Scared !!!!!

Thanks ladies for the kind words & prayers. It is 10:30 at night, so pretty soon off to lay in bed, so I can wait for morning. I just had some teddy grahams & my last diet coke!!! i will miss my diet coke. I plan to get up, take a run on the treadmill, pack for the hospital finally. I will get everything done that I need to. If I keep busy, my time will go fast, & hopefully I won't realize how hungry I am!!! Wishful thinking!!!!!

My husband & kids will be really helpful, so I don't worry about that, but..... the unknown is killing me. It has been the longest day in history, just waiting. I am guessing the night will be just as long. I am not worried if I don't sleep tonight, i will have plenty of rest in the upcoming days!!

thanks again! The support is fantastic!!!

Audrey

There ya go. If you can't sleep tonight (taking a chance that you'll log on at some time to pass this night along - lots of us have/will) you will have a deep sleep for a couple of hours during surgery!



Also know that when you're feeling strong enough to come back online, we'll all still be here - pondering a lot of the same things that you will be, and feeling a lot of the same things, too.

A loving, supportive family is an awesome asset. I have that, and couldn't possibly be more grateful for the way my family has rallied to help me recover. But, I still am glad every day that I found this website soon after surgery so I had somewhere to discuss and understand these things that are tough to share with someone that hasn't "been there".

Hey, it is almost one in the morning my surgery is at 7am. My husband is at work and my 2year old is sound asleep even the dogs are sleeping. I am not even going to bother trying to sleep I know it well be useless. I am trying to keep busy by making sure the house is spotless and the laundry is completely done. I am sitting here and just can't believe that tomorrow a very important part of me is going to be gone. I know I have to have this done but sitting here I am thinking the pain and bleeding is not that much trouble I could deal with this a few more years. I know I am kidding myself but people do not understand how important your uterus is to a women. My husbands says you have to have it done so you should be alright with that. I of course would like to smack him but holding myself back. I have three boys 16, 15, 2 and always wanted a girl. My oldest boys are normal hormone raging boys that are driving me crazy. I look at my two year old so cute and lovable and I still want my girl. I just hate that tomorrow makes it final there well be no girl for me and I just hate not having a choice anymore. Sorry for venting but I actually feel better except for the pain in my sides from the cysts. This is actually my second time to go under the knife for a hysto the first time was before my two year old the doctor thought I would be extremely scared from the cysts and the infectins but when he got in there it was not that bad so he just took the cyst out. A few months later I found out I was pregnant with my son skyler. It was almost like a angel saved me so that I could have my baby I keep hoping that angel will save me again but I know this time it won't happen. They say you actually go thru a mourning phase for your uterus and I do believe it because I can't stop crying. I will be glad when this is all over.