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Pre-op Disappointment Pre-op Disappointment

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Unread 03-19-2002, 06:37 PM
Pre-op Disappointment

I just need to vent a little. I went for my pre-op visit today and felt like the Dr. felt this was HIS show. I'm glad I was prepared with questions (thanks to this site) because he sure didn't volunteer any information. In fact it was like he assumed I knew everything to expect. I felt like a non-participant and this is my body that will be invaded! I shared my hyster sister site info with him and he did seem interested. I just hope he'll actually log on and get some idea of what we ladies are concerned about.
I'm having a TAH with removal of ovaries and cervex and he said I should be able to go back to work in 3 weeks!
He didn't offer any information about gas or bowel issues...I had to tell him I knew there may be some pain. I am so thankful for this site or I would've been in for a very rude awakening at the hospital and after!
While I've heard his surgical skills are excellent, his compassion and bedside manner could sure use some improvement.
While I hope I have a speedy and uneventful recovery, I didn't feel that he was open to my feelings and concerns. I felt like an assembly line patient. Next!
At least I had the information on hand to let him know I was an informed patient but I sure don't feel like he was interested in me as a person.
This sure doesn't make my waiting time any easier. I appreciate you all letting me vent and supporting me and the rest of us LIW's.
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Unread 03-19-2002, 06:54 PM
Pre-op Disappointment

Shirley...just my 2c here, but there are lots of surgeons with excellent skills. It sounds like you don't have any kind of connection or relationship with this guy at all. Have you considered getting another opinion or looking further to find a doctor you can communicate with better?

I know you are scheduled soon, but if you are not comfortable with this doctor, you have no obligation to continue. This is your body and your surgery; if you aren't happy with the relationship, perhaps you should find a new doctor! We don't have to settle for poor treatment OR poor communication.

Again, just my thoughts, but you are entitled to a complete relationship with a doctor you trust and feel comfortable with.

I hope things go well for you!!!!

Unread 03-19-2002, 07:04 PM
Pre-op Disappointment

Thanks. I've thought of that, but at this late date I just want to get it over with. I've been asking myself if I want a competent doctor with not so great bedside skills or take a chance on getting a doctor with a great personality and so-so surgical skills even though all of them are supposed to be capable.
The thing is, I've heard such great things about this doctor and how happy the hospital is to have him on staff. Maybe it's just me? Maybe my pre-surgery jitters are making me hyper-sensitive to not getting what I think is pre-surgery pampering?
Well, I'll just pray that I'l be more confident when I see him next week and that he'll have checked out the site to see "WHAT WOMEN WANT"! lol
Thanks for your advice. I appreciate it so much.
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Unread 03-19-2002, 07:07 PM
Hi Shirley

I am sorry you had such an unpleasant experience with your doctor. Here's a which I hope makes you feel better.
The first doc/surgeon I went to after my diagnosis was very similiar to what you described. I felt like I was on an assembly line, he spent no time with me and gave me no information and that was WITH my cancer diagnosis.
I would have been scared to death to proceed with him in my surgery. Fortunately I found this website shortly after that visit. And attended a Hystersisters luncheon in my area where another surgeon whom I had been thinking of going to anyway, was recommended. He was Wonderful and it was a completely different experience. I was able to go into surgery very confidently and calmly. I do believe that for me it has made all the difference in my smooth and speedy recovery.
Please know that we support you in all of your decisions. However if you wish to consider interviewing another doctor or two please do so. This is your body and you have a right to feel safe in all aspects.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Unread 03-19-2002, 07:14 PM
Hi Shirley

Hi - I am very sorry to read that your dr. wants to send you back to work at three weeks post. Even though his bedside manner stinks, try to look at it as he is really in to his work and not a big talker. I personally need a dr. with a good bedside manner. When I'm nervous I talk, so I need them to talk back. I just say "would you please talk to me because you are kind of freaking me out...." That seems to do the trick.

Back to the work thing....

First see how you feel. Be up front with the doctor. Be in charge of your health with him, not under him. Listen to your dr. but listen to your body too.

I went back to work part time at three weeks post because my employer made me. I now have adhesions to deal with. My recovery has been long. Listen to your body.

