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Sex, venting and ???? Sex, venting and ????

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Unread 07-13-2001, 09:26 PM
Sex, venting and ????

I really think there's damage there on that low RH side and around my bladder or some kind of prolapse thing. Perhaps the dreaded adhesions which I was trying to forget about until I got the hormones sorted a bit more. Help me out - I just don't know. I haven't had many bad pins and needles episodes recently but after 'the event' my R hip, around back and down leg pain is back - well let's face it it never really went did it. Oh goody I'm so glad I enjoyed the experience last night. I also noticed and joked with DH (had he grown) that he is bottoming out - never happened before
Have I sunk or something, does it shrink, your vagina, I mean lengthwise???? is this some kind of prolapse thing, oh god i just can't go on like this. Why wasn't I warned of all this. I feel so cheated..............I'm sorry to vent but I need you, I'm too afraid to go back to the GP who already is spinning from what's already going on - I can't do this cr_p anymore. am I to live a life of celibacy from now on? If there was one thing I held dear was the ability to be with DH through all this and to ENJOY it. it kept me (and him) going. I am just avoiding it now. I thought my forties were supposed to be good!
Any thoughts on this - I'm sorry it's graphic but I really don't know how to explain it any other way.
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Unread 07-13-2001, 11:21 PM
Hi Lily!

We had the bottom out thing also. My DR said it was probably due to swelling at the top of vagina. It would eventually go away, and it is slowly. I'm 6 mos. post op. and we haven't been able to be intimate for the last 3mos. So I don't know if it is gone or not, sorry. They also told me that alot of standing can cause swellling in that area after a major surgery. Sorry I'm not a big help, but thought I would give ya my two cents worth. Hope ya get some good answers from our fellow sisters! They always come through! Best wishes!
Unread 07-14-2001, 10:01 AM
Sex, venting and ????

I am so sorry! I wish I had some answers for you, I also experience this with a great deal of pain Sex for has become a thing of the past. Please discuss this with your GYN, hopefully he will have some answers! Adhesions can cause this type of pain. I have also heard Nerve damage will too You will be in my prayers and know I am here for you anytime...
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Unread 07-14-2001, 12:23 PM
Sex, venting and ????

Dear ((((Lily))))

I'm so sorry to hear of everything you are going through

I think I know what you mean though...for about the last month of so, it feels like dh is hitting the wall so to speak. I don't know if this is the same feeling you are having, but it has bothered me, and I haven't discussed it with any of my dr's.

I kind of feel cheated myself. I think many of us on the road can understand this sentiment (sp?) Perhaps we are not in the majority, but that doesn't mean anything to us...cause we're dealing with all of this post-op crap that no one even warned us about. At least that's how I feel. I'm sorry I'm probably not making you feel any better...I just wanted you to know that there's a sister out here in cyber land feeling your pain. I wish I could do more.

I'm sending you big warm hugs, and praying for you. Please feel free to e-mail me anytime if you would like to 'talk' more about whats going on with you.

Unread 07-14-2001, 04:43 PM
Sex, venting and ????

Thanks you ladies, I know you have your own demons to deal with.
I had an awful night, back to painkillers and hardly slept. It is definitely affecting my nerves as this involuntary head jerking is worse today and no it's not anxiety. I'm too tired and sore to be anxious. My foot is cold and numbish, I have pain in my lower back etc. etc. ad nauseum. Maybe somethings pressing on a nerve when we 'indulge' and sets it off. Or maybe it's this whole auto-immune cloud hanging over my head. Maybe it's a cyst or some kind of tumour cos my ovary is sore too and I have wind and bowel discomfort. Maybe it's adhesions. Maybe this maybe that - I just wish someone would find out:hair: I nearly went to ER and may still go today, but if I need a gyn consult then it's a one in 3 chance of striking the surgeon. Oh well maybe that's a good thing at least I could give him a piece of my mind and show everyone what good handiwork he does But he's not touching me with a ten foot pole I'm tempted because I could be lucky and strike someone who actually knows what they are doing. Thanks for listening - you are my lifeline at the moment.
Unread 07-15-2001, 09:12 AM
Sex, venting and ????

