Full of regret

A little over a year ago I was referred to pelvic floor therapy for chronic pain and heavy bleeding. I had a 3cm fibroid. The heavy bleeding had only been an issue for a year. Hormone therapy wasn’t working out. Birth control always made me have my period more frequently. I was open to the idea of an ablation but my physical therapist wanted to work on my pelvic floor but it wasn’t helping much. I eventually had an appointment with her assistant who suggested I see the surgeon in the office. I went into the appointment wanting to discuss an ablation. She said it’s not a good option as it is only successful half the time and I asked if we could remove the fibroid and she said no because of where it was located. She said a hysterectomy was my only option. I also had abnormal cells in my cervix. I need to add here that I had recently experienced a nervous breakdown so that and the pain and bleeding were feeding on each other. I agreed to the hysterectomy because she sounded like she knew what she was talking about and again I was in a lot of pain. I never wanted children so no issues there. I wasn’t ready to immediately have this performed but the clinic called me multiple times to schedule and when I said I’m not ready they said the surgeon wanted to get it scheduled before she went on maternity leave so I said I would call back to scheduled it soon and I did. I cannot believe I went through with this. I can’t believe it was suggested immediately to have this performed. I can’t forgive myself for what I did to my body. To make matters worse my ureter was damaged and I spent a week in the hospital followed by three months with a drain in my kidney. My body has seen changes the surgeon promised wouldn’t happen. She didn’t tell me endo could come back. We weren’t even sure I had it but turns out I did. I didn’t research this and i again can’t seem to forgive myself. I’ve had nerve pain in my back and hips for a year now and my current PT says it’s because the nerves are healing. I’m seeing a new surgeon tomorrow to ask their opinion. Has anyone else made such a rash decision? I feel a lot of anger towards this team of doctors but ultimately take responsibility. I want to turn back time and get my old body back. Some pain is gone but now I have new pain. I don’t have a period but I told this doctor that the heavy bleeding hadn’t always been a problem. I’m in therapy. I’ve talked to friends but I’m still so depressed and often find myself in bed crying my eyes out over this. I hope things go well tomorrow. I hope I can learn to live with this.

Very sorry to hear about your pain, both emotional and physical. Like you , I regret my surgery. The first year after is the worst.
And also like you, I blame myself. Not because I didnt research it, but because I did. But went thru with it anyway. Guess I felt rushed as well.
Please know that you're not alone.

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Originally Posted by BeWell*17 Very sorry to hear about your pain, both emotional and physical. Like you , I regret my surgery. The first year after is the worst. And also like you, I blame myself. Not because I didnt research it, but because I did. But went thru with it anyway. Guess I felt rushed as well. Please know that you're not alone.

I’m sorry to hear you’ve felt the same. This feels pretty awful. I have other health complications like lupus and RA that I feel weren’t taken into consideration. I have autism as well so I have a bad habit of trusting people without really knowing them. I truly appreciate you responding and assuring me the first year is the hardest. The new surgeon I spoke with is very kind and listened to my concerns. Although I’m very sad I’m feeling a bit hopeful. Thanks again

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Originally Posted by ashleybart I’m sorry to hear you’ve felt the same. This feels pretty awful. I have other health complications like lupus and RA that I feel weren’t taken into consideration. I have autism as well so I have a bad habit of trusting people without really knowing them. I truly appreciate you responding and assuring me the first year is the hardest. The new surgeon I spoke with is very kind and listened to my concerns. Although I’m very sad I’m feeling a bit hopeful. Thanks again

You're very welcome! Best to you

Heya,

You aren't alone. I was backed into a corner to get a supracervical hysterectomy. It's caused nerve damage down my leg too. The surgery has put me in a permanent state of stress, my muscles twitch, my sleep is destroyed and I have severe hypoglycemic crashes I never had prior to surgery. I'm on my second doctor to try and figure out what is going on. All I know is I went from being a spunky 40 year old to a 90 year old overnight.

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Originally Posted by MyScreenName Heya, You aren't alone. I was backed into a corner to get a supracervical hysterectomy. It's caused nerve damage down my leg too. The surgery has put me in a permanent state of stress, my muscles twitch, my sleep is destroyed and I have severe hypoglycemic crashes I never had prior to surgery. I'm on my second doctor to try and figure out what is going on. All I know is I went from being a spunky 40 year old to a 90 year old overnight.

I’m so sorry! That sounds so painful. I’m glad you’re taking control and seeing another doctor. I’ve come across stories of women who have suspected nerve damage and their surgeon wouldn’t acknowledge it so they went to a different doctor to learn that it was in fact nerve damage. Thank you for sharing your story with me. I hope you find the help you need so you can reclaim your life!

