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Help I really think I am losing it today Help I really think I am losing it today

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Unread 06-18-2007, 04:24 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Shining Star
Thank you so much. I don't know what to think or how I am supposed to feel but I am hoping eventually everything will work out. He does not care if I want to see my family I can go over when I want he is upset because they didn't come to the hospital or come here or even call me since the surgery. He said he won't go over because they didn't care enough for me to come over or call. I just need to figure things out and I am not sure how so I think I am going to talk to the Dr. about it and see if maybe it is me that I am just blowing everything out of proportion. Who knows it could be. Thank you so very much for your concern.I am really hopeing it is me and not my marriage falling apart. Thanks again.
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Unread 06-18-2007, 11:02 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Well the Dr. called today and said all my tests came out great, no seizures. Thank God.. She said the crying and mood changes are probably from depression and we will talk at my next appt. to decide what we will do about it. So good news from that call..
Unread 06-19-2007, 12:56 AM
Help I really think I am losing it today

I feel better about your situation now (at least with your husband). In fact, I don't blame him for being upset with your family. I would be too. My mom came over for my surgery to help me with the kids, house, husband,etc. She even stayed longer than she had to and I don't know what I would have done without her. My dad was great letting her stay for so long since she helps with the family business. My hubby did dumb things like bringing food for him and our kid to the hospital room when I was nauseated (haha-they DID need to eat!) but he was there for me emotionally. I bet your sister will feel bad she didn't help you some after she goes through it herself. Sometimes we don't realize how difficult something is until we've "been there, done that". Your emotions should improve with time (hopefully). I know mine did.
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Unread 06-19-2007, 07:11 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

I sure hope my emotions improve because this is hard. How long did it take you to improve? I know everyone is different but I just need an idea on how long. That was good that you had help. Your family sounds pretty close. And that is wonderful. Yeah men can do some silly things with the best intentions but sometimes it is annoying. God Bless them. How do you feel now? I see that is has been 7 months since your surgery so I was just wondering how everything is with you now. I hope all is well.
Unread 06-19-2007, 07:50 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Hello Ladies. Do you want to hear a good one? I just need to vent a little bit. My other brother lives around 14-15 mins. away from me, well I called earlier today just to see how things are going because I haven't heard from him in a while but he wasn't home but he just called and I asked him how things were going and he informs me that my parents were over his house about 1-2 weeks ago. I am soooooooo HURT they have not called or came over to see me since July of last year and I went through this surgery and I am going through a lot right now and they go to his house. Well for the last 2 years I have had a Christmas party here My brother (the one in Nantucket) and I always buys gifts for Santa to give to the kids well last year my parents couldn't come for that either so I think I am going to tell everyone just to do it somewhere else from now on I am soooooooo sick and tired or being made a fool of I really can't take this anymore.... When I was in the hospital my dad went to Washington to see a member of his church of course daddy is the pastor there so that is his job but still I am his daughter...And I was told they couldn't go anywhere because they were sick but the day I was released they went to town. I can't believe this I really can't. I must be one no good - - - - - for my own family not to want anything to do with me... Thanks for letting. I am just going to go and have a good cry and then forget about it like I do everything else in my life......Sorry for being like this....
Unread 06-19-2007, 08:30 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Dear who am i,

Please be kind to yourself, especially since you have so many others who are not. You deserve that kindness!!

I didnt even tell my sister when my surgery was. When I told her i had made the decision, she went into her own medical ills, and then said, be grateful you dont have cancer! gotta go, dinner is ready! It didnt seem to even matter so I just didnt even tell her.
Unread 06-19-2007, 09:32 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today


That is such a shame. I think that some people only care about themselves and how they feel that it doesn't matter what else is going on around them. The thing that gets me is how the ones that don't care act like it is no big deal but when it is them they want all kinds of sympathy and that is not right. I guess that is how things go though it may not be fair but thats how it is. I am just having a hard time accepting this one because I am always there for everyone else in my family weather it be they are sick they just need help cleaning or moving or painting whatever but the minute I need help or I need something no one is available and that hurts really bad. Thats why I think this time I am done. This is not something that just started this has been going on for years now and I am just fed up with being the black sheep it is never,Hey Kim lets go do something fun, its Hey Kim could you help with this or that. That is all it has ever been and I just can't do it anymore. Thanks for the advise, you know it is hard to be kind to yourself when you think that you are doing something wrong and no one will tell you what so you automatically think that whatever is wrong it is your fault. But thats my life. Everything is my fault. It was even said that this surgery was my fault because I work to hard that maybe I will have learned my lesson. Imagine that.... My fault that everything decided to fall. Go Figure......
Unread 06-19-2007, 09:38 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

The rest of your family sounds pretty sick...I think you are right to cut off contact.

If you are the one that has always helped everyone else, then "everyone else" has been well trained by you.

Time to change the curriculum! You're the teacher - stick by your guns and do for YOU!

Unread 06-19-2007, 09:48 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Kim, it is NOT your fault. I am a very spiritual person, and usually i take the view that there is some lesson God wants me to learn. last week i thought maybe God just didnt love me the way i love Him -- and it is another dysfunctional relationship in which I am codependent. I am glad this week I have progressed to thinking about the wonderful kind gestures and how much they have meant to me. And how i am better knowing which people just arent there for me (or arent there so very much)

it is time for you to put yourself first!! And the next time those users come around to mooch just say no -- and you dont need an explanation!! Just NO. You are worthy of being put first. (Dont worry, God and i are back together this week, he was just practicing tough love!)
Unread 06-19-2007, 09:50 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

"You know you're codependent when you're dying and someone else's life is flashing before your eyes."

- Anonymous :-)

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