Well the pain is getting under control here, now it's more than 48 hours after the event. Pain killers help. I gave the ER a miss because I can still function and DH took me out to the seaside markets. We walked around a bit but I fell asleep on the way home, so I guess the painkillers are working some anyway.
Besides with all you dealing with endo etc. and me having had a lot of pain before I figure I'm getting used to it, it's nothing compared to what you go through. I slept for 6 hours and it's now midnight here, but I knew my sisters would be awake I've thought about a lot of things (and dreamt ) I think I really need to run all this by a doc in town who deals in NHRT. I need to see just what and how much of this he thinks is hormone/immune related and if he can do anything for me. What I do know from 18 months of this is that the more estrogen I have the more pain I'm in. And before you jump in, I did have a lap after the hyst to check for endo and none found, just the adhesions. I'm still leary though because so many of my problems seem indicative of endo, the location of pain and nature of it, the fact he cut my uterus in two before he extracted it, and the fact he didn't use a lap procedure. But hormones are powerful things and maybe that's all this is, but I worry that they have missed something here. With more estrogen I have wind, (indigestion, which is a newbie) and bowel problems as well as the pain with intercourse. On a lower dose I don't have as much pain but I have symptoms of lupus, including the rash and I am non functional emotionally. So if I get the NHRT guys opinion, I'll at least have a starting point. That's if he will see me and not blow me off. After all it is a small community and I did see his partner post hyst - who just looked sad for me, and had no solutions. She offered me anti-dperessants, before she even listened to what I had to say. So at least I can go back and have on my records, that yes I DID have complications and no, it wasn't in my head. I can also say that yes, my ovaries failed and no that wasn't in my head either!
I emailed another Aussie sister who hasn't been on the boards for a while. She has come to the conclusion that there is very little men or the medical profession as a whole know about us women. And you know what, I think that's true, we are complicated and they just can't work it out
Together, we may not solve all our problems but we can at least be a support to each other when things get tough and we don't get answers anywhere else. Me, I don't know where I'd be without your support. Thank you for being there.
Unread 07-15-2001, 09:39 AM
Sex, venting and ????

I'm so glad you are feeling a little better I hope your Doc can help you with this! Please let us know what he says. You have always been a great source of comfort and support for me also....Thank you
Unread 07-15-2001, 09:50 AM
Sex, venting and ????

Big s s for you. I can't help much in the pain with the deed department. I didn't keep my ovaries but still experience a good deal of pain doing the deed. Poor dh , he really has been a trooper thru all this. Considering that for 5 years pre hyst I dealt with much the same problems, except than there was some sort of explanation. Now who knows.

Keep the faith my friend, and keep trying. I know it's hard sometimes, but you do have your friends here to lean on when the going gets particularly tough for you. Together, hand in hand, we will travel this road, and maybe even one day we will find the rainbow at the end of the road. Who knows, maybe there will even be a pot of gold

Glad you are feeling a bit better today.
Unread 07-15-2001, 10:38 AM
Sex, venting and ????

Dear Lily,

I'm glad you are feeling a bit better today ma'dear. I wish I could make you all better. It must be so frustrating not to know. I know for me a lot of my pain must've been caused by the Endo, but I also have this auto immune thing hanging over my head. Positive then negative test results. So everyone blames the rest on the Fibro.

I truly hope that this dr can help you. Sometimes its harder knowing our bodies so well...I used to sit back and take whatever prescription. Now after going through the trial and error thing so many times...side effects. Who knows, maybe this dr does hold the key for you. I'm saying a prayer...

You are a very supportive friend, and know that we are here for you to lean on...anytime.

Unread 07-16-2001, 11:35 AM
Sex, venting and ????

I hear you...all of you. And I quite agree that this is one of THE most difficult parts of having pain (STILL) after this type of surgery. Not only do I still have pain, but now "the deed" is pretty much impossible. We're down from 3-5 times per week, to less than that per YEAR. I just don't think my DH really understands the depth, breadth, and height of my pain. I'm seriously concerned that I won't be married this time next year. This, by far, has been one of the hardest things I've had to deal with. This on top of the pain is overwhelming...

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