Coming home worries

Hi everyone
I am due to have my hyst on 11 may. My gyn is not sure whether it will be TAH or TVH.
My main cornern is for when I get I home. I have a 12yr boy and a 13yr boy. I live on my own with the kids and I will have very little help when I get home from hospital. I am just wondering what I could do to make things easier for us when I get home.
I have explained to them what I am having done and how I will be when I get home. They have both been very good about it. I just fear that I will be putting to much pressure on them at an early age.
I guess the fact that I dont know what I can and can't do when I get home doesn't help. Plus I dont know how bad I will be. both my boys were c section deliveries and that was easy enough I just dont know what to expect from a hyst.

Any advice or comments greatly appreciated
thanks
Ros

Since you have time, you can prepare by cooking & freezing meals and buying ingredients & preparing recipes for the kids to make. Make sure you have enough household supplies so you don't HAVE to shop for 3-4 weeks. Set up your room & living room furniture & such so you're comfortable & everything's easily accessible for you. Borrow books/dvd's/whatever so you can enjoy something while recovering the first few weeks. Make sure the boys divide up the chores ahead of time, including yours. If appropriate for your style of parenting, get some treats/goodies ahead of time to surprise them with for helping you. My 13 yr old daughter whined but did help a lot. Oh, & just resign yourself to ignoring the extra dust bunnies that will take up residence in your house - it's ok! And try to line up a friend to do any driving or to help with any unexpected errand.

Get prepared, & you should do fine. Hope this helps a little! Take care, Kanre

Ros-

I am having my surgery on 5/13 so I can't say anything about exactly how you'll feel, but I can tell you that your kids will probably be plenty of help for you.

My mom had her surgery when I was 12 and my brother was 5. We were on our own, at that time, and I really felt useful and enjoyed helping my mom. I folded clothes, cooked simple things like soup and things in the micro., I cleaned some a little, and did dishes. It wasn't too long til Mom could take over some of these things.

I'm sure if you've explained to your boys that you will really NEED their help that theywill come through with flying colors.

I will keep you in prayer on the 11th. Good luck!!

lynn39

When you get home, for the hours when your children aren't available to help, you will likely want:

Lots of choices of your favorite munchies/fruits/etc that are EASY to fix or ready-to-eat. That first few days you get a little hungry, you go try to pick something and nothing sounds good. If you at least have the choice between sweet/salty available, then you don't have to stand around a long time trying to decide.

Be sure that you can get in/out of bed and up/down from toilet by using your arms and not your abs. I had a kitchen chair turned backwards against my bedside so I could lean on it like hospital bed rails for the first few days.

Some of us are unsteady in the shower the first few days home. If a plastic lawn chair fits your tub/shower - it's great. If you also have a shower head that comes off the wall to be hand held, you're golden. If not, you may want to think about an easy way for you to be steady/comfortable in the shower. Some days that was a huge accomplishment but it can make you feel human to bathe.

Drag out all your extra pillows. Put your favorite pillow covers on them. You're going to be propping yourself all over the house to get comfortable. Also you want a firm pillow or a cotton blanket folded til it fits a pillow case to hold on your tummy for coughing and laughing.

Look to see that you have a handy place to set a drink and snack near anywhere and everywhere that you may plop to rest. You may get to the recliner and find yourself snoozing unexpectedly, especially if you accidentally take your pain medications on an empty stomach.

Make sure you have several first aid ice packs in the freezer, or spare bags of frozen peas. I found that icing my bikini line incision for 20 minutes several times a day kept down swelling, pain and that infernal itching that happens when your nerves start to knit back together.

I also found it very helpful to get a portable bar-height stool. When I did get back to cooking, I still couldn't fight that "everything falling out feeling" very long. But if I could rest on the stool while I cut veggies or minded a boiling pot, I could stay in the kitchen longer to get dinner going.

Men's PJ pants were my inexpensive fashion accessory during recovery - I could put colorful t-shirts with them and it looked like an outfit. The drawstring meant I could adjust to what was comfy, and I didn't look like I was in MY pajamas. The race cars and spongebob or whatever were kinda fun for a change. Also, I had color-coordinated flip-flops because it was warm weather and I could look "put together" for my short walks or while I was zipping around the grocery aisles in their electric cart.

