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Am I just too sensitive or what? Am I just too sensitive or what?

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Unread 05-22-2002, 11:20 AM

I felt rotten when I heard that my daughter was having surgery last week but the doctor wouldn't allow me to travel till after my surgery on the 12th of June. I never could imagine me not going if able. I am lucky that have a special DH for my parents are dead. My daughter would come if she could but she will only be 4 weeks post op. So I have friends and other children at home still to help. Someday they will need you. My father chose his girlfriend over us but in the end we were the ones who supported him after he passed away she fled with the $ and all she could get. We cleared up the estate which left us in debt. But what goes around comes around three fold or more so hang in there.
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Unread 05-22-2002, 11:30 AM
I am so sorry you feel alone.

I hope you know that you are not alone here. If I could I would watch your kids for you.
I understand about distant parents. Although my mom is there for me now, it hasn't always been that way. I don't have the kind of parents who will watch my kids or even take them for the weekend (neither do DH's). We have learned to be self sufficient. I have been worried about who will watch my kids for my surgery too. But this message isn't about me, it's about you.
Just feel good in knowing that your kids won't be alone ever. My step daughter's mother is the same way and is hardly ever involved in her life. It hurts I know. My SD is always setting herself up for the same fall and it breaks my heart. All I know to tell you is that you have friends here and although we may not be there in the flesh we are there for you in spirit.

Unread 05-22-2002, 12:12 PM
Am I just too sensitive or what?

I feel guilty as I have a wonderful support system in place for my kids. My in-laws live next door and already each took 3 weeks vacation to keep the kids for my recovery.

But I still want my mom to come and stay with me, at least for a few days. She lives in MN and I've never had her here for anything major in my life. So it would be nice if she made me a priority and came to be with me.

Sending s to all the sisters~
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Unread 05-22-2002, 12:17 PM
Am I just too sensitive or what?

Once again....thanks for your understanding everyone.

I will be fine without my parents, but there's no way around hurts! Someone asked about my MIL.....she would be here 110%, but she died of breast cancer 8 years ago. She was so wonderful, I couldn't have asked for a better MIL and even though she wasn't here to meet her grandchildren, she would have been the best grandmother in the world to them!

Someone also asked where I'm at....Vancouver, WA. Anyone from here?

I just can't believe the support you all have given me. It's a great feeling!

You all gave great advice and I hate to say it, but I'm glad I'm not alone in this. Sorry that some of you have to deal with unsupportive parents, but you know the old saying.....misery loves company

Thank you to each and every one of you!
Unread 05-22-2002, 01:41 PM
Am I just too sensitive or what?

Dear Pasdechat,

I know this isn't about me but just wanted to share with you! I'll be 40 next week. A couple years ago my DH and I went through a really bad situation and of course, I looked to my parents for support and help. Not only were they not supportive but the advice they gave me was of benefit to themselves and not to me and my family! :cry:

I was absolutely crushed! All my life they had told me that they would always look out for my best interest and suddenly I discovered they were looking out for their own best interest, at my expense!

I pulled away from them, so hurt. As time passed by, I came to look upon the situation as a "changing" phase. A time for me to refocus on my own family (husband and two sons) as my priority and let go of my need for support from my parents. When I was able to do this, the hurt lessened. It also makes me less susceptible to getting my feelings hurt by them any more.

It's kinda like, having to grow up, at the tender age of 40, all over again. I look at it as "maturing" a little, a benefit to me! I would not wish this to happen to anyone else, as it is life changing but as you tell by all the responses you've gotten, it happens a lot.

I hope that something good happens for you, maybe your Aunt. I understand exactly how you feel. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You've got a friend, if you need one. Actualy, you have many here! Feel free to write me.

June Bloom Lauren
Unread 05-22-2002, 03:18 PM
who knew???

You're in Vancouver, WA? I'm only about 45 minutes, give or take, away from you, depending on traffic, and I'm sure you know how the Portland area can get... I'm in Cornelius, OR. Your surgery date is near the end of June, right? I don't know what my own circumstances are going to be yet,.. on my way to see my doc in an hour or so actually. But, you never know, right? Let's keep in close contact........ add me to your buddy list too, okay?
PS- I am so sorry you lost your MIL!!! I still have mine, but who knows for how much longer. She's like your's was,... would do anything for me... and even those she doesn't know. She is fighting ovarian cancer right now, and we're currently in the wait & see stage... I keep trying to get her to join this site too since having her own hyst. in Dec.
Remember, God loves you, and He will see you through! You are in my prayers,..... {{{big huge hugs}}} to you, and I hope that at some point soon we can meet up,.. we're so close to one another! I just want to give you a great big hug, sweetie,... you are not alone!! PS2- how old are your children?
Unread 05-22-2002, 03:28 PM
silly me...

I just read your profile, after adding you to my buddy list...
Your kids are the same ages as mine, only you have one extra than I do. I have all girls ages 6, 4, and 2,....... and I read your occupation,.. ballet teacher? My 2 older girls are in ballet, and the youngest can't wait until she's old enough to begin too. Their recital is on the 1st of June. Anyway, amongst all the turmoil, I thought it might be a tidbit of interesting info for you, and help turn your frown upside down if only for a moment.........

{{{big hugs}}} Your friend

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