It has been one incredibly rainy, stormy week. Personally- I have been in heaven with it all. Otto... not so much. However his Thunder Shirt continues to get him through without too much stress.

I am realy looking foward to a weekend alone with Luv. He told me to find a movie we can see tomorrow after his hair appt. I was able to finish all my paperwork, so I am free to disappear!

Had chat with Nini earlier today. She did not have a good night at her BFs grandmothers house. She says they ride her constantly and she feels like she is being saddled with all the household chores... It's complicated there. The Grandma has her DD and GD living there PLUS Nini, BF (her GS) and Ling. I am sure it is entirely too much for someone use to living alone with her DH.

Nini says she understands which is why she has been taking on the lions share of the chores...but I guess add a ton of unsolicited advise on top of it all and Kaboom!

The Grandmother keeps telling Nini she shud be greatful Lings Dad has stuck around. (Who says something like that???!) Nini responded- 'I'm greatful to have him in my life, but he is only doing what he should be doing for his daughter....'

I smell a serious generation gap! LOL

I think Nini is moving back into her Dads today. That isn't the best thing for her either... But with just a few weeks of school left, possibly the best thing for right now.

She cried when I told her she is always welcome here- (HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY IT???) I never seen someone so homeless..... and yet have so many homes!

I am so looking foward to my FA meeting tonight.

I also was able to locate the info I got for Bil a while back- about rehabs near him. He thanked me for doing the leg work. I really don't know if he has been keeping up with his meetings or counciling. I don't feel it my place to pry. I just continue to pray.

Been feeling really good this week. No flashes or anything. Even loss a few lbs! I think it's the weather. LOL Just makes everything right in my world! LOL

Will try and do some catching up later-
Peace

I got to Moms later than everyone else because I thought getting the ballons was going to be faster than it was- so by the time I got there the house was packed. Everyone came to Lings party. Even Bil showed up. Who- BTW doesn't look good...

Little Ling was walking around when we all came in. She immedialtely ran to Otto to give him a hug- who ended up knocking her down (gently with a bump) and then whacked her face with his happy tail... she was not hurt, but rather annoyed he was keeping her from hugging him. He finally succumbed. LOL So cute.

She is so tiny and petite. But VERY outgoing and observant! She LOVED the Mini Mouse balloon. And she was dressed in a little pink Tu-tu with a flower on her head. We immediately put the special Bday hat on her head- which she liked and actually kept on the whole time we sang to her and while she ate her cupcakes, so it made for some nice photos.

I love her! And she is such a good hugger. I could just squeeze her! She loved her gifts and her face alone was worth a million bucks when she saw her Butterfly Pinata! So cute watching her pick up candies and handing them to Nini and her Daddy. Just adorable!

Mom was in her absolute glory having us all there and everyone starving. It just gives her so much satisfaction feeding us. LOL

Nini was surprised Mom had went to so much trouble decorating and all the food. Plus she didn't expect everyone to show up. She told her she thought it was just going to be a tiny thing... Why on earth she would think such a thing when she knows how are family is, is beyond me.

I wonder if all Bils put downs have gotten her thinking she isn't worthy of the familys attentions... Something doesn't make sense to me. It's like she can hear the words but doesn't believe they could be true.... I think her BFs family isn't very warm to her...
I'm not getting into it here. It's too much.

She really was genuinely happy to be with us all and I could tell she didn't want to leave in the end. I felt for her. I was glad we had a lot of time to sit together and spend some time. I love and miss her so much.

Her brother didn't make it bc something happened between him and Bil. I think Bil was punishing him... It takes everything in me to keep from exploding on Bil. I really feel like he challenges me on purpose. I did not ask him how he was making out his situation. I figure- if it were good, he'd be sharing.

I was able to call Hen and Em up and talk with them and let them know how disappointed I was that I wasn't going to be seeing them, but that we would be making all that up on their babys 1st Bday, coming soon!

Mom ended up coming home with me. She wanted to go to another Monday night Bingo on top of our usual Tuesday. We had a great day shopping and going to lunch. I won another 90.00 at Tuesdays Bingo

Our totals for the month so far are 1,000.00! Cha-ching! LOL
Peace

I have been extremely efficient this week. Today I hardly have anything to do. I love when this happens. My life is crazy, crazy, crazy busy then- the pause. Love that!

We took Otto for a very early morning walk. Luv wants to get everything ready today that he needs for Mondays Perc test and Soil logs for the new house. The engineer and the witness from the town will be here early, so he wants everything ready so he just has to fall out of bed Monday.

We have a full weekend planned. Tomorrow Luv wants me to help him pick up a used nose and hood for my old BMW he cracked up. He will be taking it off the other car and needs me to help him lift the hood. I told him as long as he doesn't expect me to get dirty I'd help.

Then Sunday is Lings 1st Bday party! (her bday is really Saturday) We have a lot of people coming to it. Just immediate family tho. Mom is making Ninis favorite- spaghetti and meatballs, with a pot of sausage and peppers on the side. I am bringing the bread and a salad. Apparently Ling loves spaghetti too. Big surprise there LOL. I have to just pick up balloons on my way. I want the big Mini Mouse and Mom wants the Big Cupcake with the number 1 on it. Mom is making cupcakes for the party. That way everyone gets the kind of cake with the kind of frosting they like. Everyone has an opinion and Mom likes to accomodate them all.

Had long chat with J the other night. She is doing better but still recovering from bronchiatis. Now her DH has it. It seems like she has been sick a whole month. It's really wiping her out. Health wise she feels like she is 90. I think she got too heady about turning 50. I reminded her- it's just a number. I mean- if your planning to live to 100 yrs, you're only half way there! So live it up!

She wants to get together, but I think it's hard for her to get motivated. She's been in a sort of rut. I just keep encouraging her to just come when she's ready. She knows where I live and 'her room' is always ready and waiting for her. She liked hearing that she has a room to get away too. lolol I think we should all have a room somewhere... sometimes just knowing you have that really relieves a lot of the stress of feeling stuck.

I want to note been having more hot flashes. They are tolerable so far. I do have them more at night than day. You'd think it would be the opposite... I wonder what's up with that? Anyone have any insite on that?

Otherwise- alls good
Peace
Peace

Today is my horse Ladys 25th Bday. After the long winters she always looks horrible. Lots of shedding and she just doesn't look as perky when she eats hay vs fresh greens. But today Luv and I went out there with our usual bouqet of carrots and a bunch of apples to sing Happy B-day to her (yes... we always sing to her) and really felt like for the first time- she is showing her age.

Luv took her out for a walk on Ottos long leash. Then let her graze in the back yard most of the day and just enjoy some free time. Free of any fences! My Mom always sings that song 'Don't Fence Me In' to her. LOL It always makes me cry that song. Is that silly or what??

I have been noticing lately that I know and associate with a LOT of old people. ( no it hasn't occured to me that I am getting older )LOL This morning we ate breakfast at the local Chat Shop and there we were in a sea of old people- and they were all our friends. LOL I got real melancholic. Made me think of all those sad goodbyes I will have to deal with some day.... It's going to be a LOT! lol Providing they all go before me- of course. Ok- that was aweful of me.

I love old people. They are real- genuine. I like that. Wish people didn't have to live a whole life time to 'get that', ya know??

Mothers Day was interesting. Mil and Sil asked me to sit in the other room with them. Usually they just sneak off there by themselves, leaving me with the men. Odd thing happened. The minute Sil walked out of the room Mil started talking to me about things in general and then brought up her older sister who passed away (I think she feels we have a connection in that we both lost a sister) and started to cry.

I went over to hug her and just try to offer some encouraging words to lift her a little, when Sil walked in and looked obviously upset that we were having a 'moment'. She asked why her Mom was crying... (I wondered if she really thought I made her cry)

Mil immediately turned off the tears. I sense she is depressed and maybe not allowed to express herself. Sil tried to change the conversation but I made a note to tell Mil it's good for her to talk about how she is feeling. She can't move foward if she is stuffing it all down.

I know there's something there....

Otherwise we had a nice day together. Kind of freakish how nice they are being to me. It's just NOT normal. LOL

Then we talked about Sil trying to get pregnant. I hate to even say it but I think Sil is doing this for all the wrong reasons. Of course I kept my mouth shut. I just pray that this all works out for them all. That's all I want to say about that. Any prayers would be greatly appreciated on this subject. Thank you.

Then we went to pick up my Mom to bring her home with us. I made plans to take her to a Bingo near me and do some shopping and lunching with her for two days. It really was wonderful. We ate at the new Japanese place and had a fabulous lunch. We also did a ton of shopping! Mom had to exchange a pair of pants I got her and ended up finding another pair and a top to go with them

Then we shopped for Lings 1st Bday stuff. We got a ton of decorations and all the party stuffs. I even got a really cute pinata that is a Butterfly. So cute! Everyone is meeting at Moms Sunday to celebrate. Nini is so excited.

Nini and I are talking and things are fine. I was happy to get her savings acct statement (I opened a secret acct for her) and see that she has managed to put quite a bit of money into it since we last talked. I was worried she was blowing her money she gets from Social Security from her Mom passing. It's nice to see some of the stuff I say to her actually sticking. She has a good head on her shoulders... but I will always worry. It's going to be great seeing them all Sunday! I can't wait!

So- I had a great time with Mom. We found a Bingo to go to Monday night around here. Only 50 people there! LOL All VERY old. (and that was Moms assessment lol) I won 50.00 there and gave it to Mom. The first caller was sooooo fast, the 2nd soooo slow. We laughed a lot there.

Then Tuesday we went to our regular Bingo near her house and we both won! Me 240.00 and Mom 600.00! So we made 900.00 total! I was so happy Mom won- she certainly could use it after all the shopping we did. Me too...

Otto was so cute when Mom stayed over. He slept with her both nights. Mom loved having him snuggling up to her. He stays close to her when she's here. Follows her all over the house. He loves old people and babies. LOL I have a theory... I think it's because they both drop a lot of crumbs. hahahaa

My FA meeting got cancelled again. I'm so disappointed. I'm thinking of looking for another group- tho I really like these people. We'll see... One guys DD got arrested and is in Jail. His wife and he have a big differnce of opinions where the DD is concerned. I think that has something to do with why meetings have been being cancelled. It's a stressful time for them all I am sure.

I'm exhausted. Lots of other stuff going on too. Been making use of every minute of every day- and it's catching up to me. LOL Lots of walking with Luv and Otto too. It's been nice. I'm hoping I can call J tonight while Luv has band rehearsals. Then again- I might make it an early jacuzzi and to bed night.
Peace

It's Bingo day I can't wait to pick up Mom and go to lunch.

We had a fabulous time at J's 50th bash. The girls did a really nice job. The food was good and the cake was beautiful. I was the ONLY person to get gag gifts. LOL Was that mean of me??? LOL J laughed so much- and cried.

J's family has a lot of babies in it. It really made us feel old. Idk... I guess I just don't realize we are (gulp) older now. I still feel like the teenager. Probably why I have issues. LOL

I had a nice time visiting with a lot of J's family. (Her family is large like mine and we have brothers and sisters who went to school together- so everyone knows everyone) Mom had such a nice time visiting her dear old friend, J's Mom. They sipped wine and gabbed and even danced! It was really fun!

Nini was noticably absent.

Nini is still NOT talking to me. It has been a challenge but I am holding out. I am not caving in to her. She has sent me some pics of Ling to (I feel) break the ice with me and get me to soften (was close) but I feel like I need to keep the boundry line firm.

My Mom called her about Lings 1st Bday party coming up. Nini said she doesn't have the money to have a party and her Dad refuses to pay for it- so...

We found that a bit insulting since we already told her we would supply her a place to throw it, and all the food. Basically she only needed to send invites and show up. I feel like she wants us to beg her... (maybe I am wrong and not reading things right???) Maybe we make things too easy for her too often!

I don't like being manipulated.

It really stinks being the adult. LOL

Well- as far as house plans go- we have got some permits under way. We need to do perc tests first. Luv and I went out and did some surveying with Otto. Who btw- loves the area we are building. I can tell the way he runs around all excited every time we go over there. (which is basically just across the hay field where we are now... so it's obvious he likes it over there) I get a really good feeling about this spot. The view is incredible!

Major storms expected tonight so I am leaving Otto home with Luv. He has band tonight.

Jop- so good to hear from you.
Marta- It's nice to have someone who has an idea of the stress of teen Moms.
Karolyn- been going to a Families Anonymous group which handles all sorts of situations. A lot is dealt with addictions, but there is all kinds of situations in our group. We are really well rounded. I love it!

Ok- few things to finish up and I am heading out. My hand has been itching like mad today. I hope that means we are going to win tonight.
Peace

Did only the bare minimum paperwork this morning so I could get my butt out there shopping. I have been on my feet for hours. What took me the longest time?? Trying on bras. Seriously- you would think I had the most 'special' boobs on the planet. It took me forever to find a bra that fit good, looked good, felt good, and didn't have 3 feet of padding in it.

Hey- don't get me wrong, push up bras have their place in the world... Just not mine. LOL What ever happened to the good old utilitarian bra?? lol

I found a great dress to wear to J's party. it's a long one. Not what I was going for...but I really felt hip in it It's black with some white flowers on it and it's a halter top.

Got some sexy black strappy heels to go with it too. I needed something shiney, so I found shoes with patent leather heels. Works great with the stretchy fabric of the dress.

Got J a bunch of gag gifts and some funny cards. Plus a serious 'friend' card to make sure she knows how much I love her. Also some gift cards and other gifty stuff I know she will love. I have to remember to put the Tatoo artists card in since I told her I would pay for her Tat We might get matching Om signs or something. :P

Noni- thanx for your thoughts. Appreciate them always. And I did not elaborate on what the fight was with Nini and why I hung up. You see it really was nothing to do with me. I was upset at how she turned on her brother and brought up a big fight between him and his father. She was very out of order and when I told her that she started to get loud and defend herself. I simply hung up. I am not about to let her get mouthy with me, like she does with her Dad.

Then she fired off a text to me saying she wanted to pick up her things. THAT- ticked me off! I felt very hurt by that after all I did for her for 10 days... ( I'll spare you the details) I probably shouldn't have hung up, but when I tried to calm her down she got louder.

I'm just hurt. I'm also hurt the way she left her room in shambles and the bathroom. I mean- to me the way she left things was very disrespectful of my things. I asked her to keep her areas neat. I don't expect her to scour or clean...just keep tidy. She left for what was suppose to be for a week, a mess I would not have left for a night.

Ok- so after two days of no conversation she texted me a 'Hey' today. I did not respond, nor am I. I guess I need my space and some time to really think about things. I didn't have one day of not being mad at her since she left after being here 10 days and having a beautiful (tho exhausting) time with her and Ling. How could that be??? The way her and her BF left things here to go to my Moms for Easter was rude. (knowing they weren't coming back for a week)

I don't need that. I feel like it was incredibly unfair to me. But I really only have myself to blame. My meeting lastnight was great. It opened my eyes to a few things. I need a lot of work. All this stuff with Bil and the kids has really reopened a lot of old wounds for me too. I'm working on that.

My next step? I think I am going to pick up Mom, go to J's party tomorrow and have a fabulous time Then Sunday I am meeting an old Yoga friend who may be thinking of renting Luv and me her house while we build the new one. Still trying to figure out how we are going to do all that stuff... Oh- and as for Bil and his whole situation?? I think I put enuf info in front of them all to find help for themselves. It's really in their hands now. I can't do it for them all. They're smart- they'll figure it out.

I noticed she put on my wall on FB that their fish Wish that she got her Dad for his Bday died. I can only imagine with all the dramas and such, they must have ALL forgot to feed him :/ (that REALLY ticks me off!)

Sorry- I'm angry
Peace

What a wild weather day we had. We were in a Tornado watch and it turned so black here. I could barely enjoy it cuz Otto was glued to my side. If I had my way I would have sat on the porch!

I have to note- That Thunder Shirt we got Otto is amazing! He doesn't get nearly as scared as he use to. No more shaking and cowering. It really is fantastic. Highly recommend to anyone who has a pooch who is terrified by thunder and lightening. But he did stay close to me as I got ready.

Over slept (yeah- me Miss Upat5ameveryday) I woke so many times from Luv watching that stupid ID investigations show. Unreal. If I wasn't too lazy to get up and find the remote I would have shut it off... anyway- it made me sleep through my dental cleaning appt. Lucky for me they rescheduled for this afternoon.

Now I got nice shiney tooties! And no cavities!

Tonight is my FA meeting. Cannot wait. One of the guys I talked to today said he had a really bad week. I hope everythings Ok with his DD. I didn't want to ask him over the phone when he's at work. She is a Heroin addict. So sad.

I am looking foward to unloading some junk myself tonight.

Nini has not called me back yet since I hung up on her. I'm sorry but she deserved it. She told Luv she would be calling me today, but I know she had school too... personally I would prefer she gave me some more time before calling me. I'm still a bit aggrivated about the whole situation she had with Henry. She was wrong. Dead wrong. And I know she knows that. She has already told me once before she hates to admit she is wrong to him. Well- this time it's important that she does.

As for me- I don't have a problem with them not liking what I have to say. They know me- they will get it straight from me. I'm not one for coddling and tippy toeing around situations. And right now Nini isn't getting her way. Sorry kid. So- let the clock run out on this one

Somebody has to be the grown-up and say 'No'.

As for J- I am at a total loss for a gift idea for her 50th! I can't believe I don't have a clue what to get her. First- it's hard because she has EVERYTHING. Most shop-a-holics do...

And what the heck am I going to wear??? I bought an outfit but am exchanging it. It's not me. Luv likes it but I have to feel natural in my cloths. I just feel awkward in it.

I have to pick my Mom up either tomorrow night or Saturday morning. Not sure what best to do with that either. She is looking foward to seeing J's Mom again. Our Moms have been missing each other. And I am guessing Nini isn't coming now with Ling.


Peace

Load going on lately.I can hardly keep up with it all. At least I can't complain I'm bored. (though that would be nice once in a while!)

Got call from Henry. Nini went home Easter Sunday night so her BF didn't have to make another trip to pick her up for school a few days later and already there is trouble down there. I had hoped Nini could keep her eye on the prize and just get through this week without all the drama...but no.

I was trying to load groceries in my trunk when it all began... First I heard Henry's side, then I called Nini (sorry but I hung up on her...) then I called Bil. I prayed he would take my call- and he did!

We had THE BEST talk we have had in a long time. It was good for both of us! I got some real honesty out of him- and that's all I ever want from anyone. Just be your real authentic self- warts and all...be straight up. He was- and I think it was really good for him to have SOMEONE he could let loose to without painting a pretty picture for fear of being Judged.

I was able to express some things I was feeling too and it really did my soul good to hear that what I was thinking WASN'T what the truth was.

I think he was choking back tears in the end of that conversation. He even told me that although he was really embarrassed that I called his Paster and his wife about him- it was the right thing to do... and he isn't mad at me about it, that he is really angry that he let himself get into this situation again with the alcohol.

It restored my faith that he will get better. May take a while, as he has a lot of work to do, but at least he is admitting to himself he needs and wants a change. I pray every day for his strength.

The kids are a hodge-podge of broken pieces that need mending. Bil has set Nini up with a good Psychiatrist to talk with. She really needs this. Bil says she can make her own appointments and all. It's all set up for her and she is free to use it to her full advantage. I hope she does. So far she has not made any attempts to go to any meetings on her own with what I set her up with. And she hasn't even made any attempts to seek and Ala-teen meeting. I know it's hard... but she needs to pick up the ball. I can't do everything for her.

I don't know what he plans for Henry, but I know he is more involved now and not just avoiding. Henry has really matured a lot this past year... That's a good thing. But he has a ways to go too...

Me- can't wait till my meeting tomorrow night. I so look foward to it. We laugh and have a great time and the people there are very helpful. It's a great feeling to be in the right company, to be with kindred spirits.

J wants to come to the meeting for her DD who is an alcoholic, but I am reluctant to tote her along. It would be different if it were central to both our houses and she could get herself there, etc... but I would have to bring her, and she is late to everything, and I am not prepared to slice myself any slimmer than I already am right now. I left things in her court- if she really wants to go, she knows the time I leave my house. I am not rolling out a red carpet every week asking if she's coming... I won't turn her away if she shows up, but I am not micro managing for her either. (sorry if that sounds harsh but she has stood me up causing me to be late before by cancelling last second)

Luv and I went to look at a house to rent in case we run into time shortages with building the new house. It's a pretty big house we saw today, with a really nice built in pool. Plus it's close to the house site we are building so it would be really convenient for us. We'll see how that all goes. There's another house to look at that Sil found us on the internet. Yes...I said Sil. Sil and Mil are really opening up and being 'normal' for a change. Hahaha Don't worry- I am keeping a bit of space around me. Sil is trying to be helpful and it's nice to see the old her again!

Bingo was fun with Mom lastnight. No winnings but we laugh so much there. Luv wants me to take pics of all the peops I made new friends with. He likes to have a face for the names. I told him- better to come meet them in person. They would LOVE to meet him.

Got Ottie back home! My family spoiled him rotten. Now I have a rotten doggie. lol Wouldn't eat his food today. Waited for something more 'gourmet' to hit the bowl. Sooooorrrry- not gonna happen. He didn't much like getting his teeth brushed either. How quickly he spoiled!

It's so hot here but I like it. It's like a warm blanket to my soul right now. My hair, however is about 3 feet thick! I wish I had managable hair. I am so jealous of those who can actually have a hair style.

Well- it's time for me to get comfy and cozy and chillax!
Peace

Realy looking foward to getting together with Mom today for our Bingo night. And I can't wait to see Otto. Left him there on Easter Sunday so I didn't have to back track after visiting Luvs family. It was a good thing too because the Tstorm was horrible on the way home.

I have to say I have been in a constant state of feeling like I lost something. Keep thinking I let him out and forgot to let him back in. It's aweful!

My brother and Mom are spoiling him rotten. Making him eggs and toast for breakfast, ice cream at the park, and hamburger and rice for dinner. My brother is having a great time with him. I wish they could have a dog at their place. They really would love it.

Nini is staying at her BFs families for the week to save gas/travel back and forth since we had a holiday in between. The house is quiet. It's a nice break. The past 10 days have been action packed with Ling and taking Nini to the Library to work on her research project. Can't believe how much work little babies are. How quickly we forget all that diaper, bottles, naps stuff. It makes me feel my age. LOL Makes me want a nap! Hahaha

The latest with Luv is he watches this ID Investigations. I absolutelty hate it! It's story after story of people getting abducted and murdered and how they find them and find their killers. I just hate it! He keeps warning me everywhere I go to be careful. He is actually freaking me out a little about it and I have told him to stop but... he continues.

So he tells me I should not leave Nini at the Library alone so I can do food shopping, and that I must stay with her. So I did. And was I ever glad I did. This older man (bit older than Luv) kept talking to her and staring at her while she worked on the computer there, so I walked over to her to let him know I was watching and she was NOT alone... and then he turned his attentions to me.

It was creepy! Then he followed me and Ling to the back of the Library saying he knew we were there bc he saw Lings Dolly sticking out from the book shelves... wanted me to know I could ask him for anything... help around the house, he could answer questions for me....

I snapped what's your name and where do you live? He gave me a buisness card (which was what I wanted) and I said 'Oh great- I'll give this to my husband and have HIM call you!' That put an end to all that nonsense.

But it creeped me out. I told Luv and he said he had been having nightmares that Nini and I were getting abducted and he was searching for us.

Moral of the story- I got to get him to stop watching that program. But I am aweful glad I didn't leave her alone in that Library that day.

It offered a great conversation about safety and being aware of your surroundings etc.. etc.. with Nini. Made me realize how naive Nini is. She has a lot to learn.

Oh well- I have a few things to do around the house before I scoot out to Moms. Luv has band rehearsal tonight.

It's a beautiful day out there. Suppose to be in the 80s! I'm wearing a dress!!
Peace

Where to begin?

I joined a support group It's a small group of about 6 and I absolutely love everyone. It's been extremely helpful.

Lots going on with Nini. She and Ling are basically staying with me now. It's been a long road... Bil is half heartedly in treatment. He is VERY mad at me for helping Nini and basically forcing him into it (uhhh that's his opinion...not a fact)

He and Nini had another fight and she slugged him in the mouth and got arrested. The police said they HAD to arrest her bc of his bloody lip. (Luckily she is a Juvenile and charged as such)

The Police really helped her by doing that though. Bil is OUT OF CONTROL! Things are really coming to a head.

So- basically, she and Ling live with me and two days a week she going back to meet her teachers in the Library to finish her school year out. Bil doesn't want to make anything easy for her...(or me) soooo- it's been a bit much but at least she is calming down a little.

It has been extremely hard on her. She loves her Dad...she doesn't want any of this...but there is no other way.

Lings Dad has been a tremendous help too. He and Nini are very close and work very well together for Lings best.

Who BTW happens to be doing very well and is an absolute Dolly! She's a petite little thing, so adorable. Starting to walk and a handful.

I feel very blessed to be able to help them. But it has been a little shock to my routine, to say the least.LOL Luv is just adoring having them here too. The girls really are very sweet.

I continue to pray for Bils well being.

Henry and his GF are 13 weeks into their 2nd pregnancy and doing very well. There is a little drama there (they are living with Bil) but they say things are working out well. I am not so sure I believe all that....but I can only go by what they say.

J's 50th surprize Bday party is this Saturday. I havn't even shopped yet. I hate being so last minute! But it couldn't be helped. Her DDs have everything under control and really wanted to do the whole thing just the two girls- so I am excited to see what they have done. My Mom, Nini and Ling will be coming with Luv and me. Woo hoo! Party time!

Mom and I are still doing our tuesday shop/lunch-dinner/bingo nights. We haven't won since my last 250.00 and her 880.00, so as far as we are concerned we are due! LOL

I miss everyone so much! I almost hate FB for side tracking us all. LOL I really feel it somewhat a waste of time and kind of begged off it. So- I will pop in from time to time but...I am realy ready to commit more to here.

OH! We are starting with the house plans. The architect is drawing them up and we are reviewing things. We are going with a ranch! It's still pretty big tho...I'm trying to tweek it down a little. I just can't keep up anymore! Ling uses every inch of this house- and trust me...it's a lot of house. I'm sorry but I can't be a slave to my home like this anymore. I am so done!

I am really loving the ideas we came up with for the new place. I'm very excited. Luv is hoping to have us all in it before Xmas. Hmmm we'll see. Things aren't like they use to be anymore with regards to permits and inspections. They have stalled building considerably in NJ, so we have our work cut out for us.

Otto is very well! Just LOVES Ling and all her droppings! I swear he thinks she is a walking snack dispenser. He is very gentle with her. We watched him take her teething bisquit ever so gently... Ling didn't give it up too easily tho. She's learning not to wave snacks in his face now. LOLOL

The cutest is when he waits for her to drop some dinner from the high chair. He stands, waits- then sits thinking that's what she's waiting for. Nini is so impressed with his obediance.

And Ling is always hugging him around the neck. It's getting to the point he rolls on his back and tries to get her to scratch his belly when she's coming now. It's just so precious. I have to post some pics of them two.

We had a lovely Easter this year. Even Luv sister and Mil were very friendly this year. I had a really nice time talking with them. I just don't get what makes them so hot/cold all the time. And I am learning not to care!

So tired. Luv been working a lot too at our shopping center so we are both just exhausted. But we still manage to see a movie! lol And then we are restored!
Peace!

Noni- I think ur right. LOL So glad ur still in here!

Well- turns out Ninis friend is NOT pregnant. However the girl still refuses to get on birth control. Nini and I had a long talk about it all.

Brought us back to our conversation about how I told her I didn't want her hanging with this girl... and gave her the 'sleeping with dogs' excuse. Nini retorts with ' hoping MY fleas jump on her!'

Well- now I have altered that to say your choice of friends is kind of like going to the dog park... While not always, it's more than likely your going to get a little poo on your shoe... Of course she laughed at me. Heck even I laughed. I just want her to surround herself with strong, positive and productive people.

Noni- Otto is going on about 6 years now I think. But then who knows... All dogs in the pound seem to have an avg age of 2yrs or 5 yrs. LOL

Also- Bil is NOT in any program yet. He is pretty far gone and with his diabetes I don't think he cares about much right now. Lots going on there right now....

And with Henrys GF- she is not taking any advise either. So I have to pull back and just see where things go. I know she was VERY concerned of what I had to say about it. I told Nini to just tell them I said Congratulations and leave it at that. She has a Mom and a Dad. I am not worried.

A new Thai/Japanese retuarant opened near our house and the food is fabulous! Luv and I went to lunch there and had a great time. I'm excited about it.

Mom and I had a great time at Bingo. I won 250.00! I love our Bingo! lol We went and did a little shopping before hand and then went to lunch at our Italian place. They make the best pizza and have the freshest salads. Just love it!

J's DD is getting ready to make plans for J's 50th surprize bday party! It's kind of difficult for her with J yelling at her all the time. Idk how this is going to work out. J has some huge problems going on right now. I think the timing is difficult for them all right now- but I admire the kids trying to do this. They know I can help anyway possible, but I think they really want to do this on their own.

So she asked me for some of our old friends names. So many people have moved away and we have lost touch. A couple are on FB... so that helps.

OMG- almost forgot! Sil (yes- Luvs sister!) is going to a firtility Dr to get inseminated. She is 40 years old now and still not having any luck finding anyone to settle down with- so she decided she is going to do this on her own.

I can hear in Mils voice she is apprehensive. I mean- we all know about Sils epic drinking binges. All I can say is send out some prayers.

Ok- I am off to get some things done today and hopefully catch a movie with Luv.
Peace

Sorry I havn't been on here lately. Just having so much dang trouble with my PC that I lose all patience and quit. I just don't have tons of time to spend waiting to get on...

Little update on Nini-
Her 'friend' is having the baby. Turns out it is a different guys baby and he want her to have it. This girl is just swinging to anyone who will have her. It's incredibly sad.

I don't like how it has Nini all busted up crying for her. And then she goes back to her old druggie friends and drops Nini again! Noni- thanks for the reminder about being an enabler... You always are spot on! Love that!

Nini is pretty boring I guess as teens go these days. She really enjoys spending time with her baby. Nini always enjoyed walking the malls, trying on things and this is something she likes to do with ling. Luckily she has a few friends who enjoy going to lunch with her and Ling and spending time like that.

Bil- well he has been one step foward, five steps back. It's very difficult.

A little news on Henry and his GF.... they are expecting AGAIN! I was incredibly disappointed to hear that. Probably why they had Nini tell me... they must sense I wudn't b real happy. I mean- things are hard enuf for them all and they irresponsibly go and do this.

We will welcome the new baby- of course! But I have little else to say about it.

Karolyn- Ling is going on 10 months and Little Henry is going on 8 months.

Ninis and her exBF are still raising Ling together. He wants to get back with Nini- I don't know how things will turn out, but he is there for the girls every day. He is a wonderful father. I have to give him that much credit. And he keeps trying to please. (personally I enjoy not liking him lol) He always tells Nini to tell me he says Hi and he loves me. I always respond with a growl and then tell Nini tell him I love him but stop saying Hi to me! I think he 'gets it'. I jsut don't trust him anymore. You can't lie to me and expect my total trust the next day. What I gave freely the first time around will now have to be earned. Good Luck with that!

Been doing the Bingo routine with Mom. She won 140.00, then I won 175.00, and last week she won 600.00! I was so happy for her. She needs the cash. I teased the fireman who paid her that it was going to cost exactly that much for her ride home. LOL

Luv and I celebrated our 28th anniversary by getting tattoos. He got a P on his ring finger and I got a V on mine. Mine is much smaller and has little scrolls on either side to look more like a ring. I don't know how we ended up doing that... but I have to say we are both 'talking' about what our next tat will be. I wouldn't be surprised if I end up with a full sleeve. LOL I told him I was a 'all or nothing' kind of girl...

His band played out friday night. We had a lot of fun. The drummers wife is giving horseback riding lessons to the GF of the new drummer for the 'new' Guns-N-Roses band. What a down to earth guy. Nothing pretentious about him. I love that! He gave love some very nice compliments. So the old guitarist (G's father who btw will be 8 soon!)is back and not much has changed with him I am sorry to say. He was lack luster on stage. I was almost thankful the lighting was so poor so he didn't show up in the video I shot.

There is definately a confidense issue with him. He is one of those people who is either incredibly unsure of himself or sure to the point of cockiness. Either way it just makes Luv and me want to turn away. It's painful to watch. I suggested he try some grounding poses in Yoga. He wears the symbol for Om around his neck. Not sure if he grasps that though.

J, my bestest friend, is having problems galore. I didn't even invite her to Luvs gig. Her DD is dealing with a DWI charge and there's a good chance she may have to do a bit of time in jail. J is hoping she does- to teach her a lesson since it is not her first offense and she continues to drink and drive even still. It's very upsetting. She has a little girl. They also said she may have to do 3 months on house arrest. J is furious. Obviously they are not getting along at all right now.

Few other things going on also- so we have been logging a lot of fon hours. J asked if I wud take a yoga class with her, so I found one that I feel she cud comfortably handle, but I really think she is 'stuck'. She is overwhelmed and finding it difficult to commit to anything. So I just keep her options open for when she feels ready to move. She has a lot on her plate and only she can organise how she will deal with it.

Spring is coming! And I am readying to start a cleanse.

Otto is wonderful- getting a few more white hairs on his face, but as sweet as ever.
Peace

Last nights meeting was horrendous. We were there till 11pm. We had our experts there giving testimony and the public (a few) can ask questions of them. I guess people just don't listen anymore... Get out of the tunnel people!

We are making progress but the board is NOT supportive at all. In fact I feel they are hostile.

Makes me seriously want to consider other options for a variety of things.

Then when I got home I got a text from Nini. It came the second I sat on the bed to go to sleep. She was crying and all upset. She has a 'friend' with some problems.

The 'friend' is actually a girl who my sister took under her arm long ago when Nini was about 5 yrs old. They went to school together. The girl had no Mom (in Jail for stealing) and her Dad is not the best.... well- shortly before Nini got pregnant- She got pregnant. She ended up terminating the pregnancy. Nini was very distraught over her choice- but they remained friends. Well sort of- Then the girl got pregnant again (same guy) and had the baby. Nini thought they could help each other out and would remain friends but the girl doesn't treat Nini too good...

The girl made other friends who didn't like Nini (who has a goody goody reputation of not smoking or drinking) so this friend actually told Nini NOT to say Hi to her in school anymore... or they won't be her friend. Nini went along, thinking she will soon see they aren't worth it.... and Nini had hoped her friend would stop hanging out with the 'druggies'...

Well- now the girl is pregnant again! Same guy again!!! And she wants to terminate this pregnancy and wants Nini to take her to the Drs. I guess this is suppose to happen this week.

Nini was suppose to come to our house this weekend and now she has told my Mom she can't because of her friend. (she did not tell my Mom that she is to drive her friend to the Drs...) Soooo- I just found out from my Mom-she isn't coming. I am really disappointed.

And I am really not happy about Ninis friendship with this girl. I know she has known her a long time... I know she wants to 'save' her.... but I just really wish Nini would walk away from this one. I don't like what this girl represents.

I told Nini 'if you sleep with dogs you wake up with fleas....' and her retort was ' well... I am hoping my fleas will jump on her!'

