ups and downs but that is part life too. I am taking classes at a local university to further my education and further my career. I am starting a new diet because I stopped smoking and started eating bad... My DH is still wonderful and supportive and I am sure I would not be where I am without him. Overall...life is wonderful!

I wish only the best for my fellow sisters...as always! You are all in my thoughts and prayers! God bless!
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Just thinking... 12-08-2011 - 05:00 PM
I was thinking about how far I have come since surgery and I have a few thoughts...

--I never realized how much my endo controlled my life...
--I never realized how much my female reproductive system controlled my life...
--I never quite realized the impact it had on family and friends...
--I never realized just how bad things had gotten...

I was fortunate enough to have a wonderful friend come over after work last Friday night and we had a great time just talking and laughing...she asked about how 'things' are after surgery. As I started to tell her about how great I am feeling and how much energy I have, it hit me...I mean, REALLY HIT ME! I FEEL AMAZING! Sure, not every day is wonderful but it is pretty close! Because I am not in constant pain, I have energy. I feel better physically so I feel better emotionally! I can get up, goto the store, do laundry, clean, get prettied up, goto dinner, hang out and enjoy myself, get home w/my husband and 'fool around' go to bed and do it all again the next day! I don't have to choose just one of those each day because that is all my body will allow me to do! How wonderful is that?!?!?!?!

I suppose I could look back and say to myself that I should have done it long ago...I am just old enough and wise enough to know that I needed to get to the 'right' place to finally make the choice to have it all removed. Having it done earlier might have caused second guessing. I did what I needed to do, when I needed to do it. That is the only advice I could truly give...listen to yourself and do what is right for you when it is right for you. Believe in yourself. Listen to yourself. Know when you make the choice, it is the right one for you.

At this time...I am done for the night. I think I am going to enjoy a nice hot bath, put on some comfy pj's, crawl into bed and read for awhile!

As always, wishing only the best to all of my sisters! God bless!
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Let the holiday insanity begin! 11-27-2011 - 06:39 PM
Made it through turkey day and having my family in town w/me...all of them...at my house and I am still sane!

It was a little crazy around here and I am certainly tired...BUT...how WONDERFUL to NOT have the old endo pain rearing its ugly head at me!

I honestly cannot tell you how amazing it was to simply be able to enjoy my time w/my family!

I can only hope my fellow sisters enjoyed the same. It pretty easy to guess what I am thankful for this year...having my body back! It has been so long since I have been able to enjoy time w/my family and not had pain or bleeding or...well, you all know... I had more energy than I can remember having for a LONG time and I just truly enjoyed myself!

My wish is for all of my fellow sisters in pain can have this come their way!

Love you all!
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Back again today... 11-02-2011 - 11:23 AM
It's a beautiful Wednesday here in Virginia...

I am grateful for all that I have...I am feeling pretty good. I forgot to mention that I have a UTI...after meeting w/the doc over a week ago, they did a urine test due to some trouble I was having and a little pain...turns out I had "cultures" and I am on antibiotics. No problem though...I am taking what I am supposed to in order to help the situation and the pills aren't making me sick or upsetting my stomach. All good!thumbsup:

Sunny and going up to around 60 today...I have spent the morning working on taking down the Halloween decorations and now it's time to start planning on putting up the Christmas decorations. I am incredibly grateful that I have the strength and the lack of pain in order to be able to do these simple things. Plus we have plenty of candy left over from trick-or-treat to keep me going!

Wishing only the best to all of my sisters...may your pain stay away and your healing continue!

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It's been awhile... 11-01-2011 - 06:18 PM
It has been awhile since I have been online...I have been doing well.

Here is the status...my healing in continuing...it's all good. I am working on my mental health...trying to be more positive and it is helping in a huge way. I find that a positive attitude is more than half of any battle. A good outlook creates better circumstances.

I remember when I went in for my surgery. Honestly, it wasn't even an option in my mind that my TAH would not drastically improve my health and quality of life. This attitude has created where I am now...a MUCH better quality of life. Sure, there are hard days...days where hormones and emotions get the best of me. I am working to make those days fewer and farther between. I honestly have NONE of my old pain. It has not returned. I am truly blessed by this.

