Scared to tell my family (fertility/kids mentioned)

Did anyone else have a hard time telling their family about their decision? When I was first considering the hysterectomy I talked to my mom about it. She is really against it because she's afraid I will regret not going through the more intense fertility treatments. Regret not having biological children. Now that the surgery is scheduled I'm nervous about telling her. It's not that she'll be mad, but I just don't want to hurt or disappoint anyone. My hubs told me not to worry about it, that it's my body and I'm the one basically going through labor every month. It's hard not worry about how my family will feel though. I have a colonoscopy Monday. I'm waiting until after then to tell her. If anything shows up on that my OBGYN wants to wait.

Why is it as adults, we're still so worried about upsetting our parents with our own adult decisions?? I'm just like you when it comes to that and it's frustrating!!! We're adults!!! Lol..... It's like a hold they have over us...... I don't know.

I want my kids to ask me my opinion/advice but never want them to feel the way we do! :/

As far as your procedure, I agree with your husband. Tell them. This is about you and your body! No one knows it better than you.

Doctors don't suggest having this done because they have a free afternoon. If you need this done, your health comes first.

My kids are all adopted. I've never had any regrets about not having biological children. Actually, I think it was a blessing! If I had, I wouldn't have my incredible kids and I may have passed my female issues on to them!

Bottom line, you are an adult who made an adult decision about YOUR body. Period.

Good luck to you!!

I had a hard time telling my sister and brother. I just didn't want to talk about it or want anybody to know. But we are close and I knew how hurt they would be if I didn't tell them. They deserve to know if I have a major surgery and they deserve the opportunity to be there for me.

I hear you. I was afraid to tell my mom because I didn't want her to be disappointed that I won't birth kids. After I told her and she was so relieved for me that I finally had a plan for my pain, I realized that I'm the one who is/was (depending on the moment) disappointed that I won't birth anyone.

YMMV, of course, but I can relate.

This is 100% your decision - no one else. Your mom may be speaking from her own fear and trying to project it on to you. But you know better than anyone what you have been going through, your pain level. You should not be worried about disappointing anyone - you are NOT a failure because you have to have a hysterectomy.

We are here for you, and we support you.

Hugs to you....

Thanks ladies! I had my colonoscopy today and everything was normal so surgery is def. scheduled for the 9th. I told my mom. She reacted a little better than I thought. She said she understands but if it were her she would have tried fertility treatments first, but she's not going to pressure me. She didn't even cry (on the phone at least). My grandmother is another story. I knew why she was calling so I didn't answer my cell. She cried through just about the entire message but made sure to let me know that however a child came into our family it would be loved just as much.

Now I've got two weeks at work to prep the other girl in the office on how to cover my work for the next 3-4 weeks and work my behind off. I've got my packing list made, shopping list made, and to do list made!

lawgsa - I am glad things went okay with your family. Remember again, this is YOUR decision and not your mother's or your grandmother's. You need to do what is right for you with your own body and your own health.

We are here to support you. (((Hugs))) to you...