It's giving me a headache. I am going to have to put my hands in the air- any words of wisdom???
Peace

This has sure been some winter huh!? I've had it girls! LOL

Luv has been working a lot at the Shopping Center getting one of the stores ready for a new tenant. We had to build a wall b/cuz they didn't want so much space... It's been real tough here in Jersey. So many places STILL going out of biz. It's scary.

With him out of the house and out from under my feet I have been able to tackle mountains (and I do mean mountains) of paperwork that needed filing and some files that needed to be destroyed to make room.

Lets just say if anyone is having trouble paying their heating bills- I might be able to help you out with that! LOL I have enuf paper to heat my place for a month I bet.

Seriously- my recycling guys must hate me right now....

Oh- so Happy Valentines Day!
Luv got me red roses and a cute Teddy Bear named Romeo with a cute outfit fit for Shakespeare....LOL The card was the best- Had two little kids on the front saying 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours.' LOL

Funny thing is I got him a card that had two little kids on it too! They were on tricycles kissing, and it said 'So glad I bumped into you.'

Cawinkydink or what??!

Otto went to Vets today for some shots and chk up. He is 73.8 lbs. I don't understand... When I got him he was 61 lbs! And he STILL looks thin to me- and to everyone else.

The Vet says he's good. All muscle... not to worry.

His teeth cleaning (that I would like to schedule soon) is going to cost us 210.00! I thought that was a lot. I mean- I brush his teeth, and they look good. I know they have to knock him out but really...???

OH and she stuck him like 6X's trying to draw blood. I was getting really mad. Otto doesn't flinch a bit- in fact he just sits there staring at his arm while she does it... but Luv and I were ready to say- 'Come ON already! The dang vein is sticking up so big... how the heck can you keep missing it!?'

I swear she does it on purpose sometimes. Since she was attacked by a Pit in her office once.

Then she made a comment that ...'at least he is fixed so he can't make anymore Pit Bulls.' Ok.... now Luv was getting noticably aggrivated. I reminded him that there are just toooooo many in the pounds. I have to agree with her. But Luv just didn't like the conversation while she is taking care of him and he was being THE BEST patient she had all day (according to her staff)

Give a Pit the compliment witch!

I have plans to have Nini and Ling up the end of this week. She has friday and monday off school- so we are picking them up thursday as soon as she gets out of school.

Bil- although he can be incredibly cruel with his choice of degrading words he uses on Nini (when he is drunk- yes... still drinking here and there) he has also been very helpful to her, taking up some of the slack from her EX bf. (don't know if I mentioned Nini is moving on from him- all good!)

Her EXbf still sits while Nini is in school- but that is just till she can get Ling into the daycare she wants. A good friends Mom runs a place with a nice group of woman that Nini and Bil really like. Then Ex bf won't be forced to just take work from 3pm on... I must say- he is wonderful with Ling though and very much is a hands on Dad- and will remain that way. Luckily Nini and he are on good speaking terms and want to stay that way for Ling. It will certainly make holidays and parties a whole lot easier- and they both want that for her.

Tonight we have a town meeting to attend with out attys. I'm sick of it- and it isn't over yet- NOT by a long shot. I need to get my big girl panties on and stop whinning! LOL

Mom and I made it to Bingo last week! She won 140.00, but even better than that was the smile on her face when I picked her up to go to lunch at 'Kissy faces'. I told Luv about it. LOL He rolls his eyes.

Also- we got the Xbox fitness games and absolutely LOVE them. We can box and play all kinds of sports against each other. It is so much fun and we laugh so hard doing it. Lets just say I am a bad @zz Boxer! LOL

Got to go... will try and catch up tomorrow!
Love and Miss you all!
Peace

Trees are gone- Amen! LOL I feel so much better with that done.

We got some more snow and then some freezing rain. Plenty more to come tonight. It's really been a pain dealing with the weather. I almost forget what it's like to have a warm sunny day.

Otto on the other hand seems to be digging the snow- no pun intended, but yeah... that too. lol It's fun walking him in it. He is so excited all the time. Loves jumping in the deep stuff and tunneling like he has something trapped. That would be his Terrior I guess... Been staying on our property but it's plenty enuf workout for us, with the hills and all.

Noni- thanks for the warning about the doggie- er umm privates. Otto is scraping by with that... but so far no battle scars. hahaha gosh- the things we talk about in here.... LMAO

Mom called me- and even knowing how horrible it is out and how bad it is suppose to be tonight all she could say it 'WELL- I guess we can't go to Bingo- Can we??!??' Seriously- I think I have to find her a Gamblers Annonymous group. She isn't even funny anymore. I'm sure being shut in since Xmas is really taking it's toll. My brother has to drive her everywhere, since she won't drive even on the cleared roads, but obviously that is not enuf.

Today I am going to vaccuum- which is quite a large chore in my house. I will be soooo happy when this house is sold. I'm done cleaning it! Too much! Should all be going through this spring. Fingers crossed! A Dr is buying it and going to turn it into a rehab facility for people with tramatic head injuries. A very high end facilty. I am sure it will be beautiful when they renevate the rooms to accomodate the amount of beds they want to have.

As for us- we are still thinking... and I am thinking ranch! LOL
Peace

Please- oh please pray I find the strength to take those dang Xmas trees down before Feb 1st! LOL I think I would rather have Noni's dental work than take those trees down. LOLOL well- close anyway. This has been one LOOOOOOONG month!

I spent the day making Lasagne for our worker and I also made some cookies and a big batch of Granola for me. My hands have been working like crazy all day. I'm so tired from standing this whole day.

It's raw here. Sun barely peaked out ,which is really fine with me, except it's cold! And we are expecting more snow this week. I think it's coming in Bingo night- uh oh.... lol

Luv is still shoveling us out from the last one. He just cleared two feet of snow off our balcony over the front porch. It was a lot of work! Otto and I cheered him on from the house.

So our worker Bs Mom had her Appendix burst on her! She went to work , not feeling too good... and pow! Now she will be spending about a week in the hospy. B and his brother are home to fend for themselves. Probably would be more than happy to live on beer and cigarettes. But thanks to me they won't have to.

Luv was suppose to meet with Guitarist to have a talk- but Luv just doesn't feel like meeting with him. He told him to jsut come to rehearsal and they'd talk then. I don't have a good feeling about this guy coming back. Nor his GF who unfriended us all on FB. LOL Seriously- how immature!

We'll see what happens... but I agree Marta- they shud really reconsider this. OR- definately air all the reasons they all wanted him out so bad before and se if he is willing to adjust. I don't even like the sound of that...

Oh and Baby Henry is NOT sick it's his Dad-my nephew, who is better now Everyone is doing well there right now.

J is another story...
Her DD is planning to have a surprise 50th for J this April. I am so excited about that! I just PRAY I don't spill the beans. I almost did already... I have to be real mindful not to say something. And I hope she doesn't ask me if I know anything. I'm not real good with lieing either. This is going to be hard for me. I wish she didn't tell me yet! lolol I know J will be so happy with the surprise- please don't let me ruin it. She needs this!

Oh and Noni- I am not thinking I want to do yoga with the group any more. I miss everyone for social reasons, but not for my practice. I am really likeing doing what I am doing now. They don't like to meditate and I can't help but want to do that after my asanas now. It's really shifted for me a lot. Many of the woman in our group are just in a different place in their practices than I am (naturally) but I feel it would kind of hold me back... I flying solo and likeing it better right now. Maybe in the Spring??? Some woman have dropped their practice altogether too. Luckily we are all friends and have other interests too that keep us in contact. Do I sound selfish???

Ok- got some tidying up to do and then I am hitting the sheets for some TV time.

Ok...so it's been 10 yrs I quit smoking. I'm proud of that. I always thought it would be so hard. It wasn't. I used the patch and was a piece of cake. Funny how annoyed I get at people who huddle doorways making me walk through their clouds. It stinks! It stinks bad! I hate it getting in my hair.

And I feel so much better.

We have these soft liitle flurries right now. Luv is barking at them. LOL We have had more than our share and it aint over yet. My Mom claim this last dumping is great snowman making snow. She loves to test the consistancy ofsnow cuz actually most snowfalls are not good enuf for making snowmen. Whodaknewed...

Otto is turning into quite the little guard doggie...well sort of....lol Luv was out feeding Lady in his jammies with a big coat and hat on and Otto started gruffing and running through the house. I let him out and he bolted to the edge of where Luv shoveled for him and then stopped.

Apparently he wasn't annoyed enuf to climb through mountains of snow to investigate. And then Luv growled at him- trying to see what he would do... well he leaped up and then turned around and came back in the house to me. LOL Maybe he thought I shud investigate. LOL

Oh and funny thing we noticed today. Otto had a growth on his chin removed by the Vet a while back. Shortly after we noticed another one just under his nostril area. (we thought Uh oh... he's gonna be an ugly one when he gets old hahaha) but today Luv noticed it is gone. He swears he did not have anything to do with it- no picking or anything like that. And I believe him cuz he didn't want me having the one removed by the Vet... Well- I am jusy happy it's gone bcuz I had no intentions of having it removed since they had to use Silver Nitrate on Otto last time and I know he felt it because he pulled away. (It burns- I had it on my vaginal cuff) So I am happy about that.

OH and Luv is suppose to be meeting with his old guitarist that he threw out of the band. He has been calling and calling wanting to talk and get back in the band. I am very apprehensive about it, but I do miss his little daughter G. I just pray it all works for the best.

Have a few errands to go run around and do today. And I still have two X-mas trees to take down. Luv keeps balking to leave them up. I like the lights too... but enuf already!
Peace

My sisters 3 yr anniversary of her passing is today. I miss her. I got to talk with Nini for (I am embarrassed to admit) 2 1/2 hours lastnight. She brought up my sister a lot. It was good for both of us to be able to talk about her and remember some good times. Nini really wishes she had her right now to ask questions about Ling. There's no one like ur Mom when you 'need'.

She took a little video of Ling playing with the ducky bath. She's not afraid to touch it now. LOL

Henry is still sick. The baby and his Gf are fine though. Nini thinks his GF is a little strange sometimes, but they get along good enuf. I worry the two babies will be a competition between them. Henry's GF seems to be very vocal about how she thinks she is the better mother. I chuckle about it now- but am vigilant that they don't go astray bcuz they could be a very good support to each other if they remain respectful. Luckily Nini is tolerant and takes all advice with a smile. I reminded them both that all advice comes from love- at least, that's how they should view it. If they don't agree- just smile and move on.

I also spoke to J. She is very scattered. It's getting hard to understand her sometimes. She hops from subject to subject, talks loudly, and doesn't seem to want to listen to anything. I am kind of letting her run on a bit when we talk cuz I feel she needs to unload and unburden herself. When you get like that you really aren't able to take any more in...

Her DD went to court about the DNA testing she wants to have done to prove to her grandmother she is in fact her sons daughter. It's messy though and not pleasant at all! The Judge asked where J was and why she wasn't there to help sort things out. I sense J is embarrassed and doesn't want to deal with it all- or can't. Yet she wants her DD to have what is hers. It's going to get a lot uglier before it gets better. And I am afraid the damage has been done to prevent any type of relationship going foward between her DD and her Grandmother. I'm sad for that.

J's lawyer also wants her to file bancrupcy now. It's going to be hard... I hope she is getting good advice, but I have my doubts. She says she got this Lawyers name from an advertisement she recieved in the mail. Ok.... that worries me. I am trying not to be too opinionated right now and it's hard. I can't explain it- but I wish her DH was more involved with her. They are like two trains passing in the night.

I'm trying to hold a positive mind when I speak with her. I know she needs support right now.

On flightier issues....We got about 18 inches here of snow. It's just rediculous. Luv has been cleaning out all morning and no sign of getting done soon.

Otto is totally loving it. He had to take leaps, all the way, to get to Ladys barn. She has no intentions of leaving her warm bed filled with fresh hay to snack on. LOL

Have to get Ottos new lisense for 2011. Think I will try and do that tomorrow.

OHHH spoke with Garden friend. She invited me over to make a snowwoman! LOL She is doing well. I think it's time to try to get the old Yoga group together for a pot of tea soon. I also saw another Yoga friend at my Drs the other day.

Did I mention I don't have any sinus infection? Just need to sleep with humidifier and change an over the counter med from Decongestant to Expectorant. So far- feeling better.

Bingo was fun tuesday- I won 25.00 and got an invite to go to a different place that is actually closer to me. Mom said she would like to try it. They have different nights that you can go so that will help when we have weather conditions that prevent us from making our tuesday nights. Mom almost looked relieved. LOL This winter is kicking her butt with being stuck in. My brother said she is baking for the neighbors now... LOL
Peace

Well I just realized I missed my hysterversary. It was Jan 20th and marked my 6 years from surgery. Feel like I need to make a note here how I am doing with regards to that.

Though I had a few hot flashes (very mild) I really do not suffer from them. I had a very brief experience with vaginal dryness but- my Dr felt it had more to do with all the rounds of antibiotics from my sinus infections and the sinus surgery. Right now- everything is back to what I know as 'normal'.

Have put a few lbs on- but then I always do that with the holidays and winter in general. I am just thankful I don't live in a primarily winter area... if you know what I mean

I haven't noticed anything else. Keeping vigilant, and my Dr says to just ring her up if I notice changes I need to discuss with her.

Aside from my sinuses I feel great. I really feel my Yoga helps me more than I could ever know. And I just LOVE meditation and could not exist without it.

The 21st- Nini turned 17 and got her drivers lisense.

The 24th- My brothers 14th wedding anniversary.

The 25th- Luvs parents 54th wedding anniversary. (not sure if I shud or ); LOL well..... sorrrrrry.

Today, the 26th, is my Aunts Bday (she has since passed away) It is also the day my Grandfather (her Dad) commited suicide many many years ago. And the day we chose to bury my Dad, who is buried with his father.

Tomorrow, the 27th, is the 3rd anniversary of my sister passing from Breast Cancer. It feels like it's been a hundred years ago to me. Why??? People always say '...it feels like yesterday...' Well it doesn't to me. I feel like I have been missing her FOREVER. It feel long. Like it happened in another life... I could scream sometimes.

The 28th is the tenth anniversary since I quit smoking. Another thing that feels like a million years ago. Still like to celebrate that! ;D I was proud of myself for that- yet must admit, it wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be and that was a little embarrassing. What a stupid habit. And I was so stupid to think I couldn't conquer that sooner.

Lots of snow coming down right now. My plan is to bundle up me and Otto and go out for one of those silent walks on the property. It's so peaceful. Think they are calling for 10 inches of peace. LOL

Missing Henry and Nini and their chillens so much. Bil asked if there was any way I could consider moving to the shore area... like in the house next door. LOL He has no idea how much I wish we were all closer. Unfortunately our work is here right now. I just have to get there more often.

Oh- picked Mom up for lunch and Bingo yesterday. We have a situation............. the guy who always flirted with Mom at the Pizzaria we go to for our Pasta Faggioli, well- he kissed us 'Hello' again. Mom blushed- and when he walked away, she said- 'Uh oh.... now he thinks because he kissed us for the holidays, he is going to kiss us every time....' I laughed so hard. But you know- I think she is right. She thinks he planned the whole thing out. LOLOL

I am a kissy person anyway- so I don't notice such things. LOL But Mom swears- he is trying to wiggle his way in. LOL Okaaaaay- maybe that didn't come out right. Ahahahaaa
Seriously- I am sure it's innocent and he just is a friendly guy who likes that we come in every tues like clock work... you know- steady customers.

Mom is so silly and such a girl of the 50's.

Speaking of which! My brother in So Carolina made me a copy of all those negatives we found in Moms photos and we got the most FABULOUS photos of Mom and Dad! All pre marriage pics. They were so young and adorable. Lots of kissing pictures! Can't wait to show Nini her Grammy when she was exactly the age she is right now.

Mom was able to identify a lot of the people we didn't recognize. One was my dad at about 16yrs old. Such a cutey! I can't wait to get in touch with my brother and fill him in on who is who.

Makes me so mad I am not more of a picture taker. I need to stop living a little and take a darn picture!
Peace

My PC is acting like a constipated snail- so I pray I can get this down.

Nini got her lisense!!!!Woohoo! LOL It was calling for yet another snow storm in Jersey for her bday. She was so upset. The guy who was taking her for the test said not to worry- she was getting her lisense no matter HOW hard it snowed! LOL And luckily we just had rain at the shore area.

Luv got another 6 inches since we are west coast. Ugh.

Yes Noni- I told her about her Mom buying me beer, but that it was a LONG time ago... LOL She was not surprised. haha

BTW Noni- Ling is 8 1/2 months right now. Kind of petite but VERY active. ( I am horrible with ages and names- always was. I think we shud all have Indian names that make sense hahahaha and lets just forget the whole age thingy.

Anyway- I had THE best time watching Ling all week. She is such a good baby. And such a pleasure to be around. She smiles at everyone. And claps! LOL Bil has really taken to her and is being a better help to Nini.

I bought Ling and Little Henry each a ducky bath for them. Little Henry LOVES it, and Ling is scared of it. We put her in it (without water) and she crawled out so fast and looked back at it as if to be saying 'Don't do that again Ducky!' She was NOT happy. LOL

I got to spend some time with Henrys GF and baby too. We went shopping and to breakfast. Was soooo nice to get to do that! Henry got sick so I didn't get to see too much of him. He was running high fevers...

Otto stayed home with Luv. He wouldn't part with him. It worked out good. He took him everywhere, but mostly plowing! LOL Yeah... it snowed here like every few days! Enuf already!!!! And we got more coming!! Ugh.

OHHHHH Big news- My nephew does NOT have cancer! It turns out it is a cyst. And apparently they are treating him for a seizure. I know he had one when he was a child...something on his brain they were watching, but not heard anything of it since. We aren't in good contact with this nephew- though I got his number and have been talking with his wife alot. I am thinking something isn't all 'right' there- with him...that he was telling everyone it was cancer. I'm not at the bottom of all that yet... but thankful it isn't!

Karolyn- I hate that stupid pop up thing at bottom of this screen too! Wth! Get rid of it! Stupid thing! Arg... And I am hoping to make Bingo tomorrow- but they are calling for you know what.... lol Mom is going to scream! LOL

Marta- Aunt Lizs son cracked her car up and I notice he isn't doing anything to get her back on the road yet... but as far as I can tell- they aren't really addressing anything with her. I don't understand...but I don't have to either. I have my own Mom to deal with. So I just pray about it and put it in Gods hands.

J is sounding so down lately. And she has not seen a councelor, nor will she. She always finds excuses of why they don't work or are no good.

I think if you aren't ready to admit to yourself you have a need- it's useless anyway. And she is not there. I know she is getting very depressed tho... and this winter has NOT helped here.

Marta- as for Nini coming here to live- she is not doing that right now. She is pulling straight A's at school and really has a tremendous support from her teachers and the staff there. I got to meet some of them- they are wonderful! Things are a little better with Bil and she is a wonderful Mom to Ling!!!!! So she is quite happy right now. That's all I could hope for her.

She knows I am right here if she has a need.

Ok- I will catch up with you all later. I have mountains of laundry from Luv and LOTS of housework to catch up on.

Tomorrow I go back to Dr for a sinus infection. Got it at Ninis- it was so hot in the room at night and no humidifier for me bc they were using for Lings room. It's my fault for not planning properly. I forgot my meds too... Now I pay the piper. :/

Miss you all! Muah
Peace

Ugh... I can't seem to get on here and post without losing it all. Very frustrating to write a long thing and lose it!
Don't ask what I am doing wrong... lol

Been a crazy month.
Lots of snow and blustery cold is keeping lots of people in. My Mom is going stir crazy. She doesn't drive in the snow (heck she can barely drive in the sun lol) so she is really getting a tad witchy.

I missed last weeks Bingo with her b/cuz of it. And she hasn't baked for Bingo since all the cookies for the holidays. She's baked out right now. My jeans thank her very much for taking a chill. LOOL

I think Mom was actually mad I wouldn't take her in the snow storm. But no matter how great my car is in the snow- Luv was NOT letting me drive an hour away for something like Bingo. I was happy to be grounded.

Lots going on...my sister had a bunion operated on and is home healing for a few weeks. She is so happy she had it done right before all the snow. Now she doesn't feel guilty about missing work. She wud have missed it anyways.

Spending lots of time burning up the fon lines with J. Ithink she is going to try and file Bancrupcy. I am worried about her. She has an addiction to shopping that is unparralled by anyone else I know. I know it's a great deal of stress. I just hope she is dealing with people who can really help her. And NOT just getting her out of financial trouble.

She has been sending me texts throughout the day that kind of worry me. Saying things like- 'Thank you for being the best friend in the world...' etc... Not that we don't say that to each other- just not on a daily basis. IDK- I am keeping in close touch with her.

My Aunts party was cancelled till this weekend b/c of the snow. Well- can't go now. I am packing and food shopping tomorrow cuz I am going to Ninis Sunday for a week.

She has been really missing my sister (her Mom) I am sure it's the holidays and and the fact that her anniversary of her passing is Jan 27th.

Also- Nini is turning 17 on the 21st of this month and getting her drivers lisence! She wants me there for it. How could I not when it was her Mom who helped me get mine!

I just promise not to buy her a beer like my sister did before she goes for her test! LOL Hey- it was a long time ago, things were different then. LOL

I am looking foward to babysitting for Ling while Nini goes to school. She is getting so active now. Really got the whole crawling and climbing up down good. Not trying to take a step yet though. Not even if you hold her hands. She sits right down.

I hope I can help Nini baby proof the house a little better too. It's time for certain things to get done immediately!

Not sure if I am taking Otto with me. Luv wants to keep him but I am afraid Luv will leave him alone too much. He spends a lot of time rehearsing, both with and without the band. Plus I think Lucy would LOVE to have him. Nini says Lucy has been not happy since all the snow. She hates to go out and she is getting stir crazy. She needs attention and Otto LOVES to give it to her. LOL

Bil is really looking foward to me coming down. Nini says he is working hard trying not to drink. He is with a councilor and it's helping. He needs a rehab- but that isn't possible with his job commitments.

I am just happy he is at least admitting and trying. It's aweful when someone just does nothing!

My nephew who has cancer (now not sure if lung cancer or breast cancer) is on some treatment but not abiding by the rules. Things are quite serious. I will know more when I get down there. He also lives in the shore area- so I hope to see him when I am down there.

Aunt Liz- I can't even get into it. Furiating and frustrating! It is also making Mom very irritable and causing her to lash out. If I had my way- I would refuse Mom to see her. But I can't do that. My sister and I have our hands full!

My sister is going to my other Aunts holiday party tomorrow with Mom. I told her to stay close to Mommy and be ready to do damage control.

Luckily a lot of Moms other brothers and sisters will be there. Everyone has a clue what's going on with Aunt Liz, but her family is NOT getting her help and well- she certainly isn't going to do anything because she thinks she is fine and EVERYONE else is nuts!

Never a dull moment.
Okay- so if I go silent- you know where I will be. I hope to be back by next Sunday the 23rd.

Will prolly say some ta-tas on FB before I go. I don't think Ninis computer is working at home...so doubt I will get on. Guess my 'Pet' will have to sit it out in the pound. LOL
Peace out! Till then muah!

Really missing the kids

Luv and I tried to catch a movie today. We had 30 mins to burn so we went to Walmart. He found a very cheap computer he wanted to put in the band room for them to pull up music fast... well- it took us FOREVER to get the guy to ring it up. Then FOREVER for him to figure out how to take off the security thingy. It was nuts!

All that made us late for the movie, which I was then too tired to go to anyway. LOL

Was invited to my Uncles house for a holiday party (enuf already with the parties...) It's Moms brother. It's suppose to snow this weekend so doubt I am going to go. Plus Luv is suppose to go to NY saturday night with the drummer. I am thinking I just want to hang home- but then it's not saturday yet... I could change my mind by then.

I got the whole house clean and all the laundry done. Only thing left is write some bills and do some paperwork, which I am doing tonight. I kind of feel like I am setting up nicely to cuddle in bed with Otto and watch movies or read a book this weekend. And if it snows- the deal could be sealed.

Band is getting together tonight so need to get some things together before they arrive. I like to be up in my bedroom before they start playing.

OHHH strange thing happened with Otto today when I was on the phone with my Mom. I always let him out loose with a collar on of course...to go to the bathroom in the back yard (which is quite big) next thing I know he is barking his head off while on the little patio near the back door. I ran to chk him cuz he NEVER barks- ever. Lady even came out of her barn when she heard him.

His hair was standing up on his back and he looked very serious staring into the woods beyond the horses caroul. I didn't see anything. But he would NOT stop. He was even making little charging motions in that direction. I went and got Luv.

When Luv went out he started to run and charge the horses fencing- still barking a very throaty bark in the direction of the woods. Luv called him back. He went to Luv but would not take his eyes off the woods.

Lady went back in her barn and Luv brought Otto in with him. We never figured out what it could have been. It was either a hunter or a bear. Everything else doesn't bother Otto and he doesn't bark for anything... so- it did make me a little nervous. But we never did find out what it was.

Usually if it's a hunter they will call to us letting us know it's just them. My back property connects to a preserve, which is very wooded and there are a few hunters granted permits to hunt there. They don't shoot near the property line but sometimes walk the perimeters.

Oh well... just made me wonder if Otto IS a watch doggie after all. His trainer said he wouldn't ever want to test him. LOL

Ok- bands starting. Over and out!
Peace

Picked up Mom early yesterday. She had a gift card to use and wanted to do a little shopping before we went to Bingo. I had a few things to return that Luv got me so we made a point to head out early and get all that stuff done.

Well- we hit several stores and I can honestly say neither of us could find one thing we wanted to buy. I'm not huge on shopping anyway, and it just seems to be even harder when you are trying to do it. lol

We tried-

Now I have Moms gift card cuz she said she seriously would not even go back to the store anyway. I figured if I don't use it maybe we could give it to Nini for her Bday the end of the month.

Bingo has been packed the last few times we went. You would think with the holidays and all- nope. It reminds me of going back to school after the weekend. Catching up with all the people who you don't call on a daily basis. lol I really love going. We did not win anything this week. Don't know if I mentioned I won the door prize last week, which is a couple of dabbers, some free games, free specials and a 5.00 coupon for the kitchen (which is like having 20.00 bcuz everything is 50 cents. lol)

I'm getting a little sick. Might be sinuses. I'm trying to take it easy but you know how that goes.

Went to meeting at Attys today regarding the project. We might possibly be sub dividing the lot I am on now to make another building lot for us to build on. Luv showed me a spot he is thinking of and I like it!

Ugh- I'm just not ready to start all that yet! I havn't even finished closing out 2010 yet and getting all those things filed and boxed up. I have too many pots on the styove right now....

Going to chill-
Peace

I am coming off a fantastic weekend! Had 21 peops for NYE partay, two dogs and two babies. I had the best time!

Luv got Mom early and the kids came in around the same time with the babies. OMG...those babies are just delicious! I can't even stand how cute they are.

Bil came shortly after that with Lucy. Otto was soooo happy to see her. Of course she snapped at him and hurt his feelings.... but he soon forgave her. lol Luv just rooled his eyes at me. Well.......

I had all the kids and Mom cooking all day. It was a blast having everyone working together. Not to mention exhausting- even with all the help.

Nini made her first lasagne (actually two) and a couple of dips. Mom made a beautiful spiral ham, Henry and Em made broccoli raub and pasta and the baked beans. I did a stuffed pork tenderloin. Ninis BF did cheese, grapes and cracker platters and the crudite. Bil supplied all the champagne. Everything came out beautiful!

Mom had so much fun. She really enjoyed herself talking with all the band people, and they loved her. I am so glad b/cuz she deserves that. Bil and J's DH hit it off and exchanged numbers. Bil thanked me for insisting he come. J always is a tremendous help- I swear I could not have a party without her. And all our friends are just the best fun!

New Years Day- the kids all wanted to hit the mall- so we left Grammy with Nini's little Ling. Ling has a cold so she was all boogery. So funny her trying to eat her boogers with her tongue.... We would all scream and run for tissues. Sorry- funny how adorable those things can be. LOL And she is crawling and standing and just into everything.

Baby Henry is unbelievably sweet. Still pretty much stays where you put him. Amazing how much you appreciate that. LOL But you should see how excited he would get for the dancing Mickey thing Bil got him for Xmas. It was just adorable.

I cannot believe the amount of food we all went through. It was nice the next morning on NYs day I made a huge breakfast for everyone.

I was so happy to have the whole weekend with all the kids. Bil and J left NYs day. So Mom and I were able to concentrate on just the kids and really enjoy them and the babies. You would think we had our fill but we didn't. waaaah

The most special moments were:
Nini snuggling up on my lap like she did with her Mom a thousand times.... she told us how much she missed doing that. It bout busted me and my mother to pieces.

Little baby Henry and Ling in the bed with us in the morning so we could let the kids sleep in.

Ling and baby Henry making pee pee on my bedroom rug while we let them air out a bit. Tee hee. I love having those naked tush's out!

Nini and her BF running around the yard like a couple of- kids. LOL well...you know... lol

Grammy doing the hoola hoop on the Wi fit. Hahahhahha

Luvs NYs eve kiss at 12:00


I am truly blessed to have such wonderful family and friends (present company included) and feel completely alive.
Peace

So much going on with me, I don't even know where I left off or where to start-

We sold the shore house. Had to move a ton of stuff out of there. I hate moving stuff. Another reason to vow not to buy another thing! Where does all the 'stuff' come from?? Luv is feeling remorse about it- feels like we never got to use it enuf.
I say good ridence!

I am finally all clear from the Otolaryngologist. Tho I am still having some ear discomfort and upper sinus puffiness, he says I am still healing and to give it a few more weeks. I only have to call him if I get an infection. So far- so good.

Other than that- been feeling very good and nothing else bothering me.

Aunt Liz has hit a new low. Now she is saying that 'someone' (that would be my sister) has taken her knitting from my Mothers house (that Mom had taken from her) Seriously! She is really ticking us all off! We have pretty much told Mom to stay out of there. She is saying nasty things to Mom (who is devistated) like ' Those cookies you baked are aweful and no one is eating them- Don't ever bring any here again!' Yeah- she's off her rocker. It's so sad.

I did a little Xmas shopping pretty much two days before Xmas. LOL That's how I roll. No stress here. LOL

We all went to Moms Xmas Eve- like always. She made a fabulous dinner and we really had a wonderful time with the babies. They are just adorable. And no...I didn't take a single picture- too busy loving them and trying to get a word in edgewise. It's chaos and I wouldn't have it any other way. Nini and Henry and their SO's are taking very good care of the littles. I am really very proud of them all.

Luv got a nasty call from his Dad while at my Moms. He didn't take it. So Xmas day- when we called in the morning to wish them a Merry and ask what time they expected us- they didn't answer their phones. Nice and mature huh?? Sil later apologised when Luv said he would remember that the next time she calls us at 3am from a Police Station...

When we walked into their house we could cut the tension with a butter knife. Luv whispered to me that next year we aren't doing this. I'm sure that is BS.... but it was heaven to my ears as I am sure was to his lips saying it. LOL

We had a little unexpected upset Xmas morning here. I went down to make a cup of tea and when I came back up to the bedroom, Luv was in the bathroom. I went in and burst into tears. He was wearing a robe, that has hung in our closet for almost 3 years now, for the first time. It was my sisters. Actually she bought it for Henry (who never wore it) so she did, and Nini gave it to me when we were packing her things away.

It just felt like a big jolt seeing it.

Luv was so apologetic and said he didn't even know why he put it on... He said maybe your sister is just trying to say Merry Xmas to you... It just blew me completely away for a moment. It was good for me be/c I was starting to stress about Inlaws and all that- and it felt like her way of saying this day should mean more to you than worrying about that stuff... It got my head on straight before I had to go over there.

I really had a beautiful Xmas. Luv and I picked up my Lil brother Xmas Eve morning and being there and seeing all the ones who were spending the day without family really made me appreciate that we are able to get my brother and have him with us.

He stayed with Mom the whole weekend and was pretty good, though he didn't sleep much for her. It doesn't matter if he does or not- no one sleeps anyway. Just have to keep an eye on him. I don't know how Mom keeps up at 75yrs old. I swear she is stronger than me sometimes.

So the plan is I am having a New Years Eve party. Luvs band members are coming and I am having Bil and all the kids. And of course Mom! (well- we need someone to cook! haha) Nini said she is surprised her Dad wants to come. She said he has been trying very hard with his drinking, getting some help and all, but he has a long road ahead of him. I just pray he finds his strength.

OH! And best friend J and her DH are coming for New Years too. I am so looking foward to seeing her and spending some time with her.

So- I have a lot of cleaning to do and food shopping. Joy-joy. It will be nice when it's all done!

Otto is well and he is going to have a visitor for New Years too. LOL Lucy is coming. She has to- though I know Luv is NOT going to be happy about it be/c she is worse than ever! There is absolutely no training in their house. So I will have my hands full I am sure.

I don't even want to tell Luv about her coming... I may play dumb and just be like ' Oh??? They brought her???!' LOL I know I'm bad- but I just don't care about dog hair for one weekend! We can vacuum it all up after- right!? I just hope she doesn't go to the bathroom in the house. I will never hear the end of it.

Happy and Healthy New Year to you all- in case I don't find my way back here. I pray it will be a prosperous year for everyone. Thank you for being such wonderful friends and sometimes the ONLY support system I can truly rely on. I love you all from the bottom of my heart.
And lets not forget PEACE!

Where did I leave off?

I had my one month after surgery chk up with the Otolaryngologist- I have a sinus infection in my upper sinus, not the ones he operated on. Said it's very common. Everything is connected... so it's just being cranky. My ear also is bugging me, he said that's my tube, from doing nasal washing. Otherwise- everything is looking good in there and healing nicely but he warned I have another month to go, so to be patient.

I was put on another antibiotic and steroids. Plus he gave me a different nose spray that is better for me- not as much alcohol in it...more moisturizing. Holding off on nasal washing till things clear up. I will be seeing him Dec 23 again.

Sil cancelled her court date. She needs an attorney. No one is talking much about it- as it is the dirty little secret to be kept from Fil. Whatever...

We went to Sils Xmas party last night. It was quite small. No one showed up from the family except me and Luv. I mean NO ONE. All the cousins and Mils two sisters did not come. They had other plans. Have no idea what that's all about... The party consisted of two friends of Sils and her neighbor, the parents high school friends, a few distant relatives from Fils side, and Mils cousin.

Luv and I were BORED out of our gourds! LOL

Luvs brother was noticably absent. No one could reach him either. Weird. I am sure he will get an earful today.

The food was good but not as good as Sils usual. I can tell her heart wasn't really in it. Understandably. However it did not stop her from drinking.

After the party (we left early We went and met Luvs band members and their wives to chk out another band. It was a lot of fun. I heard they all got pretty smashed. They planned ahead and got a taxi to drop them off and take them home.

I wanted to stop in at another party we were invited to at one of my yoga girls house, but it got too late. I really wanted to do that too.

I am thinking maybe I will have a party this year for New Years. It will probably be our last in this house, so it's probably a good idea. We'll see.

Mom still has her crazy drama going on with Aunt Liz. The knitting is still missing and she is still insisting Mom has something to do with it. It's just rediculous.

Her one son is a Dentist, and goes to her house everyday to chk in on her. He works only blocks from her house. Yet he and the other brother don't seem to want to aknowledge something is wrong with Aunt Liz. Tho Mom knows from things they say to her they have their suspicions. I get the feeling they want to just sweep this under the rug.

My Moms brother thinks the kids are trying to get her found incompetent- so they aren't going to admit to too much for fear someone will step in to help defend her.