Sending you a hug! I too regret my hysterectomy. It is a money maker for doctors. It has destroyed my sex life, I have permanent nerve damage and have been through 3 surgeries. Their failure to provide the true details of what happens to a womens body after hysterectomy is despicable. Like you, they rushed and pushed to get the surgery scheduled. I have used massage therapy and stretching to help manage my nerve pain Keep moving forward and find some HRT to help balance your hormones as need to help you feel better. We can only go forward from here, so don't give up on finding ways to help yourself.

Hugs back at you! And you’re right. it is freakin despicable. This has been such a nightmare. I recently switched my team of doctors after my old surgeon wouldn’t address my pelvic pain. She said it was without question not endo. This woman is so sure of herself it makes me want to scream. Went to a new doctor and found out I have an endometrial cyst growing in my right ovary. Unfortunately hormone therapy messes me up big time and I’m trying to treat PTSD from everything that happened so I can’t do a surgery right now so we’re keeping an eye on it. Daily stretching has definitely helped me with the nerve pain. It has been a huge issue for me since the surgery. I’ll be seeing a new pelvic floor therapist in a week and I’m really looking forward to that. I’m going to start trying dilators in hopes to someday having a sex life again. My new doctor has given me some really good advice and has shown me a lot of compassion. Wish I had met her sooner but you’re right, just gotta keep moving forward. Thank you for your response. I really needed it!

I'm on the autistic spectrum myself, so I can relate to your not being able to trust anyone you don't know. If my surgeon was trying to rush me into surgery for any reason, such as wanting to schedule it before going on maternity leave, I would take that as a huge red flag, and I would definitely seek a second opinion. However, I don't think that beating yourself up over your decision will be productive, because you made the best decision for yourself, based on information you had at the time, and sharing your story to help others is an important first step in healing from what happened to you; I hit a wall of depression after my post-op appointment, when the reality of what had happened finally sank in, compounded with unresolved grief from my mother's death in 2013, and sharing my story through this site has been an important part of my own healing process, even to this day. As you've learned, a hysterectomy doesn't necessarily cure endometriosis, so your next step forward might be to consult with an endometriosis specialist, who has the specialized training to treat it properly. Best wishes for your continued health as you continue to move forward and heal from this!

I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. I too really regretted my surgery and have been upset at myself for making such a rash decision without much research. I know you sent the message over a year ago but I just joined and saw it. I would love to talk to you about your experience and to share mine.
I truly hope you are doing much better physically and mentally.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by ashleybart A little over a year ago I was referred to pelvic floor therapy for chronic pain and heavy bleeding. I had a 3cm fibroid. The heavy bleeding had only been an issue for a year. Hormone therapy wasn’t working out. Birth control always made me have my period more frequently. I was open to the idea of an ablation but my physical therapist wanted to work on my pelvic floor but it wasn’t helping much. I eventually had an appointment with her assistant who suggested I see the surgeon in the office. I went into the appointment wanting to discuss an ablation. She said it’s not a good option as it is only successful half the time and I asked if we could remove the fibroid and she said no because of where it was located. She said a hysterectomy was my only option. I also had abnormal cells in my cervix. I need to add here that I had recently experienced a nervous breakdown so that and the pain and bleeding were feeding on each other. I agreed to the hysterectomy because she sounded like she knew what she was talking about and again I was in a lot of pain. I never wanted children so no issues there. I wasn’t ready to immediately have this performed but the clinic called me multiple times to schedule and when I said I’m not ready they said the surgeon wanted to get it scheduled before she went on maternity leave so I said I would call back to scheduled it soon and I did. I cannot believe I went through with this. I can’t believe it was suggested immediately to have this performed. I can’t forgive myself for what I did to my body. To make matters worse my ureter was damaged and I spent a week in the hospital followed by three months with a drain in my kidney. My body has seen changes the surgeon promised wouldn’t happen. She didn’t tell me endo could come back. We weren’t even sure I had it but turns out I did. I didn’t research this and i again can’t seem to forgive myself. I’ve had nerve pain in my back and hips for a year now and my current PT says it’s because the nerves are healing. I’m seeing a new surgeon tomorrow to ask their opinion. Has anyone else made such a rash decision? I feel a lot of anger towards this team of doctors but ultimately take responsibility. I want to turn back time and get my old body back. Some pain is gone but now I have new pain. I don’t have a period but I told this doctor that the heavy bleeding hadn’t always been a problem. I’m in therapy. I’ve talked to friends but I’m still so depressed and often find myself in bed crying my eyes out over this. I hope things go well tomorrow. I hope I can learn to live with this.