Things NOT to say to someone who is getting / got a hysterectomy

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Originally Posted by GhostTrain05 I wish I could “like” all of these posts like on Facebook, lol! I can’t even remember the number of times I was mistaken for pregnant prior to my hysterectomy. Nothing like getting those comments from total strangers to bring down your mood! Not pregnant, just full of tumors, thx for noticing! After my hysterectomy I had bleeding issues and lingering pain problems and really took 8 weeks to feel somewhat normal again and my sister would tell me I was just being a wimp because her friend had a hysterectomy the month before and she was out doing normal activity within a few days... That would really honkerblonk me off. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT!!! Why don’t people get that? And having a hysterectomy is MAJOR SURGERY. Not a simple procedure, but that’s how people view it, and that’s really annoying. And LMari- wow. That nurse needs to shut her mouth. Ugh!

Ohhhh I just read what I wrote and this site censored one of my words to “honkerblonk” and I cannot stop laughing! Oh man... that is hilarious. Thanks for the laugh HysterSisters! Lollllllll

This is more of a "things you CAN say" post, but one older woman (a very dynamic outdoors type in her 60s) said "I had one of those and it's awesome!". It was great to have that sort of support.

I also got the "Does this mean that you won't have any more periods?" question from a friend (who sounded kind of wistful). As I'd had nasty heavy ones and had put up with anaemia for a couple of years and horrible pain for even longer, my response was a big enthusiastic "yes!".

As I was in my 40s and had teenagers, at least I didn't get the comments about babies, but I can imagine how hurtful that would be for a younger woman. I'd never ask or comment about somebody's pregnancy, babies or lack thereof simply because it's not my business unless they make it my business, and because infertility is a very common thing. When will people learn?

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Originally Posted by Jamie46178 Wow. Tonight I ran into acquaintance and we were chatting and I told her I had recently had a hysterectomy. She commented, "No more babies for you!". Now, people who know me know that I am done having kids so that wasn't a problem for me, but I couldn't help thinking that this person didn't know that, for all they knew I could have been sad about losing my uterus and ability to have children - and someone in that situation hearing that would be very sad to be reminded of that. So my PSA that needs to get out there is that if someone is getting or had a hysterectomy, it's probably best to just ask them how they are feeling, if you can help in any way, and if they would like to talk about it. And while we're on that topic, it's never ok to ask someone when they're due either. I think a lot of us had/have bellies that made us look 3-4 (or more) months preggers with large fibroids, and afterwards with swelling, still maybe look pregnant. We don't need anyone reminding us of that. Anyone else have anything else to add? We should compile a list.unless this has already been done somewhere.

I so agree with you! As a woman who has suffered recurrent miscarriage loss - if someone said that to me it would have devastated me! I hope no one has the gall to respond to me that way after I have my hysterectomy!

My favorite one said to me is, "you had a hysterectomy because of cancer? you should have done/taken/ used... this r that. or If you had taken better care of your self....or well you are kinda heavy so maybe you'll lose weight now.

My doctor stated after my surgery " I had to take your lymph nodes as we couldn't determine via firefly( a dye injection) they were clear, but I had to dig and remove a lot of fat to get to them" I was flabbergasted. I said something to him at my 2 week and he aid he didn't remember saying that, but my husband was with me both then and at the hospital overnight and at briefing, so he looked at him and said "yes you said exactly that, she was very upset by it" he apologized. But it really wasn't necessary to tell me what I knew that I have fat on me.

My beloved neighbor said after two weeks LAVH now you are pain free from endo you should be happy and can run and hike with your dog NOW. Yep, I will do in two month perhaps.......
One friend told me the four incision are so cute.... Well you can have them .....
Pidy

Bravo to all the responses - so sick of hearing these responses!

I have had 2 c-sections and this is totally different!

Most of the comments I received from friends and coworkers were.. you dont need anymore kids anyway. I have 3 kids with my husband... and I am only 31. Yes I am blessed to have had my children at a young age but I still feel a great loss that I cannot have anymore. I think people are insensitive and do not think before they speak. Maybe I am being dramatic but I am extremely emotional today and cannot stop crying.

I went into work to give My doctors weight restriction order to My boss and a girl I work with said to me "So, now YOU'RE A dude!"
I was so upset when she said that. I said "No, now I just don't have the parts that caused Me all the pain and issues for years. "
She then said she was kidding. But it still hurt. Why do people have to be so hurtful when it comes to this?

When I told my son about the endometrial cancer, he asked his girlfriend about it. She told him that Endometrial Cancer is not a serious cancer. My son popped-in in the hospital while i was in surgery, I did not see him. He didn't come during the hospital stay nor after. At home I was alone (husband works) & needed help with aftercare. I was a mess.
The hospital was coldhearted. The advertising says that they are caring. I didn't even get a hug (not even one) and i needed it.
I joined G____ Club. I was not allowed to express my hurt.
I am angry at the cancer, at the doctor who did a slop-job, at the uncaring staff. also I'm angry at my loss of a part of me.
I no longer can be close to my husband, because of the slop-job.
Because of the slop-job, I need more surgery. I am too scared to go.

Thank you for letting me vent.