It's just nuts. I asked my Mom to just keep out of it. She has another older sister who could really use her help if she feels the need to take her baked goodies and whatever to someone. (My Mom needs 9 more children- she is like a lost pup trying to negotiate how much foods to cook anymore)

Today it is so rainy! Perfect day to take in a movie with Luv and maybe hit Chinese or a salad somewhere.

I have a few decorations left to pop on the tree in the dining room. Living room tree is pretty good. Yes- did two this year, but they are smaller artificial ones. I love them! Going to do a few Xmas cards and very little shopping (as usual) I got the babies- of course. I always get the littles in the family, but not sure what to do for Mom or my sister. Luvs family- have no clue what we are doing there.Might do little baking, but just enuf to drag us through New Years and that's it. lol

J is finally feeling better. She has been hit with one sickness after another. I told her we will get together after Xmas. Like New Years! Lots going on with her DD who also got a DWI. J has been fighting with her terribly. I sense she is very worried about the whole Ovarian Cyst the dr wants to remove in January. It's the size of a small orange but J wants to leave it and just watch it for a while. The Dr is concerned of it bursting. She just doesn't do well with surgeries... so I understand. It's not easy to know what the right things to do are- and she doesn't have the confidense or history with her Dr that I have with mine- so I 'get' that she is undecided.

I just wish she would use my Dr but it's not close and convenient to her. It's really her choice.

So- I am off to take care of Otto, who is doing very well I should add. lol Such a little love he is. Oh- I got offerred a Pit Bull from a woman I know who does rescues. She need to place one immedialtly and asked if I could. I declined- I told her my commitment is to Otto (who did come with an agreement that I NOT get any other pets in the household) and with the time they need and the amount it costs to properly care for them, I really wasn't interested.

Luv said with the way Otto is such a big part of our lives- all that would change for him if we got another dog. We couldn't take him EVERYWHERE like we do now. They wouldn't fit in my car. Plus, Otto is such an affection hog (as most Pits are) he doesn't feel it would be fair to Otto.

And after the three of us crammed in the bed lastnight to go to sleep- we thought, where the heck would we put another??

Nope- We got our boy and will care for him till the end. Then- who knows... I could probably bet I will be getting another
Peace
... or maybe I could start that sanctuary.... ssssh

I totally shut down this past weekend and I must say- it was lovely.

Sunday was little bros Xmas party at the 'school' (as my Mom likes to call it) where he lives. My Mom, Luv and I went. We had no idea what to expect, as we have never gone to one before. I have no idea why...

Well we got there and they sat us at a table for 4 and we waited for lil bro to come out. He was dressing. We thought it odd he wasn't dressed yet. Other family members for other clients came in and were seated too. A few of the clients were walking around talking to everyone, asking who we were- stuff like that. Some knew us from picking up lil bro, and they come running and hug you. It's very sweet.

When my bro rounded the corner we nearly fell over. He was all dressed up in new cloths with new dress shoes too. He looked very handsome. And he had a huge smile.

He immediately started introducing us to some of the staff and clients. It was so nice. He really seemed proud. And not only did he tell people our names but also what we do for a living. LOL The staff really like to meet the families and see how the clients behave around them. I was very proud of my brother. He made sure we met everyone and you kind of got a sense of family among them.

One client came up to us and told us that my brother teases him a lot and cud we ask him to stop bc it gets him frustrated. My brother apologised and told him he was only kidding but I cud tell how my brother was laughing. He enjoys taunting him. Then the client introduced us to his 'Italian mother' and told us they were goombas. LOL His Mom was rolling her eyes laughing. It was cute.

Another clients Mom introduced herself to us. Her son rooms with my brother and said they were getting along well and she was happy to learn he was with my brother. Apparently they sometimes argue and clients rooms need to be changed around from time to time.

Another client who was just so jolly his smile was infectious! He LOVES the Beetles and shared a lot about them to us. Yet another- is a pretty severe case, but his two sisters came and it was so nice to meet them. We encouraged each other of how much a handful they can be but that just endears them to you all the more.

It was very interesting to see how my brother interacts with them all. He jokes with them. I get the sense he thinks he is 'normal' and they are all 'handicapped'. And on some level I cud understand that. My brother is quite sociable and quite witty. We all got a kick observing him.

We enjoyed a big dinner of lasagne, ham and meatballs. It was nice, then we had cake.

We took my brother shopping for (what else?!) CD's and headphones. I had brought him a new Rock shirt too. Stopped for coffees on our way back to the party that was now moved to a big hall all decorated with a Xmas tree and had a DJ playing music. They served more treats for everyone there too.

Many of the clients were dancing and all running up to everyone and talking. They were all happy to have new cloths on and be dressed up and having a party with their families there.

I pulled out my camera and started taking a few shots of my brother with us and of him by the tree and with Santa (who was another client LOL) and EVERYONE wanted there pictures taken!

So I spent quite a bit of time playing photographer. They loved it! And talk about posers!

One girl came up to me and wanted my coffee and I felt aweful saying No. She didn't understand and kept persisting. Then my brother got up and came by me and put his thump up and told her to 'Get to steppin... No- you can't have my sisters coffee.' She moved on. Luv said they must know how to deal with those kind of situations and it looked like my brother takes no business from anyone. I thanked him for helping me. He explained she always wants everyones drinks and you have to tell her NO.

We stayed for almost 4 hours. It was so nice talking with the staff that are hands on with my brother. They said they enjoy when they have him bc he keeps to himself, listens to his music and pretty much listens good. And he always askes them about their families and seems genuinely concerned about them all. I could tell they do get attached to the clients. I guess how could you not??

When we were leaving, my brother was happy to get out of his cloths and into something comfy and go listen to his new music. We left feeling really good and our hearts full. But I have to say- those 4 hours felt like 10 when we finally were driving home. We were exhausted.

Luv and I hit the bed early, and good thing we did- cuz we got a call from Sil at 2:30am... she got DWI and cud we pick her up?

I cannot tell you how upsetting it was to get that call. But to hear how Luv took it- you knew it wasn't like it was a surprise. We always knew it was a matter of time.

Her blood alcohol was a .236 (I think that's how they say it) Drunk in N.J is .08 So she was almost triple the limit. I later heard from my cousin that you can die at .250

We picked her up and she was still a mess, even after being there for several hours. Said she was on her way to our bar, which is very far from where she was. Like an hour away... we just THANK GOD she wasn't hurt OR hurt anyone else.

AND Mil doesn't want us to say anything to Fil! So we all have to keep it a secret.

She is suppose to go to court tomorrow night. I was thinking of offering to go with her, as I am sure she has nobody to go with. Unless, of course, she cancels.

Sil and I had a little time to talk alone before Luv woke the next morning and she made some excuses about how she only had two glasses of Pinot Grigio. Does she think I am an idiot??? I think she was suggesting someone put something in her drink. Yeah- everyone always wants to drug her... There is never any responsibility taken.

Luvs family is incredibly toxic. And we are suppose to go to a Xmas party there this Saturday. Did I mention I am getting a serious ear infection??? Yeah... I am going to the Drs tomorrow about it.... (that's my story and I'm sticking to it)

Went to Bingo with Mom and she won 200.00! Probably will buy more cat food for the strays with it. She refuses to stop feeding them. I can't do this....

Aunt Liz STILL insisting Mom has her knitting. (Karolyn- I am throwing you to the dogs! LOL and telling her it's YOU! LOLOL) Her sons are being very evasive about the whole thing. Like they don't want to deal with her. Nice huh??

I'm tired. It's cold. And I just want to keep to my self a little. I am not even calling the kids much. Just texting little things. I just need a break for a bit.
Peace

It's friday- and it cud not have come a minute too soon. This week has just done me in.

I think I am going to pull a 'Don't call me- I'll call you' weekend. Just seems I am constantly putting out fires and well...I am tired of being a firewoman.

Unless I can torch something.... Can you tell I am agrivated?

And Luvs sister keeps calling with dates she wants us to spend with them during this month. I mean- come on already!

On a good note- Got my mammo report and all is well ( well, they always have a disclaimer with that haha)

Hmpf- I am a downer.

Going to find a good movie to watch and put on something snuggly. I am tired from running with Luv all day. (which was really nice- minus all the blasted drama phone calls)
Peace

Mom went to Aunt Lizs last tuesday and two nights ago she called Mom to tell her (not ask) that she took her knitting bag (by accident of course) and needs it back.

Mom said- don't have it... check you house better.

Long/short- she went into accusation mode and got my Mom so upset she called me yesterday morning about it. I was able to calm Mom down (I mean- it's silly after all...) and when I got home from my hike with Luv and Otto- I had a 20 minute (no exaggeration) message left from Aunt Liz basically saying ' Ur Mom took my stuff can you search her house for me, she refuses to admit she took it, and call me immediately- this is urgent!'

I called her and told her to chill, it will turn up, and my Mom doesn't even know how to knit or anything like that- so why wouldn't she return it if she inadvertently picked it up and took it home???

She exploded she has to have it! I cannot find it!

OMG- I tried everything to calm her- nope she was on a roll. I suggested she have her son stop at my Moms and he could look for it- or bring her to look. It is NOT there. And why does she think her sister wouldn't return it???

She exploded again! And hung up on me.

When I went to pick up Mom for Bingo I had to tell her about the call. I was a little upset telling her bc everyone has been worrying Aunt Liz has Dimentia or something... and it did upset her.

I tried to just have a calm conversation bc my Mom was really upset now for her. I told my Mom to let her sons handle her. I will talk with them when they come up bc they hunt my property.

My Mom was very quiet the ride to Bingo. We had left early to stop for coffees bc I wanted to speak with her alone about another 'problem'.

My Mom cannot have pets in her apartment, so started feeding a little stray in her yard. Well- just over Thanksgiving she discovered she now has 5. My sister and I started talking about how we can get her to stop before she has 105- and WE have to deal with it.

So my sister got info from local authorities on the matter and I went to SPCA where I got Otto. Both said try to get her to STOP immediately. She will be responsible for any stray she feeds- even if it is wild. So if a neighbor complains (which I am sure they will eventually) she will have to trap them and they will be destroyed bc they can't rehabilitate them. Kittens will be kept- and they will work with them but adults cannot be made tame.

OR- she can trap them and pay for the snorfleing (at 60.00 and that is discounted fee) and release them back into the wild- away from her house.

The SPCA gave me a chart that shows how prolific two strays are and said they would welcome her to come to the shelters to feed, pet, care for whatever...as a volunteer (which is basically what she is doing anyway)

Mom sat very quiet listening and looking at my papers. I know it was upsetting to her- she loves this one big cat- who is big from all her care, and now she has to turn her back on it. She did say she understood though and would stop. I just wish we weren't going into winter with this bc it will make it extra hard for her to turn them away.

Then I tried to lighten the load by saying 'You don't want to end up on that show hoarders do you???!' LOL She laughed at that- but I know it's going to be hard for her.

Then we went to Bingo and just relaxed and had a great time- that is until Nini called me asking if she cud call the police on her Dad becuz he threatened to kill her if she didn't get away from him.

Wow- so much for relaxing!

I told her NO- wait till I hear the whole conversation AFTER Bingo, we cud talk. Of course there was a whole lot that led up to him saying that... Nini went to her BFs house anyway- so she was fine. We had a good talk and will contiue that today, I'm sure, after school.

Today it is POURING! I cudn't be any happier! Pefect stormy day, it's balmy out... I am putting on my rubber boots and Ottos rain coat and we are hitting the trail- and both taking a long hot shower after that!
Peace

I got a lot of paperwork done today. I am hoping to spend a whole day filing the 2010 papers in cases so as to make room for 2011. Hate that job! But it feels soooo good when it's done.

J and I had a LOOOOONG talk yesterday. lol It's aweful when we get a few days away from each other. She is still sick with a sore throat. It is making the rounds in her house. Fortunately she had her DDs helping with Thanksgiving.

She is upset she has gained some wt. I promised to help her get back on a yoga routine. She doesn't do well working on her own at home. So I told her in January (after all the holidays) I will make a commitment with her to get her to a group.

She also got her results from her DandC. No cancer! Thank God! She was threatening to burn all the houses down LOL if she got cancer again. That was a lot of stress on her waiting for those results...I am so glad that is behind her.

She is, however, suppose to have an ovary removed that she does not want to do. But she is dealing with that after the holidays. So we shall see how that will pan out.

I went for my mammo. Had the same lady Nancy as last year. Noni- I don't know why but she reminds me of you. She just has a way about her that makes me feel like I am with a friend and fully supported. She had a lot of positive things to say while taking the pics. She also said it probably was a good thing I had a hysterectomy, as far as helping things out with regards to my breasts. I figured that.

I really felt pretty good today. The place is beautiful- all painted pretty lavendar with beautiful drapes and Luv loves the coffees you can fix yourself. Always the best mags too, lol.

After mammo- I went into another room, with another tech for my ultrasound. She was a woman with a strong Ukranian accent. Very plain woman but very informative and friendly. I liked her. She said she did not see anything at all on my ultrasound to raise any concerns about. I have two small lumps under my right arm that have been there for... I really don't remember how long. They have looked at them before- they are nothing. I just want to make sure they stay- nothing. She said to have them removed is sort of not worth it...with them being so close to lymph glands etc... It could cause issues with adema (? swelling in my arm) if I mess with them. But the Dr will advise me on that.

She also said my right breast is denser than the other. Nothing to be concerned about- we aren't asymetrical anyway. But that's the first I heard that.

So now I wait for the results of both.

Tomorrow is Bingo. Yay! Mom is practicing baking her press cookies. She always likes to do a trial run before the holidays. Guess we will be bringing them to all our friends at Bingo. I think I will bring a yogurt. LOL I am done eating. Ugh. LOL
Peace

Noni I did know that men can get breast cancer. In fact I know more than I care to about it, but then I am in a position of need to know.

My nephew had a needle biopsy. That was how it was discovered he has cancer. He has since been back for further tests.

The test I will be having is to chk DNA. It will be a blood test. And I am not sure I would say I was scared... Just because you don't have the BRCA 1 or 2 gene does not mean you cudnt have some other gene that just hasn't been discovered yet. And having the gene is no guarantee u r getting cancer either.

I guess I feel I am in the same boat either way.

My sister- having had breast cancer and being through all that... is very scared.

Sooo- Thanksgiving at Moms was a packed house, as usual. Everyone came at the same time too. Usually people come at different times so we kind of go in shifts, but not this year. It was fun though. And the two babies were wonderful! The girls dressed them so cute.

Mom did a turkey and a ham. I did all the carving and I must say- dang I'm good! Mom had said she was going to cut back on some of the sides- but no... she actually added some, and good thing she did bc everyone was starving!

My Mom let the kids decorate her Xmas tree. She has it ready with the lights on and they were so excited to do it for her. It looks... well... it looks like her loving grandchildren decorated her tree. Lets leave it at that! LOL And Mom doesn't want to change a thing. LOL

After a great day there we went to Luvs family. The greetings are always cooler there but I wonder if it isn't just their insecurities that get the better of them. I was on too high a note to be touched by it.

Luvs brother brought his son who is about 20 now. I noticed no one gave him any attention so it gave us a nice chance to chat. I know his Mom since high school, so I asked all about his family (somethings inlaws cud care less about) and we laughed and talked for quite a bit.

Mil and Sil stay true to form. No surprises there.

AND this year they waited for us to eat dinner. Again- never telling us what the plan is... we walk in blind. Luvs brother walked in a few minutes before us. I wonder if he got a memo??

Dinner was nice but very quiet. Fil trying to fill the air with his old stories. Mil really has a way of making people feel unwelcomed. And Sil seems to follow her lead. It's too bad because everyone is just crawling to get out of there.

I'm sorry- it just doesn't need to be that way. It breaks my heart for Luv. I try to act like I don't notice. They all seemed very tired so it afforded us a good reason to leave early, which was fine with me as I had cooking to do early the next morning for another round at my Moms for my oldest brothers arrival from So Carolina.

Otto spent the night at my Moms since I had to go back there the next morning.

We had a huge Italian spread on friday. My brother, his wife and their son got there early and were starving to kick off another food fest.

Everything was nice. We had a good visit and since they were going to be spending the night at my house, they asked if we cud bring Mom, which we did.

At my house we had another spread of salads and cold cuts while we went through family tree stuff. It was really fun. I see a need to sit Mom down and start getting her to name all the people in all our old photos. There's just soooo much with all that! My brother took two cases of my family tree info so he can enter it on the computer.

They ended up leaving at 2:30am so they could get home before dinner time the next day. So we were all up half the night.

Saturday I slept a lot.

Today- just chillin. Got a call from my Garden friend. I sent her a bday card and she wanted to thank me. I have a few calls to return to my yoga friends. I would love to get together with them all before Xmas. Maybe do a little something here at my house???

J has not returned my call. Said she hasn't been feeling too good last time we spoke. I know her girls did some of the cooking for her for Thanksgiving, so that was a big help. I will try her again tonight.

Hope everyone had a fabulous holiday!
Peace

Strangest thing happened on our way down the shore. I laughed in the car at something Luv said and it sounded JUST like my sister's (who passed) laugh. I don't even know how I did it. Instantly it made me think of her. Kind of like when someone yells your name in a crowded room- and it jolts you. I wondered if Luv had noticed it- but he didn't say anything.

There was a lot of young people at the funeral. Bils nephew was just 20yrs old. His parents were functioning- but I know all about that... when you are going through the motions and doing all those things we must do at a time like this. Sometimes I feel like I am an observer- like I am watching a movie. Idk...

I was very glad Luv and I were there for the kids. They seemed really relieved when they saw us. Almost like they were holding their breaths till we got there. Even Bil came and stayed by us. I was glad I was there for him. He looked like he needed someone to care about him.

It was hot in the place, so I asked Nini to go outside to my car with me to get some water bottles. (No cups at the fountain) While we were alone she said when she hugged her Nanny (Bils Mother) she started to cry and her Nanny pushed her away from her. Nini said it was very deliberate. Like she wanted nothing to do with comforting her. The she said 'Thank you for coming.' Nini said she stood there- not knowing how to respond.

That woman was always a heartless thing. I reminded her this is the same woman who when my sister was two weeks from death in the hospital- asked her for a bowl of some soup she made...her Mil said 'I'll give you the recipe so you can make it.' She knew full well my sister was close and never going home again. I mean- seriously. Would it have killed you to bring her a cup of the **** soup??! I ended up getting the recipe and making it for my sister. I told her some people are just empty and have nothing to give. I told her she is not well...don't hold it against her. Just know that.

I gave her a big hug and reminded Nini that she is as much deserving to be consoled as anyone else. And I told her how sorry I was for her loss of her cousin. He is going to be missed for a long time to come.

I noticed Bil was sort of the 'man outside' too. So we huddled. All of us formed a little force of love and strength. It was wonderful having the two babies there. I was glad they brought them. Bil thought they shouldn't... I don't know why. I don't understand any of that. But even he was glad they were there to hold. Just putting your hands on them fills your heart. We needed that.

I was so glad I went for them. They all needed their loss aknowledged. It was good to let them talk. Henry told us he had spoken with his cousin and was trying to coax him to give up doing drugs. He said he told him he wanted to go back into rehab but money was an issue. How sad is that. To look at this kid you would have NEVER suspected he was doing anything. But his family knew he had a problem. And apparently it was serious.

Henry and Nini seem years beyond there actual ages. They have had a lot of spiritual growth the past few years. I am proud of the two of them and made sure I let them know it. Henrys GF and Ninis BF were a great support to them too. I really love them all.

It was a long ride back home. Luv and I stopped at a fantastic little place for a light dinner. It was quiet and realy nice. We laughed how Little Henry is more like Nini was when she was a baby, very quiet and sweet. And Ling- LOL Is just like Henry when he was little, very loud and active. Funny how that happens. Both kids are beautiful and healthy and doing well.

Oh- and Ling bit me with her two teeth. I loved it! LOLOL

They are all looking foward to going to Grammys for Thanksgiving. I know it means a lot to them to have somewhere to go. I just pray Bil takes something away from this whole tragedy and treats his kids better and gets his health in better check.
Peace

My Dr called to tell me everything was fine with my hormones. She said one clearly shows I am in menopause (obviously) but she said I am doing really well with regards to that. Some very mild hotflashes. But otherwise- there is no good excuse for my laziness. Hahaha Great- I was prepared to ride that one out, but nope...not to be.

Seriously- I am greatful there isn't anything wrong.

I had to inform her of the phone call I got that day from one of my older (34yrs) nephew. My oldest bros first son. He has breast cancer. yeah- it hit me like a ton of bricks.

My Dr wants genetic counciling done. My sister is in the process of doing it already. When her results come back- then I will be tested.

My sister found out a cousin of ours had it done and was found to be negative, but she encouraged we have it done too.

Luv's brother who lives in Florida was hit by a car while riding his bike and suffered a serious compound fracture in his lower leg. He had surgery and the huge scar runs all the way down his leg. It's horrible.

Oh- good news on Baby Henry. He is fine. Spent teo days being tested for everything and it turned out his arteries are just tiny and they said it's not serious and something he will grow out of. Never heard of such a thing! But he is doing fine and you can bet his parents are watching him like a hawk.

Saturday morn got a call from Nini- very upset. Her cousin (Bils sisters son) was found dead in his bed from an accidental overdose. Terrible shocking news. I have known this boy since he was a baby. Though not really well since Bils family doesn't bother much with him... but still- it's horrid.

Tonight we are going to the funeral to be with Henry and Nini.

Mom has a ton of people for Thanksgiving. As usual. I am looking foward to it. I feel like we need to huddle- if that makes any sense.

Of course we have to go to inlaws after my Moms. Otto will stay at my Moms while we do that. It gives us a good excuse to leave early. Luv is already nervous about being around his family. He just feels things are too tense right now. Lots of things going on there...

J- I haven't even had a chance to speak with her... I will try and call her on my way to the shore today. I just haven't had any time at all.

Day after Thanksgiving we are all meeting at Moms again to see my brother and his fam from So Carolina. Then they will be coming home with me for a night. My sister and I are cooking all the food for friday to give Mom a break. We are both bringing a side to Thanksgiving too...but Mom insistes on having two million sides. :/

I might need to sew my lips shut after this weekend. LOL

I'm am just feeling very quiet right now. Been reading a lot. My way of restoring myself. And walking a lot with Otto and Luv. We found an awesome trail that Otto just loves. Deep hills, a creek, secluded... I love it too.

Monday after holiday weekend I go for my Mammo and Ultra sound.

Luvs band doing very well- had them all over for a football game. It was fun.

Happy Thanksgiving All!
Peace

First let me say- I never intended to be gone THIS long! It feels like eternity...

I'm ok- obviously. But I have to say- the first week out of surgery was a rough ride. I was wiped out- slept a lot! I didn't fight it- Luv was insistant that I stay in bed and when I tried to get up and post on the 4th I had the worst nose bleed. I just aborted and ran back to bed!

It was scary. I had a lot of blood clots- that were very gross to have to wash out. Yuck, I am getting a hot flash just thinking of it...

Seriously- the first two days were mostly sleep. Third day I felt like I was smashed in the face with a 2x4. Not Good at all. The pain meds constipated me and I didn't go to the bathroom for 5 days! Mind you- I only took 3 of them the whole time. Not good from a person who goes 2-3 times a day. ( I know- more than you needed to know. haha)

So then I was into fleet enemas and sipositories... becuz all the darn foods I ate (that normally keep me regular) were not working. That was scary stuff. My poor Mom actually told me I was upsetting her- her Mom died from an intestinal blockage....

Then- I had my post op appt and that was scary as all heck! He had to suck out more blood clots and I swear I felt like he was stabbing my brain with a hot poker. I couldn't believe this wasn't the simple walk in the park my family all had. But then- they didn't have their sinuses done, just polyp removals. My Dr said my polyp was nothing... very small. The real problem was the fact my sinuses near my eyes are very small and he needed to cut away some of the inflamation inside them and make the holes bigger so they can drain properly- thus hopefully ending my sinus infection problem.

All I know is- After he cleaned me up removing bllod clots and pulling a scab off (ew gross!) I did feel better. Just milder sinus headaches after that and much let bleeding. I am just now able to lean over and lift heavy stuff.

Oh and just when I am feeling better- I get another yeast infection from the 2nd round of antibiotics. Yeah... it's been real pleasant!

Went to Gyn today for my yearly chk up. I already had pills from my dr for yeast infection since I had gotten one with the first round... so my Dr said all was well with me but she wanted to chk my hormones to see where I am at with regards to my thyroid and whatever else they chk.

I told her I had been feeling really lazy. She thinks it's all to do with the sinus infections and surgery... So I find in a few days how I am hormonally.

Made my annual Mammo and Ultra sound appt. It's the end of the month. Then I think I shud be good for the year! Well I do have another follow up with the Otolaryngologist.... praying he doesn't need to do any more procedures with that scope thingy. It was so painful I almost came out of the top of the chair on him. LOL He was saying 'Don't run away on me....' I was looking for a back door in the chair!

Enuf- I am fine now. Worst is behind me.

Lots of things with the kids... and J had a biopsy of her Uterus lining. She has been very nervous about the whole thing. The large cyst on her ovary ( they want to remove her ovary with the cyst) she refuses to deal with till after the holidays. The Dr is afraid it could burst... I could not get her to reconsider. So I just pray she is Ok through the holidays. I told her to take it real easy and I think she is listening.

Luv has been great through the whole sinus thingy. He stayed by my side till I went into surgery and was the best sight after. He enjoyed cooking and serving me in bed... but FORGET about the house and laundry. LOL He tried...but boy does he hate doing housework.

Otto stayed by me the whole recovery. He was very careful by me too. Luv said isn't it funny how animals just know when things are more serious. He would hop on the bed so gently... and refuse to leave my side those first few days.

Little Henry is in the hospital tonight. He had his lips turn blue and they took him immediately to Drs and it happened there in front of him so they went straight to the hospital. Please pray he is alright. I am very concerned.

So I am going to end here...I am exhausted. (seriously- I am just tired all the time now) Will try and update more (oh yeah... and there's more!) tomorrow. I am going to Bingo with Mom and just can't wait!
Peace
I REALLY missed you all!

Yes Karolyn...gums are good too. In fact they did that (oh what do they call it....) thingy where they measure how ur gums are doing- I guess with receeding or something??? Idk... but they said I actually improved a little there and were happy about that. I am one of those people who loves to floss. Guess it's paying off?

It's chilly here today. Nice crisp air with a light breeze. We all loaded up early to go pick up our machine at Bils lot (the one Otto just LOVES) Luv had a little work to do with the machine before the guy came to tow it- so that gave me a nice chunck of time to take Otto for a LONG LONG hike up and down the hills. It was gorgeous! I put his red quilted jacket on him and good thing I did to help him stand out bc the roads there, while the area is quite rural, are winding and a little dangerous to walk on since there isn't anywhere to get off the street if a car comes too fast.

Otto just loves running through the stream there and hopping the big rocks. I was thankful I brought the lunging leash that is 25 feet long bc he wasn't waiting for me to navigate crossing those rocks. lol

The neighbors two pigs are huge now! Much bigger than Otto. When last there he was the same size as them. He looked at them with amazement, and they him. I bet they would be great little friends for Otto to pal around with. Something that could take his bumps.... but I did not choose to get him too close. I was more eager to hike with him and he was too. Plus they were just being fed when we arrived and I didn't want to upset their din-din.

Tonight we are going bar hopping with the rythym guitarist and his wife. First to check out one band down near my Moms area. We will see their first set, then back to our area to see another band to catch their 2nd set and finally stopping at our bar to chk out the Halloween Party they are having. It's going to be a long night.

I may dress up a little-nothing too much. Just my horns I got from Salem Mass. years ago and maybe some wicked make up job... Luv isn't interested, but maybe I can get him to wear the horns. He can be 'A ***** Guy' hahaha Ewww...

Just got a text they want us at their house by 8pm. So much for the nap I was thinking of taking. I have to do some wash and want to shower and straighten my hair, plus want to throw a coat of polish on my nails.

J has her Mom this weekend. I am glad. It will keep her occupied, plus it being Halloween and all... she will have the trick or treaters to deal with too. That will be fun. My area is just tooooo rural for any of that. Yet it never stops me from having candy in the house.

Oh and found out they want me to be at the hospital at 7am. And Karolyn it is done as out patient. Said I should be out in 2-3 hours. I just have to walk, eat and drink something before they let me leave. usually I wake up feeling great and get out fast. So as long as everything goes smooth I shud be back in my own bed by 11am!

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!
Peace

Bingo was a lot of fun. Mom brought cupcakes and everyone just loved that. Me included And she won 210.00! I told everyone we won't be there next week since I have surgery on Monday. It really upsets people when you don't show up and they don't know why ur not there...Mom will be going to Aunt Lizs Bingo, if she is going.

One of Moms sisters was in the hospital and now in a rehab. They won't let her go home till she can walk. Apparently she was filling with fluid.... Idk, they don't tell Mom too much- they still baby her as she is the youngest and apparently even at 75yrs ur still too young to tell upsetting news to. :/ Funny how familys are.

Yesterday I got all the Pre-op stuff done and the Dr said he will be doing a little more than initially planned since seeing my CT scan. Originally he thought it would just be one side of my nose, but now he found my sinuses are thickened on both sides near my eyes and nose bridge. He wants to remove the polyp which is bigger than he thought... and then also snip the openings to my sinuses so they are wider open. He thinks this will help keep me from having future sinus infections. I hope.

Tomorrow they call me with the time I have to report Monday. They like to take children and of course- emergencies first. So far there are two kids before me, but their procedures are simple. They still think I will be in there before 8:30am. Makes me wonder what the heck time this Dr gets up. I told him not to go out partying this weekend since it's Halloween, he needs to be sharp Monday morn! LOL

I also got my bloodwork all done too. Had the greatest girl do it. She was so busy but never lost the smile on her face. Said she actually preferred it that way. And she was very accurate and fast so that was nice. I was shocked they took 3 big vials of blood from me. I asked for a copy of the results so I can see what they chkd.

J and I had a long conversation too-
She sounds soooooo dang down. Turns out the recent chk on her cyst on her ovary showed it has grown and they want to remove it. Also there may be some canverous cells on her cervix... she isn't sure really bc she didn't understand the Dr.

I think- she understands, she is just very upset. They want to put her under and remove the cyst and well- she isn't sure what else. She asked them to send her an explaination in writting and she wants me to look it over for her. I hope I can go with her the day of her surgery. She just isn't good at comprehending things.

There's a lot of other heavy stressers going on with her too. I fear she is getting depressed. She said she doesn't want to talk to any one. She just wants to go to bed. I can certainly understand that and sometimes I have to admit- I think it can do you wonders to just stop talking and deal. However- she sounds so low... and yeah- lick ur wounds but eventually you have to shake it off. I am concerned she isn't in a good frame of mind to heal properly. I'm going to stick close to her. I am not even entertaining worrying. Well- that's my plan...

Tonight Luv has rehearsal and is auditioning two new guys so I will have lots of uninterrupted time to talk with her again.

Tomorrow Luv wants to go to the movies and then we have a few bands to chk out Saturday night. I am not exactly sure if I am going to go. Depends how I feel. Lately I have been very tired and sleeping very well. I know it has a lot to do with breathing so good since the nose spray is shrinking stuff. Makes me want to forget all this surgery stuff, but I know that's not possible.

While at the hospital I found the cutest little leopard coat for Ling. It is beautiful! It was in the gift shop. It has little ears and a tail and real pretty brown bows. We just loved it and could not resist it. Two other ladies were waiting for me to put it down. LOL It was expensive but it was made really well and different than the usual types of coats similiar. Beautiful snaps on it... and satin lining. AND a perfect fit for this winter! I mailed it so Nini will have it when it gets chilly- which is going to be in a few days I hear.

Ugh... it's 6pm and I have to finish some laundry for Luv. GTG
Peace

Had a really great weekend! We picked up lil Bro friday morning. He was so happy we came early. We took him to Chinese lunch and then shopping. We hit the CD store with a vengence! LOL Luv and lil Bro went wild! LOL The two of them with their fists full... I had to draw the line. They were allowed a few each. Then Lil Bro found headphones that he NEEDED (on sale thankfully) and Luv got a bunch of posters he wants to frame for the band room.

Cha-ching!

Then we went for coffees and headed home. When I called Mom that night she sounded absolutely exhausted. I told her to relax- that I would be keeping Lil Bor with me all weekend and see her Sunday for dinner.

Saturday- my bday- we went to the Aquarium in Camden. What a fantastic day it was! Weather was awesome, Lil bro was stoked to go, and I was estatic to be going too.

Our absolute fav things we saw were the Hippos and the hammerhead shark. The Hippos were swimming right past where we were and we could see every detail on them. It was incredible. And they are just the absolute cutest creatures.

Lil bro was on an eating frenzy (Mom says it is the meds) so we were laughing how everytime we passed food he would tell us he was starving. LOL Lets just say we all endulged a little too much but what the hay- we had fun.

Sunday went to Moms and my sister, nephew, and her granddaughter were all there. BTW- this is the nephew who we have been very concerned with bc of his drinking... well he got a really great job and is working on his problem. Day by day... Please toss a prayer up for him. He will need it.

My brother slept very well this time. Didn't matter much to me bc I still sleep with one eye open... as did Luv (who is naturally a light sleeper) so he was well rested and his behavior was very good.

I got him 4 rock shirts. Two I had bought weeks ago. He was so happy with them. I noticed he still is wearing one I bought long ago...which is unusual. They are usually stolen or he rips them when someone angers him there...

I really enjoyed this weekend.

Luvs family wanted us to go on a Haunted Hay Ride with them, but I told them I had my brother. Fil- is not the most patient person, nor understanding. He likes to THINK he would be...but there is NO way I would subject my brother to him! I still have to hear how 'Hyper Henry' was bc he kept interrupting Fil speaking to Luv. Mind you- Henry was about 4 years old at the time and had just ridden one of the machines with Luv so he was very excited about it. Whatever- I learned my lesson where Fil is concerned.

Mom made a really nice dinner for us all and a bday cake for me. It was a yellow cake mix with a frosting made with cool whip and crushed pineapples. It was so good!

And tonight she is making chocolate cupcakes decorated for Halloween to bring to Bingo. Yeah- I need to hop on the treadmill! LOL

So- tomorrow I go to Pre-op and have bloodwork done for the Nose Polyp surgery. Nov 1st is the surgery date. I am a little upset it's on a Monday- but I did want the earliest date. I want this over with.

J called me briefly- she has something going on too. She needs surgery too. Not sure what exactly they are doing...may be a cyst on her ovary??? She did not answer her phone all day...

Oh and Guitarists GF sent me a text for my Bday... didn't quite understand that one, I just thanked her. The the guitarist sent me a message on FB specifically from him and his DD (6yr old) I don't get them... Then I got a text from Luvs drummer that the guitarist is throwing up the white flag and trying to get back in the band. Luv said that isn't going to happen. Just the thought of it makes him sick in the pit of his stomach. So that had me a little peturbed that his GF would unfriend me and then send a text... I don't like manipulative people or those who have a hidden agenda. I mean... really!

It's Bingo day! I can't wait. GTG still have much to do today before I go. Will catch up later.
Peace

Wow Karolyn...it never occured to me that J could be bi-polar... you may be onto something. I know her youngest DD is and her other DD drinks heavily and is on anti depressants. Hmmm I wonder. Put it this way- if she ever were dx she didn't tell me. And that certainly would explain a lot. :/

Thankyou for the thoughts and prayers. And Bday wishes! Apparently they have helped bcuz I had a great day today!

