No Date: from being a surrogate to a hysterectomy in 3 weeks...

I have an appt tomorrow to schedule my surgery. It went from a simple submucosal fibroid Removal to a hysterectomy within a few days. Yes i have 2 kids but Im only 30 and Im not ready to have My ability to have more children be taken away. This has happened so fast. Just 3 weeks ago i was talking to a friend about my being her surrogate and now we're in the same boat. Its overwhelming and i don't know how to deal. I keep having nightmares. All i hear is "be happy that you have kids, it could be worst, 2 kids are enough" i get what they're saying but this IS worse for me. i feel like Im being robbed, helpless and lonely. I wanted to be able to help My friend, she deserves to be a mother. Now i feel as if i gave her false hope and made her feel worst. I also wanted another child of My own and feel as if i don't deserve another.

Since you don't have cancer is it medically necessary to have the hysterectomy right away? Is your PCOS painful? Do you have the harmless cysts or the kind that can cause health problems if they rupture?

You can always get a second opinion to make sure you don't have other options.

Do both of your ovaries have cysts or is one healthy?

I'm a mom of 3 and wanted to have one more baby, but my uterus couldn't safely handle another pregnancy and c-section. So I know how it feels to have your womb taken away before your completely ready.

Having the ability to have children taken away from us is traumatic, even for those that were done having them years ago. It is such a FINAL thing, and having the " choice" removed is emotional. Others insensitive comments just need to be ignore as they don't understand. They are most likely trying to be helpful and trying to get you to see the brighter side bla bla bla. Discuss with your doctor if it is possible for you to put ff the surgery a while until you can come to terms with this.Find out what will happen if you don't get a hysterectomy? Would it even be possible to carry another child? You should also get a second opinion before deciding on a hysterectomy. 2 opinions are always better than one!!
:cathugs:

I was in the same boat. I was talking to my sister in-law about being her surrogate and then we lost touch (I tried to keep in touch with her, but she is in the process of becoming a doctor so she's really caught up doing her thing)! I assumed that after 2 years of not communicating or even mentioning the surrogacy she found another option. I was in pain and my health was deteriorating from the three kids I had. I still would have done the surrogacy if my health would have allowed me. I never felt so bad about having my own uterus removed, until I told her. She put me on such a huge guilt trip about and and even admitted that she felt like it was her "last chance" to have a child, and that i'm so blessed to have my kids. Of course I'm blessed, but I feel bad twice now that I can't help her have a child..and I can't have any more for myself.