When you are cleared to drive yourself again, and you simply must go to the grocery store, PLEASE don't be shy about using their electric cart. It was a godsend for me to not walk all that mileage in the store pushing a heavy cart. And if you ask, a bagger will follow you to the car and return the cart to the store for you so you don't have to walk the parking lot, either. If you're the sole parent in the household, you're going to have to conserve your energy and strength where you can!

Ros,
I had a TVH 8 days ago. I am still experiencing discomfort, especially is in the same position too lone, i.e. sitting or standing. The pain meds keep it all tolerable. You will have to take care of yourself by resting ALOT. Remember if you dont recover properly, you will take longer to heal! Get lots of ready to eat foods for the boys and yourself. Be prepared to do mostly nothing for atleast 2 weeks. Have someone lined up to come over to help as needed, for laundry, groceries, etc.
The boys are old enough to really help out and get through this just fine. I have a 17 y/o boy and an 11 y/o girl and they have both been huge helpers!!!
Take care!

Hey sweety We are having surgery on the same day....I am ecited & nervouse all at once..How about you?

HI all Hystersisters, this is my first time writing to you all so please excuse me if I make mistakes.
A usefull tip I was given pre-op was to go and buy some cheap trackie bottoms or similar that have a draw cord type fastening and smooth fine seams on the inside at the front. The smooth ,flat seams wont rub on your wound and the draw cord can easily adjust to fit round the dreaded swellybelly. Fixed waistbands and zips just dont work - ouch !!!! I found some cheap dark blue / mid blue ones in Asda ( in USA ? wallmart ) but any large supermarket should have something similar . They were only £3.50 - very cheap so I thought I could throw them away if they got baddly stained etc. But so far I've found them so comfy I live in them.
When you feel you have had enough of being stuck inside and want to see if the outside world is still there borrow an elderly relatives mini disabled scooter. They are fantastic !!!!!!
I felt a bit embarrased the first time I went out ,but now I can get to the corner shop, visit my Mum who lives two blocks away, and I hope to ride to Asda later on today as there is no bus, and I cant drive for 3 more weeks. Just make sure thet you put it back 'on charge' as soon as you get back home so its always ready for the next outing. My family walk along side me so they can help reach the high and low shelves at the supermarket.
I hope these little tips help some of you pre-op hystersisters and good luck .
I'm recovering well ( my op was on 7/04/05 ), although some days are better than others. Its supprising how much help you can get from teenage boys when they realise that they have to do housework /cooking or live in chaos and starve. I think that this experience of looking after themselves and me will come in handy when they leave home and get their own place.

I was also worried about what I could and couldn't do as I have 4 kids,my DH works swing shift and is gone alot of the time.I had nothing to worry about though.
I am almost 4 weeks post-op.At 8 or 9 days after my TVH, I was driving.At 2 weeks, I was cooking meals for my family.At a little over 2 weeks, I was doing laundry and light house work.Yesterday, I went grocery shopping with my 4 kids and my hubby.I did NOT lift anything over 15 pounds nor did I push the cart.You'll find that you tire easier and need to rest more often.
Be SURE to call YOUR Dr. and ask what you can/can't do.Don't push yourself and if you feel pain when you attempt to do something, then STOP!!
My kids are 14 1/2 DD, 11 1/2 DS,7 1/2 DS,4 1/2 DS.................your children are old enough to do most of the work.Even my 4 1/2 year old helps with chores.They may whine about it, but they will be fine.
Good luck and I pray it all works out GREAT for you.

Thank you everyone for your support.
i have been lucky that my eldest has learnt to do the washing the way I like it done and will actually put a load through if he sees I havent had time, so the laundary I'm not to worried about. The youngest can cook simple things (with my supervision from a chair) so that should get them by the first couple of days I'm home.
The youngest can then help me in the kitchen to get things out and put them away when Iam ready.

I just cant believe that I will be going in soon and my 12mnth non stop period will be over. I cant wait but I am so scared too.

I have found this site so helpfull with the information and the support.

Good luck to everyone and thanks for you support