Got up early to straighten my hair. Usually I can't be bothered with my hair. It's too unruly and I just don't have the time, but the past week I have been. I can't believe how much longer my hair is when it it's straight. And it's easier to sleep with straight hair for some reason. lol

Had tooties cleaned No cavities! Luv asked 'Where's the candy?' They made a comment if business gets slow they'll be putting bowls of candy in the waiting room. Hahaha

Then had CT scan- that was a pc of cake. They said my Dr shud get results monday morning and I will hear from him shortly after that. I did not get the helmet thingy my brother, sister and Mom have spoke of. Not sure why and don't really care. I am hoping the dang thing just vanished!

I also exchanged Ottos red sweater for a bigger size. When trying it on Otto I really noticed his nose and mouth getting a little white and showing some signs of him aging. I can't tell you how upset it made me noticing that. He still acts like a puppy so it just doesn't fit.

Luv said he notices we kiss him WAY TOO MUCH! But neither of us will stop so...I hope he likes it. I wonder... lol I mean, mornings are rediculous when he hops in our bed. You'd think years had passed since we last seen each other. lol Then we got to thinking about our past doggies. Yup- we were always smooching the heck out of them too. All I can say is- it's probably a good thing we didn't have kids. I think we're too smothering.

I am not sure if I noted here about our little Miss Ling- she has a tooth! It broke the gum on October 15th. It's not a fang as I had dreamt (lol) it's a lower front tooth on her left. Nini says you can't really see it too good but you can definately feel it. LOL

Mom says whoever finds the baby's first tooth buys the first pair of walking shoes. So Nini foots the bill. lol

We went food shopping and I got some Tatoo mags for us to look at. I really like some of the art work and some of it is just aweful. I guess it really is so personal. Much to think about. I have to say this- I think if I ever do get a tat I would definately be designing a whole sleeve. I just think it's so much more prettier than just having a random tat.

Who knows...
Peace

It is so good to come here and catch up with you girls... I love you all! Thank you Noni for all the Bday wishes. Ur great girl!

It has been a really tiring week for me, but luckily I have paced myself so I am ready for Little bro. I did get a yeast infection from those anti-biotics, but I got the pill and it was cleared as fast as it came. I am almost done and cannot wait!

Tomorrow I go for a dental cleaning and a CT scan. Luv is going to run around with me. It will feel good to have that done before picking up little bro on friday morning.

Today Luv and I did some shopping. First- the store called that gets those fantastic cable knit sweaters I like for Otto. I got a really nice red one. I have been so attracted to red as of late. LOL Only prob is I did not get to take him with me and he needs an XL. So I need to exchange the large. But let me just say- he looks smashing in red!

Then Luv and I went to use a store credit I have been carrying around for 2 years! It was 189.00! I can't believe I didn't go use that thing right away! And am very glad I didn't lose it. Anyway- I got a really smart looking blue fall coat. I love it! And Luv got 3 really kewl looking shirts that he can wear on stage or just out. This store is our kind of store. Lots of Rock n Roll wear and jewelry. Plus lots of glam stuff that Nini will just LOVE! But... it's pricey So it's not the kind of place you want to visit often.

Also- Luv is contemplating getting a tattoo. I have been teasing everyone that I am too...and I wonder how much I am really teasing about this and how much I might actually be considering. My only concern is I think I would be one of those people who gets one and the next thing you know you can't get them out of the tatoo parlors :/ Yeah- I either want none or a whole sleeve! I am just very attracted to the colors...

The only thing I am sure of is I am not sure! Ahhhhhhh LOL

More drama with Bil. I got the number from my sister to call her lawyer. I hope I can do that before little bro comes... but if not- there's next week. I told Nini to do a few things to sort of get her ducks in a row. She is really pleading to be allowed to come live with me and Bil has shot back a LOUD 'NO!'

In a converstion with him he told me he is getting on medication... so everything will be better. Whatever that means... He is seeing a psychologist now- THANKFULLY! Only prob is my sister tried counciling with him and he knows how to manipulate the system to make himself look milky white and everyone else look dirty. Yet- to Nini he is raging how he is the Boss and he controls EVERYTHING. Nice huh?

For now- I am just letting it all settle becuz I am getting little bro and he will occupy 100% of my attention. Mom is not going away but has to work late friday so I told her to just relax and let me have some time with Lil bro. Mom wants him for saturday night but my bro barked he wants to stay at my house the whole time.

He just gets things in his head and we are the puppets. LOL

Mom offered to have my other bro take him home cuz she knows I will be exhausted. LOL That will be greatly appreciated, I'm sure.

OH! I also spoke with oldest bro and he is coming Thanksgiving with his family. He will stay a night at my place. He warned he wants me to have all my photos out and my cases of the family tree stuff that needs to be enetred on line. I think my nephew is going to help me with that! Yay... cuz it's a lot! And my brother is having a nasal surgery very soon too. This will be his 5th! But he said I will feel wonderful when it's over and it's not too rough healing.

Quite frankly- I'm feeling better... maybe I don't need to go... Maybe it disappeared! Maybe I don't really have one and it was just a boogie! LOLOL I don't want to go

Anyhoo- and J and I spoke. She is in a funk again. I told he rits her own fault for not taking my calls. We played fon tag for a while there. LOL She got some bad news regarding her DDs paternity stuff. I wish I didn't get sick so I could have went to court with them last wednesday! I don't understand what all the problems are. Otherwise all is fine with us. I think J is just a little ditzy and misses stuff- yes even the 'smack you right in the face' stuff. hahaha

Guitarist's (who was booted) GF has deleted EVERYONE from her friends list that was associated in the band. Luv got together lastnight with the band and they had a long chat about it all. Turns out the other three guys were really fed up too, but no one wanted to upset the apple cart. They are all glad it is done and ready to forge ahead. Tomorrow the new guys comes. I hope he works out.

Ok- that's it for now- I will see you all on the other side! I might need a day or two recouping from little brother, but hopefully it won't be for long. LOL
Peace

So went to the Ear, Nose and Throat specialist and my suspicions are correct. I have a polyp in my right side. He is not sure how bad it is, but on visual- it looks like I will need to have it removed. Problem with these things is there usually isn't just one. They like to grow in clusters, so he is sending me for a CT scan to get the scoop and we will go from there. I hope it all happens quick so I don't have a lot of time thinking about it or hearing peoples horror stories.

I am also hoping after all this I will sleep better. I know just since I got the prescription nose spray, it has made a world of difference already. I actually felt a little high from all the oxygen . LOL I am STILL full of yuck and can't even tell you how many boxes of tissues I have been through. Whoever invented the ones with lotion deserves a big smooch! Dang those things are good!

I went to chinese and a movie with Luv today. He isn't feeling so hot himself these days. I sense it's from drinking milk (which he rarely does) since he doesn't have to sing any place soon. Dairy really is very bad... I have been eating loads of yogurt to help keep the bad effects of being on antibiotics away. So the two of us didn't hardly eat a thing. Everything tasted weird. The only thing that tastes right to me is cereal and tea. LOL

Next week Luv is auditioning a new guy. He also has an artist who is going to add some art work to his backdrop. I have a fantastic idea for business cards, that we are hoping he can do for us too. We are getting really pumped, as are the rest of the band. Two of the guys who have felt really stiffled, by the guitarist who is gone, are feeling like kids who are left with a fun babysitter. I hope things work out for them all. I think they are realizing how much they had given up to keep the guitarist from exploding on them... it's a shame really.

Tonight Nini goes to Home Coming. I hope she has a great time. She has had a few rough days with Bil and she said she really wants to come here to live but he REFUSES to sign any papers that would give up his custodial control of her. My sister has a lawyer she wants me to talk to. I also want to speak to our atty monday. Trust me- for her sanity she needs to get out of there. And I keep getting these little signs that I feel are nudges from my sister. I'm talking really obvious coincidences, and very often.

So tonight I will be confirming with Mom about getting my little brother. She got an invite to go see another sister of hers up in New York State, but when she realized it was the weekend I had planned for getting little bro- she changed her mind. I told her she could go...I can handle him with Luv, he is usually very good with us and we like to take him out to do stuff anyways... but I have a feeling she is afraid for her little cub. LOL So it looks like I will have him for my bday.

I got a text from Henrys GF! And an adorable pic of lil Henry- OMG...what a cutie! She wants to try and come up again too. I am so happy she is opened up a little. I felt like she kind of was getting weird on us... Mom said we have to be extra nice to her to make her feel included. Mom agreed with you Marta- the boys always tend to go with the womans side more... and the girls tend to stick closer to home. Except Mom said beings her sister had a little boy too- there might be some competition going on there, so maybe she is more open to us right now and we shud jump on it! LOL Whatever- I am just excited about her even wanting to come and share their bundle of joy with us. We are all very much looking foward to the holidays with the babies. As far as Mom is concerned- you just can't have too many babies around!

Ok- I am off to relax with Luv a little. I will have a lot of cleaning and prepping to do for little bros visit next weekend. Luv and I want to pick him up too. He likes to go to lunch and shopping with us. Especially since we are the musical couple of the family and he LOVES his music. So you can bet a trip to the CD store is on the list. haha

Hope everyone is doing ok... It seems we all have a lot of changes going on around us. Lets just pray they are all for our best. I'm feeling pretty good about things. Very hopeful.
Peace

So much going on...might want to hold onto ur hats. LOL

First- Noni, Henry does keep in touch with Nini and us but it's limited. He lives with his GF and doesn't have to deal with Bil except for at work. (Henry works for his dad) I sense there is some jealousy in that Bil gives Nini more attention. It seems everyone does- but she is the one calling everone and keeping in touch. Henry goes MIA and is content to just be with his GF and their baby, who is doing well and cute as a button!

Plus- since Henry has ADD he tends to be more argumentative with Bil so he tends to keep his distance for that prpose.

I wish I could have been involved more with him when he was younger. It's a little bit harder now...

So- anyway...Luvs band played out friday. J came early and we got ready and went together with Luv. Lots of drama came up with the guitarist (6yr olds dad) and his GF.

While setting up the band guitarist was total witch to Luv ( who has been on a slow boil since the last blow up) so naturallly THAT didn't sit well with Luv.

While on stage he kept over talking Luv... saying jokes at the bands expense. Nobody was happy with him. It went on all night.

I had my own aggrivations. I explained to J that his Gf and I were not too tight becuz of the friction between Luv and Guitarist. I held no animosity towards her, since I can separate myself from the band in as 'it's their band, let the boys work it out themselves'. But she was very cold towards me and not that she was openly unfriendly- but she let me know in unspoken terms I was not her fav person in the room. This had been happeneing for some time now. Hey- I'm a big girl, if you don't want to be my friend, I won't push it.

I am usually quite busy taking pictures or doing videos of the band to really have too much concerns with that stuff. So it hasn't been an issue but I have to say- when J rebuffed my take on the situation, saying 'No way- she LOVES you guys.' and proceeded to buddy up with her- Well, NOW I had issue.

Yet- I was a bit too busy doing the vidoes and pics and intermittenly getting the girls in the crowd up to dance... it's a lot of work really. I know everyone thinks I am this Goodtime Girl but you have to realize a lot of this is with a mission in mind. Yeah, yeah I carry a drink all night, 'cept most don't realize 9 times out of 10- it's Ginger ale or cranberry juice. It's a 'job' I do happily. It comes pretty easy to me.

SO- the issue came in when J was taking her side. And hanging out with her A LOT. It just got the best of me that MY best friend was fraternizing with (not an enemy) but not a friend- and telling me she 'loves' me (when I know better) was aggrivating!

I'm sorry- but if J doesn't get along with someone, I don't park my butt next to them and share cocktails and giggles. That's just me-

So I was really disappointed and felt let down by her. If she weren't my BEST friend I would be a little less jealous I presume, but she is - so I was!

Later I find out the guitarist Gf made some sassy remark to Luv that when she realized what Zodiac sign he was- she said he was 'just like' her Ex husband (whom she hates with a passion as much as she celebrates her divorce every year) Luv was hurt. he has never been anything but kind and respectful to her- he didn't deserve that. And J stood there laughing about it... (later J would claim to me she never really heard what anyone was saying she was just laughing along- 'cept Luv said no one was laughing.- whatever)

It was very good that I was not in ear shot of any of that because I swear- someone would have hit the floor.

On the way home- J continued to carry on like this girl is my good friend. She was drinking- so I didn't bother to waste my time trying to explain. She obviously wasn't 'getting it'.

The next day J wants to spend the day with me. I am quite forgiving- especially when i know someone isn't understanding the situation. After all- J is not always there for every show, and she just isn't privy to all bs. So I took her to lunch and a movie and then we went for a great walk with Otto. My disappointment in her lifted.

Then I get the call from Nini- had a fight with her dad- could I pick her up? Of course I go- how can I not, and J took the ride with me. It was a 5 hour round trip. We stopped for a late dinner on the way home. Ling is just adorable... don't even let me get started with that. LOL I could absolutely eat her!

Ok so J, Nini, and Ling sleep over- wake up Sunday and who calls saying she is on her way over- she's hung over and needs to sober up before going home.... Luvs Sister!

GREAT! (not)

So- in the mean time, J has plans to get home, Nini and I had plans to see my sister and her granddaughter who were visiting at my Moms. So I figured, I am not goign to sweat the small stuff. I only have to put up with that a short while. Thankfully.

Nini and I go to Moms- we all visit, have a great day- then we all went to a late lunch and to the mall. It was so nice except I was having a VERY bad time with allergies. I refused to take anything since I was driving- so I got worse and worse and pretty darn fast.

Got home- took some meds and went to bed as I was to drive Nini and Ling home Monday. She didn't have school but needed to be there for school Tuesday. Ok well- I woke Monday a complete mess! Called Dr- I have a bad sinus infection and possibly nose pollyps. He gives me more meds and has me make an appt for specialist (which I see tomorrow)

Luv ends up driving Nini and Ling home- with his sore back (he isn't suppose to be sitting) I took the ride- but slept (and snored- I am told) all the way.

Wait- it gets better...

So Luv gets home monday night- calls the band and says he doesn't want to rehearse this week bc I am very sick. He did not mention besides his back is a mess (he figured they knew that) and it wasn't urgent to get back together since they have no gigs booked for 2 months... well everyone texts him back - Ok...except guitarist- He said 'This is why we NEVER get better!'

Well- THAT was the straw that broke Luvs back. (so to speak) Luv calmly texted him back- 'I'm done- you need to come collect your things, you are out of the band.'

This has been a long time coming. nobody was surprised. They all have griefs with guitarist, but Luv said- No more. And there is NOTHING to talk about.

Ok- so he comes and picks up his things. Not a word spoken except Luv tells him not to worry if he has forgotten anything, just call and it will be returned to him.

It was one of those bandaides that needed to be ripped off- but you know it never feels good going through it. Luv and I had a lot of long talks the past few days.

The rest of the members were given an option to do as they choose. They could leave with him or stay- there would be no hard feelings. It's just enuf is enuf. I am happy that everyone still wants to work with Luv- so they are auditioning a new guitarist next tuesday.

I hope he is something they are interested in. If not, Luv still has a plan B.

So- I have had THE most draining week.

Luv and I enjoyed a quiet dinner at the little authentic Mexican place in town. It was like a first date. We discussed a few new ideas for the band. Everyone is feeling a tinge of excitement again.
Peace

J and I have had some good talks lately. We came to the conclusion that although her hormones are doing a little dance at the moment, it doesn't help that she has 3 adult children living home and one with a daughter.

There's a reason why ur kids need to grow up and get out on their own... so you and ur husband can find yourselves again. We have to constantly reinvent ourselves.

J and her DH are so far from each other that I don't know how she will bridge that gap. Of course no one is the same as they were when we were 18yrs old... but it takes time and commitment to reestablish ur relationship. J has no time and when she does, she has no patience left. Her husband seems like he just gave up. J says she doesn't even love him anymore. I can't imagine how stressful that has to be. And lonely. That's a pretty aweful feeling to be in a house full of people and feeling alone.

We are going to try and spend some fun time together Saturday- if it kills us. LOL

Nini sent me a disturbing text. Asked if I cud take Lucy bc her Dad is aweful to her. Always yelling at the poor dog. I sense he is taking a lot of pent up anger (over my sister dieing and the kids both getting pregnant, and possibly being alone) out on poor Lucy. Nini said the little thing just doesn't understand and Nini cannot take him mistreating her this way. I am sure Lucy doesn't understand the aweful name calling but she certainly can feel the intentions behind his words. No he is not physically harming her... Bil isn't like that- he is all about the verbal abuse, which my Mom swears can be just as bad, if not worse.

Nini feels like she doesn't belong anywhere. That really upset me. She said she is afraid of upsetting our 'perfect world' by intruding with Ling... I was so shocked to hear that. I don't know how much clearer I can be. I have been pretty blunt with her. She knows I don't pull punches. And our lives are hardly perfect here. We don't sugar coat things in our family. We are from the school of hard knocks- it's survival of the fitest, but I am sensing, compared to what she must be living under- maybe compared to her life there, it is perfect.

When I told her she 'belongs' with us AND our whole family she kind of laughed with joy. I don't understand what is going on that she doubted this? I seriously wonder what Bil says to her.

She did make a comment about feeling very guilty about leaving her Father to come here, since he said he will drink himself to death if she leaves. I told her he is an alcoholic and needs serious treatment. He is NOT himself and not to be taken to heart. He is speaking through his illness- certainly not his authentic self. There's no reason to feel guilt. We all love him- just not his disease. We won't ever abandon him... but he needs to do the work if he wants us active in his life.

She seemed so relieved to have that burden taken out of her hands. She is only 16 yrs old. That's too much for her immaturity. I need to get her out of there!

However- I need Bil to make me guardian. And he is not willing to do that. At least- not yet. I am going to the courts to see what I can do about it. There has to be another way.

So- lots on the burners.

Otto went for his routine shot yesterday and I had the Vet do a little cosmetic surgery on him. He had this skin tag that was big enuf that everyone always tugged at it (becuz it looked like a shard of glass or wood) and I figured if she felt it shud/cud be removed relatively incident free...we wud do it. The Vet had it off and Silver Nitrated in about 15 seconds. She didn't even charge me. But she said it cud possibly grow back- then we wud need to burn it out. Lets hope it never comes to that. I don't want to put him under for something slight.

Bingo tuesday was unbelievable. Some woman cut in line and the biggest fight broke out. Nothing physical- but lots of loud words going back and forth. The fireman threatened to toss them out or worse- cancel Bingo. Mom and I couldn't believe our eyes. It's just a game people! That is till Mom loses... which neither of us won anything, so now she thinks are luck is caput! LOL

We really had fun chatting with everyone. And Mom brought cupcakes so she is always in a good mood when she is sharing cake with friends over coffee. (reminds me of when I was young and her GFs use to come over to chit chat. The cake and coffee would be flowing... LOL)

Tomorrow Luv plays out at another local bar. I have a lot of friends coming so it shud be fun. J is cracking me up. She wants to buy some Rock n Roll cloths and said she is really getting into this music. LOL Personally I think she just loves all the dancing. It's great exercise and a lot of fun. her spirits sound much better than last week. I am sure her period had a lot to do with that. I told her to up her calcium. It does help with that. Even Nini noticed a difference.

Oh- took Otto for a long walk and then to Petco where he had an altercation! A mix breed that looked like it was mostly Goldern Retriever or Lab, was barking and lunging at us when we were at the cookie buffet and well... no one knows what communications go on between two dogs but let me tell you- Otto let him know in no uncertain terms that he was NOT going to put up with him barking and lunging at us.

Lets just say, as long as I have Otto, I don't think I need to worry about getting bit by any dog. I am really glad Otto is in my care and not some nut who would like to challenge him... bc I think Otto has it in him to be a great contender.

I quickly took him aside and put him through his commands to make sure everyone watching knew it was not HIM starting a ruckus. But he sure was going to finish it- if I let him. The other dog was just young and untrained. The woman had no idea how to diffuse the situation or how to control her dog.

No big deal- no harm done.


OHHH one other thing- did I ever mention here that the State Trouper who was giving us so much trouble back when we were doing that driveway on our lot ( he also had our machine towed away...) well- we heard he was fired a while back. Never found out exactly why... but I have a feeling it could have had something to do with the investigations that went on after we reported him to his superiors.

We were told he was suppose to retire next year and move to the south somewhere. I hope that doesn't interfere with those plans.

Luckily we never cross paths with him. But I sure would like to know the details of why he was fired...
Peace

Few answers to some questions...
Nini and Henry are both doing well as are the chillens ;D Ling still had not cut her tooth and continues to drool. LOL Both babies are very pleasant. I find the kids pretty attentive to their kids, so I am not surprised they are all doing well. It almost seems like it's been no adjusting at all for them... I am very happy for that.

As for Nini coming to stay with me- I haven't heard any more talk of it. Right now the school has worked something out to cut Nini s hours so her time at school is more compacted. She is doing very well and they want to support her as much as possible. She was late a few days due to having to be out of the house by 6:30 am and it just so happen Ling wakes at 5ish for feedings, so it interfered with her readying for school. They were kind enuf to arrange for her to come in at 8am now. It's working nicely for everyone.

Bil still has his moments.

Little brother usually comes home 1x a month. But I am trying to work out getting him home for my Bday! It's the only weekend Luv isn't playing out besides Halloween. So I am trying to schedule it with Mom. Fingers crossed! Next moth is HIS Bday. He was born on the 17th and we will certainly be having him home around that date depending how it falls.

Luv continues to work on the house plans. There will be three bedrooms total. Two of the bedrooms share a Jack n Jill bath. I love it! Both rooms enter into a double sink area and the tub/shower and toilet are in a separate room. The master has it's own bath of course and the their is a powder room for the main house.

I love the layout! The master bedroom, family room and kitchen all walk out onto a deck. I would prefer it walk out onto a patio... but topo of the land will dictate more of those details.

We still have a lot of details to work out. Luv wants to add a staircase to the basement and also one to the attic. Most houses now have these pull down stairs... we hate that! But not sure he can make the space for it. Plus... he is still concerned about room sizes. It's unfair bc this house has ginormous rooms. I am trying to make him see the wasted space...It's going to be a while till we figure all that out.

Saturday J came 'just in time' to go to Luvs show in North Jersey. She was pretty irritable the few days leading up to it, and I had hoped she would work through whatever was eating at her but she did not. I even gave her an out by saying 'Don't feel obligated if this isn't working for you." She was really moody. Not aimed at us, but you know how that works... She was going to be mad if we invited her and mad if we didn't. She was yelling at all her kids too, who were only too happy to get her out of the house. Turned out she got her period while we were at the club. The Tomoxifin really has her so messed up. I felt bad. There wasn't anything I could say or do to lift her spirit and I just felt like I was being pulled down by hers.

One of the wives of a band mate was getting in my face too. She was critiquing the band and getting pretty into it. Hey- I am the best critic...but there's a time for it, and it isn't when I am out trying to put on a party face dressed in gig cloths, rallying the crowd to get into the band. Some days I just want to thank the Lord for ear plugs and loud music! LOL The fact that her cigarette beer breath almost made toss my dinner was the other half of it.

I wished I was alone. Ugh.

When Luv and the drummer got off stage they came over by me and I gave them the run down on my night and they laughed at me. I told them it's a jungle out here in groupie land. LOL It just was nuts. :/

By morning J was in better spirits and a little apologetic for not being herself the night before. I told her I could tell she just wasn't herself and to give herself a break today and just chillax! This too shall pass She thinks she is having some menopausal issues that are really the culprit of her not being herself. We were both sorry we couldn't hang out all day, but being a Sunday... we both had cooking to do.

Hopefully next weekend will be better.
Peace

Got to Moms early (for our Bingo day) and spent a lot of time talking with my bro who watches Otto. We have some substantial worries coming up concerning my sisters son (the one who showed up at Thanks Giving drunk. Well- he is getting worse. It's a problem. The family is buzzing right now.

Mom walked in frim work and overheard us and was NOT happy. She accused us of not loving him. (Really Mom!) We tried to rationalize with her but no... not happening.

This brought up all the 'stuff' from when my little brother died.

I finally whispered to my brother to just ssssh bc she was getting too upset and I am talking to the point I felt she would tell us off if we didn't drop it. We did.

I took her for some Texas Weiners (How better to make up with Mom then to buy her a hotdog LOL) and then to Bingo. We both came very close- but no wins lastnight. And we got out so much earlier for some reason. Maybe bc a lot of people didn't show up.

It was brought to my attention that a lot of people don't come the end of the month bc they are waiting for chks plus they take the bus to get there and with the storms we were having (a tornado watch) those who walk from the bus and train stops wouldn't come.

Idk why that shocked me so much. Mom said as much as she liked it she would never take buses or trains at night to get to Bingo.

Then a woman who we know but not her name (lol) asked if I could take her home. She lived about a half hour from there. I felt aweful saying no but it would have put me out another hour of driving and I already have an hour of driving to do to get myself home... ugh. I felt like crap not taking her... but I told Mom I don't know that town at all and I don't feel like getting lost in the dark in an area that isn't too good, and in the pouring rain to boot.

Ugh- I don't feel any better today for saying no- I shud have just bit the bullet and did it.

Soooo anyway- yesterday Luv and I took a little cruise up the road to chk out a ranch style house similiar to what we are considering. We also did a walk thru with a realtor we know of a house that has rooms similiar to the sizes we are considering. Wow- it's a LOT smaller. But I have to admit- I am digging it! I know I could clean that entire house in a day and STILL have time to get ready and go out! LOL

We are thinking of a 2 1/2 bath house. Currently I have 6 1/2 baths I clean. That alone is enuf for me! I already have my bag packed! LOL

The room sizes are small enuf that we would be eliminating quite a few interior walls and creating break points with columns and archways to make it appear more open and larger. The basement will be finished off for Luvs band and gym equiptment- which is substantial. So technically we would still have two floors. But it's better than three!

We are considering actually being neighbor to our house here. We will need to sub-divide this lot, but are doing it anyway bc the people considering this place don't want that much acreage.

So- Luvs brain is working on how to pack all the things we really love about this place and removing all the waste and we HOPE we can come up with what will be our new home. excited about doing this again... I thought for sure we were ready to settle, but I can see how this place doesn't fit our going foward plans. Not to mention I want things to be more managable. Like way more-

It's exciting. I feel like it's been a while since I have had something to sink my teeth into- so this is great. Plus it's just fabulous to see Luvs creative juices at work again. I mean on a grander scale- he's always creative...

Of course- we are totally putting some considerations in for Otto too. Like I think I DO want to fence the back yard in this time. At least a portion of it and have it connected to Lady, so he can still go see her, bc they are close now.

I'm thinking of doing a very small inground pool too.

I'm talking real managable.

Well- we have threats of terrential rains and flooding the next two days. So I need to take advantage of the clear day today to run my errands. We don't flood here, but I don't want to be driving when they call for 50 mph winds.

Hope everyone is well.
Peace

Wow where have I been...

Friday I had a lot of things to finish up before getting ready for Luvs show. J got hear a bit earlier than usual, which was nice. I had a lot of fun getting ready with her. The whole band and one of the GFs hung out having a few drinks before we went down to the bar.

We had a great time and Luvs band was great. Lots of girls were dancing. One girl was creaping on Luv. She locked eyes with Luv and he said it really intimidated him. LOL He said later she was with her BF across the room and when he noticed her with him she just droped her arm off her BF and locked eyes again with Luv. I saw how uncomfortable Luv was...it was comical.

Luv broke his In-ear Monitor (that cost A LOT of money!) and fretted on and on about it. Finally he was able tosplice this from some old mold and IDK...do this, do that- and presto! He fixed it. I had to hear 'I'm Mc Giever!" for the whole weekend! LOL Does anybody remember him from the TV show??? I barely do... but Luv swears he is HIM now bc he can fix anything. Lolol I'm not even sure if I am spelling it right. Maybe it's Magiever??? whatever...he was making me and J laugh.

J and I went out to do a little shopping on Saturday. We both bought some concrete angels for our houses. I know- I know...I am going to be moving...what the heck am I buying anything for??? The we went and bought some fresh baked Artisan breads from a new farm they just opened out here. It'a an old dairy farm that they are using to keep animals for meat and cheeses. Plus they installed a brick oven to make these awesome breads! All the animals are raised without chemicals and antibiotics, etc... The veals are allowed to live with their Mothers... it's a wholesome place. All the chickens are running free all over the place. I love it!

Sunday we had Luvs parents up for a little while. Mil was so nice. We had the best visit! Luv and his Dad had a good visit to. They only stayed a few hours. Later I made baked Ziti and Luv and I stayed in watching movies all day. I am still a little sick and still tired from going to bed at 3:30 am the night before.

Mom got my little brother home this weekend too! I was so disappointed I was unable to go see him. But Mom said he needed things and HAD to come this weekend to get them. So... next time I guess. My brother and I had a commitment that he was to come to my house the next time he came home... so I was bummed. I also bought him some Rock shirts that I would have given Mom last Tuesday, had I known. Oh well- it couldnt be helped.

So I am still having some issues with the sinuses, mostly at night though. I am wondering if I might not have pollyps?? They seem to run in my family, so I may get my nose chkd soon. I jsut can't figure why it seems to clear and then comes back. Mom says I complain a lot about not breathing good. I hadn't noticed, till recently, so now I am watchful.

OH! Luv found a beautiful house plan for us. Its actually a ranch! But it looks like a one of those European style homes. It will be stucco (as our house is now) We like that, and the window treatments are really nice. Lots of arches.

So Luv is wanting a bigger basement, and a master bedroom on the first floor, and this is why we had decided ranch was a good idea. (Just really still in the thinking stage right now) But it doesn't look like a typical ranch.

I think the floor plan is going to be more of an open concept with a lot of pillars making the room breaks instead of too much walls. We like that better. It flows better for parties too... not that I am a party animal, but when the general family is over- it's always a party.

So today we are spending a lot of time wrapping our brains around the room sizes bc we are substantially scaling down. This time we are more interested in gardens and landscapes and hardscapes then the size of the interrior. I'm getting excited about it... but all just preliminary right now.

And those dreams are actually working out...
Peace

Marta- you are welcome to borrow Otto any time... but I wouldn't let him near the kitties. He is just NOT to be trusted in that area! That is the one (of the three) issue I feel I just can't work on. I wouldn't take the chance. :/

Karolyn- I am very mindful of what taking on Nini and Ling would be. I am pretty good at envisioning. I would def have to make some basic ground rules. #1 being- Tues is Bingo! LOL Thanks for ur well wishes. It means a lot to me to know I have someone at my back!

Noni- I almost fainted when you mentioned Aunt Liz!!!!! That is EXACTLY who I thought of! And Mom was NOT happy with me... but I think maybe bc she too feels it cud be her. Right now she is the one person my Mom speaks with EVERY day. Lets not forget she rarely has a kind word... Yet Mom keeps going back for more saying 'She's just not herself! She might have dimentia/alzheimers. She doesn't mean it, she doesn't know what she's saying....' (lol) Wow- is that sisterly love or what??!

Mom did not like her reading at all. She doesn't like hearing her kids are grown and can fend for themselves. My Mom is an enambler! This Card reader was trying to disable her and she isn't having any of that!

Mom often touts me as the 'know it all' in the family (seriously I don't know HOW I know some things...I just do. Everyone in the family jokes about it- even Luvs Dad says he is amazed at some of the things I know, that I just don't have any good reason for knowing) and for this woman to say things verbatim to me kind of ticked Mom off a little. Mom immedialtely wanted to discount her. lol I don't gloat. I just said 'Mom- if it looks like, smells like and acts like.... then it probably is. Just hold ur cards closer to ur chest and leave it at that!' The Reader wasn't telling her to STOP talking to everyone- just limit what ur sharing.

So what does Mrs. IeatsausageandmydrsaidIcan do??? ~she buys a 10lb ham and makes a big dinner, picks up Aunt Margie and goes over Aunt Lizs to have a feast. LOL Probably spilling all her guts for the the whole world while she ate! LOLOL

You can't make this stuff up...

So- last Tues when I picked up Mom for Bingo, we went for our bowl of Pasta Faggioli and I started feeling a little nasaly. I thought it was just alergies. Well 1/2 hour before Bingo starts I was running to the pharmacy in town there for Vicks and tissues. As the night progressed I got sicker and sicker. I couldn't get out of there fast enuf. (and we did not win anything but a few bucks from some tickets) I finally got home and took two cold pills and went to bed in the spare room. I am trying to stay away from Luv since he has a gig friday night.

I felt miserable but luckily it seems to be contained to my nose and is clearing pretty good. I actually feel better today but am being forced to still stay away from Luv till friday night. It's a PITA really... we keep going to the same rooms at the same time and he is getting annoying with his 'Don't touch anything! And stop breathing in here!' LOL I told him keep it up and I'm gonna lick you like a kitten! LOL He is not amused...

Had some more people here to go over the house again... fingers crossed! I have been dreaming about a new home a lot lately and had some great ideas come to me!!! I need to start sketching some things down on paper. It's weird cuz in my dream I was thinking to myself 'Ohhh I don't want to forget this!' and was making mental notes in my dreams. I hate when that happens to me bc I wake up thinking I never went to sleep. Has anyone ever experienced that???

Maybe it was the Benadryl talking. hahaha

Ok- going to hit the shower.
Peace

Had a nice weekend. Luv and I took off Saturday for Chinese and a movie. Saw The Town...it was very good. Then ran numerous errands, like eyebrow waxing, food store and took the ride to get horse feed. Sunday I wanted to just sleep. Henry came up with a friend and his GF and the baby to pick up his 4 wheeler. That little baby is the ultimate cutest! His Gf wanted to just stay in the car bc it was too much getting out with the baby and all the stuff...she wanted to load and go since they made the trip in the late afternoon. I wish they could have at least stayed for dinner.

Noni she really is a sweet girl. I think a lot of it has to be hormones. And maybe lack of sleep! I don't know much about her home life, but what Bil has said. He thinks she doesn't get much support from her Mom. Who knows...

Nini came up friday with Bil to chk out the High School here. She is toying with the idea of coming here to live. Bil, to my shock, loved the school and the people he met there and wishes Nini and Henry BOTH went to school out here from the start.

I was a little surprised Bil is being pretty supportive of Nini moving in with me. I think he senses it would be the best for her. Though he had the nerve to tell her that if she left him he would drink himself to death! Uhhh- already doing that....don't try to pin that on her!

Bil KNOWS he needs professional help- ball is in his court as to if he will seek it. Nobody can do that part for him. It would be hard enuf if he WANTS it...

Personally I am not sure how I will manage if/when Nini does move in here. I know she will rely heavily on me for childcare. I know it sounds weird- but the fact that I haven't had kids of my own was never an issue for me, really. I like my freedom. I enjoy all owning a dog offers- the love, attention, affection, satisfaction of training and caring for it...but you know- the part where you CAN actually go out and have peace of mind all is well with them locked safely in the house, is nice! LOL

I trust that God will put in my path what Luv and I need. I trust if this is a good move for Nini and Ling- it will happen. I trust if Bil is ready to do right by himself- it will be done. And if it never happens or does and doesn't work out- then we will all be fine with that.