I am certain that there will come a time when my health becomes an issue again...that is ok with me. I know what I have...I am grateful for the many blessing in my life and I count each day as another blessing.

I will try to not stay away so long again...I wish all of my sisters continued health and happiness!
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Ok...I am better today... 10-22-2011 - 03:43 PM
Sorry about the rant...I suppose I needed to get it off of my chest. Thank you for allowing me to do that...

So it is Saturday and I am feeling better emotionally...physically, i am not so bad either! We worked in the yard for a bit today...well, mostly my DH did the work and I cleaned up a little and put some more Halloween decorations on the front porch. It felt good to be outside, even if it is a little chilly...

I believe a big part of my problem, if you will, is that much like a lot of women I have had to deal w/so much pain for so long and now that everything is out I just want to be finished w/it. I know in my head this will always be a part of me and it will never be completely finished, but it WILL be better! With the love and support of my family and the wonderful support system I have here, I fully know I will continue to improve!

So on a lighter note...I have made brownies and tonight we are going over to the in-laws for some pizza and to hang out...I am blessed to have my wonderful DH and he has great parents as well... so here is to Saturday night pizza and brownies!

As always, I wish only the best for my fellow sisters! You all deserve it!
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Not a Good Day...a bit of a rant... 10-20-2011 - 06:45 PM
So I went to the doc today...sometimes I don't know why I bother...

The tingling/prickly feeling in my belly are the nerves healing.
Everything else I am going through is "normal"...

Here is the thing...I believe my doc did a good job on my surgery, but I have to be honest in saying that if I was not in such a bad way w/my endo pain, I would have gotten another doc. He's not awful or mean, it's just he is like most of the docs I have seen in my life who don't seem to take the pain and frustration of female problems seriously. I think that is my true problem w/all of this...

For the 20+ years I have dealt w/the pain and isolation of endo and now the surgery is almost like reliving it. I feel like people never got how much pain I dealt w/or how it isolates you (ex. when you are at a party and in the middle of a crowded room and you have a sudden jolt of pain in your lower abdomen and you want to scream out or fall to the floor, but you don't because you just don't want to try to explain it). It's years of going to doctors who tell you to take tylenol or aspirin or change your diet to help w/your "cramps"... It's years of going on vacation and starting your period only to know you are going to spend the next 24 hrs curled up in bed and not out enjoying vaca w/your family because of the pain... It's years of trying to explain to work, in a PC/non-offensive way, you feel like some has stuffed your privates w/explosives and they are being set off...

Only women who have experienced the pain understand...

There is a part of me that feels like people look at me and think "ok, you had the surgery, the stuff is out of you, you are fine now, get over it". I don't feel fine yet...sure, I feel better and certain aspects of my life have improved. I want to do so much more and my patience is def wearing thin. I know I still have healing to do, so why does my own doc look at me and say "this is normal, we will see you next July" and out the door he goes. Only to have his not-so-nice nurse/assistant help me out the door as well. I truly believe if it were not for this website I might be locked in a padded cell by now...

To be more positive...I know hormones are not so nice to me right now and I know I am healing and I know I have an amazing husband who supports me and does his best to understand and help me (could be because he has seen me on the floor, in a ball and in tears because of the pain). I also know this is temporary...I can and will continue to heal and despite all others, God is good and this too shall pass...

To all of my sisters...God bless and may you know better things are coming!
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The weekend is almost over... 10-16-2011 - 05:42 PM
...and I am here watching TV and chilling out in my bed/throne!

Had a GREAT weekend! The DH and I fooled around yesterday and even though the first few time made me a bit nervous, yesterday was much better! It gives me great hope of continued improvement and enjoyment!

The weather this weekend was really beautiful too! I cooked brownies and homemade apple pie! Turned out yummy!

Not really looking forward to going back to work tomorrow, but that's ok...work is more simple now that I don't have all of the endo pain from prior to surgery. I will take this ANY day!

Put up a few more decorations for Halloween today too...even though I am a little sore (I think I got a little carried away this weekend), I still feel wonderful. This is all a process...the tingling in my belly came back this evening, so I decided to take it easy...I will def talk to the doc about it all, but I have to remind myself of the major change and trauma that took place w/this surgery and the damage that was done by the endo prior to surgery...time is the best thing for me and to remember to take care of myself...this is all good!

