Broken-hearted over step daughter

I have (had?) a lovely step daughter. Until I divorced her father (I had good reason) she was my shadow. She knew who her mother was and communicated with her occasionally. At first, after the divorce, she wanted to live with me, but we settled for the average visiting schedule, every other weekend, and one or two nights a week. Her father was busy dating so I got her more often than planned, and I was grateful. However, for the last couple months, her dad has been dating a much younger woman with a daughter a year younger than my step daughter and a toddler. I was easy going about it for the first few weeks. I know she loves little kids, and I didn't want to make her spend time with me and resent me. However, now I don't know what has happened. She not only won't stay with me, she had begun to stop answering phone calls and texts. I don't want to push her to the point that she resents me. I feel like all those years meant nothing to her. She is now an early teen. She was with me since she was 3. I don't know whether to wait it out or insist she come see me and risk making her really hate me. The last time I insisted, she never looked at me and just stayed on the phone or watched TV. She told me I was not family anymore. I was never able to conceive, so she is the only kid I have except for the fur babies. What bothers me is this is sooo out of character for her. She always was by my side, combing my hair, reading to me, asking about my friends. I know I did nothing wrong, and I know I can't compete with a young mother. I'm 48. Any ideas on how to deal with her without alienating her? Thanks.

sounds like she is doing what all kids at that age do... Want to be left alone. I have an 11 year old son that I barely see, and he lives with me. I hope it's just a phase. If I were you, I would make her come over at least periodically until she works thru whatever she's feeling. I would also try to have an honest convo with her. See what she has to say about it and let her know how it makes you feel.

(((Laurac06))), thanks for the advice. She tells me should doesn't want to come over, but I do need to talk with her, if I can get her to look at me. I know teens are difficult, I remember being one, ugh! Maybe if she can just hear how I feel and tell her I'm willing to give her time, it will help. I do appreciate your reply.

Maybe she would be more receptive to going somewhere with you (dinner or ?) as opposed to coming over to your home.... I hope things get back on track for you...

(((Twysmilng))) That's a good idea. Maybe I'll invite her to lunch or ice cream on Sunday. It would at least be a start. Thanks!