Last week Mom and I stopped at a card readers on the way to Bingo, to kill a half hour. Mom went first. We asked for the mini 6 card spread. She told Mom she is very smart, but has someone or something holding her back from doing what she wants to do. It is putting a huge strain on her. She told her she had a lot of people around her and they all tell her their problems...right down to even when they are constipated! LOL She said she takes all those woes onto herself and it's not good for her. Then she asked Mom 'How many kids DO you have??' We laughed... she was accurate so far. She also told mom she had people around her who were friendly to her face- but not behind her back and to not share everything with everyone.

Then my turn- said she saw a lot of financial stuff going on with me. Not really negative, just jockeying of monies. True she was! I have been moving funds from accounts. She said (without me telling her) my house will sell but not before the end of this year. Currently we are working with someone and it won't be a quick sell. My house is very large and not something that goes onto a regular market- so I felt she was pretty accurate there. Then she said the card that represented me showed I was a person who, when I love, loves with all my heart body and soul. And that I am pretty lucky int hat dept. (I would have to agree) BUT she saw someone close to me that I have difficulties communicating with. She asked if it was 'Luv'. I didn't think so... and that the only person I feel real stress talking to is my Bil, bc I worry I will say the wrong thing and he will cut me off from the kids. She said who I 'think' it is probably 'is' who it is and not to think too hard on it. Just that she sees the communication difficulties there and is something I should work on. Then she said she sees me always trying to make $20. out of $10. LOL Saving here so I can spend there and that I always manage to have the money I need to do what I want and that I am a little lucky in that dept. I will always manage to have what I want. And on that note I said- True! As a matter of fact, we need to get going cuz we are on our way to Bingo to do just that! LOLOL

I think I would like to go for a full card reading, but not today- Luv is doing my breaks on the Audi (says they are close to scoring the rotors) and wants me to have new tires thrown on it today or tomorrow.

Luvs band is playing friday night. J is coming to sleep over. I can't wait! We really miss each other. We talk all the time but it's just not the same as when we get together.

It's really cool here and I am just loving it! Otto too! Luv will take him on a long hike tonight since he had rehearsal lastnight instead of tonight, so I won't be bringing him to my brothers. I am sure he will be missed! But Luv just will not part with him. He needs a walking partner and hates to stay home alone too. LOL

Please toss up some good intentions for Nini that she is able to make good choices that will help her to do what she needs to do. It's an incredibly daunting task for her to decide what she shud do for herself and Little Ling. I know she is really missing my sister right now and her guidance.

Off to finish things around the house so I can get ready for Bingo tonight with Mom!
Peace

I got a call from Nini last wednesday (Ottos Bday) asking if I could pick her and Ling up. She had a few days off school and wanted to make a long weekend at my house. Her BF decided not to come with her and she needed a ride. I went. Took me 5 hours all total. Ugh!

Henry and his baby and GF came thursday.

Friday- Luv had a dental appt down near Moms house, so he picked up Mommy and my sister.

Wow- instant houseful!

Henry brought his Quad and Luv took out his 4 wheeler and the kids had a blast riding all over the propery. We have 108 acres here- so they went on and on forever. They just loved it. Even Luv had a total blast.

Mom, my sister and I stayed in with the babies. OMG- soooo sweet! Little Henry is soooo adorable and an absolute angel! We all fought over who was going to get to hold him since he slept most of the days away and his Mom does not like to put him down for a second. Maybe she felt like we were vultures in waiting... I kind of felt like that. Then if we had him and he made even the slightest of noises, she'd yank him from our arms. Yeah- a little over protective...

Ling- well she is just sooo cute too! She smiles constantly, and has just started giggling- which is so infectious. She had us all giggling! She is teething, so there is constant drooling going on. It was like a faucet! LOL Thank God for baby Oragel is all I can say! She is not a cryer but she has the funniest little fake cry she was doing. Too cute!

We took everyone to Community Day. Not a whole lot going on there, but they had a puppy adoption set up- so you could pet puppies (who doesn't want to do that- right??) and there was a helicopter ride that Luv and Nini did together. Oh and cows and Llamas, and games.

Mom had to be taken home- the sun was too much for her. I could see she was just too tired to be walking around too. I was glad we only lived up the street so she and my sister stayed there while we went back. Henry and his GF wanted to cruise around the town and go over to P.A. for a ride.

It was a long day. We all had fun and finished it up with a game of Charades. Loved it!

Henry and his Gf took Otto for long hikes on the property and he played tug-of-war with him (his favorite thing to do!) so Otto really enjoyed himself too. He was wonderful near the babies too. He would sniff them a little but that was about it. I found it most interesting he curled up with Grammy at the end of the day. LOL I annoyed everyone with my '...and look at MY baby!' LOLOL

At night there was a lot of up and down with the babies waking for bottles and changes. We loved it! Nini was missing her daughter by Sunday. LOL We were on limited access to little Henry jeesh... I swear she thought we were going to eat him up! ( personally- I wanted to)

I sensed GF is a little jealous of Nini, so I tried to have a heart to heart with her. She lives with her Mom, so I said imagine going through all you are going through without her. Plus she is 19 yrs old... I told her we all have a lot more confidence in her, so she should feel good about making us all feel at ease.

Gf also said she can't imagine how Nini is living with her Dad- how horrible he can be at times. I chimed in- that's another reason we are in more contact with Nini... but the truth of the matter is GF and Henry don't return calls- and I took the opportunity to bring that up to her.

She clammed up a little when I asked why I make 10 calls (no exageration) leaving text and voice messages and NEVER get one call back. Her response- 'Sometimes I shut my phone off.' OOOOOKAAAAY- I understand that...and you can't return a call when you turn it on??? No response... I let the conversation drop. She's a bit strange and I tried not to make her feel like I was trapping her in an uncomfortable conversation. But it was only uncomfortable bc she was lieing about not returning my calls. (or my Moms and sisters either for that matter) I only addressed it bc I felt she was getting jealous a little about Ling and Nini.

I also tried to comfort GF by saying- at this stage Ling ,with the teething, is demanding a little more attention from everyone. (Mind you- Gf was being VERY clingy and not wanting anyone to hold little Henry) It just was awkward... Like she was making us feel like WE weren't being fair when we were trying to be very careful about that. This isn't the first time we have had two babies in the house after all...

Got to love it!

Ok so- all and all it was a fabulous weekend but it left me exhausted! Sunday I had to drive Mom home and my sister was going to stay another two nights with me so she took the ride. Well on the way to Moms my sister threw up in the car! Yes MY NEW used car! LOL UGH! I felt aweful for her but it was like NO CONTROL at all when she did it. Mom and I were in shock!

Got to Moms with all our heads hanging out the window LOLOL and cleaned the car that Luv JUST washed for me that day LOLOL Oh- what a perfect ending to an exhausting weekend! Not-

I was able to take my sister back home so I could take care of her for the next day and a half. She was wiped out. So far no one else got sick. Keeping our fingers crossed it stays that way.

Took her back to her car at Moms when I went to take Mom to Bingo. No winnings but on the way to Bingo Mom and I stopped and got a mini card reading done! I will update that whole thing next posting. For now- I am putting on my PJs and chillin.

Lots more to tell- but have to wait or this will be nuts long! Or is it already???
Peace

Today marks 4 years that we adopted Otto. He's about 5 1/2 or 6 yrs old now. No one knows for sure. One thing I do know- he sure doesn't ACT that old. LOL

I absolutely adore him. But then everyone knows that...

Last night Mom and went to Bingo. We had a two week dry spell with NO winning. Hmpf! LOL Mom won 100.00 last night. I am glad she won bc last week she did get a little 'monsterish' about losing two weeks in a row. Seriously- I swear we win so much by her sheer desire to win!

My brother watched Otto again, as usual. When I came in the house I noticed my brothers knee was skinned. I said 'OMG What happened???! Did Otto pull you down???!'
Nope- my brother misjudged the sidewalk that was heaved from a trees roots. They removed the tree but havn't fixed the sidewalk yet. My brother said it was a good 9in drop.

He said before he even realized what happened, Otto was standing one paw on his chest over him, looking around. LOL Probably was telling him 'Get up, get up- don't worry, no one saw you...' LOL My brother said he stayed right by him till he got up.

I said 'Well...one good thing is if you got knocked unconscious he has the ability to drag you home.' LOL


Today- I have a ton of cleaning to do for this weekend. My sister has asthma- so I want to make sure her room she will be staying in is as dust free as possible. Plus I need to wash all the bedspreads bc Otto lounges in all the spare rooms... PITA! Between my sister and these babies- I have a lot to do.

Tomorrow I will do the food shopping.

Luv is working at our shopping center with our guy B. They fired the landscaper bc he has been doing a lousy job, so they are going down to do it themselves. Plus they want to remove some of the bushes and get ready to put a coat of stain on the rear decking.

Feeling like I have allergies this morning. I hope that is all it is... Going to take something before I start going through this house like a storm.
Peace

Karolyn- had to laugh about ur crew doing Petco...you know I have had my share of nutty times at Petco. LOL Otto still acts like a kid in the candy store too. My only saving grace is that he will still obey commands. I just have to ask 3x.... lol

Ling is much better! Her bronchiatis is gone. She is very mildly cranky with the teething. Really a very tolerable baby. Just show her a little attention and she is so happy. My neice must smile a lot at her bc this baby smiles ALL the time. She's a little flirt. lol Would LOVE to hear what you used for ur kids! Lat me know if you think of it.

Noni-YES I am still doing my Yoga. I just haven't been to any teachers in a while. I kind of been doing my own thing lately and it just feels right. I know when I need an hour of just restorative or an hour of kick-*** yoga...and you don't have that option when you take a class.

I have found myself getting very selfish, in that I don't feel like even practicing with anyone. It's almost like I NEED my 100% attention for ME. In my quiet I can get a lot accomplished.

And Luv is still going to his Cracker. The man is fantastic... Luv has been feeling really great. Still has his hip bugging him now and then...but his neck and shoulders- not heard any complaints!

So it's Labor Day- but doesn't even feel like a holiday to me. It's very boring in our town today and Luv and I just watched movied all day. Of course with Otto crowding us.

This morning- Nini called, she is so sick. Throwing up...ugh. Her BF had work so Bil had to babysit for her- and lo and behold...... he did wonderful with Ling! I am so happy. He took care of her all day while Nini slept up in her room. I just spoke with her and he popped up to bring Nini some food.

He said he fed her, bathed her, and put a really cute outfit on her that he picked out himself with matching bib and sox. Nini said he was so proud how cute she looked (tee hee) He had a really good day with Ling.

I told Nini to make sure she shows her dad how appreciative she is and to make sure she compliments him on the job well done. I just sense Bil needs just as much encouragement as Nini and Bf. He seemed to want me to know he watched Ling all day and did well with her. (LOL) I told her to tell him I said he was a great Grandpa!

I wish I lived closer... but I told Nini she probably would be mad at me constantly coming over and taking her baby. lol I so would be like that too...

We are all so excited about next weekend! It's going to be so fun with Ling and Little Henry. My Mom and sister cannot wait to hold them both.

Now we are trying to plan what we will be doing for food. I hope Mom does some baking for us. I know my sister is making a pot of meatballs. She makes the best meatballs! I was thinking of making some Spanikopita bc it's something easy to heat and eat and goes well with a salad.

Ok...off to do some things.
Peace

Having a pretty quiet weekend. It's nice. The weather is fantastic!

I took Otto to Petco for a little shopping spree. We walked in the door and immediately a little boy ran up to us and asked if Otto was a Pit Bull, and that he LOVES them, and is he nice...could he pet him??? LOL It was cute. Otto was just as happy to see him, so it was a win- win situation.

Also in the store, was a small white female Bulldog. Sooo cute. But her owner/trainer was working intently with her standing properly with distractions. I guess for showing purposes. We did not disturb and instead headed into the section with the costumes and coats.

I got Otto a new red coat for the fall/winter. He looks so good in it. One of the groomers came out and said she was watching me try stuff on him... and admiring him. She had just lost her Pit that was also black. So Otto reminded her of him and she needed a hug. Which he was only too happy to oblige.

We picked up some more toothpaste, some treats and a new black cat squeeky toy. In the checkout Otto tried sneaking a treat off the cookie bar behind my back. I told him to sit but he layed flat out on the floor getting a lot of chuckles from everyone in line. Always the comedian...

Then we went to the ice cream stand and got some hambergers and ice cream for all of us and went home to share it with Luv.

I made plans with Henry and Nini to have them ALL to come up next weekend to my house. They are coming friday and staying till Sunday. Mom and my sister are coming too. We are having our Community Day that weekend so we can all go up the road to that if we want. I also invited Bil, but he said he didn't want to come. I am not surprised about that he rarely goes anywhere anymore, besides work. But I felt the need to at least try for the kids sake... It's a good possibilty they will have fireworks at the end of Community Day- they usually do and I am hoping if they do to try out Ottos new Thunder Shirt!

Luv has been working on his BMW and it's really coming along nicely. He is painting it and putting the rear lights on and stuff like that. Very talented he is. I'm impressed he hasn't lost any of his painting skills. Pretty good for not having painted in so many years!

Well it's getting late- I need to go walk Ottie for a bit and chk on Lady.
Hope all are having a wonderful weekend!
Peace

Nini called me tuesday night (when I was at Bingo with Mom) to ask if there was any way I could help her out by watching Ling for a few days. Ling got a bronchial infection and she didn't trust anyone to give her the meds she had to take.

School started and Ninis hours are like 6:30 am to 2 pm. Her Bf had work from 10am to 7pm and Bil refused to help them out. It was just for two days... and he just would not help. It's almost like he wants things to be hard for them.

I think I shocked Bil by showing up there for them. And Bil really shocked me when I was there. I know he has the communication skills of a slug, but seriously, the way he was yelling at Nini I had no choice but to get loud with him. I told him if he didn't knock it off with the put downs I was going to load that sick baby up in my car and take her home! And I meant it!

Bil was saying things like 'You got this baby sick by taking her to the mall...this is ALL ur fault!' And Nini said 'Well it wasn't like you were offering to watch her while I went school cloths shopping.' Lots of that back n forth kind of stuff... Later Bil calmly said to me 'You know I really do say encouraging things to help build her up too, you are never around when I compliment her...you only hear the horrible stuff.' I told him I am sure that is true- I was not there to choose a side- just to lend a very much needed hand. The more we support Nini and Bf the better parents they will be able to be.

I am not going to pretend to understand what he must be going through as a parent, but you know Nini and her Bf really ought to be praised for what they are doing. They are working together, raising their daughter. Both hands on. It's not like they ask anyone to babysit her. They are so proud of that little girl and hated even to leave her with me! (Maybe it has something to do with the tatoo... or that I mentioned getting her ears pierced...) JOKING! I would NOT do that!!! hahaha

They have the happiest baby. Even sick she doesn't cry. Just some growling here and there. LOL OHHHHH and this is UNBELIEVABLE- she is cutting teeth and I darn near fell on the floor when Bf said her eye tooth was coming in on her right side!!! I couldn't believe my ears- I said OMG- my dream about the Vampire baby! LOL That was just all way to spooky................ lolol and the way she growls.... LOLOL

Luckily she had a follow up Chk up from the Drs scheduled before I was going to be leaving and I was able to go to it. The Dr looked me in the eyes, trying to make sure I was listening to her expert opinion, and said Ling is very, very healthy and Mom is doing a wonderful job with her. The Dr complimented Nini on asking good questions and taking advantage of the nursing staff when she was unsure about things. The Dr gave me a nod and a wink that just made me feel so good. She knows about my sister being deceased and that I am not close and I suspect they are especially vigilant bc of Ninis age. I am so happy about that!

Then we get out to the car and Nini asks 'Can I drive???! I need to practice for my drivers test in January....' LOLOL This constant teetering between she is so mature, she is so young, is mind boggling. She hops in the driver seat all excited and then tells me we are taking all the back roads home. LOL Got to love it.

I cannot even begin to express how much joy these girls bring me.

But Bil...the way he yelled at us for having car trouble and being stuck at Olive Garden and extra half hour was just rediculous! I really can't stand the stress he puts Nini under. Like she had anything to do with my battery going dead. Turns out the battery was old and I just needed a new one. One of the kitchen help there jumped us and I got the autoparts store to pop in the new one for me. Who needs men anyway!?!

I'm glad that happened to us when we were alone together. It gave us both a shot of independence! Love it!

Luv was very happy I got home and didn't turn it into a whole weekend thing. Being a holiday weekend tho the shore was the last place I wanted to be, with all the traffic there, and lets not forget Hurricane Earl on his way.

We are having a fair down in the town we walk Otto. I think J may come and go with us. She needs to get away. Her DD got the go ahead from the courts to get her DNA tested so things are in motion now- finally! That whole thing has been very stressful for them all. J is STILL crying every day about it and said she fights depression about it. She thinks he is haunting her. I don't know where she gets her ideas from... It will be good to take her out and make her laugh and have some fun. I really hope she can come.

Noni- I wrote you and wiped it... that is soooo frustrating. What the heck do I do to cause that to happen?? It really is so aggrivating. I am going to write you now.
Peace All!

Really quiet and peaceful day today. Was nice since my night was weird. I had a bad dream that Luv was not going to take me home. We were at his drummers house. I had to peddle a drum kit home (yeah- cuckoo! LOL) and I was scared because it was dark, but I had to get home to Otto and Lady. Somehow I knew she had no water. Then suddenly I was pregnant, about 3-4 months ad I was afraid to tell Luv. So I didn't. I felt he would be upset since we really like how things are going right now and a baby would complicate everything. I felt like we really don't need this right now, but a little part of me was excited about it, bit afarid to allow myself to be excited about it... it was weird.

So I woke this morning and told Luv I was mad he didn't come home with me in my dream. (LOL) And he said 'Now you know **** well I wouldn't do that. So stop having these dreams and waking up mad at me.' LOL

Seems so funny and stupid now but at 1:59am it wasn't.


We had some realtors in to take pics of the house. Still trying to see what we can get for it. It would be nice to scale down... I am just so tired of cleaning this place. I love it immaculate- but dang I am just sick of all the work! It makes no sense to me to continue cleaning rooms that only Otto ever uses.

I want a smaller house and a backyard I can do up nice. I would like it a managable size... right now I have so much yard I couldn't care for it myself if I wanted to. It just seems like such a waste!

I would love a screened in Gazebo, to do yoga in, in the evenings... with little xmas lights on it.


I can't wait till Bingo tomorrow. I find myself missing my new friends there. Some of them may be considerably older than me but I really look foward to their company. Mom called and is impatient to get together too. LOL Even my brother who watches Otto has been calling. I sense he is looking foward to seeing Otto too. Haha


Went to the post office today and saw an old aquaintance. She is one of those older woman who has a very child like way about them. She had breast cancer quite a while ago and is doing well still. That was good to hear, but the oddest thing happened to me when I was saying hello and went to give her a kiss on the cheek... she turned her face so I got half her mouth, and then she hugged me noticibly pressing me into her chest. And then holding on just a second too long. I got the most awkward feeling from her that it set me back a bit.

We said our goodbyes and I mentioned I had to go food shopping. (me and my big mouth) She said she was going home. Well looking in my rear view mirror- there she was racing up behind me. I know her home was in the opposite direction. It was very obvious she was trying to catch up to me. It really creeped me out, so I drove even faster. And then so did she.

Finally after 15 minutes of this we came to a light that was red, but I opted to make the right so I could keep moving. I felt so ew...at that moment I wanted to call Luv. Thankfully she turned left.

I got to the food store and called Luv to tell him what happened. Of course he laughs at me. But told me to just watch myself and stop kissing and hugging everybody! LOL

I couldn't wait to get back home! Lets just say we won't be eating much this week.

Ok- enuf of my nutty self.
Peace

Yup- went to our little beach. It was really nice. I forgot the sunblock tho- so we left by 1pm. We both got a little red. The water was freezing! I can't believe how a few cooler days cud cool things off so fast.

When we got home Otto was waiting at the door for us. he looked a little miffed we left him home. lol I plan on taking him for an evening walk tonight to make it up to him.

Marta- yes, the t shirt is to be put on him when he starts showing signs of stree from a storm coming in. usually otto lets me know well in advance of it hitting us. Like he can here it from miles away... I hope it helps. He is much better than when I first got him, but I can't help but want to do everything in my power to make him more comfortable.

I also saw a very cute magnet on a car that made me think of out Peacebull Rescue. It was a peace sign with toe prints around it, so the peace sign was the paw print. I loved it! Wish I knew where they got it from! It wud be great for our store! haha

Ok- Now this one is for Noni!
Been trying really hard meditating and idk... I'm trying not to get overly worried, but I have to say I am. I have an overwhelming feeling something is not right.

I understand you need some space and we (I) might not know the right words sometimes...but please journal a few words so I know ur alright. (Even if you aren't)

I hope this is just me being wacky... I am like that sometimes but seriously- I am very concerned for your well being.

Till then I will continue to light my candle and do my yoga and meditations with a good intention set for you. I am really trying to focus 100% on you right now bc I have this feeling...

Ugh- hopefully I am just having wacky hormones and all is well!
Peace to you all!

It was so incredibly perfect, the weather, that I got Luv and otto up early yesterday. I gave Otto a shower before me and then Luv got in. I told him- I don't know what we are doing but we aren't doing it here! lol

First we stopped for coffee at a little local place and the owner (who I've known for yrs) asked if I wud be interested in helping her out there. She is tired of training kids and then they leave for school or whatever... so I thought- just maybe I would consider. It's VERY early hours, which I love, and it does have the best coffee! So not sure but maybe...

Then we headed off to the lot Luvs brother is buying, to check on things, and since Otto just LOVES running around there- it was a perfect day for it. Funny thing happened there- we ran into Luvs parents. They got up and had the same idea we had.

We then showed Otto the pigs that the neighbor has near the property line. They were little last I'd seen, but not so yesterday. They were huge! Otto was amazed by them. He froze in this muscle stance lolol He gets all tense and has every muscle flexed- it's funny.... and had a look of 'Wth is THAT!??' on his face. He kept smelling the air- to which Luv had to add 'Uh that wud be bacon Otto!' No I was not about to let them have a nose to nose meet, as much as they wanted to. The pigs were every bit as curious of him. I was afraid someone wud nip someone.... just not interested in any of that!

Then Luv and I went to chk on a few mansions we built a few years back. Yup- ran into parents again. LOL It was funny. I said ' Uhoh...I think we are turning into you two. LOL' Fil said 'Guess the apple didn't fall too far from this tree. Haha' Yeah it was funny. But Uh NO- trust me Fil - it did!

Ok- then we took Otto to a Bistro for lunch. It was lovely but dang that dog attracts a lot of attention. Everyone has to touch him and love up on him. lol

We also took Otto to a little shop called Fir Majesties. It's beautiful and they have really classy stuff in there. The fanciest treats you ever saw... just the nicest things. I ended up picking him up a Thunder Shirt. It's a tight fitting t shirt that is suppose to help dogs with any anxiety issues. Otto was so funny when she was trying it on him. He was laying flat out on the floor and rolled over for her so she cud fasten it. She said 'Oh my he is a character isn't he... LOL' I'm telling you- this dog has personality galore. I never cease to be proud of him.

It was a really nice day!

For today- I think we are going to our little beach.
I hope everyone has a really beautiful day! We all deserve that!
Peace

Today is Luvs Bday. We had a quiet day planned. Just a simple movie. Well- warning to anyone who wants to see Pirahna. I swear it was more like a porn flick. Not that I have ever seen one of those (honest) but seriously...it was rediculous. Luv was embarrassed and wanted to leave, but I made him hang out since we paid so much bc it was a 3D movie.

We were very tired today from yesterday- We called Nini and her Bf and asked if they'd like to meet us at Great Adventure (an amusement park) Luv wanted to go on rides and I just soooo do not need any thrills lately.... things could not possibly get too calm and queit for me. lol

So they were very excited about coming and Nini said she wud find a sitter for Ling which I said 'NO!- I will have her to keep me company while they all did the rides. Then within and hour Nini had BFs little sister coming and Bfs best bud coming too.

Not what I had in mind...but hey- the more the merrier! The kids got some soda cans that had BYGO free entrance so we only had to pay for 3 tickets! Nice. Then they used the money we saved to get the fast passes to jump the lines so they cud ride more rides. I am so glad the kids (and yes- they are all kids, Luv included, had a great time.

It was a great day- that is till I did the stupid Tea Cups with Luv and Bf at the wheel. It took me a full hour to settle my stomache after that. Ugh- never again! It was wise of them to put the bathrooms close to that ride ;/ No I didn't...but I sure wanted to.

Then Luv and I took Ling for a tatoo. LOL We got BRAT put on her, but then Luv panicked and washed it off her.... He was yelling at me that I am a bad sitter...the kids will NEVER trust me again....blah, blah, blah... he really panicked and was freaking out.

I said 'Uh...it's NOT real, chill out!' The kids thought it was funny. But even funnier that Uncle Luv freaked out and washed it off. LOL

Ling is starting to teeth and she is so funny how she does these little growling noises. She is not a fussy baby at all. She is very pleasant and happy. That is till she was gnawing on Uncle Luvs shoulder and he pulled her off bc the growling noises were scaring him a little. LOLOL

She is just adorable!

It was a long day but a lot of fun. Nini and Bfs little sister got their faces painted. I could have cried watching Nini...Here she is with this baby and wanting to get her face painted becuz she '...never did this before.' She is such a good Mom but she is still a little girl in so many ways. Her Bf seems to really have matured a lot in these past few months. I like him. I trust him. Which is unusual for me- I am usually pretty guarded, but I have to say- the way he and his best friend take care of that little baby.... I really get a good feeling about Nini and Ling. There is great support there. I think they are going to be just fine!

With me not riding the rides and just really walking around with the baby and Bfs little sister doing kiddie stuff, I was surprised at how much I have slowed down and how trully little it takes to tucker me out. What is it??? I am ready to call the Dr and make an appt to get my blood checked.

Seriously- since I broke my arm, I have significantly slowed down. Maybe this heat has a lot to do with this summer and my lack of enthusiasm...Idk... I'm just tired.

The recent few cooler days has been sparking my interests a little- so there is hope for me I guess. LOL

So Luv is 53 today. I really can't believ it. It's like everything is sneaking up on me. I have to say- the way he ran to all those rides and did them all, has me quite impressed how much pep he still has. hahaha

Got to go call J. Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Peace

Marta you crack me up... lol

Ugh- so much going on, forget where I left off. Oh well-

I went to the bank today and opened a savings acct for Nini to put her cash in. She has been stuffing a jar marked 'Shoe money' and it's getting full. Her Dad was asking her how much money she has...and she wasn't feeling like she wanted to share that with him. I told her she shouldn't. Hide it in a bank and save it for a rainy day! I tossed in a hundred bucks for her. (ahhh it was just Bingo money anyway) She was very appreciative tho.

Today she went to the beach with her girlfriend bc they got babysitters and it's probably their last hurrah before school starts. Bil gave Nini money for food, but she said she was just going to pack a cooler with foods and drinks. He told her he wanted her and her friend to go out to lunch and not be lugging a cooler around with them all day...in case they wanted to go on rides (which they did) and stuff like that.

Nini is trying so hard to be independent and not count on Bil for stuff like that. Her and her BF are doing well managing what little they have from his job. I think its admirable she is trying to not be a burden to her dad.

Ugh- but Bil teeters back n forth between being supportive and being a darn tree in the road.

It's somewhat cooler temps here but still too hot for Otto. I wait till dark but then we have the bugs...I just can't wait till FALL! And I have been having some hot flashes happening- so there is another incentive to pray for cooler temps. (Tho my sister says it doesn't really matter much)

Yesterday Otto was so sick with diareah. Have no clue why. Think it may have been the dog food I got...I tried to get some canned food for a treat. Yeah- some treat.

So I boiled up some rice and chopmeat for him. I have to laugh bc Luv always thinks it looks so good and wants to eat it. Cracks me up...

J is still having crying jags about DDs father dieing. I really don't get it.... I am trying so hard to be supportive but seriously- where is this coming from?
I have a feeling she is dealing with some serious guilt.

Guilt is one thing I really don't understand. I mean- we do what we do...it's not always easy to go back and reanalyse the whole thing. We forget a lot of why we felt the way we felt. Idk...

J's DH is getting suspicious of why she is crying all the time. I am worried about this bc he won't be happy to learn she is crying over him. Her DH hates him.

I am trying to snap her out of it, but she is obsessed.

There's more- but I need to go make dinner. I bought some fish for tonight.

Luv is painting the other BMW he bought as a parts car for my old car. It's in pretty good shape and if he can stip the interior from my wreck to put in his he will have descent car.

I think painting cars again is therapuetic to him. lol He seems to be enjoying himself.

His mouth is healing nicely too. (Did I mention he had more work from Endo??) He is getting all finished up!
Peace

Got to Moms early yesterday and had my brother run through the car wash with me. He loves the car and said I made out great! Beings he is an auto mechanic....that means a lot to me.

The car Karolyn is an Audi A4 Quatro. I love it! Naturally I would LOVE a new one...but for 1700.00 I can't complain. Got to remember the BMW only cost me 500.00, and I am not sure what the insurance company is giving us yet on it, but the agent said it was in very good condition and that would increase what he was able to give us on it. Yay!

Luv said anyway you slice it we made money. Only thing it cost us is Luv....

ooops gtg...phone calll
peace

Really loving driving the Audi. The color Noni-is a pearl white. Not my fav...but it's growing on me. The car drives great.

We drove it to north Jersey for Luvs gig. He is very happy with it- though he has a preference to BMW. Thinks the BMW is better at hugging the road. I told him if you don't speed....you don't have to worry about hugging the road!

Tonight is actually my first trip to Bingo in it. Last week Mom won 185.00! Me - nuttin. lol But we did meet my Aunt and Uncle there and it was fun playing with them. As for Mom winning again- I actually am feeling a little embarrassed at how much we have won there...it's crazy. I do keep a list for Mom and we are shocked at how much we have won. I also do the math on how much we spend. Moms odds are better than mine but we are both in the green! lol

Luv did not go to the Cracker before his show friday. Was too scared he would be in too much pain. He did well. Actually very well... The little mess ups only his number one groupie would notice. LOL It was a lot more fun than I anticipated.

They opened for an all girl band that does Judas Priest cover tunes. JP is LLuvs FAVORITE band in the world! So we were very excited to see an all girl rendition of it. They were pretty darn good too! I met a really nice guy there and we hung out all night bsing about band stuff. It made the night fun. It was a great crowd. Everyone was pretty wild- as to be expected with a Judas Priest cover band...but since they were all girls (from NY) a lot of Lesbians were there to support them. One in particular very smitted for me. lol Kept apologising to Luv for 'checking me out'. lol


The next night we had a party to go to at Guitarists house (7yrs olds dads) It was very low key and I was glad we went but very tired! The party is kind of an odd thing he does every year... it's a celebration of him getting divorced. I don't quite 'get it'. I mean- he has been divorced for 6years now, has a new GF, a new life...why the need to 'celebrate' that?? Much of the conversation is about how his wife hurt him...and what a B she is.... I couldn't help myself- I told him he needs to release all that! Let it all go- poof! You shouldn't have to revisit all that to appreciate where you are. It's not neccesary to keep carrying that bag...

Then I noticed his GF has her own divorce issues she is carrying. She wants a Divorce shower and wants to go register somewhere for gifts!

Kind of bums me out to think of all that. I just don't get it.


Little brother came home this weekend! I got him a cool rock T shirt from the shopping trip we did at the shore, for him. He loved it! Mom said he wore it 3 days straight! LOL Refused to let her wash it- she had to sneak it away from him at night. lol

I took him and Mom out to breakfast Sunday early morn. Then we went CD shopping! He got new head phones (always does!) and was quite happy about all that.

He was exceptionally well behaved again. I mean- he has to be supervised constantly- but his meds must be at the right mix right now- bc he is doing better in all areas.

He is so polite to everyone he meets... It really catches people off guard how kind and interested he is. You just don't expect that when you see him. I love how he pulls that off. lol

J is STILL very depressed about DDs Dad dieing. She still crying a lot. Going into this big detail about how she would have liked to have gotten back with him.... I am lost! I don't know where all this is coming from. She is complaining of feeling guilty all the time. I think she and her DD are dramatising the whole thing way tooo much. I mean- it's not like this guy wasn't around for easy access to- his whole life. He was good friends with Js brothers.

All I know is she is consumed with it. I told her I think she needs to rekindle her relationship with her DH and cut the BS. So she went to a few outings with her DH and they are working on things. I feel J is just craving some very much needed attention. It's been too long that she has been living separate from her husband, while being under the same roof. I understand how this can happen... but I also understand it can't go on forever. And I know they deeply love each other. They just need to get out of bad habits of taking each other for granted. They need to date!

Ok- so that's my mini take on it all... lol All I know is- they went out a few nights together and J is sounding better.

OMG- cutest thing happened with Nini- She and BF went out on this dinner cruise that she has wanted to do FOREVER. Apparently BFs Dad offered to pay for them since they have really been being very frugal with their pennies since having Ling.

So Nini tells me they went and it was beautiful...the sunset, the food.... everything. They sat at a table with two other couples. Nini said everyone was quite a bit older- like QUITE A BIT. lol But that was no prob for them. The problem came when Nini wanted to dance and BF was too shy and complaining the music was too old. LOL Nini begged him to do the Twist with her- egging him with 'Come on! We will NEVER see any of these people again, it's OUR night out and I want to dance!' BF did not want to be the only couple dancing on the floor- and especially doing the Twist! LOL

Apparently an older man at their table over heard them and asked if BF would mind if he danced the Twist with Nini.... so off they went. I am sure the woman at the table egged BF to go cut in! and he finally did. Nini said it was sooo much fun. The DJ took pity on the kids and played two youthful tunes the kids loved and the kids got everyone up dancing. Nini said everyone had a great time! LOL The older man said 'I guess I lost my dance partner!' LOL

The rest of the night was a mix of tunes that all could enjoy. And Nini said they had their first slow dance ever. I asked how that went and all she could say was ' aaaawkwaaaaaard!' lolol

I told Nini she is JUST LIKE her Mom! My sister was always the first girl on the dance floor and always got everyone going. I just wanted to cry hearing that story from her...

Awe man.... I miss my sister sooo much. I can't help but feel she was there nudging Nini and her BF out onto that dance floor....
Peace

We bought the Audi! I was not initially too happy about it but when we got it home and I really started looking at it...it's sooooo much better than the BMW!

Lots more features like heated seats, 6disc cd player, all wheel drive... plus the interior is really nice. I am loving it! And Idk why I thought it was so much smaller inside- it really isn't. Otto fits perfect and sat in the back seat while I programmed the radio and cd player.

Lastnight I went out in the dark to see how the interior looks and all the lighting is red. I love it! So much softer on the eyes.

Yeah- this car is def a step up!

The BMW was towed in yesterday too- so now I am able to side by side compare- no contest. Even the color is better. Luv said it is a much better car. So today we go register it!

I can't wait to pick Mom up for Bingo in it!

Today is Mil bday. Last I heard we ARE going to Sils house...I was really preferring going out, but....Fil is being a PITA about spending too much money on eating out. Can't say I blame him...

Today the insurance agent comes to look at the BMW. It really is a mess. Luv got hit a lot harder than I thought. I am so glad I wasn't in that car with him. That would have really freaked me out! Now I understand why he is still nervous.

I am getting sick- got some chest cold thingy going on. Don't know how I will manage this friday nite when Luv plays out again. I am allso worried about how he is going to make out singing with his neck and now his jaw hurting.

We go to the Crackers in the morning. I hope he can get Luv in a way he can perform without too much trouble. Right now- his voice is suffering from all this...