Too all of my sister witches out there...have a wonderful week, I am sure to have updates soon and you are all on my mind!
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Friday Jeans! 10-14-2011 - 08:10 PM
OMG! YESSSSSSS! I wore jeans today and it was the most wonderful thing EVER!

I am to the weekend...I get 2 days off and I feel wonderful! I wore my old, big jeans, but it worked and I made it through the day in them!

My DH and I went out to dinner tonight and its time to watch the Ghost Adventurers (one of our fav shows to watch together). It been a much better week for me!

I go see my doc next Thrusday...I have some questions for him about the pain around my incision (if it is just healing pains or not) where I need to go to get a mamogram (as we all need to get checked) and some minor questions about work duties, etc. I will post what has come of it next week.

Here is to wishing all of my sisters nothing but the best! Have a GREAT weekend!
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Another week... 10-12-2011 - 02:38 PM
So last week was not so good for me, but that's ok...this week is better so far!

I work 2 more days and then the weekend!

My hormones have been better...or at least my mood has been better this week! I feel ok...the incision is a little sore sometimes, but I still think that is just continued healing. I have an appmt w/the doc next Thursday to check on my progress plus I have a few questions for him... I will def give an update after the appmt.

In the meantime, I am enjoying my mid-week day off by watching TV and crocheting! Time to start making scarves for the cooler weather to come! It relaxes me and gives me a new accessory to wear!

Until next time...to all of my sisters out there...
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Wednesday...half way thru the week 10-05-2011 - 05:45 PM
So I relaxed the other night, had a minor melt down...

and now I am a little better today...

Hormones are no joke...I also realize that my nerves are connecting again around my incision...this isn't particularly fun as I can feel it all over again. The pain isn't bad and everything looks good, but its more uncomfortable than anything. At least I know the healing is continuing...that is good!

Got some bad news after my post on Monday night which I am sure didn't help my mini-meltdown...but in the immortal words of Scarlet O'Hara (sp) "tomorrow is another day...".

Wishing only the best to all of my sisters out there! Stay strong!
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Been a while... 10-03-2011 - 05:50 PM
So I haven't been online for awhile...guess I have just not felt like it...

Don't know if it's just the weather or something else, but I feel kinda blah...

I work all the way thru Saturday this week and I am not really looking forward to it...

Maybe that is what it is...along w/the fact its pretty darn cold and dreary...

I think I am going to make a nice hot cup of tea w/honey and soak in a bubble bath!

The is in!

Have a great week sisters!
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Got to work tomorrow... 09-20-2011 - 04:46 PM
I thought I would be off, but work changed...ugh...

Oh well, I will still be off Thursday and the weekend!

Feeling ok today...took some stuff to get things moving last night and OH did they move! I woke up at 3am, 430am and again at 6 to goto the bathroom!

At least I am cleaned out for the time being...

Doing a small load of laundry and getting stuff ready for tomorrow. It will be fine!
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Monday...ugh 09-19-2011 - 04:11 PM
Back to work today...at least I am off Wed and Thurs this week...that will be lovely!

A little tired today...I find I am having trouble w/constipation on and off...it's getting pretty frustrating, but I am keeping my cool about it all.

Happy Monday! One more day, then off 2, work 1, off 2 more!
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Ahhh Sunday.... 09-18-2011 - 09:52 AM
It's Sunday, my DH is at work for the day and I get to relax and do a few things around the house....

This past week was my first full week back to work---the prior 2 weeks were a day short due to holiday, etc... I am pretty well beat! My goodness! I have found when I get too tired a few things happen:
1---I get really emotional
2---my belly feels tingly, not really sore just tingly
3---concentration is out the window and I become more of a blonde than normal!

I still find it amazing how well things are going for me post op! I cannot believe the pain I dealt w/for over 20 years is not there! I am fully aware the endo could come back, but I will take this freedom while I can get it!

I think might make brownies today...clothes are almost done in the dryer...the cooler weather has come this week and fall is on its way! Life is wonderful!
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