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Pre-op jitters Pre-op jitters

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Unread 01-18-2002, 10:54 PM
Pre-op jitters

I wasn't too worried about my upcoming TVH until I talked to my mother. She just got "hyterical" and told me that it was the end of my sex life, that it was the worst thing I could do, even though she knows we've tried everything short of this already. I gotta be honest she really scared me. She said my emotions and everything will change. As far as things look now I'm going to be able to keep my ovaries, so should I still have change? She had a RAH about 10 yrs ago. I know alot has changed since then but.... the worm of doubt has been planted. I've suffered anemia, cramps, and having to stay in bed half the month, if not longer. I think my family deserves a walking, talking, able to stand up straight mom. Please tell me I'm right. And yes, I know I shouldn't listen to her. I've got a good doc that's done a bunch. THis was also not the first procedure he advised. LIke I said, we've been around the block. Oh, before I forget, my UHC nurse called me as soon as she got the paperwork from my doctor, called me and said I needed to come talk to y'all. Thank you in advance for your help.
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Unread 01-19-2002, 01:59 AM
Positive thoughts


Listen to your doctor. As you said mum had her hyst 10 years ago. Surgery has moved forward a lot since then. Trust your doctor. And keep your thoughts positive.

I am only 5 weeks post so have not got back into having sex yet, but I certainly don't feel any different. If you read the post op threads, there are many on this subject. All of the women have different opinions, but almost all only have very positive things to say.

You have certainly come to the right place for help. This site is just the best.

All the best for your upcoming surgery.

Unread 01-19-2002, 06:20 AM
Listen to your doctor

Things have changed since your mom had her RAH hopefully. I know she means well as we all do when we try and talk to our kids.

I'm only 6 weeks postop, but honestly I already feel better than I did preop. I really had a rough time preop with my emotions, cramps, pain, bleeding, etc.... I spent almost every weekend for 10 months in bed when things really heated up. I was miserable and so was my family! At 40y/o I felt like my family deserved to have a healthy wife and mom. I deserved to have a decent quality of life.

I don't quite know about the sex end (hopefully to find out soon though) but I've already got feelings "down there" that haven't been there for quite a while. So hopefully with time my sex life will be back to normal, maybe better than normal. I'm going to think positive anyway!

My prayers go with you as you make this decision and also deal with your mom! It's tough for us daughters sometimes, but just have confidence in your decision and listen to your doctor!

Blessings to you!
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Unread 01-19-2002, 08:28 AM
Pre-op jitters

Hi Badger,

We're scheduled for the same day. No matter what the surgery, or illness, or whatever, there is always someone who had the same thing and has to tell you how awful it was, etc. Too bad it has to be your mom in this case. The day I told one of my closest friends about the impending surgery she went into a long lecture about how no one would ever so that to her, and on and on. I decided I was going to have to avoid her until after the surgery because what I need is to be surrounded by positive thoughts (and this is definitely the place to come). Everyone else in my life has been wonderful, those who have had hysts have been offering to help and telling me that it was the best thing they had ever done.

Please keep remembering your reasons for deciding to have a hyst and visit here a lot!

email anytime you need to!
Unread 01-19-2002, 11:02 PM
Thanks Y'all

You know, I know in my head that what she says isn't right, but there's that voice in the back of my head says "what if she's right?" and I had a talk about it with her today, technically yesterday, that compared to the way I hurt now, it just might be an improvement. She still says I'm wrong. I told her we've done everything else, and she saiys I should just live with it. By the way, my sympathetic mother is moving in with us for awhile the 27th. Because she's bored at my brother's house, not due to sympathy for my upcoming journey. She has refused to even stay here when I go to the Castle, telling me she'll come back home when I do. NO support whatsoever. I'd love to just ignore her, but how do you ignore someone in your own home? I'd love to tell her I couldn't let her come, but she's already packed. We're supposed to go get her Thursday, and take her to her sister's for the weekend. I think I'm losing my mind. I've been having procedures of one kind or another done since July. I'm severely anemic, and spend allot of my time in the bed. I'm sorry I sound like I'm whining, but I feel like I'm drowning. I keep telling myself I can do this, and I know I can. Just one teensy tiny step at a time.
Unread 01-20-2002, 01:42 AM

Hugs to you hun. Now Take a big breath and let it go real slow. Now my advice to you is not to listen to anyone no matter who they are. There are alot of people out there who will be more than willing to share all the horror stories with you and tell you all about their horror experiences. Just as well you found this site, as here you will hear alot of positive stories and experiences. Yes it is true that there are some that have had the occasional bad experiences and maybe complications with their surgeries, but all in all those that have even had bad times normally come right.
Please I know that your mum probably thought that she is doing her best to warn you about things that she has been through, but I think by the sounds of it maybe she did not have a good DR who was sensitive to her needs.
I had an LAVH/RSO and can say that I am so glad that I had it done this way, there was very little pain and the recovery was great. You mentioned that you will be able to probably keep your ovaries, that is a real bonus. I have managed to keep one and it is working fine and I have not had to go on any form of HRT or anything. If you do have any problems and have a DR that you have a good relationship with, then he/she will do their best to help you get through any hassles.
I have to say that I wish that I had of listend to my surgeon and had the hyst alot sooner. I feel sooooo much better for having had the surgery and you will to. What is the point to go on just putting up with it like so many woman did of earlier generations. Have it done and then begin to feel the awesome feeling of being able to get on with life. Go for it. Make a pact with yourself to only listen to the positive stories and if you have any querries then do not forget to post and ask or get any medical advice from your surgeon. Come into the chat room to as there you will find some wonderful ladies and share their experiences and have a few laughs along the way. Good luck to you and let us know how it went. Hugs Vicki
Unread 01-20-2002, 10:42 AM
Pre-op jitters

Hi, I had a TVH on 10/24. I kept my ovaries, had cervix removed. I have not had any problems. I can not begin to tell you how much better I feel. Do remember that your mom had her surgery awhile back and alot has changed since then for the better. I found the most difficult thing for me was the waiting for the surgery to finally be over. Take care and god bless.

Unread 01-20-2002, 12:06 PM
Pre-op jitters

Hey Badger,

From what I understand from reading the posts on this site, that women who keep their ovaries don't get thrown into menopause. The ovaries may go into shock for a while, but eventually come around. I plan on talking to my DR about this same topic at my pre-op appt.

You really have to remember that you are doing this for you! I think we all have second guessed ourselves and maybe put having this surgery off, but in the long run, we all need to have it for one reason or another.

Try to hang in there and good luck with dealing with your family. If you get upset, come visit this site for the support you need! Everyone here has been fantastic for each other!

Best wishes-
Unread 01-20-2002, 09:25 PM

Thank you so much for listening to me vent. I'm trying my best not to listen to her. Sometimes she calls and I let the answering machine get it. I just get tired of her being negative. She's now using the technique of forgetting I'm having surgery at all. When I mention my upcoming journey to the Castle, she says " What Surgery? You mean you're still planning on doing that?" Then like a robot I remind her of it and retell her why I'm having it done. This, of course, is her opening to tell me horror stories. I guess I need to quit reminding her of it, and let it just sneak up on her. Won't she be surprised when I just up and disappear for a couple of days?! LOL Oh well. Thanks again!!
Unread 01-20-2002, 10:44 PM
Pre-op jitters

Man ...

talk about toxic parents!

I am so sorry your mother is not supportive. Just come here and talk to these nice ladies. Try to tune her out.

The most important factor in most cases is, I'll bet, the patient's attitude.

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