Got to go feed Otto and Luv. Hope everyone has a great day! Peace and prayers going out to you all.
Peace

It's monday- and I just didn't want to get up today.

Luv had a Cracker appt first thing. I had all to do to take care of Lady and Otto, and get myself showered and dressed. Luv is slow to rise too since his fender bender.

The Cracker made some comments about how Luv still has good muscle and he is built well for his size and age blah, blah, blah... I was sitting in the waiting room but could hear this conversation- and I had to laugh. The I heard Luv yell ' Did you hear that hon?! I have good muscle tone!' I said ' Awe great! Now I have to deal with his big head on top of you giving him a lisense to be a PITA last visit! Keep it up and I'm leaving him here!'

The Crackers wife rolled her eyes as if to be saying 'Oh no you won't!' LOL

Tonight Luv told me to rub his feet bc the Dr said it would help his healing to have foot massages... Ok- party's over!

After Dr visit we went to look at a used Audi. It's newer than the BMW, but I don't like it nearly as much. Luv low balled her on the price bc he saw a leak. He says if it needs engine work and he has to work on it he is going to be compensated or the heck with it. So we'll see... she is showing it to another person tomorrow. Personally I didn't care for the interior (it's grey leather) and it's even smaller than the BMW. I don't really care if she doesn't bite.

Then we had some other errands to run. Just enuf that Luv started complaining about sitting in the car. And he is skittish about traffic now, which makes things worse bc he was constantly complaining I was too fast, too close, and too bumpy and it was killing him.

Sil called. Mils bday is thurday and she asked if we could all go out. (LOL) I guess they don't want us at the house after Fathers Day. Fil is too cranky and I think Mil and Sil want to keep him in public to keep the peace. Works for me.

So I have plans to have J follow me to the courthouse (she doesn't know the way) and then I am going down to take Mom to lunch and Bingo. I might shop for a gift for Mil with my Mom. Maybe she can help me pick something out for her.

I am exausted. The heat is kicking my butt! So I am going to bed soon.

Noni- I have to admit- ur news has really taken a lot of wind out of my sails... I am just so sorry this is happening to you.
Peace

Karolyn- To earn mula on PetVille you have to clean up other peops pets and their houses, feed your pet (I wish there was a way to feed others pets) and do challenges. Also earn from buying furniture!

I do NOT buy coins. (Yet- lololol) I don't want to get into that...I just play and get what I get and work with that.

You can sell stuff by dragging it to the cash register (Pops up when you switch from friends to storage. (Click on storage box you will see it to the right) No gift is useless. You can sell them for coins!

Also click on the world icon and see more shopping and challenges for earning coins. The Genie lamps earn you lots of coins when you get all the jewels. Keep playing them!
Getting friends also earns you coins!

As for Luv- didn't exactly hit his head any place special. Just the rear slam and then the front slam shook him up. I will chk with Cracker about cranial work. I wouldn't be surprised if he knows about this. He is pretty up on things.

Marta- As far as emancipating Nini... she sort of is already- just by having a baby. I don't think her going to a court to exercise more of that would be in her best interest right now. It's very complicated.... for instance- when my sister died the kids were left a very large sum of money that is in trusts. Bil also has accts set up for the kids that he manages. It's a sizable sum. Also- even though her Dad is an alcoholic- he is her only living parent. I don't want her riddled with guilts for something that we may be able to skirt around and not make so damaging to their relationship. She loves her Dad. Not the alcoholic.

Your prayers mean more than I can even express. Thank you my friend! I really do appreciate your time and concern. Maybe you cud shed some light on what you have found with kids in this situation. Any info you can offered is appreciated!

Ok- so we went to drummers party at his house. He made it sound like it was a BIG bash. Luv and I almost didn't want to go...but he said it was a little for him Mil who has lung cancer that had recently been found in her brain, and it was something she was looking foward to. How could we NOT go??? I know his Mil from when we had those Lomi-Lomi sessions at my house. She came for one bc she was suffering from an accident.

His Mil was sooo happy to see us. I was really glad we went! It turned out it was only the band and their kids who went. It was very low key and quite nice. The food was all burned by the drummer LOL so we noshed on fruit and salads- which was perfect! And they came out with a little cake for Luv to sing Happy Bday to him (his bday is the 27th) Later the guys pulled out some guitars and tom toms and Luv sang a few songs. One song they found the words to in the guitar case was that song that goes....'went to the desert on a horse with no name...' and even us girls chimed in for backup help with the la la las. LOL It was fun and it actually came out quite good! All while the kids roasted us marshmellows. It really was fun. I was glad we went.

More importantly- drummers Mil really loved it. She got a little emotional, which is normal with all she is going through. She is such a vibrant person, it's humbling to know she is going through all this.

She asked a lot of questions about my sisters and their battles. I was very careful in how I said things. I was very clear that every person and every disease is different. What doesn't work for one may be the perfect cure to another. I focussed more on my surviving sisters ordeal than the one who passed. She really saw the humor and had her laughs through her treatment. It helped her to cope and was also beneficial to the whole family. I told her not to lose her joy in all this. I can't help but feel people need a rally of good wills when they are battling something. It's so easy for everyone to get consumed in the fears.

Her Dx is stage three lung cancer. It's pretty serious but I said 'You know- you and I have the same right to enjoy THIS day, which is the only day any of us has.'

Then she proceeded to do a hat fashion show for us all! I loved it! Reminded me of my sister who passed... she was such a lover of all hats and what better way to seize your femininity back than a big floppy hat!? I just LOVE watching her grace. I pray for her comfort and peace.

We were the first to leave the party since we had Otto home waiting to be fed and let out. I also sensed the drummers wife really wanted to get her baby to bed, who was getting very cranky and trying to fight it.

There was one point in the evening I was a little miffed about. The 7yr olds Dad (who had the big fight with Luv weeks ago) was talking about how he has been in counciling for his anger issues for years, and made a smiley smirk at his Gf when referencing his fight with Luv. I sensed he was sort of bragging to her. Then he made some comment about Luv has a temper and I should get a medal for putting up with him.... Wow- I thought is he really going to try and dump that bag on Luv??? Does he really think I don't know what happened that night??? Luv and the drummer and the other guitarist told me how the whole thing went down. If I were him I would be ashamed of myself.

Luv is tough but only to the extent of perfection in the unity of the band. Not in a contesting way. I hate to say it- but I told Luv the more I get to know this guy and his Gf the more I don't care much for them. He laughed because he was feeling the same way.

I shud add- the Gf bc of her rant on and on about 'how dare!' some woman breast feeding in her room (Gf is a dental hygenist) under a cover (much like the one Nini used AND the drummers wife) I thought Wow- who the heck are you?!? Grow up! The drummers wife just flashed me a look like 'Did she just indirectly diss me??'

They are both just very superfiscial and immature.

When we got home J called me and had some good news. Her DD had an envelope sitting on the table for about a week now... and in it was the death certificate for her father that she needed to make claim to being his executor of his estate. This is great news! She will bring it next tues when she goes back to the courts.

Well- I am off to take Otto out for a bit and take care of Lady.
Peace

Have you ever been faced with a big battle? A huge monumental battle and not a darn way to go around it? Just have to meet it head on?? Well- I have one brewing and it's got Bils name written ALL over it!

I also have my hands full with Luv. He is hurting bad and on top of it he is irritable and forgetting things. Can't manage to say what he needs to say... forgetting words of songs.

He was horrid last night at rehearsal. I was a little upset listening to him explain it to me.

I took Luv to the Crackers this morning and said I wanted to stay in the car to continue my meditation (Noni...) I was settling in when i got the call the Cracker wanted to speak with me.

I sat in the room with Luv while we waited for him to do another adjustment on someone else. Luv was on some shock box and being iced. I told Luv i did not want to hear any BS. I told him he needs to do what he has to do and get better and not put me in these positions where I am worrying...

Dr comes in and sits me down, says he always explains to the wife/husband of anyone who suffers whip lash, what has happened and most important- that I must have tremendous patience while he is healing.

Told me I can expect Luv to be forgetful, and very irritable. He asked me to hold my hand out and started poking at it. Said it's not real annoying yet, but give it a few minutes and I will start to get irritated. Well- he said this is what happened to the nerves in Luvs neck and back and they need time to calm down. He is very swollen in there. Luv will be reacting to those feelings he is dealing with.

He instructed NO RED MEATS. They are no good after a trauma or for healing. He went into detail why (I wish I remembered it all) and said he should be taking his vitamins and fish oils faithfully (he does) AND sleep a lot! Which Luv has been feeling guilty about wanting more time to sleep in the mornings.

He gave him a jigsaw puzzle to do. Said he needs to do crossword puzzles, and things of that nature to exercise the brain to help make new connections.

It was a very informative conversation. I was thankful for it, but have to admit, it was upsetting watching Luv take the jigsaw puzzle. I know how much he hates them (he never wants to help me with them) I am the crossword puzzler...he thinks I am nuts to do them. Now he has to...

I just don't like seeing how fragile we all are. And lately I have been over exposed to that fact. hmpf!

So Luv started doing his puzzle- he looked so cute at the table. Asking me how to start.... and how he thinks it should be started.... It's a jungle scene puzzle too. LOL Said he's going to glue it and frame it for the Drs office, IF he ever finishes it. LOL

And J- still crying and struggling with that. It breaks my heart she is feeling that so much.
Just a lot going on lately- or is it always, and I am just more mindful of it??
Peace

The audition went great! We all had a great time and the band did very well. I am sure they will be playing there again soon- and then, for money!

I had a ton of fun with J and her DD's and their Bf's. It just was a blast that we all needed. Perfect timing Luv!

Marta- And armadillo!??! OMG...I have never seen one ('cept for photos) I can't imagine them things running around...ahhhhh. U will have to tell me more about them!

As for T mixing religion and politics... HUH??? I don't even know how to respond to that... It makes no sense. But then we all are entitled to our own.

Noni- Thanx again. And I have thought long and hard about Nini moving in. It won't be easy for either of us. Nini is a bit messy (ok- a lot messy) I am a neat freak. Maybe we could teach each other a thing or two. You know balance each other out....

I don't pretend it will be easy.

As for someone else...not enuf room at Moms and the school system is horrid there...I don't even know if Bil would let her come here... it's VERY complicated. :/

I have certainly thought of the things you have mentioned, and thanks- for making sure I have. It's important to be realistic.

Jury is still out on all that.

And Robin- WW does NOT kick you out- ever! Thank God! LOL I am like you- I don't like buying cloths bc I always think I can lose a few first...orthe style will change to something easier to pick out. LOL Ugh...sometimes u just have to bite the bullet. LOL

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Drove J and her DS to Jersey Shore, where he had to deal with a ticket he got, and I had to pick up Luvs police report for his accident.

J and I spent a little time on the boardwalk. Saw the cast taping for the show Jersey Shore. Let me just say- they look a LOT thinner in person. And better looking. LOL

They drew quite a crowd! What with all these camera men running around them and security. J's DS told me a lot of people want to beat them up- just for fun... can you imagine? Ugh...

J and I also went to visit her Sil who has the throat cancer. She got the stomach feeding tube taken out and is starting to eat a little. She looks a world better, J said. Very thin- like the scary kind...but her color is good and her hair is coming in and I think she just looks so modern and hip with it! I loved it!

I am sending her a botle of Luvs throat spray to help her a little. It's really scratchy feeling and I know this stuff will help with it. (If her Dr approves- of course)

It is insanely hot and muggy here. Just gross. And I drove J's car with NO A/C! We were soaked...you'd think I would have lost a lb with all that- Nope.

Baby Henry and his parents are doing very well. The normal 'new parent' stuff. His Gf has a lot of experience with girls, she has a few neices...but this is the first boy. lol Little dif equiptment. LOL

Nini is helpful to them too. She's just talking like an old pro about breast feeding and all that good stuff. I feel like the kids will really help each other. They have to...Bil is a mess and going no where.

It's hard to even talk about him.

Nini asked if she could come up with her Bf and the baby and he said he didn't trust she would come here...When nini said 'Well call Aunt and Uncle...' he said ' I don't know if I can trust them to tell me the truth.'

REALLY! I am beside myself! The audacity.

I am sure he is trying very hard to provoke me as he does Nini...It's trouble he is taunting. I don't like being messed with. He doesn't want to see the other side of me.

Otherwise- I WON (YES- that's what I said!) I WON 150.00 at Bingo! Mom won 33.00! LOL I gave Mom the winnings- she needs the money something fierce. I am concerned. Her jobs have been cutting back on her. And she needs the money.

Good Lord- everyone might be moving in with me! Hahaha

I try to remain open to whatever may be coming my way. Pray I succeed

Otto is doing very well. He is up a few lbs from lack of walks from the heat (I fear I am too) but it cannot be helped. The fall will be here soon enuf!

He really enjoys his late night walks my brother takes him on when we go to Bingo. I can't do that here- it's too dark and too much wild life to contend with...

Luv is having rehearsal and I can hear he is really struggling. He sounds bad- something I don't get to say to much. He went to Cracker- and he said he is VERY swollen and a mess. He did all kinds of things to him.

I know it's bad bc it is affecting his singing- a lot.

Well- I have a ton of book work I am going to get strated on tonight and hopefully finish before his Cracker appt tomorrow morn.

I do feel a little stressed. I am not happy with how things are progressing for J and her DD. I am worried about Luv and his neck and back. Just lots of things...
Peace

Luvs band is doing an audition tonight at some club in PA. I an hoping it will be an early night since they go on at 8pm. J will be meeting me there since she lives close to this place.

I need to color my hair and find something to wear. Ugh I really need some new cloths.

Otto seems to be Ok from the groundhog bite. I'm not even sure if it is from the groundhog. Luv said it could be from his own tooth, the way it looks... I am sure it will be all healed by tomorrows vet visit.

It did not stop him from wanting to investigate the one living under our shed in the back though. And I don't have him on a leash in the yard... so I need to try and train him better with the 'leave it' command.

Mom is finally putting her kitchen back together. They completed all the cabinets and the dishwasher works GREAT! Marta- why not chk into portable ones. They are great too and I think they come in all sizes. Mom had one years ago that even had a butcher block top she could use for chopping.

Anyway- it is a realxing weekend so far. I hope it stays that way!
Peace

For starters- Henry and his Gf Emily had a beautiful baby boy on July 30th. He was just about a week early. They named him Henry Robert and he was 7lbs 3oz, and 20 inches long. Just adorable!!! I know- I know...I am aweful with posting the darn pics! Grrr

It was so wonderful being able to be there waiting for the delivery. Nini called me and Mom at 5:30 am to tell us she was in the hospital.

Luv and I dropped Otto at my brothers, grabbed Mom and headed straight down to the shore. Ugh- traffic was a bear!
I don't think we were there an hour- and he arrived.

Henry was so happy to see us all there when he came out to get his sister and Dad to come see the baby. He was so surprised and happy we were all there. I could see the immediate change on his face. See how proud he is...

Bil knew they went to the hospital at 3pm the day before with her water broke and NEVER called Mom or me. Didn't even tell Nini till very late at night. Too late for her to want to call us. I am very on guard about Bil for that.

After we saw the all settled into their room- we left. bil then offered if we would like to stay over for a few days.... we all just looked at each other and declined, saying we didn;t have cloths, etc..., but thanks anyway.

I have to admit- it was hard for us to look him in the eyes.

Then Ninis Bf came in. I don't particularly care for him much after what he did to Nini afetr she had Ling...so when he came up to me with his arms held out and said ' Awe come on Aunt Patty, give me a hug.' I did- but I wanted to say you are not back into my good graces just yet....

I know Nini saw my discomfort. I did not want her to. I had hoped I could just come around in my own time. And who knows- maybe I will. I did like this boy initially. I know Nini loves him. But this forced me to have a converstion with Nini I really would have rather saved for another time.

More on that in a bit.

So we were all leaving and Nini's, Bf's, Mom (good grief) Had Ling in the car, waiting for us to see her- and when we got there she didn't turn around to say hello till we were about to leave. It was rude and awkward.

I am pretty good about holding my tongue, but I have to say- I came real close to confronting her. I don't like the advice she is giving my neice (to quit school and get her GED later) so she can do 'right' by her baby.

Hmmm- yeah, I had to have a converstion with Nini and I could see she knew it.

I hugged and kissed Nini, Ling and her BF goodbye and told Nini I would call her later. She said 'Thanks Aunt Patty.' while staring into my face.

Later we talked. I told her we need to have a serious sit down conversation. Her relationship with her alcoholic father is deteriorating and I sense she is being forced to spend more time at her Bfs house with his Mom and I have my concerns about that and her advice.

Nini said she really has no other place to go when her dad is drunk and beligerant. There is no talking to him. He is getting more outspoken. She is not happy about going to Bfs house, doesn't feel comfortable there, but what other choice does she have?

I told her how sorry I am that I can't find it in me to forgive and forget the things her Bf has done to her yet. I don't trust him and I feel bad I can't accept him. I also said something snippy to her- that was a direct result of my feelings for him. I had to appologise for taking it out on her. She thanked me for that and said she also appreciated me biting my lip and hugging and kissing him when she knew it was not easy for me. She says she completely understands. She has her own concerns too and knows I am only looking out for her and Ling.

I told her I want her to seriously consider coming to live with me when the new school year starts. I offered to watch the baby while she goes to school. It is not an easy desicion to make and she needs to think long and hard about it and discuss it with her Bf. I told her I want her to be able to do what she needs to do so she doesn't have to live with regrets or worse- spend the rest of her life in counciling trying to figure out why she has no self esteem... I want her to know she has a plan B and always will as long as I am still breathing.

I haven't spoken to Luv yet, but I know he has the same concerns I have. As does my mom. Who would be closer to accomodate Nini as well.

Nini said she interested. I told her to please think it all through- we have time.

Ok- and lastly- phew! Otto snagged a ground hog tonight on our walk. It was hiding in the tall hay, and bit him in the mouth. It bled like crazy! Luv ckd him out and said it wasn't anything serious. It stopped bleeding quick enuf. I called the Vet who said wash him good (and myself) and she will see him monday for a booster and take care of the rest of his shots we just got a notification for.
Peace

I wasn't sure what you were talking about at first... I have to admit it took me a few days to figure it out. I was not given a notification here. Maybe it is in my Emails...

Thank you darling! But you seriously did NOT have to that! I am just overwhelmed... thank you!

You are one of those kind souls the world can't get enuf of.

THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.
And have I told you how much I love ya lately?!? I do.
Peace to you!

Luv took my car to the Jersey shore to pick up his pants he bought and had hemmed and got slammed in the rear by a bunch of teens. They hit him so hard he smacked into the car in front of him.

Luv ended up taking an ambulance ride to the hospital near Bils house (where Nini had Ling) They did xrays and the usual treatments for such an accident. Luv is very stiff and sore, and probably will be for a bit- but at least nothing is broke.

I have my concerns bc he never really recouped totally from the fall at the Cancer Benefit. I am very concerned.... but trying to hold possitive vibes for him.

And the BMW is wrecked! Grrr I loved that car! Everybody loved that car! Grrrrrrrr

While Luv was in the hospital near the shore- I went with J and her DD to get some legal stuff done for her DD. Apparently the 'friend' who said he was Executor of the Estate- is NOT! So these people are in their doing stuff they should not be doing. It getting messier every day.

However J's DD can't complete the paperwork to become the Executor till her DNA reports are all back. That stuff is under way and going to take about a week.

In the mean time- J is feeling aal kinds of guilty about just about everything! She is allowing people to make her feel like she did something wrong by not making her DDs father pay child support all these years. J said- If he wanted to do that and have a relationship with his DD he could have- Nobody was stopping him. But then she feels her DD wishes she persued it more...

Her DD has said she does not feel that way...but J is very superstitious and hard on herself. She is coming up with all kinds of 'bad luck' theories... it's crazy.

I don't know how we cud be so different in our beliefs on some things, lol, but we are. I am just NOT 'about' stacking bags of burdens on shoulders. Life is plenty hard enuf!

We all had a nice lunch together after all the paperwork and then met Nini and her BF to collect Luv. The kids picked Luv up from the hospital and helped him empty my car out and met us half way.

They were suppose to have met Luv at the beach where he was picking up his pants, till the accident happened just a few miles away. They just happened to be going to the beach yesterday. Nini was hoping they cud all have lunch together.

So--- now Luv has to finish the other BMW pronto!

I swear- when it rains it pours!
Peace

We are still waiting for Henrys little baby to arrive. Tic toc... We really can barely wait! He is getting so nervous. I sense the reality of it all is setting in. Huh! Wait till he gets here! LOL Now THATS reality!

Nini is absolutely thrilled to be becoming an Aunt. She is doing very well. As is our little Ling! Love those girls!

I- have been going through lots of 'stuff' with J and the passing of her DDs father P.

Little background- J's DD never met her father and his Mother (his only family) was never told about her. Sooooo the funeral was quite awkward!

The Mother was only told about J's DD the day before the viewing! The woman was kind enuf to extend an open arm to them and agreed to meet at the funeral home to speak. It was awkward, to say the least, but the woman said she would have LOVED to known about her! Was actually quite upset she had lost 26yrs of the joy of knowing her.

Then she turned on J. Who happened to be feeling overly sensitive about the whole thing.

Well- there's a lot of drama going on right now. J is having DNA testing done to prove she is in fact his DD. I think the Mother deserves that, for her piece of mind.

It was a tremendous blow enuf to lose her son...but then to find out she is a Grandmother AND Great Grandmother! Just too much!

I have been helping J with paperwork and have some running around to do with her today. She is not making many friends along the way...so I am trying to keep a lid on her. And I hate to say it but she isn't exactly coming off sounding too good. Something I know to not be the case. Some can be their own worst enemy....

So her DD was unable to see her Dad, due to the extensive autopsy that was performed. The death is under suspicion. I am wondering if they are trying to rule out suicide... At this point, I just don't know. There is so much talk of how depressed he was.

Not being able to see the body was incredibly upsetting to J's DD. She was insisting at first, till I asked the Funeral Home Director to please be frank about what she may see. We all had concerns of that image being the only impression she had of her Dad. They were kind enuf to give her a CD of the video of pics they ran at the viewing.

It's a pretty complicated mess.

AND some 'friends' of her Dads have been ransacking his Condo, took his dog, and are driving his car... so it is getting complicated and lawyers are being sought to get a handle on things.

In the end I HOPE J's DD can have a relationship with his Mom. It's getting strained right now, partly bc of animosities between the Mother and J. (bc J never told her she was pregnant) but I feel it could be very healing to both J's DD AND her Dads Mom if they can connect and find some space in each others lives.

Ok so that is what has been occupying a lot of my time lately. It has also opened my eyes a little to the nature of people (and not always the good nature) and it makes me a little sad. I mean- sometimes it can be quite shocking,to me, the lack of humanity. Hey- I am not perfect by any means...but people really need to have more compassion for others. Is it really so hard to put yourself in anothers shoes, to understand them???


Last night went to lunch and Bingo with Mom. I won 100.00! Woo Hooo! LOL You know it's all a wash by the time I drive there, eat and play games. LOL But I love it!

Some good news! My sister is finally off her Tomoxifen that she has been taking since she had breast cancer. They feel she should be feeling much better now. Not such drastic hot flashes and all that. She has really suffered badly. And they found she has a thyroid problem that they gave meds for. Hopefully this will help with her recent wt struggles.

My sister also made me a beautiful afghan. I love it and what a great keepsake!

Today is the 8th anniversary of my little brothers death. I miss him tremendously. He was both a great joy and sorrow to our family. I still can't believe we lost him so young! But yet he made quite an impact in his few years.
Peace

So much going on.

Went to Henrys Gfs baby shower. It was extremely HOT! If I was my old aunts I would not have even gone. I was so worried about everyone. The girl who threw the shower did not even get there early to put A/C on, when she does- she forgot to push the button to cool... good grief!

Food was great- but how could they serve warm sodas??? I had to ask for ice to be put out for the drinks and they gave me a look like I was annoying. Too bad!

My A/C in my car broke on the way down there for the 2+ hour drive with J, Mommy, Luv and two cheese platters! Good thing I packed tons of cold drinks!

OH! and on the way down Luv hit a Seagull on the Parkway! Now WHY was it there...NO CLUE! But we hit it! It was aweful!

Nini and 'Ling' (AKA Tini or Maylia) came back home with us. Luckily we brought her car with us since it already had all her gear in there!

And the babys new nickname is Ling. LOL Nini and her friends call her that and it REALLY fits her. Hahaha Her official chinese name is May Ling. I love it! And even wish she really named her that!

When we were kids my sister was best friends with a chinese girl all through school. Her entire teen life she wanted to marry a chinese man and have chinese babies. Well- that never happened, so then she would always fantasize about adopting a chinese child.

So when Nini came up with the name I about cried. The baby really looks like that name would be perfect for her too! LOL She has a tiny face and big eyes. So cute!

While out shopping a little chinese boy kept coming over to Maylia and wanting to see her. He asked what her name was. I couldn't help myself...I said Ling! He ran to his Mother telling her. He was so excited! It was so cute. Nini just rolled her eyes at me like her Mom use to do.

I couldn't help but feel blown away, and that my sister was giggling with me.

It was so wonderful having Nini and Ling over for a few days. Mom stayed one extra night too. The baby is so good. Such a content baby! And the softest little cry, but only till she sees you and then you get a BIG smile. As long as she knows you are near and going to change her, she is happy girl!

Even Uncle Luv adored watching her for us while we played Manopoly and Yahtzee. Very sweet!

Some bad news... a waitress that always took care of us at the local breakfast joint passed away. We just LOVED her! She was such a blast the way she bantered with everyone. We were both shattered to hear. She was just 15 days shy of her 50th bday. It was a massive heart attack. We went to the funeral yesterday. So sad!

Then more bad news. J's first DDs father passed away. Apparently he was taking some meds to help him stop drinking, but he drank with them and died. At least that is the story going around. I will find out more soon.

Sunday is his viewing. J asked if I would go with her. He too is just under 50yrs old. It really was a terrible shock. J has been crying alot. Her Dd never knew him, so it makes it all the harder for J. Now she feels incredibly guilty. He never met her DD or her DD (his granddaughter) And it turned out he was battling depression and was incredibly lonely.

That just drives me crazy to hear of someone lonely. How does this happen???

So yes- I am going to go with her. I am sure we will be seeing a ton of friends we havn't seen in years. I wonder if her DD is coming though? I will talk more to her when she gets home from her Moms.

Luv and I spent a fabulous day at the Jersey shore. The boardwalk is still so much fun! Luv got some really rockin cloths to wear on stage. I tried to get a tat but Luv wasn't having it. LOLOLOL Jk....

Otto still eating lite. Not feeling the best. I have not been walking him. It is just too hot still. Only if it's really cloudy or rains. He loves that.

Been playing on Petville a lot. I made a cute pet named Otto Jr. It is soooo funny! Nini made a Lil' Lu after Lucy. It's just adorable. Marta- your little Marmelade is the bomb too! I swear she is the cutest!

Went and saw movie 'Inception' with Leonard Di Caprio in it. Fantastic movie! We loved it and recommend it. It's about dreams stuff. very cool!

Ok...I wanted to keep this short- but you know me....
Peace!

Hey Noni! So good to see you pop ur head out of the books for a bit! I hope all is going well with the essay. (;

I had a great time with 7yr old. She is just too cute. Her hair got long and she had two braids that were so cute and she got her ears pierced! She definately had a growth spert!

We sat on the front porch eating ice pops and watching the triplet baby deers in the front yard. She said she never actually saw one in real life. How neat is that... then we tried to get closer and they took off. lol

We played 'Mother May I' barefoot in the yard. Kind of hard to do with only two people. Especially since she wanted to be the kind of Mother who didn't let you do anything...lolol

Her wrist cut was pretty bad. She got 5 stitches. She said it never really bled, which tells me it was probably deep. The scar alone was scary enuf for me... I am so glad I wasn't there when that happened. But she said she did not cry at all!

We also went through the big tub of old jewelry from Luvs Grandmother! She just LOVED rummaging through it all and found quite a few things to her likeing. LOL She even picked out a mood ring for her Mom. How cute was that!?

I am so glad it is friday. I swear I live for the weekends! And tuesdays- of course. haha

Otto threw up bile on our walk yesterday. He isn't eating much with this heat, but I am worried it might be something else. Has me a little concerned. He ate fine lastnight tho and no more since. Just so glad that didn't happen on my white carpets...it was soooo yellow. Ugh (sorry TMI)

Speaking of- he's bugging me right now for something to eat.
Peace

My dining room is a sea of blue from all the stuff for Henry's GFs baby shower. I am a little nervous how I am going to manage all these packages, plus all Moms (who always has to buy the biggest gifts!) and J's too.

I got them the video monitors. Nini has them and they work great. She loves them. Today I picked up a huge box of those cute denim diapers too, plus a bunch of other essentials.

It's getting close now. Em is getting very big! Nini says she looks ready to go right now!

I also am making a cheese platter with crackers and grapes. It's going to be an even longer ride if I have to hold that on my lap! Ugh...I just realized my Mom is making all kinds of food too!

Carrap! I seriously NEED a minivan! hahaha

Talked to my brother and he will watch Otto overnight. Actually going to be two overnights. (: Just enough time to thoroughly spoil the heck out of him.

My sister called and has a beautiful Waterford vase for me that she got from someone she works for. It is valued at 500.00! The lady just had no where to put it bc of the size of it. Can you believe that?? I can't wait to see it!

I have to run back to the store return something and get a few items for us tonight. I am watching 6yr old tonight. I am so excited to see her. She recently cut her wrist on a window pane and had to get stitches and I hear she can't wait to tell me all about it. How scary that must have been for her parents...

I am so tired. I hope I have enough energy to play with 6yr old! Wait a minute- I think she recently had a bday...she may be 7 by now!
Peace

Luv and I picked Mom up and took her to dinner. The whole time she was stressing that we were going to have them sing Happy Birthday to her. She just HATES all the attention. LOL Well- I did not plan for any of that, knowing how she dislikes it so much... but she did not believe us and went on through out the WHOLE meal about it.

When the cake came and no singing she still was suspicious. Luv and I were laughing so hard at her- Really, it was just going to be US! Well- with all the laughing while we were singing to her I accidentally blew the candle out. LOL We all just froze! We didn't know what the heck to do!

Mom looked stunned! Then she said 'You blew my lights out!' Luv immediately starts calling me the Grim Reeper... I felt aweful! Tried to get the guy over to relight it, but of course he is no where to be found. Ugh! We cut the cake and chuckled all the way through eating it. Moms face was hysterical though... she was a bit piturbed with me.

In the parking lot, Luv backs up without looking hardly and almost hit a car that was speeding through the lot to leave. I stopped him just in time! Mom said 'PLEASE be careful...I am not ready to go yet!'

So then we head into the highway and see the U-Turn is RIGHT THERE! on the left. Luv had to skim through 2 lanes of heavy traffic to make the turn, which he did soooo fast, that Mom was literally laying sideways in the front seat, white knuckles holding on for dear life, as he banked the turn.

I was like WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING!????? My Mom is like- banking the turn and she just turned 75 today!!!!! PLEASE! She didn't even get a chance to make her bday wish yet!!!!! Luv is just like SSSSSSSSSSSSSH! I know-I know...it was bad... LOL Just be quiet! LOL

We started laughing so hard- I almost lost my whole dinner. Mom was a little shocked she was still alive when she adds- 'and what was with what you wrote in my card? I don't get that... '

I wrote 'I like you better now that you've grown up a little.' It was suppose to be funny, bc Mom and I haven't always seen eye to eye. Especially when I was a teen... But nope- she still didn't get it. LOL Which only made me laugh harder.

All the while Luv is looking at me in the rear view mirror still stunned he had my Mom white knuckling in our car and a little shocked she hung on so well.

Not exactly the kind of impressions we wanted to make for her on her 75th bday. But did we ever laugh!

Oh and as we are pulling in we caught a glimpse of Otto and my brother pulling in from their jaunt at the park, in my brothers pick up truck. Otto was sitting up like a human in the seat, looking very tough. It was commical to see them two. Luv said OMG check these two out!!! I wish I could have video taped them. Too funny. Something you just had to see...

We all had a really good time. ;D
Peace

Noni- I would just LOVE to have you! and take you to all my fav haunts!!! I know we would have a blast.

As for Em's shower (Henrys GF) it is this Sunday! Can't believe it is here already. Idk...but these pregnancies seem to just come soooo fast.

And Lil bro is doing so well! I have been talking a lot to him on the phone and he is sounding so much better since he had a change in meds. (a reduction) And with him being so good, Mom is able to handle him. He likes to stay at Moms sometimes bc he sees more of his bros and my sister there.

It seems to depend if he is in a sociable mood or not, that dictates when he comes to my house. (and schedules of course...)

I just sent him the new Ozzy CD and Mom said he must like it bc nobody hears much from him when he is content. I am hoping he does come to my house next time though.

AND Margali! Wow- long time know see!!!

Lastnight I picked up a couple dozen cupcakes from the bakery to bring to Bingo for Moms Bday. I let her hand them out to all her new friends there. We learned something. If you want to make a new friend- just carry some cake around. LOL People are so nice there. I just love it.

Today it is pouring rain here. It's so nice out I just had to take Otto for one of our long walks in the downpour. Simply FABULOUS! We were drenched and loving every second of it. There is nothing like a warm summer day and rain! And thankfully no thunder!

Walking Otto just brought back floods of memories of when we were all kids. Mom always let us play in the rain. And our dog Poochie always came with us. Our friends next door would be called in the house, and watch us from the windows crying. I always felt so sad they weren't allowed to get wet. I couldn't figure why they weren't allowed to play. Mom would let us put our swim suits on and our rubber roots. My brothers would catch all the worms and chase us with them. The dog would be shaking all over us, and we'd be screaming and running. And the puddles! I just loved it- and STILL do!

We didn't have a lot of money but we sure knew how to have fun with nothing!

Well got to get ready to take Mom to dinner tonight. I want to pick up a little present and cake on the way. I can't wait to see her.

Have I mentioned I have THE BEST Mom in the world? Well...I do!
Peace

Friday was a busy day for me. J got here in the early evening. We had some rain that night so it was just lovely!

Luvs band played great! The guitarist with strep throat did Ok. I gave him Gator Aid and tons of water to help him through. He was breaking into sweats constantly. I don't know how he pulled through.

No- they do not have back up people to help out for gigs... so it's do and die! Luckily it was not a huge gig that Luv had a lot riding on.

The crowd was great and J and I danced a lot, which is always fun. Reminds me of when I was young and my two sisters and I would be in our room blaring the music dancing away the night. Love it!

The next day Luvs throat was feeling very scratchy though. He had concerns of getting something from sick guitarist and chose to lay low and cancell the shore gig. It was no biggy, that was an outside gig and it rain pretty hard ALL day!

J, Luv and I went for Chinese and then went to see Eclipse. Yup 2nd x for me! LOL After Luv and I stayed home and J went home. We had such a good time together. We always do.

Nini- well...she has a sore throat too (not strep thankfully!) but was too sick to come. She was getting worse by the minute every time I spoke to her. We are going to try and bring her home after Henrys GFs shower, so she can stay a few days. AND she got pink eye! Ugh... poor kid!

Yesterday it was so beautiful out! Luv and I got up early and I packed a nice lunch of fruits and salads, and loaded the car with stuff to go swimming at our beach! What a perfect day! There was just enuf puffy clouds to give you a few minutes reprieve from the blaring sun. Just a great day!!!

