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Dear Beth,
I read your last post and I am very concerned about you. I think if you feel your doctor is powerless to help you and he is going to continue on with the surgery maybe he is not the right doctor for you. I can't imagine how ethically a doctor would operate on a woman who is feeling the way you do right now. You need to be mentally prepared also. It's a major surgery with a long recovery unless you have da vinci, but still major surgery. You need to take care of you first, and this surgery may be the only alternative you have right now, but the timing is not right for you yet. I just feel that if you go into this surgery feeling as down as you do you are seriously jeopardizing your recovery and possible complications also. I worked with a surgeon many years ago who operated and cared for cancer patient's. He is also a well known author his name is Dr. Bernie Siegel. He has believed in the power of positive thinking and speaking to his patients even when they are under anesthesia I have seen him do it. He tells them to make their body bleed less and lower their blood pressure and it happens!! He is amazing. I wish you would just look into him. His website lists all his books. You can postpone your surgery, and just because you've been putting it off doesn't mean your ready yet. If you really feel your life is over in two weeks then you should not have the operation. I worry about you, and strongly feel that when you have that negative thought process it will affect your healing ability. Please think about this, one doctor that you feel is powerless to help you has now made you feel powerless! You are not powerless at all. This is your life, please think long and hard before you decide to go ahead with it. I wish I could help you more. IMHO I just feel he' not the right doctor for you if he knows what's going on in your head he would not operate.
alicia

Oh Beth,

I think you are definately grieving! I have worked on similar feelings with my counselor and she was very helpful. Even if you continue with the procedure, I would like to suggest taking time in recovery to work with a grief therapist. It was tremendously helpful for me, but I had a lot more time to work on this.

I will be praying for you!

Beth,
After reading your post and thinking about this more, I am really concerned for you. I agree with luvee that you need to take care of yourself and part of that might be to find another doctor who you feel more comfortable with. I know you feel like you have put it off for a year and let's just do it, but it appears that you are grieving over the upcoming loss which is normal. You may need more time to sort out your feelings and I definitely think that a counselor may help you. This would be especially important if you go through with the hysterectomy right now. You need someone who you can talk to and who can help you deal with this. It is major surgery even with the DaVinci as I can attest to. It has taken me months to recover and I am still recovering. So please take care of yourself. I know that we all care very deeply about you and are worrying about you. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you can start to have some peace with this. Sending lots of hugs and best wishes.