Just feeling scared, alone

Hi ladies. I've been reading a lot. and this site has been very helpful and I feel more empowered the more educated I am.

However having to wait and think about my surgery for three months is taking it's toll. It's interfering with my daily life because, simply, I'm scared. There is no way to tell if the awful side effects will happen to me, no more orgasms, enjoyment from sex, etc. Until it's all said and done.

I've been suffering for a long time, and this past year and summer has by far been the worst. But I'm OK right now - I'm bleeding so for the most part I'm not in a huge amount of pain. About 80% of my pain comes with bleeding and then for 2 weeks after as I recover. Anyway I'm just afraid. I've done hormonal routes, I don't want to keep trying and failing and suffering. I do feel this is my only hope for at least some improvement in my quality of life, but I'm just afraid and I'm sure that's normal.

Except I keep crying randomly and it's really starting to drag me down with fear that something bad will happen after and I won't be able to fix it.

My partner told me he doesn't want to hear about this anymore. The same day I thanked him for being so good about it. So that's not helping. I have to keep this all to myself. I'm making an appointment with my doctor to ask a couple questions I wanted to, but I can't see her until the end of October. So I just sit and think about it.

Thank you all for your posts, just knowing you are all dealing with the same things helps one not feel so alone in this. I feel like this huge weight is on me, like basically I'm darned if I do, and darned if I don't.

Everyone gets a little nervous even when they know they have made the right decision. I would suggest that you read and gain all the knowledge you can. Everyone's experience is different and it is very easy to get caught up. Waiting is the worst part but it gives you time to research and become a little more settled with your decision.

Guys are "fixers". They want to hunt down the problem and "kill" (fix) it. When they can't do that, they get very frustrated and they feel inadequate and even somehow less manly that they can't make it all better. It's the way they're wired from millions of years of evolution.

But know that we are always here for you. 24/7 there's always someone here at hystersisters to listen and give support and hugs.

I know the waiting is terrible. Can you call your gyn and ask questions over the phone? Or maybe talk to one of the nurses in the office? Why can't you see your gyn until October? Can you call and try to get an earlier appointment just for a consult? I did that and it made a huge difference.

{{hugs}}
Leigh

Thank you CeCe... I think I've done too much research! I've done so much over the past year, especially the past month. I've read so many stories, and you are right, everyones experience is different, some great, some horrible. That's why I'm confused. There is no way to know what will happen after. I need to accept that I guess and just remind myself I'll have to deal with it when it happens and not before.

Keeping busy and putting it totally out of my mind seems to be all I can do at the moment to function properly, so I'll have to keep at that... I keep reminding myself think positive.

I hope your surgery goes really well!

Waiting is the worst part. It is easy to focus on all the negatives things instead of the positive one. I can tell you for me the surgery was "textbook" & my recovery, while not fun, was good. I am fine from the surgery today. So it can all go the way it should & be just fine. Try to keep yourself busy so you do not have as much time to worry. I am sure it will all turn out fine for you. Best wishes.

Thank you Leigh.... the office tells me I can't get in any earlier than late October. I think one of my questions about the cuff has been answered from reading on this site. I'm concerned about the ovaries not functioning but no one can answer that. She's already told me they will function but I'll likely go into menopause a little earlier. That's OK, it's the stopping functioning in like a year that scares me, which I've read about.

You are right about men, I know, he's even admitted that. They can't handle things like we do and they don't think or function like we do, so we have to give them a small break. I know it's driving him nuts listening to me worry, and it just worries him too, so I've been really good, but then I keep bouncing around myself.

I think talking to my doctor one more time will put me at ease, she did a good job when we discussed going ahead with this. If I could just get in to see her, or even talk to her over the phone. Her new office staff are terrible and that's the problem, the old staff were wonderful and would leave her messages etc.

Thanks again, just getting it off my chest helps. It's fear of the unknown, but then again that comes with everything. I had a lump removed from my breast two years ago and I rememeber how scared I was of that, and now I don't have pain so I'm happy. I remind myself of that

Hi, I just had my hysterectomy 4 days ago, and I had the same symptoms as you.I don't regret it at all, I'm thrilled with the thought that I won't have those horrible periods anymore Anyway, the waiting is the hardest part, I couldn't get an appt. for a long time either. As for the sex part, I've heart that you can still have orgasms, just not the same way. Try not to think about it, and keep your mind busy, it worked for me. Work, puzzles, movies, reading. Anything that interests you. Good Luck

First I want to give you !

Ce-Ce gave some very good advice. It IS easy to get caught up AND the waiting is the worst part! BTW, by the time I wrote this, other sisters chimed in with excellent advice too!

I know I felt trepidation, anxiety and some fear (very similar to yours) at times. So you are in good company. It's also good for you to vent here as we can totally understand your feelings and emotions.

I'm also a believer in what we focus on expands. Do we need to be aware of the risks and possible complications from this surgery? Of course. But there are also SO many benefits from this surgery that we need to keep in mind and focus upon.

So for me I prepared myself mentally and emotionally that my LSH would help give me a much higher quality of life and that I would handle whatever may happen as a result of a possible complication. Did I worry at times? You betcha! But I made a concerted effort to keep it in check as I felt that being as calm and positive as I could be would only help me in my surgery and recovery.

Take the time to enjoy being with your partner, your friends and/or family. Relax, smile and focus on the positive aspects of your life. Yes knowledge is power and I spent many hours reading this wonderful site but I also took time to enjoy my life and do other things.

I hope you have an uneventful surgery and recovery as I did with mine. We'll be thinking of you!

As others have said, the waiting is the worst part, but I can't imagine having to wait three months. I only had to wait three weeks, and then it was over.

It sounds like your partner is pretty stressed by this too. I'm sure he wants terribly to make you feel better, and probably feels helpless that he can't. Do you have anyone else who might let you lean on them for a while?

It's easy to imagine all things that can go wrong, things that might never be the same, but usually those things work themselves out. I'm several years post-op now, and I feel better than I've felt in a very long time. Try to have a positive outlook, but discuss all these concerns with your doctor or a trusted nurse. See if they can help you deal with the stress of the wait.

I'm right there with you. My surgery is in 10 days, and the wait is killing me!

The first thing my doctor recommended is getting counseling during this difficult time, and to help with the emotional issues of recovery.

I have many of the same fears as you do- will I be plunged into menopause (I'm 31...)? Will sex be the same? Will it hurt because of scar tissue? Will I be able to orgasm still?Those feelings and fears are completely normal!

My partner made a big deal about being my support system, but he has said he doesn't get it. He knows how my problems have affected me, but doesn't 'have the same equipment" so he doesn't understand. He really wanted me to talk to a few of my female friends about some of these things, but since they've never had problems- it's difficult.

I just joined this site a few days ago. This is my first response to a thread- but just knowing that this site is here- that there are other women out there who have walked htis path ahead of me, helps. I hope it helps you too!