It ended a tad bit early though bc something happened with the bathrooms. So they closed the beach and will honor our tickets to come back another day for free! It costs us 10.00 on the weekend, 5.00 during the week. It was just about time we were leaving anyway.

We met two friends in the water too! A couple who use to go there as kids (like us) and now they are in their late 40's- early 50's. So it was nice. We did a lot of swimming. I just love the water and swimming with the little fish. It is so nurishing to the soul there!

Later we hung home with Otto and I made fish sticks (which I haven't had since I was a kid) with corn and sweet potatoe fries. Even Otto had the same dinner. He loved it! LOL

Today I have laundry galore to do.

Tomorrow Bingo! Mom and I can hardly wait! Have a little more shopping to do for Henry's Gf's baby shower next weekend too. Can't wait for that! It will be nice that they are having a boy!

Wednesday is Moms 75th Bday! I think we are taking her to Red Lobster. I really wanted to have a big party for her this year.... but you know- we love having a peaceful meal together too!

GTG Luv needs starting fluid for the machinery...I got to run it to him,
Peace

J is coming this weekend and I am not even near ready. I still have so much to do. This weather is really messing with my schedule.

Last night Luv and I took a great walk up our street to where the wolves live. They are just so beautiful! We saw 6 of them laying together. When we got near the fence they came to say hello. There is a grey one who is very friendly but that face really can mesmerize you. I am just fascinated with them.

We did not bring Otto with us- again, it was just too hot. He did not even want to go out. My Mom said maybe we should follow his lead. Animals know instinctively what is best.

I am still trying to figure out how I am managing getting Nini. It is going to be a little tricky. Luv won't be done singing till maybe 11pm that night. I think we should stay in a hotel for the night and get her the next day, but then what do I do with Otto. I can't leave him home alone that long....and if I take him to my brothers, then it will be a pita getting him back home too. Ugh! I need a (dare I say it!) minivan. Gasp- say it isn't so!

I am stressing a little of how I am going to handle all that.

And one of the band guys has strep throat! So Luv told him not to even come to the house to rehearse cuz Tini is coming here. So they had no last rehearsal (which they really needed with the new bassist) before tonights gig.

So Nini had a big fight with Bil. He is very nasty when he isn't drinking. Was yelling at Nini that she is just like her mother. (and not in a nice way) My heart nearly fell out of my chest. I really feel like he is trying to provoke my entire family. He knows Nini tells me everything. I am wondering if he needs to sever all ties with us. Idk what to think. I only know he is a mess and cutting himself off from the only lifelines he has.

Well- it's friday! I have a few things to finish up in the office so I can clear my desk. I also need to find something to wear tonight.

Praying for rain! Sweet rain!!!
Peace

Wow- what a weekend!

It is insanely hot here! Like too hot for even the beach. I ended up calling all my invites and declining. It felt so good that I knew- no way could it be a bad thing! I didn't feel guilty in the least bit!

Mom had no plans except for her kitchen to be gutted. I told her I would pick her up Saturday morn (which I did) and that we would just do whatever WE wanted!

We went to breakfast, did some shopping (she got Henry's babyshower gift) and just had a relaxing day. I got a newspaper to se if there was anything she would be interested in going to... Tada! We found a Greek Festival near my house!

J is half Greek. Her Mom full Greek. Her Mom and my Mom have been friends forever! So we all decided to meet at the festival and spend some time together there. We had so much fun, inspite of all the heat! The food was fantastic and so was the dancing and music. J and I got to do a little shopping there too. I got a great ring, wallet and handbag and J bought a bunch of stuff too, while our Moms watched a cooking demonstration. It was really nice and our Moms were so happy to see each other.

Luv was happy to hang home with Otto and work on his music. Otto- did not even want to go out much. He just doesn't 'DO' heat. So we didn't get to put his swimmy vest on...but that's ok.

Mom and I spent another day shopping a little and went for Chinese food and a movie. We saw the Eclipse movie. I liked the movie. Mom... kept leaning over saying 'I don't get this....' for half the movie. LOL The other half she was hacking up a popcorn kernel that got stuck. I was like...'OMG...!' LOL

When we left she could not navigate the stairs in the dark and tied up all kinds of traffic. LOL Luckily everyone found her as funny as I did and was very patient as she negotiated every step soooo slowly. She looked like a child all proud of herself when she made it to the bottom without falling! 'I did it!' LOLOL Again- 'Those lights on the steps....I don't get it.' I wanted to die laughing.

Later we hit a veggie stand that had a BBQ pit set up. The do BBQ ribs every weekend. So we bought a rack and brought it home to Luv and made ourselves a nice dinner with salad and baked beens. They were so good I went back and bought two more racks. One was for my brother who sits for Otto.

It was very relaxed and peaceful! We got to talk to Nini, which was quite upsetting..... Bil was drunk and even offering Henry and Ninis Bf drinks! When he heard Nini was talking to me on the phone he told her to hang up bc he didn't want me to know he was drunk! I can't believe he is trying to put pressure on these kids like this and now wants them to keep his dirty secrets. I feel he is corrupting them so they feel they can't tell on him....bc they are drinking illegally too... well the kids did not fall for it and declined his invitation to drinks. UNBELIEVABLE!

My hands are full.

AND- I heard Lucy bit Henrys GF.... not a good sign that they are dealing with her properly. I am very upset about that....

Nini called me and asked if I could pick her up. I have plans to get her this Sunday. She says she cannot wait to leave. I am nervous about it... Luv has a gig friday night and another one down the shore on Saturday. I am a little worried about what Bil will say when we show up to get her. I know he is a coward face to face.

I am going to go under the guise that it is my Moms 75th bday that week (the 14th) and we are bringing Nini and Tini to celebrate it. Bil is still NOT speaking to my Mom from their fight when we were ther for Tinis birth... they spoke only briefly when he went in for surgery, but he STILL owes my Mom an apology and my family WILL NOT let him skate by without it...alcoholic or not- he needs to man up!

OH! and I have J coming friday and staying till we leave for shore gig Saturday. I will have a full weekend for sure!

All in all- I had a fabulous weekend for 4th of July though. And no fireworks here! Just a few neighborly things going on. Otto ended up sleeping with Luv and was fine. Mom and I slept downstairs.

AND- Mom and I went to Bingo lastnight and we both won! Mom 150.00! Me 75.00! So we both got our money back! See! I knew we would ;D Mom feels vidicated about losing the 150.00 from two weeks ago. And I knew if I gave her my winnings it would come back to me. LOL So yeah- it was a nice ending to a nice weekend.

I have a lot of housework to catch up on and paperwork. This friday J will be coming early and it will be a very long day/night with his band playing out. So don't freak if I fall silent here...just a lot going on.

Next week- with any luck...I will have Nini and Tini! I can't wait! Then next weekend is Henrys Gfs baby shower! Wow- where does all the time go????

My thoughts are never too far from you all here though, I hope everyone is well and hope to catch up tonight!
Peace

I kind of feel like I got into a rut of sorts. I am feeling like retreating! LOL

Idk... I have a few invites for this weekend and when I have to sit down and talk to Luv about what he would like to do...I end up just wanting to stay home.

I shouldn't make it sound like that would be a sad thing... far from it! Luv and I know how to have a peaceful time.

Nini wants me to come down. And I just don't want to go. I don't know what's up with that... maybe their whole BAG of **** is just too much for me right now. Don't even get me started about the traffic at the Jersay shore area. It's Nuts!

J wants me to come to her house- again...I don't want to go. Too many kids and yelling- ugh...just too much everything.

I really just want to go swimming with Luv and sit on our little beach at the park. LOL Yes- and bring Otto (and his floaty vest bc he is a sinker Karolyn LOL) which he is allowed to go to! take a long hike in the woods... just ground myself, let the roots grow deep! haha

I am anti fireworks bc Otto hates them. LOL I'd like to take the boom right out of the 4th of July for all animals everywhere! Can we have a little peace please!? I kno...I have become a party pooper in that reguard, but shoot- someone has to stand up and say it! ;D

Mom and I had a lot of fun at Bingo. No wins, LOL, but we had a great time! I just love all the people I have met there! I love genuine, real people, and that is what I have met there.

Oh and Mom is having her kitchen and bathroom redone so she may need to come for a day when they shut the water off. Maybe Saturday we could do something together to get her out of there. I'll see, she may want to go see Aunt Liz- who BTW had an episode of freaking out with Mom when they went to a new Bingo and go lost on the way home. I'll spare u the drama, but Mom said she will 'NEVER go to any new place with her EVER again!' LOL

After Bingo I went to our bar and hung out for a few brewskies with Luvs bassist and rythym guitarist. We has fun laughing and just bs-ing.

Ok- got to get...
Peace

Excruciatingly hot here. Wish it would just storm and be over with already. We walked otto late lastnight and even in the dark he wanted to lay down in the grass half way. If it weren't so buggy out I might have considered...

Luv called his Mom to talk about what happened. She said he is like that all the time. Sil and Mil walk on eggshells constantly. Ugh- could you imagine... Luv apologized for leaving so abruptly, but it was the only way. She said it's been rough on Sil.

Noni- the inlaws have no intention moving out. They are getting older and Mil likes how she takes some of the heat off of her and Fil likes being waited on hand and foot. It's her parents and she doesn't feel she can boot them out. Me- uhhh I would change the locks when they went out and have all their stuff on the curb! lolol I'm bad...

So Luv called his Dad and bc he refuses to take Luvs call...left a message. Luv said he was sorry and to be careful in the heat (he was going to play golf) and his Dad texted back- 'Up yours!' Luv and I laughed at it- but really...how immature! I told Luv he just can't apologize to any of you. In his mind he is losing power by doing that. What can I say- his loss.

Mom and I had a great time at Bingo. We brought our two new 4 leaf clovers my sister keeps finding in her backyard. lol I really love all the people there. I think it is so cute how Tony (the old guy who sits behind me saves our seats. But Mom really had me ready to clunk her in the head. lol She buys these tickets to play these other games and well- she wasn't paying attention and actually had Bingo to win a 150.00 pot. I cannot even tell you how much she needs that money right now. As it is I am covering her so she can play... so she realizes but it was too late. Even the fireman who run things there wanted to help her out but there was noooo way. Mom looked sooo upset. Like she could cry.

I told her to brush it off! We are only here for fun. The money is a bonus but not the main objective...There would be plenty of money to win another day. She seemed like that wasn't going to do it for her- she just couldn't forgive herself. So next game I won 75.00 I told her see...we'll make it up! ;D I think if my sister keeps us supplied with 4 leaf clovers we should be fine. LOLOL At Moms house I gave her the winnings and she wanted to refuse it, but I insisted! I know she needs it. Plus I said- it's good for my Karma, let me have that! lol

Before Bingo we went to lunch at our fav spot. Of course the owner HAD to come over and actually sit himself down at our table to chit chat with Mom. LOL She was so flustered. LOL I could barely keep from laughing.

The two of them just a chit-chatting away...while the son and I looked on. Turns out the owner has a Pitbull named Diesel! He's a big one too! Very sweet though. So we all shared pics and stories. It was fun. And the Pasta Faggioli and Cheescake were divine!

The owner's son laughed at us eating soup on such a hot day. Said he only knows of his Dad to do that. LOL Who happened to be finishing up a bowl as we spoke. We told him we just love it! I swear I could live on this guys soup! And Mom is VERY fussy about soups. Sort of a soup snob haha...really likes the way he makes his soups and better yet- he tells her how and the ingredients! She loves that!

Oh and we shopped for Henrys GFs Baby shower. I got them the video monitors. Will pick up some other things along the way too. I can't believe how cute boys things have gotten! Finally! lol

Nini sent me the sweetest text saying how sorry she was for calling me a (allow me) *****. Said she has been thinking a lot about all that and really regrets acting that way. I told her I was sorry too and that it isn't nessessary to keep revisiting that. It's behind us. We are bigger than a few sour words.

I have a feeling she is really considering coming to stay with me a while. She went to the police station to see what her rights were regarding moving out... One consideration was for her to move in with Bfs family. I am very concerned about that! She doesn't get along with his Mom as it is now. I have my concerns.

Bil is threatening her that he still 'controls' everything. (what the heck is it with the control all the time???) Ugh...and Bil drank again. Yeah- I need to make a call but am not sure exactly how I need to proceed. It's a very delicate situation. My goal is to keep the family intact- but we have a lot of changes coming! Lucy BTW is doing very well!

I need to call the trainer today and discuss a few things with him.

OHHHHH and good possibilty J is coming tomorrow and staying over night. She has a ton of bs hitting her too- so not definate just yet. we r playing it by ear. I told her no stress from me! If it happens great! If not- we will plot for another day!

Ok- I have boat loads of paperwork to address today.
Peace

Last night Luvs brother called to say he had his phone for him. Also that he got stuck there for hours listening to Fil witch out. I don't think it was expectations not being met Noni...it's more he is just a stubborn old man.

He really went off on Mil...Luv just caught the cross fire from telling him he was out of order. Inlaws relationship is tense- on a good day.

The thing that set Fil off was he has made a deal to sell a lot that the boys are not happy with...and he is embarrassed. His lashing out was a direct result of him not liking feeling that way.

I know Mil was glad Luv spoke up in her defense. He seems to be the only one who does to Fil. (uhh besides me- I am always brutally honest with him) Everyone else cowers. Sil is just miserable! Fil continues to monitor every morsel she puts in her mouth...which BTW is NOT helping her. She looks worse than ever!

It's all stress.

As for Lucy's home coming... Yeah- Bil was definately drinking. Nini said she had to ask him to get a piece of gum. Bil cannot hide his drinking at all. It is immediate- the effects it has on him and very detectable by us who know.

You have to have lived with an alcoholic to understand. There are very subtle clues that immediate family can detect that no one else would or could.

Nini confronted him head on. I was shocked how mature she sounded and her choice of words. She He admitted he hadn't drank in 14 days and was so proud of himself. He just copuldn't help it, he NEEDED that drink.

He went on to explain that he feels he let the kids down by not being a good Dad. How he is there to buy them things and give them all they want, but is not there for them emotionally or to guide them correctly.

He blames himself for 'killing' their Mom.

He admits he needs to enter rehab- but claimed his job is a serious concern. (I don't doubt that) Nini told him, think of it as a much needed vacation- you always have time for that. Plus- his health is way more important than any job he has going on. There is plenty of staff to cover him.

She reminded him that I am available to help him and offer it constantly. Nini said she would be willing to stay with me till he gets back home so he can concentrate on himself.

I know the conversations are helping him get his brain around it all. This is not his first time getting sober. He drank heavily way before he met my sister and was clean and sober way before and during their whole marriage. And that marriage had it's strains...

I think him seeing how well behaved Lucy was and also seeing the hard work it took to get her that way may have shaken him up a little.

Lucy is not the same dog. It kind of shocked them all to see her different. But it's her- only better! She is a pleasure to be around now. No more yelling and screaming at her. I think they know it hasn't been easy on Lucy and see their part in it all.

It's a beautiful thing to be able to see yourself with open eyes. You may not like what you initially see, but then you know where you need to go to get to where you can. The work can begin.

Nobody said any of it would be easy. LOL

So Nini also tells me she is having a difficult time with formulas for the baby and she really regrets stopping breast feeding. Tini is sick and throwing up a lot- even with her medicine. They keep changing things... not an easy time of it. But she will figure all that out. Her Bf is a tremendous help and very good with the baby. I am quite impressed with him. Our nickname for him is ' Momma Dukes' LOLOL

I am eager to speak with the dog trainer to see what his feelings are. Nini said he is coming back in a week or two to follow up with them. I don't think they realize how much he has taken a personal commitment here as a favor to me. It's quite a trip for him to be going there...

I have no idea how things will pan out with the inlaws today. Truth be told- Luv and I are really done anyway. It's just all too rediculous. However it IS his family and some sort of resolution is needed. If nothing else-for Luv's peace of mind. Me- I really have lost all cares. Something I am not quite sure how to think about... I'm sad about feeling like this bc it's not in my makeup to just raise a white flag. I like to think every relationship is worth fighting for. But with them- I'm not so sure anymore.

Well- I am going to put on my big girl panties and start my day!
Peace

Wow Marta! Thats exactly how Bil sounded with my Mom...he went bonkers- over absolutely nothing! I had no idea... I am so glad he is doing something abouit it now...but he still has issues he needs to deal with!

I am so glad ur Mom has corrected hers and isn't like that anymore. It really does leave lasting scars when someone treats someone that way. I am hoping my Mom can put the whole mess out of her head.

Got up early and made Luv buckwheat pancakes for breakfast. Then I spent most of my morning doing laundry and things around the house. Mil called to tell us to come around 2:30p bc Fil was playing golf and wouldn't be home till then.

Well today we had a little drama at the inlaws. ( I know...big surprise there, right?)

We had an inkling when we arrived and Mil and Sil were sitting outside playing cards and barely smiled or said hello to us. Of course you ask what's wrong and they say nothing. Luv was suspicious Fil was giving someone grief. We figured might be Sil since she was the moodiest.

Sil did a nice spread (she always does) and we had a mild day watching golf (well...not me, I'd rather watch grass grow) Fil nodded off a few time, like usual. Luv eventually joined him. Mil and Sil actually invited me to take a walk with them. I had on wedge heels but did the walk anyway since my shoes were comfy ones. It was awkward as usual. They just can't handle a third party. lol Whatever.

When we got back, Mil gave Bil a few plans for a job they are doing- well then Fil wants to see them and get all involved. One thing led to another and the next thing you know he is snapping at Mil.

I think that really set Luv off bc he doesn't treat me that way and he certainly doesn't like seeing his Mom treated that way. But he sat there biting his tongue...

Till Fil turned on all of us, saying we were asking all these questions.... blah, blah, blah.... well nobody had said a word so we all just looked dumbfounded at each other.

That is- till Luv spoke up and said - nobody questioned you about anything! You don't have to talk to us like that. You are being a bully!

Fil didn't care for that and walked towards Luv and said - thanks a lot! Thanks for the Fathers Day.... and stormed off. Leaving us all looking at each other like - What just happened here....

Luv started for the door for us to leave, and we did. Of course half way home he realizes he left his phone there. PITA! Bil is getting it for him and going to be calling us soon.

All while this is going on Nini texts me that Lucy was home and the trainer was there! She was so happy. But then she sent another one saying she thought her Dad was drinking. I just text her to call me when the trainer leaves and she can talk.

She sent me the cutest video earlier of Tini in the dress Luv picked out for her. She was just adorable and then she lets out this big sneeze. It was so cute! She is such a dolly! I have to get some pics up. I have to get Luv to help me with all that bc I seem to have a mental block when he shows me this stuff. What IS my problem??? Really!

Oh and I did not get to see my brother bc my other brother had to get him back early. I was able to talk with him on the phone though. He sounded much calmer this time and more in control. My Mom swears it's the medicine. We never know what he will be like. This time he was no problem at all. Thankful for that bc Mom is not getting any younger.

Mom and I are already planning our next Bingo! I swear I live for tuesday night. Is that weird or what?? LOL

I have been thinking of each and every one of you girls today. I really appreciate each and every one of you. I feel so blessed to be able to dump things here that I otherwise have no where to go with.

Love you all!
Peace

Karolyn- I knew sugar effected ur moods but had no idea to what extent. Bil has been having a time with it! ( and yes Noni- I am sure not drinking has put him into another shock)
I think Bils disappointment with the kids is mostly they are irresponsible. Bil just gives too easily. He missed great opportunities to teach them valuable lessons. Now he sees the kids can't manage on their own...

Luv and I still don't feel quite right, so I am not surprised to hear food poisoning stays in ur system! We can feel it!


Henrys Gf is having a boy! So yes- we have another BIG shower to attend. Only diff is HER sisters and Mom are throwing it. We are bringing some foods... and J is making some party favors. It should be nice!

Noni- The trainer is going down tomorrow to go over everything with them all. He has to show them how he trained her and what she knows. I think they will be pleasantly surprised.

as for the band- Luv had no idea the three guys left due to 6 yr olds dad... it sort of came out by accident. First by one of the guys who CAN replace him. This kid is 10x the guitar player that 6yr olds dad is...so Luv was very upset to hear that! He would have booted 6yr old dad long ago! The other two who left were bass players.

Luv is just thinking how he wants to proceed. It's a little complicated right now.


SOOO- while running our errands yesterday, Luv and I stumbled upon an old manmade lake that is just beautiful! It had walking paths, camping, picknic areas AND a beach! It's only 20 mins from the house and dogs are allowed!

So we can take Otto swimming as long as we keep a leash on him. I am sooo happy! It only costs 5.00 on weekdays and 10.00 on the weekends.

We went today but did not bring Otto this first time to test it out. There was only a few people there during the week, but quite a few today. We packed up a cooler with drinks and sandwhiches, with some grapes and snacks. They only sold Itallian Ices there. We got the mango and it was fantastic!

They have a bunch of life guards on but they do this thing where they make everyone get out of the water for 10 minutes while they have parents collect their kids and do a head count. They also announce that children need to be supervised in the water by their parents and not rely on life guards to watch their kids.

I was so glad they made that announcement bc we overheard a Dad tell his wife- don't worry about her...thats the lifeguards job! Luv and I were so upset to hear that someone would trust letting their 3 year old near the water and expect accidents don't happen even with a lifeguard on duty. So we could barely shut our eyes from being compelled to watch this kid.

And naturally we plopped our blanket down right in the pathway of a bunch of kids making b-lines to the water to get buckets of water for sand castles. Luv said every time they passed the coated him in sand. LOL It was funny. And when we came out of the water we saw little sandy footprints across our blanket! lol

It was so beautiful there. The mountains and trees, the water and sand. We just love it! And now we know what we need when we go.

I think we might try camping there this summer. I really want to do that! 'cept we can't bring Otto camping. Shucks! No dogs allowed for that. We were surprised we can bring him swimming but not camping! wth...

So it's my new hot spot! I want to bring my Mom and little brother there! And J! And Nini and Tini! It's just gorgeous!
Maybe do a bbq there some day!

Speaking of little brother...he is with Mom this weekend. He called to tell me there is a new Ozzy CD out that he really, really wants. Hint-hint. I am hoping to get to see him tomorrow. I like to visit my Mom on Fathers Day- since she did both jobs for many years now. I think it only fitting she shud get a present for it! haha

Mil called and asked us what we would like to do...go out to eat or dine in at Sils?? Luv teased neither! Just wanna stay home! hahah Not sure what they decided, and don't really care. Just as long as we keep it short and sweet it's fine by me!

I am so tired from swimming! Going to try and catch a nap before I take Otto for his walkie.
Peace

I am wiped out. And Otto is waiting for his walk- ever so exuberantly...lol

Things have settled just a bit.

I had a long conversation with Bil. He is so disappointed with the kids right now. And I can't really blame him, but then again I want to... He thanked me again for helping Nini and also not just taking the easy route with her. He said it's been a long time since she had a 'Mom' caring what she does and how she does it. At 16- she still needs guidance.

I recognize her need to do things herself. Make her own mistakes. But she hasn't heald back asking for help still. She knows I got her back and am always there for her.

Henrys GF is doing ok. Her shower is coming up so we are in the throws of all that now. I will be glad when it's all done. I need time to replenish the empty space in my pockets! lol

Bil was released from the hospital with a bunch of prescriptions. He has Diabetes- and bad! He is injecting insulin like 5 times a day. Says he wishes it was his heart...then he would be feeling better and on the mend by now. This sugar stuff is leaving him feeling aweful. I am very concerned.

He also opened up about a lot of things to me. I sense he needs to know he has a back up plan. Makes me notice how fragile things are...

Good news! Tini only needs the monitor for sleeping now. She is doing better! Keep up the prayers please!

And Lucy is finally going home Sunday! I got a chance to see her. She was so happy to see me. AND OTTO! Omg...they were so cute! Lucy has done very well at skewl! I am so impressed with how well the trainer did with her. And she is so cute doing good things instead of just being cute and naughty!

OH- Luv had a HUGE fight with 6yr olds Dad! I was at Bingo (we didn't win) that night. The drummer said he actually had to get in between Luv and him! Luv said it has been a very long time since someone has gotten him THAT mad.

They have since kissed and made up. I think Luv really feels he isn't the right person in the band though and is considering replacing him. It has been brought to his attention that 3 band mates left primarily due to him and would consider returning if he were to leave for good.

Still no results from the hospital yet regarding Luvs samples! Good thing he isn't still having bad bouts! I however threw up today... I had an apple and it just came right back up. No clue what that was all about.

Karolyn- I had to laugh Cinderella thinks Jersey is vile! Maybe she was watching Snookie on Tv LOLOL It is a crazy state. I will give her that. LOL But we Jersey girls know no shame! LOLOL

Noni- you are certainly in my heart and prayers.

We are going to take Otto for a walk and then we are going to possibly get bite to eat and chk out a club Luv will be playing soon. We invited one of the gutarists and his wife. They are a lot of fun to hang out with! And I so need to just hang out.

More later...
PEACE (maybe if I cap it- it will come)

OMG- I just realized!!!!

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday Dear Marta!!!!!
Happy Brithday to you

And many wishes for many more for you and I do hope you had an absolutely lovely day!

So sorry I missed it! Please forgive me!

Lots of Love and Hugs to you sweetie! MUAH!

Spent lots of time on the phone with Nini. She sent me the cutest pics and videos of Tini. What a doll!

So- Bil had his proceedure and he did NOT need angioplasty or stents. Everything was clear! I can't tell you how relieved we all are! And the kids are doing pretty well too.

I will know more when I call them later.

Luv was even feeling better today. He went to have his hair done. Started texting me half way through saying he was really tired, but at least the diarreah has stopped somewhat.

I got my eyebrows done and bought a great pair of jean and a brown leather belt with some bling on it. And two flowers for my hair. I'm usually not so productive at the mall... so it was a shock to find a few things I really liked.

I should mention our mall was dead too! I don't know how the stores are dealing.

The salon that does my eyebrows is usually standing room only for waxing and nails. There was one person getting her nails done and one person working. She told me I had to come back in 45 mins to get my eyebrows done that takes all of 5 minutes to do. Lucky I had time to burn.

Came home and took Otto for a walk. It's hot here but it was overcast enuf to make it tolerable. Otto walked slow. lol I wasn't about to push him. I figure he knows whats best. He wasn't even interested in saying hello to any of the dogs we past. He got home, ate and ran straight up to lay on our bed in the A/C with the ceiling fan blowing on him. LOL

Oh- guess what happen to Nini today... she got a call from Bils mom (her grandmother) and she said to her 'Hello Tiffany- it's Jane.' Nini said 'Who??' She said 'Jane! Your Grandmother. uhh I mean Nanny...' Nini said she felt like she was being like that on purpose. Who knows. I just laughed about it and said 'Wow- next time you see her say hello Nanny Jane.'

The woman is useless to the kids. It is such a shame!

Anyway- she was calling cuz she heard from someone who heard in church that Bil was having surgery...and he never told her.

Is that family strange or what??? I never heard of such things! My mom felt aweful about how distant they all are...me too. I mean- she lives 15 minutes from the kids and NEVER sees them! That is insane to my family- when they have no Mom...

I guess it takes all kinds.

Ok- well I am off for now. I have to call dog trainer and I have to ready some things for tomorrow. I am going to be leaving early for BINGO!

Mom and I are going and I can't wait!
Peace
BTW- where is Karolyn??? Do I need to send the dogs out!? Hope you are Ok girl. Miss you!!!

Thank you! You all know how much I value all ur input. I am taking it all in! And Jop! Wow girl- so good to hear from you again....

First- I could totally kill Luv for making me bring the blasted samples to the Drs office. He was so pathetic begging me to do it. I warned him this was going to cost him big! Like jewelry big! lol

It was early yesterday morning and the nurses just shuffled me through to the nurse who had to take them. Nobody was touching them. lol The nurse who had to even gave me a beady eyed look over her glasses while saying ' Let me see what you have here.' In a tone that made me almost not feel so bad after all... Hey! don't kill the messenger! lol

Thank God that is off to the labs!

Bil called me yesterday and we discussed how we were handling things. He had heard how sick Luv was and actually made arrangements for his Pastors wife (been friends of family for very long time) to chk in on kids and some others. Nini's Bf will be there during the day with Henry's Gf and Henry will be spending the nights there in his old room. Bil said 'You are a phone call away...and they know to call you if they have any questions.'

Somehow none of that really makes me feel any better. I just feel I am too far. Noni- you might be onto something. But shoot-

So- tonight Bil chks into the hospital and they will do his precedure first thing in the morning. He will call me as soon as he can. Or he'll have the kids call me. He is expecting to be home by tue/wed.

Am I nervous- heck yeah. I am meditating Noni...and praying my heart out. I do get a sense that things are going to be just fine. But then I get that feeling no matter what the outcomes are. I am a survivor.

Lucy is staying with the dog trainer till Bil gets home and he is ready to have her back. The trainer loves having her and I am so appreciative. This guy has proven to be a true good friend.

So today I am staying in. It's incredibly hot out and we have storms moving through. I have plenty to catch up on here with laundry and housework. Hopefully it will be clear enuf to walk Otto later.

Been taking Otto for walks late in the days when it's cooler but he always has to dip himself in the Delaware. My little frog... so cute how he dips down to touch his belly in the water. lol It is so peaceful. My body, mind and soul just crave it and even Otto seems so right when we hit that path. Oh it's definately some kind of therapy!

Naturally we missed the wedding yesterday. That was a disappointment that couldn't be avoided though. Luv really should not be around people yet. And I think the same of myself for being around him. It's too contagious- if he has what we think he might have.

Oh and my sister went to see Bils yesterday with her husband, grandaughter and foods. They hung out all day and had a good time. She finally got to see Tini. The baby has an eye thingy going on. My sister told Nini she shud call the Drs about it. I know wed she meets with the Apnea Center with her. Maybe she could get an appt for that day. I will keep in touch with Nini about that.

Speaking of Nini- going to ring her up now.
Peace

Luv is still sick. Took him to Drs first thing this morning. He had me up in the middle of the night again with diareah and now he has added acid reflux to it. I am suspect it could be C-diff again. Not a good thing...I would kill for one full night of sleep. Who am I kidding- I probably wouldn't know what to do with all the energy from a good nights rest.

So Dr sent him home with two sample cups. We are dreading that whole deal. Ugh...I hope I don't have to be the one to bring them in. And you know he is going to make me do that! LOL

Seriously though- it has me very worried.

Bil is at Drs now. I am waiting for him to call and let me know what is going on with him. Luv is not happy about me leaving again. I am not happy. But I feel I need to be there. I can't leave the kids alone to deal with this on their own plus a baby on a monitor. It's just too much.

Mom wants me to call her as soon as I hear anything. I wish she would consider coming with me. But not sure that would be fair to her. Lots going on right now...her kitchen and bath are being redone and she is catching up on jobs she fell behind on from her last trip down there.

Nini and I spoke for a very long time lastnight. She says she can't seem to tolerate her Bfs Mom anymore. Says she is seeing her with open eyes now and not liking what she is seeing at all. I warned her, she is her daughters grandmother, like it or not. I reminded her of a little saying my old Aunt always says- 'You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family.' Well- she is now her daughters family. Nini will need to find a way to deal with that, that won't make her life a living hell.

Since Nini is not recieving much help, she has found breast feeding and keeping up with pumping daunting. She has started the baby on partial formula feedings. In one breath she says the Drs say it won't effect the babys digestion but in the next she says she is having some issues. I am sensing Nini is just too distracted by Bf to be able to concetrate on the baby at all.

I know finals are coming up soon too. Her teachers voiced confidense to Bil that she will pass, she is doing very well...but my Mom and I are concerned they are just pushing her through. Mom suspects they feel she probably won't make it back next year at all- so they are just 'giving' her this year. From what i have seen- I have my sispicions too.

I have a lot of concerns regarding her right now.

There certainly is a lot going on. And Luv- just wants me all to himself right now. He is feeling cheated and neglected. He wonders why everything seems to fall into my lap. Why isn't my sister concerned or helping?? I have to admit- I really miss the days when our biggest decision was Chinese or Italian and which movie to see. I really need and crave a few of those days right about now. Oh and Bingo- definately some brainless games of Bingo! LOL

Ok- well lots to get done here...
Peace

I can't even tell you both how supported you make me feel. I mean it. It's been a really hard time for me lately... I can't tell you how much your words are like the lights at the end of a tunnel. (a long, dark, deep tunnel)

Marta- I almost can't stand to see how kids are today. I mean...I have always thought myself as open minded and more accepting of things, but maybe I am not. I don't get their sense of entitlement. It puts me off. I wonder how I would have ever survived parenthood.... I'm thinking I didn't have children for a good reason.

Noni- I will seek out that book and information on ACOA. My Mom always was encouraging us kids to learn more about that with my own father being an alcoholic. I bet it would help me tremendously. May be something I could share with Nini. Thanks again for the nudge!

I have went MIA again bc Luv and I got food poisoning. Yup. Let me tell you- if you never had...you never want to know what that is. Ever.

We were knocking on deaths door for a good 24 hours. Then we went completely weak for the next 24 hours. Today we finally peeled ourselves out of our beds (yup- been in separate rooms) and showered and changed sheets. I am feeling better. Still eating only bites of blandness here and there. Luv- still not doing good. Going to take him to Drs tomorrow. I am worried.

We both lost 6-7 lbs. That's right. We look gray.

We had to take up separate rooms and bathrooms bc it was just too aweful. I could not bear any lights and sounds, Luv couldn't bear any touch or movements. It was horrid! So much for our happy reunion.

Otto stayed in his crib. He didn't even come out unless told to go out and to be fed. Which Luv and I did through true torture. Made me feel scared if Otto knew we were worse than we even thought...

We are survivors though. At least so far! And Nini did call me to se how we were. So we are talking again. Not much tho...today is my first real day back to being able to sit up and function.

I called the dog trainer. He was to bring Lucy over days ago but I wasn't even able to call him back. When I called him today he said she has been a treat to have and his family really enjoy having her. Even asked if we really wanted her back! Gasp- uh...YES!

Plans were made he was to go to Bils with her and go over what he taught her, and what they need to do to keep her that way, this Sunday.

Then I got a call from Nini. Her Dad had some health tests done that he was explaining to me he had been putting off for a very long time now (and why he couldn't go into detox yet). Like sugar tests (he has problems) apnea testing (he doesn't sleep anymore) and stress testing. Well that last one is the one rearing it's ugly head right now...

Nini called to tell me Bil was told to go in TONIGHT for angioplasty and a few stents. He was so upset, he asked to please be allowed to go to a hospital closer to his home. They agreed to let him meet with a heart specialist tomorrow morning and schedule things then. But they want it done- like yesterday.

I called and was able to speak to Bil and asked what can I do... what does he need... His response 'Whatever you can offer- I will accept.' I will call Nini tonight to make a few plans. I need to get some things done here in the morning and pack stuff again. Maybe I will have a few days to organize. Maybe not. I will know more tomorrow.

Mom is so worried. This is the last thing we need right now.

Nini is suppose to go on a dinner cruise with her BF Saturday night. (that has me disappointed she is even courting the idea of any date with him after what he did to her) My sister is scheduled to visit Nini and Tini saturday with her granddaughter. Sunday the trainer is to bring Lucy home. Everything up in the air right now.

