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One year out from surgery and I知 a mess One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

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  #11  
Unread 01-01-2020, 11:40 AM
One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

My GYN mentioned it and I never answered. I will!!! I知 desperate. Thank you!!!!
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  #12  
Unread 01-01-2020, 11:48 AM
One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Lulu24 View Post
My GYN mentioned it and I never answered. I will!!! I知 desperate. Thank you!!!!
It helped me so much. I talked to a friend who is a PT... She owns a place where I live....I wanted to use her pelvic floor PT but she had just left to go work in Chicago. I asked my friend for any recommendations.... She told me not to go with the local clinic/hospital as they only taught you kegels and didn't really do any hands on work. She said she didn't know if anyone in town that did the internal and external massage parts. I did end up finding one.... The only one in town!! And she was amazing!! My insurance allowed 8 sessions.... And that was really all I needed. I could tell it was helping so much but I didn't realize how much until I hadn't kept up with doing all the stuff.... My pelvic floor got tight again and I had pain with sex again. Started doing my exercises and massages again and the pain has subsided. I think it's very work looking into!!
  #13  
Unread 01-01-2020, 07:39 PM
Re: One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

I feel for you. I had a radical abdominal hysterectomy and lymph node removal when I was 37. They left one ovary but I don稚 feel the same since it was done. My lower stomach has a lot of scar tissue and is very bumpy. I can稚 explain it, I never feel attractive anymore. I致e lost a lot of weight since I致e gained it after the surgery but nothing helps. Sex no longer hurts but I never want to have it and I feel guilty about that.
I feel terrible for u that u are in physical pain but I understand all the other feelings you have! Hang in there, you aren稚 alone!
  #14  
Unread 01-05-2020, 07:43 AM
One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

  Quote:
Originally Posted by VeryLibra View Post
Surgery was last December. They took everything, so instant menopause, with hormones not an option. We waited to have sex for months and months - still discomfort, which was a downer. On top of feeling fat and unattractive. Surgeon referred me to a gyno who does a series of laser treatments to try and help with the discomfort. I have asked my husband to please initiate sex - he痴 always had a lower sex drive to begin with. He痴 very concerned about causing me pain, so he puts it back on me - says I have to use the dilator, etc. I just keep thinking about how I have a Frankenstein vagina - a Frankengina - no cervix so it痴 just a closed off stitched tube. I hate my body. I can have orgasms but they aren稚 the same. Ugh this is the worst.

Mainly venting because none of my friends remotely understand.
Hi, I can totally relate! I am 4 years out from hysterectomy and still have not had intercourse bc of the pain. We have tried but the pain is so bad we avoid it now. The pain is like knives lining the vagina. Doctor says everything is fine just use lubrication, but that does not work. My friend says, just really lube it up there!. People who have never experienced this don稚 get the severity of it! I have ZERO sex drive and cannot take hormones. But this week I am going to a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist since another friend recommended her. My friend who rec this PT has never had a hyster but has always had pain after her 3 rd child and since going to the PT after a few months my friend says sex is so much less painful. I am hopeful bc there is no getting better down there still , so it is worth a try! I will let you know! You are not alone!!
  #15  
Unread 02-15-2020, 06:00 AM
Re: One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

It痴 been almost a full year for me, give or take a few weeks. I know exactly what you mean about being frustrated with how your body is now something quite different. I pee way more often, constipation I used to have is now a distant bad joke, which is an improvement, actually, and sex is meh.

I知 ambivalent about the sex. First, I don稚 think about it a whole lot, which I think is a normal part of aging. When I do, I can稚 be sure my dear hubby will be on the same page, since his drive has been waning too. We adore each other, though, and we are both fine with that. When we do try, we are gentle with each other. We learned a long time ago not to resort to a measure of expectations that is difficult to meet. Love is way more than sex, and our companionship at this stage of life has much more to do with experiencing life together as life partners. Oh, how we laugh. My husband has a dry, sarcastic humor, and I do believe I giggle daily. As the year has progressed, my ability to orgasm has returned, but I do need to help.

Appearance-wise, I jiggle in new ways, which is surprising. I知 wider around than I used to be and I really have to work at keeping weight controlled. I remind myself of my grandmothers at my current age. Like you I had a full blown medical menopause...after I already had a natural menopause. I知 turning 59 in a few months so I知 really hoping that once this is more under control some things will be more predictable. In the meantime, I知 on an estrogen patch, and I use a vaginal estrogen cream twice a week, to help with dryness. Dryness is more than just a sex thing, it actually hurts to walk around like that. The worst thing for me was that my facial skin went into this horrible tantrum with lesions all around my hairline. The dermatologist thinks it痴 related to the surgery, but she gave me a cream that has slowly gotten it to turn around. My co workers do not seem to see it, or if they do, they say nothing. Today as I write this, I知 clear enough to go out with a bit of makeup on and feel pretty enough for an older broad.

Goals: once I feel like I won稚 still get any pain, I want to go back to yoga, maybe try some weight bearing exercise.(I知 walking when I can, that痴 a must) I知 going to splurge and get fitted for 組ood bras, and will buy clothes this spring that flatter me. I知 working on regaining my happiness and that helps with not feeling hopeless when I look in the mirror. Making sure I stay in touch with loved ones is also a way to feel more whole.

Try not to dwell on what you can稚 fix. You did this thing because you were trying to stay alive, right? This is the new you, even if this wing of your journey changed you. You are a hero for having endured this and you deserve to treat yourself as one.
  #16  
Unread 02-15-2020, 06:01 AM
One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

I totally hear you! I致e struggled since having my surgery July 2019. It痴 hard for many ppl to truly understand. I致e started working out 4-5 times a week which has helped me try to feel more comfortable with my body. Finding a class or yoga. I致e also really tried to focus on rekindling things I enjoy doing. I知 so sorry you are going through this. I hope you find peace soon and know that you aren稚 alone.
  #17  
Unread 07-22-2020, 08:40 AM
One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

THANK YOU for saying that 努hy is she making a big deal over a common surgery? I constantly keep things to myself because every one says 妬t痴 not a big deal, it痴 been a year. I feel Hyster-shamed into swallowing it all... it is especially difficult with any man in my life who just says- you should be pumped, you don稚 have periods!
Anyway.. I appreciate you calling that out because it makes me feel less crazy for feeling frustrated about that!

  Quote:
Originally Posted by BeWell*17 View Post
Totally empathize with you. I'm dysmorphic about my body now too. The first year was the worst. It's hard to talk about with friends/family because you get the feeling they are thinking "why is she making such a big deal over a common surgery?"
I hope you start feeling better very soon.
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