Good Luck and Take Care - RobinS
Unread 03-19-2002, 07:16 PM
Pre-op Disappointment

That's too bad that your surgeon did not address more about this procedure and post-op concerns with you. I have gotten a lot more information from this site already (and I've only been on a few days!), so I'm glad it helped you.

BTW, last summer I was in your area! I was visiting friends in Eugene! Pretty part of the country!

Take care.
Unread 03-19-2002, 08:37 PM
Pre-op Disappointment

Thanks Robin, that's some really good advice. I think I will tell him he's freaking me out. Maybe it'll even make him smile a little.

I plan on letting my body tell me when I'm ready to go back to work. I've told them to plan on me being out 6 weeks, but hopefully, I'll be able to return sooner. I work at a fitness facility and have to show ladies how to use the equipment plus take their measurements which requires bending (for thighs and calves) so I doubt I'll feel like doing that at 3 weeks! Most of the time there is one other person on duty so I can have them do that part at least.

I was especially dismayed to hear him say I could go back at 3 weeks because I've read the boards here that say weeks 3-5 are tough because of the internal stitches disolving and the ligaments having to do the work. Well, thank goodness I'm not working for this doctor or I'd have to call in "sick"! Lol

It's very important to me to be a part of the decision making process. The hospital nurse will be calling me on Friday and I'll ask her more questions about the proceedure and the doctor!

I'm feeling much better just being able to discuss this with all you wonderful ladies here.
Thanks again.
Unread 03-20-2002, 04:49 AM
Pre-op Disappointment

Shirley, I'm sorry you were treated that way by your doctor! s for you!

I'm 3 weeks post and even though I feel wonderful, there is no way I would be able to do the work you are describing. I had no complications in surgery or recovery.

I'm not saying that you will, but you have to allow for your body to heal at it's own rate. I have discovered that I heal pretty quickly!

I would think that if your work is letting you have 6 weeks off, they understand that you are going to be recovering from major surgery.

I agree with Robin, just tell him that you would like to have some more information about the surgery and post-op and you are concerned about the fact that he doesn't seem to understand you want to know details! I make lists of everything and I arm myself with them at appts. My doctors saw that and answered each question I had.

Good luck! I will be thinking and praying for you next week!

Unread 03-20-2002, 11:16 AM
Twin Dr

Hi Shirley,
Your surgeon (I won't even call him a Dr.) sounds just like mine (I'm from Albany, NY). The first time I met him was after I found out my fibroid tripled in size within a year. All of my appts have been with the RN (who I love and can talk to). I shared this site with her and she thought it was great to have an outlet like this. Even though I went to the appt thinking the worst, I was in shock when he told me I needed a hyster. I couldn't think of what to say (my thinking processes went numb). He said he was going to take everything, maybe even my appendix (this he said with a little smirk). Asked him why, he said it was preventative - same with taking the ovaries, tubes, cervix. Then after all this he asks me when I planned to have this done, like I was thinking about it all along My pre-op appt is going to be 100% different because I am going armed with a list of questions I've been compiling, thanks again to this site. Boy! I wish I knew then what I know now.
Shirley, do you have a nurse in the office that you can talk to? As far as the 3 weeks . . . listen to your body and go back to work when you feel able to, especially in your position. And remember all that you learned here - - rest, rest, rest, drink, drink, drink and rest some more!
Thanks for listening and good luck. I just couldn't pass up responding to your post because I can relate.

Unread 03-21-2002, 03:59 PM

I,too am having a TAH with removal of ovaries and cervix. My doctor was very patient and understanding. He gave me two websites to look at and several pamphlets to read about before and after surgery takes place so I will know what is going on. I had an obgyn that sounds a lot like yours, she had very little compassion, treated me like she didn't even know my name, and it made me feel very uneasy and hurt. She made me feel I was wasting her time with stupid questions and I felt humiliated. Although she did a laser laproscopy on my stage 4 endo, I hunted for another Dr. that was more my personality match. She was a decent surgeon, I guess some people just don't have the personality to understand fear and the compassion to deal with it. I am sure your dr. knows what he is doing, but maybe he just needs a course on personality101!!! You should never feel uncomfortable asking questions , it is your life. My new doctor said patients should be able to ask any question and get any answer , that is the least they can do.
My thoughts are with you!!!
I am scheduled april 10th . my direct email is [email protected]
Feel free to contact me and I will try to answer any questions you have if i can!!!

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