I can't help but wonder why this whirlwind of events is swirling about me...never letting me out. Am I attracting this somehow?? Or am I just the convenient 'go to' person right now?? My sister had this song she joked about how she wanted me to play it at her funeral 'and play it LOUD!' she said. LOL We laughed so hard about that...well- I keep hearing it. I heard it on a commercial on some weird station in the middle of the night, I hear it on the radio switching channels... It's a really old song. Something you don't hear anymore. I can't help but think it's her laughing somewhere... or telling me to laugh it all off....I don't get it. Maybe just a thing she knows i would recognize as her being with me right now.

Can I just say- all i wanted to do was go to Bingo and have a no brainer night. Just one night. One break. I think it's gonna be a long, long time...
Peace

Noni...so good to hear from you! I missed you more than you could know... I found my neices assesment on her Bfs family to be completely off. I can't tell you how much that disappointed me. I truly was praying they would be a great support to her and the baby. Well- they really are incapable.

The Bfs mother gets high with her son..... and drinks. I spoke with Bfs Dad and he filled me in on a few things. For one- Bfs Mother is NOT a nurse. She is a home health aid with very little actual training. That little fib got me suspicous.

Nobody from Bfs family (him included) even asked Nini how she was feeling after she got home from the hospital. Nothing- no calls at all! I was a bit shocked. Bfs Mother didn't even go to the hospital to see the baby the 10 days she was there. That was odd since the hospital was literally around the corner from where they lived...

Later I found out from a drunken call from her that she made to my neice (but I answered) that her only real concern is her son going to jail for getting Nini pregnant. That was incredibly disappointing to face that reality- and even worse for me to have to inform nini about it.

It's a complicated mess.

My Mom spoke to Nini last night and she voiced a concern that she will never be able to speak with me again and that she feels things cud never be the same between us. My Mom thinks she feels how she treated me was unforgivavble. Of course my Mom told her I would speak to her again and things will be alright. It really wasn't that big of a deal...

This is what happened between her and I-

She got up very early with the baby, around 5 ish, and fed and changed her. Then she put the baby in the bassinet while she took her shower and readied herself for the day. The baby fell back to sleep. I woke while she was getting herself ready.

Nini told me her Bf was on his way over to see the baby. I questioned why so early, and since the baby was sleeping shudn't he wait a little later... Well- they also had plans to take the baby in the stroller for a walk to the post office which was about 10 blocks away (it's a good long walk) to mail their Thank Yous from the Baby Shower.

It was extremely hot and humid that day and Tini had recently had quite a few episodes with the monitor for low heart beat (something she wasn't having an issue with so it raised a concern) I was upset that Nini wud risk taking her so far from the house and on such a hot day... I told her I didn't think she shud go. She bucked back- she was insistant. Turned out she really wanted to talk with her Bf about his recent indiscretions.... (more on that later) So- I told her No...you need to call your Dad if that is what you want to do and get his permission cuz I wasn't taking responsibility if something shud happen. She said I was being a ***** and started crying. I sensed cuz she knew he wud not agree either, and she wasn't getting her own way. I asked her why she was snapping at me?? She said I didn't understand her situation. I asked her- then help me to understand...I will listen till I do. She went more hysterical...like as if trying to make me understand wud be too frustrating. Maybe she had no case.

When she called Bil, crying and carrying on, he told her No- that was too far! And too dangerous. It was scorching hot out... etc... He'd be home soon. She hung up and proceeded to go out with the baby. I did not say another word to her. I was upset- but you kno...it is HER baby. I assumed her dad told her she cud go. So- off they went and did not come back for 2 and a half hours. I was very concerned! Tried to call Bil- he never answered. Later I found out he had tried calling her and she never took his calls either. He had his suspicions she wud go anyway.

So- I saw a side of Nini I was not entirely aware of. I am not surprised...I mean- these kids have been on a long leash anyway with Bil....so- She finally came back and was NOT speaking to me. I did not say a word. Her Father came home very shortly after that. Nini avoided me at all costs. It was very uncomfortable. I felt it best to leave.

Luv was already on his way and got there within a half hour of all that. My Bil and I spoke. He was very upset to find out she left with the baby and for that long in that heat. Not to mention- she never ansered his calls to her. Bil was in agreeance with me and glad I at least tried to tell her not to go. She is too young and has no experience with babies at all... she just doesn't know the risks she was taking.

Bil was so appreciative of all my help. He really felt aweful that Nini acted like that, but told me this is what he deals with constantly with her. She wants her own way-period. And if anyone contradicts that, she gets nasty. Wow- I thought...even with me??? No- sorry...I'm not about to be treated that way by anyone. I left.

We had just spent over three fantastic weeks together. It was harsh that day... something I never cud have predicted. I have to wonder if I even know her at all. As for her hormones...Yes! I think it cud have had something to do with it. I hope so... I hate to think she is just like that. Otherwise though, her spirits had been exceptionally good, so who knows. It is a difficult time for her no matter how you slice it and no matter how much help she had.

I am sure I will be calling her. I just feel we need a little space right now. I am still hurt that she took that position with me. Especially since I told her- my only concerns the whole time I was there were her and her baby and helping her feel confident enuf for me to be able to leave. It's hard to have left and not be 100% sure she felt that way.

Truth is- I am still only a phone call away from being there for her... I hope she knows that.
Peace

Ok here goes...

First- I am so sorry I was not able to keep up with my journal... That really pained me!

As you all know- Tini is here!

I will start from the beginning... I got there Tues afternoon and was able to go to the Drs with Nini the next day. He decided he wud enduce Nini on that Friday. It was nice having the time to go home and prepare everything and finish packing Ninis things.

It was decided that her Bf and I would be her coaches through the delivery. Her Dad had a coach wrist band and cud be brought in at any time needed.

They put some stuff on her cervix to help get things started. Well- her contractions started immediately but were tolerable. Bf was staying the night with her and to call when things got close. The Drs felt it cud be a long time.

I slept 1 hr before the text messages started coming. Nini was stressing a little. Bf took NyQuill so he cud sleep (Uhhh what was he even there for then....) and Nini was mad about it. She was having contractions every five minutes. After texting and talking so much to her I decided I might as well get there and be by her side. I got there 3 am. She looked so relieved to see me.

By morning she was 8 centimeters and they were readying the room, still saying it cud be a few hours since it was her first baby and she was so young. But they were NOT going to enduce her. Things were moving along just fine on their own. They did the epidoral.

By 9am she was told to start pushing. Tini was born at 9:20 am. 8lbs 3oz 21 1/4 long. She is beautiful! Has a little light brown hair. Nini was fantastic. I think she only pushed like 7 times, never even broke a sweat... We were all shocked how fast it all went!

Nini was cute half way though. She told the Dr she had enuf and cud she please just take her out now... we all laughed. The Dr was fantastic! It was the woman Dr that Nini had hoped wud not be there for delivery, but turned out to be absolutely perfect for Nini. She was so sweet and soft spoken and joyous. I have never seen such a calm, relaxed delivery room.

Nini said one swear word which she immediately stopped and apologised to everyone for... it was so funny.

My neice is breast feeding and all was/is going extremely well with that. She was able to keep the baby in her room as much as she wanted. Luckily she sent her back to the nursery Saturday night so they cud ready her for release the following morning. It was there that she was observed that she had an apnea episode (stopped breathing). Though it was mild and she brought herself out of it unassisted- it is taken VERY serious! So Nini was sent home and Tini stayed an additional 10 days for further testing. They had to wait for certain machines and other factors to do the tests, that's why she was there so long.

She had a few more episodes but nothing serious. However she was sent home on a monitor. Personally- I think all babies shud be. We all had to learn CPR and how to operate the equiptment. Nobody came from her Bfs family.

Those 10 days we spent getting up every two hours pumping bottles for the baby, and running them to the hospital to feed her. Nini was able to breast feed again after a few days. All is going very well with that. But that running was absolutely exhausting. Nini needed so much help from the pain of her stitches and she was just exhausted. I was so proud of her though! She really barely complained.

With the baby home- there was so much to do. I helped but tried to let her do as much as she cud so she wud not be in shock when i left her. I had planned on staying 2 weeks. Well...with the baby staying 10 days in the hospital- that plan went out the window. Luv made do on his own and we conducted business via fax and phones. It was nuts.

All I can say is Thank God we did not have Lucy to deal with the whole time! Which, btw, she is still at skewl! LOL The trainer loves her and is taking very good care of her~ and at no extra charge! He is seriously too kind!

Tini went to her first dr appt and they said she was looking very healthy and gained quite a bit. She doesn't fit in any newborn things...what a waste! She has some really adorable things to wear...lol Oh well- better to have her big and healthy!

Nini looks fabulous already and is feeling very good!

The Bf- well....he is very good with the baby. As for how he is with my neice- no comment. I want to kill him. I had all to do to keep my mouth shut. And still do...

Bil did so-so. He has been trying very hard not to drink. After a few days he snapped at Grammy though- and it wasnt nice at all! I took my Mom home the following morning cus I was not going to have her be treated that way. I know it was his nerves from not drinking, but that is not an excuse for him. My Mom is very hurt. My brother wants to tell Bil off. It's going to be a while before that bridge is mended. I had no choice but to remain cordial with Bil- for Ninis sake. She was still begging me to stay, saying she cudnt handle it alone yet.

I had words with Nini the day I left. It was not a good parting of the ways...but I had to say what i had to say- and her being 16- had to act like someone of her age. (I am hoping some of that was hormonal too...but who knows) It wasn't viscous- but it was painful for me. I ended up feeling she just doesn't appreciate everyone who was there for her. I really was surprised by her selfishness. But- when you see Bil...you almost can't hold it against her.

As for her Bfs family...ugh- VERY DISAPPOINTING! I will get into more of all that later. For now- everyone is thriving. And I can't thank God enuf for that.

AND! thank you all for all the prayers and well wishes. I am truly sorry I didn't post earlier...Neices computer was a bit of a tricky thing for me. If I cud have hopped on and off without her help I might have tried more...but I was really on overload.

Tonight I hope to catch up on you all! I pray eveyone is doing well!
Peace

Noni I am taking it all in! Thank you so much for your inputs. I value them tremendously!

I am going to try and do a quick update-

Nini's Dr wants to see her Wednesday. He will then decide when he will start things. He told her Wed, thurs, friday- is the plan. So I am heading down tonight. She wants me at that Drs appt with her to ask questions she keeps forgetting.... (well- she is still a teen...)

Bf is hell bent on video taping the whole birth. Nini is not comfortable with this. Her Dad is not either. I cautioned her, with her being a minor- I wasn't all up for it either. She asked if I could run interference with Bf and his Mom who are kind of pushing Nini on this a little....Mind you- the Mom didn't video tape her birth of her DD a few years ago...

I warned Nini I will be more than happy to be her personal body guard- and NOBODY is going to do a single thing she doesn't want done. This is her time and her priority is to be at peace, and have her baby in a warm, loving environment.

So if I have to, I will do whatever it takes to see to it that is just how it goes. She knows I don't have a problem saying what I have to say- to anyone. I will be kind- but firm.

Bf is taking on an air of over confidense. I'm sensing to compensate his fears.It's not boding well with Bil at all. I think Bf is bordering on being disrespectful to Bil. I won't tolerate it.

Bil has his personal problems, but that doesn't mean they can disrespect him. In the end- we need a family intact! Everyone is important. I intend to maintain that.

I sense Bil is concerned he will be shut out. That is the last thing I want to see happen to him. He had a discussion with Nini about the name and came around with her about wanting to use both names with a hyphen. He isn't unreasonable, just a little controlling. And beings this is his 16yr old DD- I can't say I blame him too much. I am feeling extremely over protective right now myself. :/

So I am heading out tonight. Have no idea when I will be back. Bil has a room set up for us with internet and Tv so we will be comfy there. He is really looking foward to us coming. He knows I will always have his back.

This time there will also give me a chance to talk with him about his treatment. I'm not telling him what to do...just helping HIM make a plan of attack. It has to come from him anyway...He has to want this because he is the one who has to do the work. We can't bully him into it. But I am not above some 'gentle' persuasion. lol

Moms blood pressure is high. She is not feeling good. This is too much excitement for her. I think she is getting scared. Lastnight she told me she just can't bear to see Nini deliver. She said she can't take seeing her in pain or distress. I am shocked at my Mom who birthed 11 babies and would do it again herself. Haha whatever....no pressure on anyone to do anything they are not comfy-cozy with!

Ok- I am off to finish a few things around here and pack.

I miss Lucy (as does Otto) and am going to call the trainer to let him know I am leaving tonight. And to see how she is... Bil must be lost without her! He is the one who spends the most time with her.

OMG- pray for me! I really feel like I am going to burst.
Peace!

Karolyn- thanks, I need to hear you on your soapbox...it really confirms what I am already thinking. It really helps me to se that in writting. And from someone else. So please don't ever hold back. It gives me knew strength to do what I have to do.

Last night Nini called- crying again. Her Dad (who was drunk) had started filling out the papers for the hospital with stuff like the babies name. Nini wants to use both the Bfs and her last names together. Bil only wants his name used.

It is causing grief between Bf and Nini. She feels her Dad is trying to make every single thing difficult for them. Bf told Nini he feels like he is trying to take over everything. He warned Nini that he will be very upset if he can't even be involved in naming his own daughter.

Bil is a control freak right now....and being drunk all the time is making him explosive on top of it all.

God I hope I don't have to have a run it with him. I warned Mom what was brewing...we are circling the wagons.

I calmed Nini and told her I will intervene on her and Bfs behalf all I can to support their decisions. As for now- Bil wants to be in the delivery room too. I have my concerns it is just to rob Bf of his experience. That's a horrible thing to think- but this is how Nini and Bf feel too.

Nini and Bf want to try and do this alone. She wants me and possible my Mom. That would cover the three wrist bands that are for the designated people allowed into the delivery room. She knows Mom and I would have no problem if she and Bf decide last minute they want to be alone. We would be happy to give them their space.

We just pray we can help make this as peaceful an experience for them as possible. My Mom thinks it is wonderful that Bf feels so protective and supportive of Nini right now. They need this bonding. Things will more dificult once the baby gets here- they need a strong foundation.

While Mom and I plot Bils intervention..... Lord give me strength.

So- we all are going to Moms for Mothers Day. Later Luv and I will be going out to dinner with his family. We are having dinner at an Itallian restuarant that is close to my Moms that his parents are very close friends with the owners (like old high school friends) So it will be a fantastic day!

Happy Mothers Day to all who read this. I think we are all Mothers to something or someone- so enjoy girls!

I just can't wait to see the BEST Mother of all though- Mine!
Peace

I hope you are enjoying a fabulous birthday!!!!! I have been thinking of you all day! Sending you loads of well wishes and happy thoughts. =D

Thankyou so much Noni... and the wt issue was not with Nini, she's fine at only 141 lbs right now. Dr was very happy with her wt gain with this pregnancy. It is the baby's wt. They voiced concerns cuz she is above avg every time they measure her. Their concern is with Nini delivering her vaginally.

Well- she got measured today, and the baby is 8lbs. She has two weeks to go but the Drs are concerned there is no more room for her to keep growing into. He has concerns about waiting any longer.

Nini had her next appt scheduled for next thursday- well they bumped it up to monday. If her cervix is open- they will schedule a room and she will try to delivery. He feels she can successfully do this now- but not if this baby gets any bigger. He claims the baby can put on a lb a week at this point...and we don't need a 10 lb baby!

Ok- so we wait for mondays appt. He said he will definately not let her go past her due date of May 19th. I told Nini a long time ago she was going to have this baby on my fathers bday May 12th... and she just might.

Otherwise Nini says she feels fantastic and is ready to go! She is nervous about labor...but keeping it together. I am going to skip the 40th bday party we were invited to this saturday- to spend the day readying the house and shopping for food for Luv. He warned me if I leave him to food shop alone I might not like what I come home to. Haha

Monday- the dog trainer comes to take Lucy. It could not have been cut any closer! Phew! Then I will wait for the call and we will all head down.

J found out her DD was very intoxicated that night! In fact- she was still drunk when she called the next morning. Her sister confirmed this with J when she got home. So what she told us was such a mess...it was hard getting to the bottom of it all.

Sadly this is her 2nd offense. But I hate to imagine what could have happened if she wasn't stopped. J is upset but hopes this will have a huge impact on her decision to not drink in the future.

J said when she got home the house was trashed, not just by the kids, but also her elderly cat who is throwing up all her foods on the sofa and her dog going potty in the house cuz nobody is letting him out. I really felt aweful for her. I mean- I don't think her kids are aware of how much they are adding to her stress levels, which is contributing to her having so many other issues. J is now on anti anxiety pills. It just frightens me the list of medications she has...


And other than being an ear for her right now... I feel like I am letting her down. I so wished I could have went home with her that day to help her a little.

Next weekend is her granddaughters bday party. Iwas hoping not to miss that...though things are really hectic with her DD's DUI they are dealing with right now. Such a shame.

Today Luv got the stitches out of his mouth and the Dr said everything is healing very well. Karolyn (birthday girl!!) he is having some areas of his gums built up that had receeded (I think) like grafting??? and they put something in there to build up the bone area??? Idk...Luv explains and still I have no clue. We'll just be so happy when he is finally done!

Mom is with Aunt Liz today at a Sites and Sound show they always go to. She wants to cook for Mothers Day. I told her we all wanted to take her out and she insist she'd rather we not spend the money and eat at her house. So this adds to my list of things to do...She will need me to help her.

Did I mention I am really tired? I have been sleeping well but still- I am tired. This morning I got all my paperwork done before the Bar meeting with the Officer acting as ABC inspector for the lisense renewal. Yup...it's that time again.

We passed the inspection with no problems. Luv did repremand how they are keeping the place though. He wants to see it cleaner. I told him- nobody is going to run it like we did- so forget it!

It's been a long day and still I have so much to do tonight.
Peace

I'm sick. For a couple of reasons...

J and I hit the ground running. We went out for a late lunch and a couple of Margarittas. It was so fun. Then we went shopping. I think we were in the store for 3 hours. We got some outfits for J's granddaughters bday. Her party is the 15th. I am keeping my fingers crossed I can make it!

After killing some more time driving and having a coffee we decided to go to this really great authentic mexican place for some more food. We shared a plate that was out of this world! It was a seafood enchalada with refried black beans and rice. Loved it!

Since Luv was having band rehearsal and my house was extremely loud...we went to our bar and had a couple of drinks and played pool- and not well! LOL They also have a Wii set up to play and we played some music and danced a little. Luckily the place was dead and only a few customers that I happened to know very well for years were there. It was a lot of fun. Luv came down and joined us for a few beers.

Did I mention J and I don't drink much. Ugh...we were shocked we were still standing. lol Went home and made a frozen pizza, salad and coffee. Couldn't believe it was 4am!

We got up at 8am- not feeling the best, got ready to go out to eat (yet again!) We all went out to breakfast then dropped Luv back home so we could walk with Otto on the tow path. We just made it back to the car when we got a call from J's oldest DD.

She was very upset. Had just gotten home from spending the night in jail. She went on to explain to us what happened. It was scattered...and a lot of crying. She was out having drinks with work friends and then they went to a diner. Apparently the police stopped her in the diner parking lot. They took her in on suspicion of being intoxicated.

Naturally J wanted to get straight home to get to the bottom of it and speak with the police. I am waiting to hear how they made out. The whole thing has me so sick to my stomach though. I wish I could have went with her. She was just telling me how she needs her kids to start being more self supportive, she can't do it anymore. And this DD specifically (she has the 2 yr old) has been a great stress to her. Now this...

Then I got a call from Ottos dog trainer. He can take Lucy Monday. This works out great bc they can bring her to Moms on Mothers Day and I can take her home with me. Saves me a trip. The trainer also asked if I'd mind if he took her to Indiana with him for 4 days. He said it would be a fantastic learning opportunity for her and he would keep her in the hotel room with him. I told him I trust him completely. And I trust his judgement with regards to how to train her. As sweet as she is...I also know she will not be an easy client.

I called Nini and found myself in the middle of her drama with Bil. That involved, pregnant teen with a permit and an alcoholic, impatient, control freak of a father, in a car. Not a good mix! I wish I could just take Nini in....I know Bil would never go for it. He can be quite belligerant and left her crippled in a puddle of tears while she was waiting to go in for her Dr appt. Yeah- her BP was high, but the Dr managed to calm her.

So- they will not let her go past her May 19th due date. If her cervix is open and she seems ready enough, they will break her water and enduce next week. So we will know more by next Thursday. If her cervix is not open they will schedule the hospital for her for the 19th and do it then. Nini is so excited with this news. She is ready.

Tomorrow we find out the wt of the baby. Nini just lost 6lbs. The Drs were not concerned at all about it. Said that is normal fluctuation.

I am exhausted. Going to try and get to bed early tonight. Will definately call J later.
Peace

So excited! J is coming over. We are going out to celebrate Cinco De Mayo and do some shopping. Maybe take in a movie or a walk on the tow path. Luv had band rehearsal, so we can check them out tonight too. She's sleeping over so it's going to be a great time!

Bingo was a lot of fun with Mom lastnight. As we were walking in she stopped and turned to me and said 'Did you ever think we'd be doing this??' Then she told me how much she just loves that we do this every week. She really looks foward to it. I told her I do too! Don't even care if we win or lose. It's just a great thing to do together. Plus we have both met so many new people. It's great!

And I won 5.00 woohoo! LOLOL Never mind what I spent...

We also ate there bc I had to use up that certificate I won. We got meatball subs (of all things!) and a soda that we never drank. As we sat there eating these big subs I couldn't help but laugh at us. I really like my Mom- as a person. It amazes me how simple and humble she is. And funny.

Nini is thick as theives with us too. It's getting so close now! I can't stand it!!! The 7th she finds out her size and wt. Of course she is afraid, with all that talk about how big she is...but I really think she will be just fine. We are praying she was just having a growth spert and has simmered down now Well- we will all know soon enuf!

She sounds soooo grown up when we talk now. I really think she has done some growing herself these months. I always was close with Nini...but I have to say- I had no idea how close we could be. I love this kid. And Mom...she's as close to Nini as she is to me. And Tini will soon join the fold. I can't wait!

Makes me kind of glad I never had my own kids....hows that for a realization???

Well- need to try and finish up few things.
Peace

Noni- I found it so funny that the simple pleasure of dining alone congered up such strange feelings for me. And it didn't even occur to me till I was walking into the place and they asked me 'How many?' Now what do you suppose all that is about??? Many people feel this way- but why?? I must admit, I was way more mindful of the whole eating experience. I took it all in- how it looked, how it smelled, how it tasted... with no interuption. I really liked it. Not to mention- it was an easy 'silent breakfast', unlike the ones I experienced at the Yoga retreat. I am just blown away by such a simple thing as that. Crazy!

And people who have live stock here (there are many) do have fences. You have to...but the animals do escape every now and then. Lady was quite the escape artist herself. Our other horse Cocoa would follow her screaming all the way, all upset, becuz she was trained never to cross lines. (yes- even a chalk line would hold her in a spot!) Luckily most people are Ok with it and don't freak out too much. hey- it was better than seeing bears! lol

The tow path is a hit or miss thingy with traffic. Most of the time it is dead quiet, with just the occasional passer by. But when it's warm out- it is Grand Central Station! becuz of the river. There's a lot of boating, canoeing, swimming, fishing, etc... there. The place I let Otto dip in is actually a boat launch area. Lots of bikers take the path too so they can ride with their children, safe from traffic. It's really nice. We love it both ways.

Karolyn- I had to LOLabout bringing a notepad! Too funny. I guess that's one way to get good service!

I really like that book I got. I find it fascinating...as with Yoga- you learn so much about the body, and what areas store what. You can almost tell by how you feel when you work an area. Sometimes I would get so beotchy and think 'Now what was that about???' not realizing I tapped into some old hurt or memory. There is so much to learn about ourselves!

And Nini- is doing really great. We talk constantly! Mom and I can feel how she and BF are kind of hovering around us. I know they are excited, but nervous, and I think they are leaning heavily on us to get them through. I feel like this about it- You know when a child is at a petting zoo, experiencing a new animal? They want to touch it...but they want to make sure Mom and dad are there to keep them safe. They have the courage- as long as they have a little backup... well- that's the feeling Mom and I get from them two. I am excited to just be on that sideline, to offer the occasional encouraging nod. I just pray to know the right amount of involvement, without it becoming interferance, you know??

Marta- You crack me up! LOL It's so funny bc I had recently bought steaks (not something I eat much of) and we were really enjoying them the two days before the steer showed up. So when we heard the mooing before the police arrived we were teasing about the 'dinner bell'. LOL And Lady has a reputation of eyeing the steers from way back! We use to live on a farm across from a steer farm. Their calls were what supplied the incentive for her to always escape. Whenever she was missing, we would find her parading up and down the fence with them all chasing after her.... what a sight! LOL Luv would call her hussy and drag her home. LOL So this was really funny to see the two of them calling to her at the fence. LOL
-----------------
Yesterday was so incredibly hot, that I waited till evening to take Otto for another walk. I almost had to call Luv to pick us up cuz Otto was dragging! I wouldn't let 'Frog' take a dip, but soon regretted that decision. As soon as I got home I took him into the shower with me, which he did not hesitate at all for. lol

So he has his pedi, walk and shower and was feeling pretty good after that. he was happy and wanted to jump around and play. Amazing what a refreshing shower can do!

Then the storms started rolling in. We put Otto in his 'crib' and he went fast to sleep, too exhausted to care about the storms. We all were!

It's a good rainy day to get some things done- so I best be getting to that...
Peace!

Wow is it HOT! We were able to take a nice walk lastnight but Otto still insisted on a dip in the Delaware River before heading home. I call him Frog when he does this. LOL

So- on our way back we ran into Rockys owner. Rocky was the little crazy doggie who just loved horsing around with Otto on the path once before. So apparently he was let off leash for a little freedom and he took off!

Everyone we passed on the very busy path was looking for him! Nice to know how people come together like that. My faith in humanity is restored!

Then a woman riding a bike, carrying a tackle box and fishing pole, with her grandson crashed and fell on the path behind us. Luv ran an helped her up. She had quite a gash on her elbow, but seemed fine when she got up. Her grandson called to her asking 'What happened Grandma??? You crash and burn???' LOL Another old man on his bike came to the rescue too. He and Luv told her to go home and have some wine to ease the elbow pain. haha

This morning we got up early to walk before the sun made it too unbearable. First doggie we saw on the path was Rocky! He was found!!! We were so glad we went early cuz by 10am it was crazy hot!

Again I tried to go to the new cafe that opened in town. Luv was feeling crampy from the walk, so decided to stay home. I went solo and have to admit, I can not remember when I last went out to eat alone. It was the strangest feeling. I felt like everyone at the cafe thought I was a food critic. LOL Real or imagined?? who knows.... lolol I texted Luv saying I felt weird. He said ' Bring me home french toast!' hahaha Ok...now I really feel like they think I'm a critic.... it was so strange, but nice sitting there solo with my paper. I really felt mysterious.

Is that crazy or what??? Note to self- do more solo jaunts nut! Hahaha Oh and the food was fantastic! I'm going to need to be careful with this place

Luv and Otto are snuggled in bed sleeping. I think the heat is just too much today for man or beast!

Speaking of beasts!!! Omg...Luv was at the bar collecting the rent check and giving them mail I had for them...while I stayed home, hoping to get some house work done, walked upstairs and thru the big window saw two giant black animals in my backyard. I had no idea what they were! But they were BIG.

I called the police and asked if anyone reported missing any live stock? Like Horses, ponies, cows or steers??? Nobody had...then I thought OMG- could they be bears???! The police said they were on there way to assist.

The animals went by Ladys barn and she flew out of her barn and started running and bucking and snorting. I was so scared they were bears! And big ones! Even Otto started barking at them. (and he doesn't bark for anything...) It was just dark enough we could not make them out...and then we heard them mooing at the fence for Lady. I quick notified the police they were steers.

Lady came strutting past them, running up and down the fence. This is not the first time she has flirted with steers or bulls. Naughty girl! I think theses two may have been out trying to make a love connection. lol

So cops come, Luvs out there, and with the flash lights they scared them into the woods behind the house, where as far as I know, they still are. Not that they meant to scare them- they just needed to know if they were horned or not, before they tried to catch them. They never got to find out before they took off.

I'm sure someone has to be missing them... definately need to call the police to see if they managed to get back home yet before I let Otto loose in the yard. He really was not happy about them and I no doubt he'd like to tell them himself.

Looks like we are in for some serious thunder storms tonight. I really wish otto loved them as much as I do. It's awesome witnessing them from the top of this hill! Looks like I will be locking Otto in his crib tonight again. That worked so well with the last storm. Guess he felt safe there.

Luv and I got up early today to try and go for a walk before it got too hot. Well...by the time we got in the car it was too hot. We were freshly showered and I just did not want to get all sweaty and have to redo al that so we could go for a ride after. Hopefully we can try and walk tonight. I need to be careful with Ottie the Hottie. LOL The bugs were biting him when Luv took him to feed Lady. I swear it's cuz he's so black and shiney.

So we packed waters and headed out for a ride to look at a used car for parts for Luvs BMW. It was a nice country ride. We stopped for coffee at the place J and I use to go to after that morning yoga class we use to take. It was really nice.

Then we started cruising through P.A.

Luv wanted to take me to a new place to eat in town that just opened up. I was excited about going and getting very hungry. (I am a total brat when I am hungry too) Not to mention I had to go to the bathroom but didn't want to stop anywhere cuz it was just way too hot for Otto...

So by the time I got home, Luv wanted to chk the movies playing...I didn't want to see a movie. And I don't think Luv did either... and then we weren't going out to eat, which started to get me aggrivated cuz I was hungry (me and hungry don't get along lol) Ugh!!!! So I just heated some soup and made a salad.

Luv snuck to the garage to work on his car. When I poked my head in to chk on him he looked like Otto when I come to take his bone away....LOLOL I assured him he can 'play' and I would stay in and putter around the house.

Within minutes he came up and asked if I would prefer we did something.

I came to the realization that Luv really over accomodates me. If I wanted him to stop working on that car and take me out to lunch, or to a movie, blah, blah, blah....he would have.

I really want to be more accomodating myself. So I am going to practice that a little and see how it goes. I love this guy. I really do...
Peace

I'm really scattered and pressed for time... I have to get ready to leave in a few minutes. I just wanted to make a few very quick notes bc I am losing journal time lately and I just hate when this happens!

The major drama I spoke of in last entry- Our guy who has worked for us forever got a call from his Mom to come home STAT. His brother, who was having some mental health issues, broke into his room and stole a loaded gun.

Our guy B has aquired quite a few guns, many high powered and really not even for hunting, since he was very young. These guns are showcases hanging on his walls of his bedroom. He keeps them loaded (Lord knows why...) and in tip top shape.

Luv and I had the rare honor of seeing them once quite a while ago. It scared us (not being gun advocates) and we questiones his intereset... but it is just a collectors hobby for him. To each his own...

Well- his brother broke the pad lock (B always keeps the room pad locked for safety sakes) stole one and went on a very long rampage.

Long story short- the Police were able to apprehend him, but the gun was lost. So now there is a loaded handgun out there. B is so upset that it could be used to hurt someone and possibly could have hurt his brother.

It was a very long weekend for us all last week.

Nini has been driving with an instructor and doing very well. She is very excited about being able to drive, but I had to have a long talk this morning about that responsibility.

There's a lot going on...I can't get into right now, but will when I can.

Mom and I had a great night at Bingo. She won!

Was supose to get Lucy to take to my Dog Trainer this weekend, but he is not ready for her for another week. I am just praying Nini holds off with her delivery till I can get Lucy to the trainer. They don't want Lucy to be removed when the baby is being brought home, so she doesn't make any negative association with the baby. I don't think that would happen, but then, what do i know...

Got a call from Garden friend. (I love this woman!) She recommended a book to me called Husband Coached Childbirth by Robert A Bradley M.D. It's is fabulous! I am learning soooo much of an area of life I never had a need to know of. I am fascinated and so happy to be asked to be a part of Ninis birth of Tini. I hope to be a help to her and BF, and not a hindrence. She is so happy I am reading it and actually get a lot of confidense in me. LOL

I am going through so much right now. Just a great growth spert for me... I have been very emotional, but in a good way. I am just filled with love and awe.

Noni- I have been doing some major meditating with you in mind on my many walks with Otto. Sending you loads of love and support.

Karolyn- I will get the info about Luvs work. He goes tomorrow for a chk up. It's been interesting. He is still puffy in the mouth. And Aunt Liz is ever the handful. Mom is going to the lions den this weekend. LOL I will let you know how she makes out. lol Ok- Idk why I am laughing- it really is NOT funny!

Marta- Thankyou for the carseat info sweetie! Yes- Nini got two new car seats and her car is actually mid size. It's a 4-door too, which will be a big help I am sure. I know the Police, FD and Health Depts all have the same car seat inspections here too! I love this!!!! And she is readying all those things now with BF. Thanks for the reminders though...bc you just never know what we don't know. So, I really appreciate it!

AND it's best friend J's bday today!!! God- I love this woman!

Ok...got to split
Peace

Update to Bil... he had a relapse and drank the other night. Nini said she could tell he was going to do it cuz he was picking fights with her...trying to get her to leave the house to go to her friends. See - he won't drink in front of the kids, so he needed her out of there.

She said she can actually see the struggle inside him...how he doesn't want to, then gets mad, then has to... it's going to be a challenge but he does want to quit- that's a start.

He knows he needs to go to detox. I just don't think there is any other way.

Nini got cleared for driving. And the Eye Dr said he wants to put a new lense in her eye (it's time) or possibly a new cornea... She is thinking she might just go for the cornea cuz it has a 100% chance of restoring her eyesight.

Bil also got her a car! He got her a 2007 Cadilac CTS. She loves it! And it's beautiful. Not bad for a first car.... but then Bil has alwaus beed over extravavgant with the kids...so nothing new there.

Karolyn...I will warn Nini about the 24th LOL. She goes next week for a chk on the babys wt, so they will know better what's going on. She said they want to try for her to deliver first and are hopeful she will be fine. We wait for more info on that...nothing cast in stone yet about c section.

Marta- They are naming the baby Maylia Rose. I think this is it cuz they have announced it to EVERYONE. lol As for me...I'm prolly going to just call her Tini. Butthen again- you never know. LOLOL We may see her and all things can change! LOL

Noni- I am warning my Mom about Aunt Liz but she doesn't listen. Then I have to hear about it all and it really ticks me off that she is so nasty. Idk...Her family isn't like mine. We can talk about anything to my Mom- nothing is off limits. Their family is the opposite. Everything is off limits! lol But it's really not funny... I appreciate your prayers! We NEED them!

Ok- so remember how Luv is having all this dental work done stemming from Otto and him bumping heads when we first got Otto??? Well he went for some of the surgery yesterday. They are building up something...I am not exactly sure what...but they cut some of his gums and sewed it somewhere elses... Ugh- I feel so bad for him!

When I sent him in I told them all to be gentle! That Luv was very scared! They all said 'AWE! We will take very good care of you!' It was kind of funny seeing his Dr babying him. He came out, after two hours, looking totally wiped out. He asked me to go take care of the bill, etc... while he sat in the car. When I went inside they laughed he refused to come back in. His Dr is sooo sweet. He called in some pain meds and warned he is going to swell. Told me to have him ice a lot! and he will call him later to check in...

We had a good night! He is a little puffy but, feeling ok.

I'm going to have to update later- have some major drama to post... Luv wants us to walk Otto now...
Peace